Summary: Bucky and Y/N have been fairly successful at keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the Avengers. That is… until Nat walks into the kitchen one night and finds Bucky kissing Y/N. While Y/N is relieved that their relationship is out in the open it soon becomes more complicated than she could have ever imagined.
I knew if I wanted to keep the rest of the team from knowing
the awkward drama that was unfolding between half of its members I would have
to keep calm for appearances’ sake while trying the best I could to avoid
Bucky. As we neared the dinner table I took my place between Sam and Steve.
“Not gonna sit with your boyfriend?” Sam asked with a wink.
I sighed internally. I obviously was already off to a bad start. From the
corner of my eye I could see Bucky shift slightly to look at me.
“Why would I do that when you’re here, Sam?” I countered
with a flirty smile. He chuckled into
his beer as he shook his head.
“Better watch out Barnes or I might steal your girl,” Sam
chortled as he raised his eyebrows playfully. I braced myself and looked in
Bucky’s direction. There was no humor in his eyes as he stared unblinkingly at
“Wine?” Tony interrupted – pulling my attention away from
I smiled at him warmly as I nodded my head. He poured a
small amount and was about to leave before I placed my hand gently on his.
“Tony, you might as well top it off,” I suggested. He laughed as he shook his
head and poured me more.
“You’re usually not one to drink in excess like the rest of
us,” Tony chuckled as he looked at me inquisitively.
“People change,” I shrugged as I lifted the glass to my lips
– looking directly at Bucky. His eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly as I turned
away and offered my attention to Tony who was diving headfirst into our meeting
while we ate.
“Y/N, it’s your turn to clean the dishes!” Sam proclaimed
with a slap on my back. I felt a small surge of panic. Bucky could easily
corner me in the kitchen and start the conversation that I was already talking
myself out of having.
I groaned as I got up from the table and began collecting
everyone’s dishes. Nat had luckily excused herself quickly after eating so I
didn’t have to force a pleasant interaction with her. As I neared where Bucky sat
and reached for his plate he mumbled, “I’ve got it.” With that, I spun on my
heel with the empty plates in hand and made my way straight to the kitchen with
Bucky following closely behind.
We began our task in silence. I washed the plates and handed
them to Bucky to dry – never taking my eyes away from what I was doing. The
tension between us was palpable, but I refused to be the first to speak. As I
handed him the last plate his hand brushed against mine causing me to nearly
drop it as I jerked back. I turned to look at him and saw the hurt that filled
his eyes. “Y/N, I…” he began, but I held my hand up. I was more than a little
tipsy from all the wine I had had with dinner. It was making it increasingly
difficult for me to hold my resolve.
“I… I can’t… not tonight,” I finally managed to say.
“Then when? Y/N, I need to explain,” he added as panic
seeped through his voice.
“You’re right. You need to explain, but not tonight Bucky.
For one night I don’t want to cry over you. I just want to have a nice night
with my friends. Is that too much to ask?” I added angrily.
“Everything okay?” Steve asked as he leaned casually in the
entryway to the kitchen.
“Yeah, Steve. Bucky was just finishing up,” I added as I
threw the sponge back into the sink and walked out of the kitchen with Steve
walking beside me.
“Are you really okay?” He asked under his breath.
“Yeah – I just… I drank too much and I just want one night
with all of us together before I fuck it all up,” I muttered miserably. Steve
wrapped his arm around my shoulder and gave me a light squeeze.
“Well luckily for you its movie night,” he said as we
strolled into the common room.
“And we’re watching The Hangover!” Sam shouted as he held up
the dvd case. I groaned as I rolled my eyes playfully. In all honesty, this was
exactly what I needed.
Steve and I settled ourselves onto the couch. I secretly
prayed that Bucky wouldn’t sit by me, but given the fact that the only free
seat in the room was beside me there was no way he could get out of it— at
least not without drawing unwanted attention to us. A few minutes went by before Bucky strolled
out of the kitchen. He scanned the room looking for a seat and saw the only one
open was next to me. He casually grabbed my favorite blanket for movie nights
before making his way to the couch and sitting uncomfortably close to me. Of
course, for the others he was still my boyfriend so nothing seemed out of the
“I can take it from here, Steve,” Bucky whispered, a little
too intensely, prompting Steve to remove his arm from around my shoulders.
Bucky casually replaced it with his – holding on to me a little too tightly. “I
brought your blanket,” he whispered as he spread it over us. I grunted softly
in reply. My intake of wine was making me tired, but I was also acutely aware
of Bucky’s fingers gripping my arm, and the warmth of his body as he sat next
to me. I had been afraid of this – being around him and becoming intoxicated by
his presence. It was so easy for it to happen, and I suddenly found myself
trapped – unwilling and unable to break our contact. Maybe it was the wine, or
the lonely nights at the cottage that caused my sudden lapse in self control,
but for a few moments I allowed myself to forget everything that had happened…
just so I could feel his comfort again. I rested my head softly on his shoulder
and felt his small sigh as his fingers caressed my skin under the blanket. My
body relaxed as my heartbeat slowed.
As I drifted to sleep I wondered if it was possible for us
to find a way back to each other.
I blinked wearily to a strange sound coming from the other
room. I vaguely remembered falling asleep with my head on Bucky’s shoulder, and
him carrying me to my bed. I heard the noise again – this time it was louder
and longer. I sat up rubbing my eyes. With a surge of panic, I realized that
the noise was coming from Bucky’s room and, more importantly, that it was
Bucky. I jumped out of my bed and made my way to the hallway. As I pushed his
bedroom door open the sight caused my breath to catch in my throat.
“Y/N,” he called wearily as Nat held him to her.
“Oh… I’m… Okay…” I muttered as I spun on my heel and quickly
retreated. I could hear Bucky get up from the bed and follow me. I didn’t want
to go back to my room so I walked the long hall to the elevator – hopeful that
I could get the doors to close before Bucky could catch up. I was just in luck
– I pushed the button to the rooftop balcony as the doors closed on Bucky’s panic-stricken
face. I sighed with a sudden surge of relief.
“FRIDAY,” I said to the empty elevator.
“Yes, Ms. Y/N?” FRIDAY responded.
“Don’t let Sargent Barnes know where I am,” I responded
“Yes, Ms. Y/N.”
Stark Tower was expansive. With any luck Bucky would give up
his search and go back to his room – giving me time to think. I wearily dragged
my feet as I exited the elevator. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. So this was
it – after all this time, after all of my running – I had never been able to
admit to myself that I wanted to come back to Bucky and make everything okay…. but
now in the face of losing him to someone else, I could? My heart sank as I laid
myself on the couch in the sunroom that overlooked the New York City skyline. I
felt miserable as tears spilled over my swollen eyelids. For some reason what I
had just witnessed seemed like a bigger betrayal than Bucky not telling me
about Nat in the first place. It was intimate and personal – something that I
had always helped him with, and in the span of a week I had been replaced. I
hugged myself tightly as I laid on the couch and cried myself to sleep.
i did something i already regret. but, itll help me and you.
i said goodbye.
and, its going to fucking suck, not hearing your voice over the phone and not seeing your smile when we facetime. but it will be better for both of us. i can get clean. you can further your relationship with greg. you can be happier and healthier and ill find someone eventually.
my heart will always yearn for you, but it’ll learn to distract itself from the smell of your hair or the way your eyes flutter when you laugh.
Is it bad to headcannon characters that are minors as being a certain sexuality like asexual or gay?
asexual yes, gay no
let me explain
i’m only referring to young minors here (from elementary to middle school) but the issue with headcanoning characters who are minor as asexual is that asexuality is entirely based around sex. when you headcanon minors as asexual you’re implicitly thinking about their feelings about sex and whether or not they experience sexual attraction. that’s creepy. that’s wrong. don’t do that.
on the other hand, headcanoning minors as gay is fine! being gay is not all about sex. kids can be gay. kids can have crushes on their friends and hold hands with them. it’s not about sex and therefore thinking a character might be gay is fine. it’s good. it’s encouraged