I seriously hope you guys know that you should never feel that youre alone. You are never. EVER alone at all. You guys are just an amazing individual who does what they can, You went through so much and you keep hitting the continue button
BE PROUD OF THAT.
I just cant stop making sure you guys know just how TRULY amazing you really are..
I Just want you to make sure you remember ONE THING……
And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts. And I looked, and behold a pale horse, and his name that sat on him was DEATH, and HELL followed with him.
INDEPENDENT & PRIVATE Walter C. Dornez, from Kouta Hirano’s hit manga series, Hellsing Ultimate. SELECTIVE & LITERATE WRITING STYLE. CAN DO MULTIPLE WRITING STYLES FOR ANYONE’S LEISURE. MULTIFANDOM. Ask is open to everyone, followers and partners alike.
Despite having so many supportive people in my life, I find that all I want is a boyfriend who loves me for who I am. Despite having a “good life”, all I feel is tired, sad, and like I’m a waste of space and a burden. Despite there being so much good in the world, all I see is the bad.
I’m putting your initials here because there are sooo many people on here who write to C’s and I want you to know that this is directed at you, and that I’m the one writing it.
What the hell is wrong with you? Can you stop acting so nice to me? Like I know we have an unspoken truce at lab because we’re partners, along with MZ, but stop going the extra mile to be nice to me then. You had your chance years ago and you fucked it up. Stop using it to your advantage to strike conversations out of me. This isn’t the reason I’m pissed off at you. Sure I’m ticked, but I can get over it.
MZ told me today about how in Math class yesterday you told her you how you wanted to kill yourself because nothing was going your way. What fucking right do you have to say that shit? What just because she got mad at you, are you trying to make her feel bad?
Telling her that the guy she’s crushing on is a fuck boy is not, ‘looking out for her’. You don’t even know him, just what he posts on IG. If you told her to be careful and actually cared about her, she wouldn’t be mad. But hey, I know you you’ve never cared about anyone besides yourself. You never cared about me. You acted nice to my friends to get on my good side.
You cannot base what someone posts on social media on who they are. I’m a sassy bitch on snapchat all the time, and snap random shit that I’d never say in front of everyone. I even call people out, sometimes directly sometimes indirectly. Does that make me a bad person? No.
Part of me is actually scared that there was some truth to the fact that you said you wanted to commit suicide. A lot of that is probably from me trying to keep MZ away from you because she doesn’t want to be near you. Perhaps from all the old shit that happened between us. That was your fucking fault tho, don’t you dare play the victim card.
Part of me wants to tell Mr. R and/or guidance that you said something like that because this school doesn’t need anymore death. I don’t want to end senior year with a death. It would be the first year that the school community didn’t have a student or teacher pass away since we’ve been there.
In all the years I’ve known you, you have never once made a suicide joke. You’ve had sick jokes before, but nothing that bad. The worst you ever did was try and jokingly touch CB’s surgery scar on his neck last year.
I hate to admit that I’m concerned. Despite all the bullshit you’ve pulled over the years, despite everything you’ve been pulling, I don’t want it to end like this. You told me yesterday in lab not to get too close because you were sick, I actually hope that was the case today.
It’s been glad not having you in school. I don’t need to watch my back and MZ can feel safe and not suffocated. L doesn’t have to deal with your bullshit.
I hope to god that you weren’t serious with saying you wanted to die. Don’t do this for me, do it for your younger siblings. Don’t you think they’ll care if you die? You can’t just leave them like that. I care enough that if you do go through with it and I never said anything, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. I’d blame myself for not saying anything and hate myself even more than I do.
Next time MZ says you made a joke like that I’m going straight to Mr. R or guidance. I won’t let something like this happen if I can prevent it.
Ps: Yes I still hate you, but I don’t want you dead….anymore.