m: lost

i.


there are days
when my stars
align just for me.


my inner cosmos
telling me to write
about the pain.


my inner cosmos
telling me to expand
the universe within.


ii.


there are days
when my stars
collapse.


i am made of pure
darkness.


i am made of pure
anxiety—


terrified of not seeing
the sun again.


iii.


there are days
when my stars
rise—


like the infinite suns
that they are.


illuminating my being.

—  juansen dizon, calendars

euphoria

what was once real
turned to a memory
like my undying
love for you

i remember thinking
you were the only one
for me
and that
i was in love

i told everyone
i fell in love with
you
but i guess i was
stupid

because love isn’t real
it’s just a chemical
imbalance
telling you
that you just wanna fuck

funny isn’t it

you’ve said i love you
to people for years
and yet
it wasn’t true

you’ve said
i’ll love you forever
when someday forever
will be non-existant

funny how love
is equivalent
to so many
lies

funny isn’t it

how i’ve lost
sympathy
for those
broken hearted

because how can
your heart break
from love
if it’s not real

love is just
a moral dilemma
and i’m sorry
but you got yourself into this