I’ve never hated having obsessive compulsive disorder more in my life. You are my constant obsession. It’s not even you, it’s the constant: Why did she leave? Why wasn’t I enough? Why couldn’t she love me? How could she do that? How can she just be fine? Was it even real? Did she ever actually love me? Why can’t I let it go?
All of it brings pain. I want.you not because of you, but because now everything that I thought was real is fake. I thought we were beautiful together but clearly my thoughts were a lie.
It really fucking hurts. I cry all the time. I want you to miss me back.
I don’t love you but you consume my every thought. All of the obsessions, all of the intrusive thoughts…..they all revolve around you.
I miss you so much that it physically hurts. I’m aching for you.
I don’t know how to stop thinking that you’re beyond beautiful.