flamboyant and a little bit sinister: the louis tomlinson story
“One of the lads I play football (soccer, if you’re American and wrong) with at Uni is from Doncaster and went to the same school as Louis Tomlinson. He sat next to him in English and describes him as ‘Flamboyant as he seems and a little bit sinister.’”
Reita: Shall we move on to the Dark Side Segment now?
Kai: Oooh, nice. Do you have something?
Reita: What should I read…oh, here’s one.
(sinister music starts playing)
Reita: “Reita-san. Kai-san, good evening. I want you guys to evaluate the dark side of my guy friend. I went to his house, and I discovered he had an erotic novel. I was able to laugh it off when I found dirty DVDs and stuff, but I was really taken aback by the erotic novel–”
Kai: Wait a sec
(music abruptly stops)
Kai: (laughing) Stop stop stop stop
Reita: What what what what
Kai: I can’t…I can’t (dying)
Reita: Try harder! I’m trying too!
Kai: I can’t…! It’s so not fitting to the music!
(both killing self laughing)
Kai: Okay, okay, I’m listening, I’m listening.
(sinister music resumes)
Reita: “As a guy myself, I feel like his dark side is deep. By the way, I borrowed it and read it, and the story was about these hot sisters doing stuff to the main character, and he ends up dying of pleasure and going to heaven, which made me even more confused as to why [my friend] likes it.”
Kai: (laughing) So it’s that kind of segment, eh. I had no idea.
Reita: So…he was shocked by the erotic novel.
Kai: (laughing) Hoh-hohh.
Reita: By the way, do you…
Kai: Oh, I’ve never read one before, but…are they that graphic?
Reita: I’ve never read one either…I wonder…
Kai: So, would it have been okay if it was a porn magazine? Or a DVD?
Reita: Maybe he was turned off by it cause it was writing?
Kai: I have no idea, but…wait, are you saying cause it seems more real in writing?
Reita: Hmm, I mean, I do read novels – mostly mystery, but…sometimes in those ones they do describe [sex] scenes, but they’re particular about using euphemisms.
Kai: Like, expressions that leave it to your imagination?
Reita: Yeah, yeah.
Kai: Ahh, I see. But from what this guy said, it seems like his friend doesn’t hide [his porn], right?
Reita: …Yeah, he doesn’t.
Kai: He keeps it out in the open, let alone the fact that he lends it to people.
Kai: I think it’s great that a man can be open like that.
Reita: This person said it’s their guy friend, you know. It’s not a boyfriend.
Kai: Oh, right, right, right. It’s not a boyfriend.
Reita: So…you can shut up.
Kai: Hehe yeah ok….but….there’s a lot of weird girls out there, too, you know?
Reita: Okay, so imagine you went to your girlfriend’s house, and there were hardcore erotic novels out in the open.
Reita: What would you do?
Kai: Burn them!
Reita: Oh, you would?
Kai: Yeah, obviously!
Reita: Okay, what if she had DVDs? Burn them?
Kai: What kind of DVDs?
Kai: It depends on the genre. (laughs)
Kai: It depends what she was watching.
Reita: Okay, gay porn.
Kai: …Gay porn!?
Kai: But I guess that’s what girls watch, huh.
Reita: No it’s not (laughs)
Kai: Well I don’t know! …I’ve never watched the shit girls have.
Reita: I guess.
Kai: But I kinda admire girls who are open. Whether it’s a guy or a girl, I like people who don’t hide things.
Reita: Excuse u ur hiding 500 million yen.
Reita: That’s not open at all…
Kai: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ye that’s cause I’m a dick.
Reita: Okay…what if you went to your girlfriend’s house, and the walls were plastered with posters of male idols?
Kai: Ahhh…I really wouldn’t like that.
Reita: But you just said you admire girls who don’t hide things.
Kai: Ahhhhh….yeah but……
Reita: Not so much?
Kai: I just don’t like idols. That’s all. So I couldn’t.
Reita: What if it was posters of pro wrestlers?
Kai: Oh nice, nice, I would look at them.
Reita: Ah, okay.
Reita: I see, nice. So, to answer this guy’s question, do you think his friend who reads erotic novels has a deep dark side?
Reita: He’s normal?
Kai: Yep, he’s normal.
Kai: Reading erotic novels is no different from having magazines or DVDs.
Reita: Also, you know I mentioned before that sometimes the books I read have scenes like that, and it’s actually nice because it stirs your ability to imagine things.
Reita: I just mean it’s not a bad thing.
Kai: Enjoying it in writing?
Reita: Yes yes
Kai: Ahhh~ I see. Maybe I’ll read one.
Reita: But when you read novels you like, finish reading one line and then read the same one again.
Kai: (laughing) I don’t get people who read so fast! It’s like, you’re not even reading! You know, the ones written vertically with the small letters…
Reita: This one time I gave you like a novel or something and I was like “read this,” and then I watched your eyes and they just kept moving from top to bottom (laughs)
Kai: (laughing) Yeah, it’s true, I kept reading the same paragraph and halfway through I’m like, “wait a second, this isn’t making any sense! Didn’t I just read this!?”
Reita: That’s so bad…
Kai: Yeah, I just can’t read fast…
Reita: Anyway, you should try reading one sometime.
She was trying her best not to sound smug. Trying, and largely failing; the pouch had been one of the only things she’d been able to get to work, when it came to enchantments that didn’t involve sealing, or imbuing objects with light magic.
To have caught a pickpocket, sticking his hand into the bag… and into it, and into it, and into it…
Well. The fact that she’d had to grab the boy by the elbow was a testament to how well she’d expanded the space.
Keeping a firm grip on the captured arm, she raised an eyebrow.
“Why don’t you tell me what you were after? Was it food? Rupees? Something more sinister? I’m happy to share the former two, but the latter?”
She curled back her lip, showing all of her teeth in an unfriendly grin.
Authors Note: Post AOU cuteness and fluff. Fluff is such a rarity from me, I’m usually so sinister.
It was always in those moments that Tony felt the most at peace.
There were hundreds of distractions for him to think about. From his work at SI, to his technology down in the lab, to keeping FRIDAY up to date with upgrades and making her run as smoothly or even smoother than JARVIS did, Tony was a busy man. He had meetings to think about, thousands of dollars to try and repay, charities to fund, and most importantly, an Avengers Initiative to keep alive and breathing for him.
So it was no surprise that when he and Steve could meet up, unbeknownst of anyone on the team or otherwise, peace was their main salvation.