(Looking at Pokémon cards)

8yo: “Will you trade me for my Pussyduck?”

6yo: “No thank you, I’ve already got a Pussyduck.”

Me: “Guys? Um. Somebody want to spell that one out for me?”

8yo: “P-S-Y-D-U-C-K. Pussyduck.”

Me: “I see. Well, we’re gonna go ahead and call that guy ‘SIGH-duck. SIGH-duck.”

When a member of the royal family dies, a random citizen is executed to help “protect their soul on their journey”. The King’s daughter just fell to her death and you have been selected

xqc: *grabs his genitals when he kills streamers he kind of dislikes on live twitch streams in the name of “playing his streamer persona”*

blizzard about to ban him literally while he is streaming:

In a dystopic near future, humans have evolved to spend their lives in complete isolation. Notions such as friendship, kinship, empathy and even conversation are alien and have been completely bred out of the population. One day you start to feel lonely…