m: st reboot

Kirk: You’re a dad, right? I could seriously use some advice!

Sulu: Well, my daughter is about 30% less lethal so I’m not sure my advice would be useful to you.

Kirk: Yeah, I guess that’s– Wait. How is she only 30% less lethal??

Sulu: I’ve been teaching her fencing. And her Baachan is a judo instructor, so… *shrugs*


Which eventually leads to the daughters’ tea time:

TOS to AOS

If you think about it, the new Star Trek movies are actually a pretty good representation of The Original Series. Hear me out;

First, you have Star Trek (2009) which represents your average TOS episode. They are loved by many, but very rarely chosen as the favorite. (TOS “The Omega Glory”, “I, Mudd”)

Then, you have Into Darkness which is the downright confusing episodes that left you wondering what the writers are on to come up with this shit. (TOS “Spock’s Brain”, “The Savage Curtain”)

Finally, you have Beyond which is the ‘golden episodes’. The ones that are treasured and beloved by everyone, and received acclaims and recognition worldwide. The episodes that define the essence of Star Trek, and the message it sends. (TOS “City On the Edge of Forever”, “Journey to Babel”, “Mirror, Mirror”)

i bet this happened once on the enterprise
  • jim: kARAOKE NIGHT EVERYONE
  • everyone except spock and bones: AYE CAPTAIN
  • bones: god help me
  • jim: I'LL GO FIRST OKAY-- SPOCK, THIS IS FOR YOU
  • bones: jim no don't-
  • spock: jim, you are inebriated, please desist-
  • jim: *bursts into singing* yOU GOT THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS, CHILL IT OUT TAKE IT SLOW-- SPOCK YOU HAVE THE MOST LOVELY BLUSH UPON YOUR CHEEKS -- YOU GOT THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS, MIX IT ALL TOGETHER--
  • spock: *nerve pinches the hell out of jim*

can you imagine sulu freefalling off the drill and just thinking to himself like

“NONONONONONONO GODDAMN FUCK IT WHY DID I LEAVE SAN FRANCISCO WHY DID I LEAVE THE ENTERPRISE I SHOULD’VE BAILED WHEN I LEFT ON THE PARKING BRAKE

WHO HAS COMBAT TRAINING HE ASKED ME I SAID WOW GREAT GOING SULU BRILLIANT. ABSOLUTELY GENIUS FENCING DOESNT HELP WHEN IM FUCKING FALLING INTO A BLACK HOLE I CAN’T FENCE MY WAY OUT OF A BLACK HOLE WHAT AM I GONNA DO STAB A VULCAN BIRD

DOES VULCAN EVEN HAVE BIRDS

THIS IS SO NOT WORTH IT THAT CUTE NAVIGATOR IS NOT WORTH THIS SHIT GOD I’M NEVER TALKING AGAIN NONONOONONO

NO

JESUS CHRIST WHO’S GONNA WATER MY PLANTS

NONONONO”