I’ve had your ask in my in box for weeks (months?) now, but I haven’t been
ignoring it, quite the opposite. I’ve
been hoarding it like treasure. Every so
often I take it out and admire it, then I put it back in the box to keep it
safe, because it’s precious and to be honest I hardly know where to start with this. However you deserve
an answer so let me try.
the obvious, ahem, aesthetic appeal, I am in awe of Erwin’s vision. He has an unnerving ability to look past the
obvious, the superficial, to see the potential that most people are unwilling
to see and don’t even bother looking for. He did it with the Survey Corps, he
did it with Levi, with Eren, with Hanji and Historia. Without Erwin’s vision, without his belief, the
Survey Corps would have been decimated long before Shiganshina, the corrupt
nobility wouldn’t have been overthrown, Hanji wouldn’t have become the 14th
Commander, Historia would never have taken the throne, Levi would have remained
a petty criminal in the Underground and Eren would have ended up as so much
meat on the autopsy table. By any
measure, that’s an impressive record for just one man. Levi wasn’t wrong when
he said that Erwin is gazing up at something he can’t even see.
is something you admire rather than love so the things I love most about Erwin are his self less courage, his humility and
his enduring humanity.
I don’t just mean his unfailing willingness to lead from the front and put
himself directly in the line of fire. I mean the courage to make the hard
decisions that every military commander has to make, the decisions that send
soldiers, comrades and friends to their death; the courage to keep making those
decisions over and over and over again, even though every death weighs heavily
on his conscience and the guilt keeps dragging him down. Erwin just shoulders
the despair and keeps on going, that’s what military commanders do, and its
only at the bitter end that we see that toll that it takes on him as a man.
most astonishing thing is that Erwin does all this without the slightest question
or complaint. There is not an arrogant bone
in Erwin’s body. He is willing to play
the role required of him; to be the monster, the devil, the fraud. The commander with the heart of stone who
sends men to their death without even blinking. And it’s only when he finally breaks that we
see that beneath the implacable façade he is still just a man. A man who hurts and bleeds like every other
man. A man who underneath it all is
still just the child haunted by his father’s death.
really what I love most of all about Erwin, after all the war and guilt and
sacrifice, he never looses his humanity.
Every death touches him, every face is etched in his memory, but he
still has the ability to connect to those he loves and respects. He never looses the capacity to love. Right
at the bitter end he is still able to open his heart to Levi and lay it all
before him. And if that’s not a reason
to love the man then I don’t know what is.
There is poem
that was often quoted in my previous Age of Sail fandom, Kipling’s The Song of
the Dead, and though I’m no fan if Kipling, there is a line in it that always
makes me think of Erwin
blood be the price of admiralty,
Lord God, we have paid in full.
paid the price in full, but he never lost his humanity, and that dear Anon, is
what I love about him the most.
I started drawing this rn.. Zeke cutting off Erens hair. You know how Zeke said he would save Eren one day from Grisha. And how Eren now has Grishas mind set and even grew out his hair. Time is running out for the both of them so Maybe if Zeke catches up to Eren to tries to wake him up he could maybe be saved? I don’t know.