Day 20: Deep

THIS TOOK ME FOREVER…. I’m never drawing ocean trenches again. It was worth it though xD I wanted to do another mermaid, but thought ‘why stop there?’ and now my hand hurts like hell LOL (enjoy the product of my pain today guys <3 I’m going to go soak my hand in ice)

anonymous asked:

Uuuugh just listened to some of this weeks collider Jedi council and they talked about the Judi Dench video and all they talked about was how maybe she makes a guest appearance in the next film and just ignored everything else... And then some more Rey skywalker theories 😑

hAH MY GOD THAT’S. OHBOY. / deliberately ignores that she talked about several theories and then a ship to top it off/

good lord what even were the skywalker theories

i try to understand both sides of an argument (believe it or not, lmao, i kno i ofc give off my huge reylo bias) but i feel like it has such a weak leg to stand on

and that the negatives of such a reveal would FAR outweigh the positives like just to name a few problems

  • luke would be next in line for worst dad of the year
  • rey would probably be more than a little pissed at him that he abandoned her and never came back
  • the drama of kylo being her cousin would be………. so…….. dull…………… like idk about you but i am not at all close to my cousins it isn’t nearly the same as being a sibling (a theory which for all intents and purposes has already been kicked to high heaven by the books and daisy btw)
  • we’ve done the familial plot twist shit before and it’s one of the most iconic star wars things. the sequel trilogy got away with retreading a lot so far, but if they retread that it will be as old and tired as the starkiller trench run.




Whyyyyyyyy is this bullshit sleep regression lasting SO LONG!? Like H has always been a garbage sleeper but she will usually have like 2 ok weeks and 2 horrendous weeks just so I can catch up and stay sane. It’s just been the bad weeks since the very start of October and I’m DYING. Every night she wakes up just shortly after 10pm and refuses to calm down or go back to sleep sometimes until 5 am 🙃 no matter what I do. I’ve gotten desperate in recent days and started bringing her into bed with me and that doesn’t even do anything? She just wants to incessantly babble as LOUDLY as she can and then alternate with high pitched frantic screaming.

I’m miserable. I’m exhausted. My usual vices for help when I’m in the trenches like this aren’t available bc husband is working a lot to ensure good cash flow for Christmas season, and my mom is really busy with her own things. I don’t trust anyone else with my kids really, so I suffer.

Even if she was sleeping my anxiety is through the roof. I noticed this afternoon our washer was making a weird buzzing noise and I didn’t think much of it, went to go put the wet clothes in the dryer tonight and they’re still in a ton of water. The landlords are coming tomorrow to see if it’s reparable or if we need a whole new washer…so I need to clean my entire house and they’re 100% going to notice the patch on the wall where my child ripped all the paint off the wall where we connect the baby gate 🙃 like I have no way of hiding it. We of course plan to cover the cost of repainting it we just wanted to wait till we got a better baby gate that actually screws into the wall with a swinging gate so we aren’t agitating the wall so much.

It’s also like a brand new washing machine, so I’m paranoid I’ve somehow overloaded it and broke it and my landlords are going to be pissed. I’m really careful when I do the washing but sometimes I put more in than I should when I have to get stuff done quickly. I know they probably won’t even care, I mean in rentals things like this happen all the time, but they’re just such wonderful landlords I feel guilty that something in their rental isn’t working and Hubby won’t be home when they come tomorrow and I’m so ANXIOUS in these situations cause even the wrong tone makes me panic and cry.

i stumbled out of the dark into a low light that seems blinding
compared to what i had previously inhabited and made my home in
it’s not a rapturous existence 
or a miracle
just medicine and the fear of the unknown
tinged with a little hope
but i guess the pain is worth it when you’re dragging yourself forward
it’s a war zone in my body and i’m crawling from the trenches
little bit by little bit
i’m not normal, i’m just stable 
but that’s more than what i was
no more throwing myself blindly at the world
or staying locked up in negativity
i see myself unafflicted, in a vacuum, true neutral
peeling back the curtain
starting over
—  Can’t Relate     2017

*creepily walks up to some kids wearing a trench coat* “hey kids come back here I got something to show you” *leads them down a back alley* *opens my trench coat* *I’m wearing another trench coat underneath* “don’t talk to strangers” *evaporates*


Self-propelled mortar on the chassis of the combat vehicle “Wiesel”.
Specifications self-propelled mortar lePzMrs:
Number of crew members: 3;
Weight, t: 4,78;
Overall dimensions, mm: length - 4780; width 1870, height - 2110;
Armament: 120-mm mortar, 1 x 7.62-mm machine gun;
Maximum firing range, km: 6;
Maximum rate of fire, RDS. / min: 6;
Ammunition of mortar, min: 27;
Engine: diesel, Volkswagen;
Engine power, HP: 109;
Maximum speed on highway, km/h: 70;
Cruising range, km: 286;
Overcoming obstacles: slope – 40 %; Side slope – 30 %; the wall is 0.4 m; the trench is 1.5 m; Brod – 0.5 m