m: lost


March 2017

Creation Vancouver 2017 - Emilie de Ravin panel part 1 [part 2, part 3]


Metal foundry L // Metallgießerei L

Ask anybody and they’ll tell you that this is their favorite room. Coming up the stairs you round the corner, expecting nothing in particular and then there’s this huge bright room, the wind is howling and drowning out your voice and right there covering the whole wall is a dove of peace. We’d recognize this graffiti anywhere! 

Lost - Jaebum ver.

Character: Im Jaebum x You || Choi Youngjae x You 

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Length: 2045

Sorry for late post! I’ve been stressed and sick. But enjoy this trash writing tyvmuch. 


Originally posted by j-miki

You stood there in mere silence. Trying to take in everything that just happened between you and Youngjae. Then it hit you hard. Youngjae had just confessed to you, and you were freaking out. Walking around aimlessly trying to figure out what to do. Your phone started ringing and vibrating on the floor and you noticed that Youngjae was calling you again. You panicked and didn’t know what to do. Should you pick up the phone or ignore the phone call? You walked back and forth intensely and your phone stopped ringing and you assumed Youngjae wouldn’t you call again, but you were wrong. Your phone rang again and Youngjae name appeared again once more. You picked up the phone from the floor and nervously answered the facetime call. Then appeared Youngjae face. You took a good look at Youngjae and you could easily tell that he was overwhelmed and his face was flushed.

“(Y/N)?” Youngjae said. “Yeah..” You trailed off. “Is it possible for you to forget about what just happened?” Youngjae asked. You stood there and didn’t know what to say but the curiosity got to you. “…not exactly.. But is it true? That you like me…” You asked quietly. Youngjae looked at you then looked away from the camera screen. Youngjae sighed deeply. “..whatever, screw this. Yes, I like you,” Youngjae said nervously. You stood there in shock and couldn’t help but to ask even more questions. “Since when.. Since when did you like me,” You asked. “When we skyped every day in the summer and hung out every day in the summer, I couldn’t help it but I started having feelings for you..” Youngjae said quietly. You thought back in July and remembered all the memories in the summer with you, Youngjae, and Tiffany. You thought back and remembered at that time you had a crush on Youngjae too. “Uhh… (Y/N)..?” Youngjae said wondering if you were still there. “Youngjae… If you just told me back then.. Maybe me and you could’ve happened..” You said quietly. “I just didn’t… I didn’t think you.. Like me like that?” Youngjae said with a sad tone. “Youngjae.. Are you serious.. I’ve liked you for so long! I thought you knew.. I.. I even told you on the last day of school,” You said in a sad tone. “No you didn’t!” Youngjae argued back. “Yes, I did. Monica even told you! And you even asked me to confirm it when Monica told you that I liked you,” You argued back. You and Youngjae kept bickering at each other for a good solid five minutes. “O.K. Stop. We’re getting nowhere with this. Youngjae is this why you’ve been distant with me ever since I started dating Jaebum?” You asked. Youngjae looked at you and nodded. “Yes, every time I thought of you two, I would get so angry at myself..” Youngjae said. You looked at Youngjae with sad eyes and Youngjae looked at you. “Youngjae.. You know I can’t return these feelings for you… Today is me and Jaebum 3 month anniversary” You said. Youngjae looked at you and nodded. “Yeah.. Tiff told me.. I didn’t think I wasn’t going to ever tell you my feelings but it happened..” Youngjae said. “I’m sorry..” You trailed off looking away from Youngjae. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not like you were going to dump Jaebum for me,” Youngjae said trying to smile. You looked at Youngjae and it hurt your soul to the point where you wanted to cry. “(Y/N), I’m gonna go, thank you for listening to me,” Youngjae said with a smile. You nodded your head and Youngjae said goodnight to you with a smile and ended the call. You stood there silently then fell to the floor with tears. Your heart ached because Youngjae was hurt and you were the one causing it. After crying and letting out all of your tears you went to bed. You didn’t want to think anymore. You just wanted to go to your dreamland and you wanted to suppress what happened today.

< Morning Time >

It was morning already, you woke up and went to the bathroom and you looked at yourself. You thought back at what happened last night. You remembered the incident with Youngjae. Tears fell out of your eyes again. Hurting Youngjae really hurt you, because you didn’t want to lose Youngjae, but you don’t want to hurt him either. You were caught in a tough situation and you didn’t know what to do, and to top things off you had to tell Jaebum and you knew he was gonna be super angry about this. You were feeling really overwhelmed. You were lost, and not knowing what to do. You’ve actually liked Youngjae but you locked away those feelings for him, but even then you still has small feelings for him still. But on the other hand, your feelings for Jaebum were massively strong too. You thought about it long and hard and yet you still didn’t know what to do. You didn’t want to hurt anyone but either way you were going to hurt someone. Whether it was Jaebum or Youngjae one of the two was going to get hurt. You knew deep in your heart that you couldn’t leave Jaebum, he was there for you and he made you forget about Youngjae. You decided that you didn’t want to hurt Jaebum and you wanted to stay with him. Youngjae was your best guy friend. Youngjae was once the guy you liked but now that’s in the past. Even though there are small feelings you believe that being with Jaebum was better and you realized that you really love Jaebum. Youngjae was someone you cared about but he had his chance and now those chances were over.  You’re with Jaebum now and you enjoy being around Jaebum.

After gathering your thoughts thinking about Youngjae and Jaebum it was time to talk to the boys. You called Jaebum first. “Yes (Y/N)?” Jaebum asked. “Hey Jae.. There’s something I need to tell you. Do you think you can come over right now?” You hesitantly asked. “Uhhh, yeah? I’ll be there in 30 minutes,” Jaebum said and then hung up. You then called Youngjae. “Hello?” Youngjae said. “Hey.. we need to talk, can you come over right now,” You asked. “ Uh yeah.. I guess, I’ll be there soon,” Youngjae replied. You hung up the call and you were nervous. You walked back and forth waiting for one of the boys to show up. Your doorbell rung and you were panicking. You ran to the door and opened the door. It was Jaebum first. You hugged Jaebum tightly and then released him and escorted him to your sofa. “So.. What’s wrong babe?” Jaebum asked. “Uhh, It’s something important I have to tell you but I need you to wait for a little bit more,” You replied back.

The doorbell rung again and you went to go opened the door. Youngjae appeared and you dragged him to the couch when all of a sudden Jaebum stands up immediately. “What’s he doing here!” Jaebum said in a angry tone. “Jae, sit down,” You said. “Why.. Why am I here (Y/N)??” Youngjae asked. “Both of you sit down,” You said in command. The two men sat down and looked at you. You were shaking because you were scared how this was going to turn out but it was now or never. “Ok, Jaebum. You know that I love you right,” You said making eye contact with him. Jaebum nodded. “And Youngjae. You know I use to like you and you’re like one of my best guy friends right,” You said making eye contact with Youngjae. He responded with a nod. You took a deep breath. “Jaebum, I know you’re all about trust. So here goes it. Last night Youngjae and I were facetiming because something seemed wrong with hi-” You said but Youngjae cut you off. “(Y/N)! What the hell!” Youngjae yelled and stood up. “Youngjae. Sit down, he needs to know. He’s my boyfriend,” You said with a serious tone. Youngjae sat back down and looked at the floor. “Anyways, last night we facetime, and… he ended up confessing to me..” You nervously said. Jaebum immediately stood up and pulled Youngjae close to his face. “You piece of shi-” Jaebum said angrily but you cut him off. “Jae. Let him go,” You said immediately. Jaebum looked at you and then looked at him and then released him. “Thank you. Now sit down and let me finish,” You said. Jaebum sat back down and looked down onto the floor as well. “Jaebum I know you’re furious and angry but don’t involve violence please. I wanted to tell you this because I don’t want to keep secrets from you,” You said. Jaebum lifted his head up and looked at you. You smiled at him and then looked at Youngjae. “Youngjae… You probably weren’t expecting this but I had too.. Youngjae, at one point I did like you and I admit my feelings for you were really strong, but that’s in the past now.. And currently I have strong feelings for Jaebum. It hurts my soul that I’m hurting you and I don’t want to hurt you but I’m sorry..” You said. Tears were falling out of your eyes and you wiped them away. Youngjae stood up and walked up to you. “Thank you.. Thanks for this proper rejection. I know I had my chances but I was scared and I regret it so much. (Y/N).. It hurts that I can’t have you… But I know you’re not trying to hurt me too, so don’t cry,” Youngjae said with a small smile. You looked at him and you started crying even more. “Stop crying you idiot. You’re going to make me cry too. Look (Y/N). I just want you to be happy and if Jaebum makes you happy, and whether I like it or not. I have to accept it,” Youngjae said. You nodded. “I’m sorry, you’re like one of my best friend. I.. I.. I don’t want to hurt you..” You said while sniffing. “(Y/N) look at me. I know you don’t want to hurt me. I know. But this is my problem. Don’t blame yourself ok?” Youngjae said. Jaebum stood up and walked to the kitchen and went to get you some tissues. He gave you the tissues and stood by your side and held your hand. “I guess this is where I take my leave,” Youngjae said while looking at you and smiled. Youngjae walked to the door but Jaebum called called Youngjae. “Youngjae. I want to apologize for earlier and thank you for being (Y/N)’s friend and lastly thank you for respecting me and (Y/N)’s relationship,” Jaebum said in a sincere tone. Youngjae looked at Jaebum and bowed his head and went out the door.

< Youngjae P.O.V >

I closed the door and then put my body against the door and slid all the way down. Finally, I let all the tears escaped my eyes. “Damn, I really lost to him… It’s not like I was expecting anything… Aish, this hurts,” I said under my breath. After releasing my tears, I felt a little bit better. I stood up and walked away from her house.

You were sniffing and wiping your tears and still sobbing. Jaebum hugged you and patted your back. “Stop crying, you’re breaking my heart,” Jaebum said in a sad tone. You looked at Jaebum and wiped your tears. “I feel.. I feel like I ended up hurting you too. I just.. I just feel like I’m a huge problem..” You said while sniffing. Jaebum took his hands and cupped your face. “You’re hurting me by crying. Honestly, I’m just happy that you didn’t leave me, but what makes me even more happy is that you were very mature about the situation and you handled it very well,” Jaebum said with a smile. You bursted into tears and started sobbing loudly and you hugged Jaebum tightly. “(Y/N) I love you and thank you for staying with me,” Jaebum said while hugging you.  


Thank you for enjoying this not good writing lulz. Youngjae ver. will be updated hopefully next week. I’m up for open request too! 


Sweden, Stockholm, Norra Djurgården. 2016

Visit http://silentmemoria.tumblr.com/ for more.

anonymous asked:

i have been looking for days to find this one fic where connor gets amnesia and loses ten years of his life? and in it he isnt very nice to ollie but comes to remember later? i cannot for the life of me find it!

I’m sorry. I’ve tried looking and remembering but for the life of me I can’t either. I’m sorry.

I am lost now
but hold on
my dear.
Do not go out
and look for me.
Just stay.
Stay and wait
for me
with arms like
and a heart full
of love.
I will find my way back,
I promise you.
—  Lukas W. // Find my way

Hey so this is a really long shot but my cat is lost. I depend on her for so much. She’s the living embodiment of my fight for mental stability, I adopted her exactly a year after I was released from the hospital after threatening suicide. She means so much to me and she’s lost because my dad let her out of the house when she was annoying him. I live in Plymouth Minnesota. It’s cold as fuck here and it’s supposed to snow tonight. Please try to get the word around.