m. sombras

Sombra joins the fight
  • Tracer: I've got you now, Sombra!
  • Sombra: Do you? Well, I've got footage of you with a certain sniper when you were supposed to be on a mission. Didn't Overwatch lose that mission...? I hope it wasn't -- oh look, it was marked 'critical importance'.
  • Tracer: ... *hammers rewind*
  • --Later--
  • D.Va: I'm taking Sombra down!
  • Sombra: Ah, Hana Song. Are you livestreaming right now? I wonder what your followers would think of their gaming queen, if they knew she didn't actually know how to play Poké--
  • D.Va: Uh, uh, my mech's malfunctioning. Stream's going down guys, uhm, whoops. *flies off*
  • --Later--
  • Pharah: Target acquired.
  • Sombra: *sighs* Two words: mommy kink
  • Pharah: ...target lost.
  • --Later--
  • Pharah, D.Va, Tracer, and others: Okay Sombra, this time you're not getting away. We've got the perfect agent to take you down!
  • Lucio: I guess that's my signal.
  • Sombra: Haha, please, let's see...
  • Sombra: *checks pocket computer* uhh
  • Sombra: *starts pulling out folders* hold on, wait
  • Sombra: *starts emptying her pockets* no wait I got this
  • Sombra: *finds a small, crumpled note* Ah hah!
  • Sombra: Lucio, what about that time you, uh, were fifteen minutes late to your shift in the... soup kitchen... because you'd found a sick dog and had to carry it all the way to... are you serious? Are you serious right now, that's it?
  • Sombra: You know what? Just take me in.

omfg so they released some new characters for the mlp movie today

ANOTHER TIREK??? THERE’S MORE THAN ONE?????? I GUESS???? are we gonna go full-on lord of the rings up in here because this seems like witch-king shizz up in here

scREAMS THERE’S GONNA BE SEAPONIES FINALLY OMFG AND IT’S KRISTEN CHENOWETH AND SHE’S PERFECT AND A PRINCESS AND I AM IN LOVE AND I AM SO EXCITED I HOPE SHE SINGS

CAT????? PEOPLE??????????? FURRIES??????????????????

but taye diggs is awesome so i accept our new furry overlord

TELL ME THIS DOES NOT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE’S “I’M THE DAUGHTER OF SOMBRA BUT I BROKE OFF MY EVIL HORN SO I COULD BE GUDD :)” EDGELORD OC. but look princess snoots are canon. sea breeze doesn’t have to be mistaken for a man anymore. she’s probably real badass so i am on board with you, edgelord ~*~teMPest raven d’edge ShADow~*~


all and all i am hella hyped. Loving this new art style they’re playing with, too!

AAAAAAAAAA

“I’m borrrrrrrred,” Sombra exclaimed over a communications channel she definitely did not have clearance for. “Pay attention to me.”

“I am somewhat occupied,” Satya responded, staring more intently at the menu in front of her. All the options sounded delicious but none of them sounded trustworthy. The waitress was beginning to tap her foot.

“You’re always busy! What happened to the Symmetra who always had time for me?”

“She was a figment of your imagination.” Satya found something she hoped would not kill her and indicated on the menu with a single finger, not trusting her pronunciation. Relieved, the waitress nodded and swept up the menu, practically skipping back to the kitchen.

“That can’t be true,” Sombra said over her earpiece. “I bet you’re up to something super boring like getting dinner.”

“I could be in a life or death situation, you have no way of knowing.”

“Actually,” Sombra said as she materialised in the seat opposite her. “I do.” She stayed there looking smug and expectant until Satya leaned over and greeted her girlfriend with a kiss. “Much better. So what are we having?”

The waitress came out, bearing what was once going to be an indulgent meal for one and, on seeing Sombra, grabbed another set of cutlery.

“Were you so lonely you could not survive a day without me?” Satya inspected the food closely, held at the end of her fork like a research specimen before taking a measured bite. It was, as the menu had promised, exquisite.

“I wasn’t lonely, it’s just I get freaked out hanging out in your apartment without you. All those light sculptures are creepy.”

“My work is not ‘creepy’,” Satya replied, insistently. Sombra was busy scooping food into her mouth, clearly having forgotten to eat today.

“It’s a little bit creepy,” Sombra insisted back, “I can’t read any of it. Those holodisks you leave around just have a neat little message that they belong to the Vishkar corp and nothing behind them.”

“They are not coded, there is nothing for you to read.” Satya explained, clearly demarcating the portion of food she intended to eat with her fork. “Once a hardlight sculpture is formed, the process of maintaining it is largely analogue. Trying to ‘hack’ them is no different than trying to discern the coding of a construction drone from a concrete wall.”

“Yeah, like I said, creepy.”

Somehow, that made her smile. “Creepy might describe your augmentations, my sculptures are beautiful.”

“I thought you liked my augmentations!” Sombra defensively covered the polished lines of metal coating her scalp, their purple glow showing through her fingers.

“I did not say I did not like them,” Satya replied, stealing a mushroom from Sombra’s side of the plate and eating it before it could be stolen back. “Just that they are creepy.”

“I’m wounded! You wound me!” Sombra replied, hands flinging up in her usual overt dramatics. Satya did not mind so much; overt dramatics were easy to read.

“I did not say they were not beautiful,” she said, pulling one of Sombra’s hands down into hers.

“Really?” Sombra asked.

“They are light.” Satya leaned across the table to trace the lines across her scalp. “All light is beautiful,” She whispered, and kissed her girlfriend again.

  • D.Va: My dad's cooler than yours!
  • Sombra: My dad can kick your dad's ass!
  • D.Va: Nuh-uh
  • Sombra: Yuh-hu!
  • *Meanwhile, in the other room*
  • Reaper: What are they arguing about?
  • Soldier 76: I dunno, what do kids who don't leave the house fight about?
  • Reaper: What about- what're they called?- Plokemon?
  • Soldier 76: Or their PSU's or, uh, Wii-box4's.
  • Reaper: Yeah, that sounds about right.
  • Soldier 76: We're such up-to-date caretakers.
  • Reaper: Of course we are. Who else is gonna do it? The moms? Ha! That's rich!
  • Soldier 76: We're so good at this, the kids are fine, and we don't even have to do anything!
  • *Back in the other room*
  • D.Va: Ready your bow and fight me!
  • Sombra: I'm sure Hanzo and Genji will be fine if we borrow these for a bit.
  • Both: En guarde!
  • Soldier 76: Yep, perfectly fine.

look i’m sure sombra will tell us actually relevant and important secrets about the other characters but i kinda wish she’d just tell us stupid little embarrassing things instead like she just walks up and

“pharah still sleeps with her teddy bear his name is JUSTICE sometimes she stuffs him in her armor on long missions”

“i’m not sure what’s worse; the fact jack wears tighty-whities or the fact gabriel wears a thong”

“reinhardt has a deathly fear of spiders he’ll immediately jump on furniture to escape them that’s why all the furniture was always broken”

“one time ana fell off a sniper perch into a dumpster and she thought no one saw BUT I DID”

“mccree actually doesn’t listen to country or western music he likes really perky j-pop songs he just lies because it doesn’t fit his ‘image’”

“mercy both sleepwalks and sleeps nude it’s really an experience”

youtube

OK duck + me were going to do regular science and………we uh……………discovered……………sombra doesnt rly care about the skybox

  • Sombra: This is so cool, I've never been part of a girl group like this. If peeing together is fun, I can't wait for the next activities.
  • Widowmaker: I have also never had a girl group, and that's because studies show that women tend to be indirect communicators and I'm too direct.
  • Sombra: Ah.
  • Widowmaker: Speaking of which, here's a mint, because your breath doesn't exactly smell amazing.