m carson

Three Ways Through Sappho

Carson: 

no: tongue breaks and thin/ fire is racing under skin/ and in eyes no sight and drumming/ fills ears and cold sweat holds me/ and shaking/ grips me all, greener than grass/ I am and dead–or almost/I seem to me. 

Miller: 

my tongue grows numb; at once a subtle/ fire runs stealthily beneath my skin:/ my eyes see nothing, my ears/ ring and buzz,/ the sweat pours down, a trembling/ seizes the whole of me, I turn paler/ than grass, and I seem to myself/ not far from dying. 

Dubnoff: 

but my tongue is frozen in silence;/ instantly a delicate/ flame runs beneath my skin;/ with my eyes I see nothing;/ my ears make a whirring noise./ A cold sweat covers me,/ trembling seizes my body,/ and I am greener than grass./ Lacking but little of death do I seem.

2

When he was finished Britland hovered outside Carson’s door. After a few minutes he lifted his hand to knock softly on the smooth wood surface a part of him hoping the occupant within would tell him to go away. Instead the door opened a crack and Carson demanded “what do you want?”

“Can we talk?” he asked

“I’m busy” Carson mumbled.

“Please” Britland entreated him. He could see the indecision in Carson’s lavender eyes. The softening of the lines around his eyes as he opened the door allowing him inside. “Thank you” he murmured as he walked past into the room beyond. His eyes grew large and round as he saw the clothes piled high on the bed in various stages of packing.

Carson shrugged at Britland’s unasked question “I can’t stay.”

“And I can’t go” Britland could feel a heaviness fall over his chest like something was pressing in upon him squeezing his lungs.

Honestly though, this is just so - so - Elsie Hughes is having doubts about Carson wanting to see her nude and find her sexually desirable and Carson is going to have to reassure her that’s not the case and that’s what he does want and jfc can you imagine season 1/ 2 /3 /4 Charles Carson ever being able to say that; season 5/6 Charles Carson is this beautifully grown character and I am not okay about it, I’m a mess.