lying pig

BTS as Southern Phrases
  • Jin: Bless your heart
  • Yoongi: Playing possum
  • Hoseok: happier than a dead pig lying in the sun
  • Namjoon: nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
  • Jimin: pretty as a peach
  • Taehyung: caught with his pants down
  • Jungkook: working harder than a one-legged man in a kick ass contest

fernlom  asked:

Hey Simon, I’m feeling bogged down by the weight of life, can you say something to help me feel better?

In 1998, Jo Ann had a heart attack and fell to the floor of her trailer. She could not rise, nor move.  She shouted for help, but her voice was weak and no one heard her. Her pet pot-bellied pig, Lulu, would continually come to her and lick her face and hands, reviving her.

Seemingly, as if in luck, Jo Ann heard a man’s voice. A person was at her oor, even though her home was set back from the main road, quite far. The man heard her shouts for help, broke into the trailer, and called 911, rescuing Jo Ann. She was taken to a hospital where emergency open-heart surgery was performed.

Later she was told that the man only knew to come to the door, because Lulu had been lying in the street, as if dead. He stopped his car, and thought it odd that a pig was lying in the road. When he moved to help the pig, it leapt up and ran toward the house, behaving as if it wanted him to follow. When they reached the trailer, the man knocked, and heard Jo Ann’s cries for help.

Later, it was learned that Lulu had done this repeatedly to several other cars, scraping her stomach raw by pressing her wide body through the tiny dog door set into the trailer’s door. Lulu struggled, back and forth. Each time a car ignored her squeals for help, she would return, squeeze through the door, check on her mother, and then return to the street to find the next car.

Because of this animal perseverance, Jo Ann lived. Doctors said that if she had lain there for merely a few minutes more, she would have died.

Is that what you had in mind?

All the Same

I came from a long line of woman, who excepted bad behavior from their men. They allowed them to lie and cheat on them, throughout their marriages. I watched my mother, aunts, grandmothers, and cousins be miserable.

I swore I wouldn’t allow that behavior from the man I was with. It was a deal breaker, end of question relationship over, if I caught them cheating on me. That’s why I thought my Aaron, was perfect, he’d come from the same sort of background. Only it had been his mother, cheating on his father for years.

The shock and devastation that hit me when I walked in on him with his secretary in our bed. He didn’t apologize, or try to stop what he was doing. The ass, actual smirked at me.

His comment was “Life is too short to just screw one pussy!”

Keep reading

The Way You Move//Kim Yugyeom(Part 15)

Pairing: Yugyeom x Reader

 Genre: Romance, Smut

Summary: @morsalinou said:

Your rrequest are open omgggg ok,…. I will try requesting simething for the first time here😅 hmm can i request a smut (🙊💕) where yugyeom sees you dancing in a competition (like hit the stage) or you dance with him you can decide (this weeks theme is love did you watch this show btw😍) and the rest is up to you! I’m so nervous omg😲😂

Author’s Note:  Sorry for the lack of updates! Also, sorry for the length of this chapter, it’s short, but only because it’s a filler chapter! Enjoy it nonetheless!xoxo Sara

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9  -Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 Final

The walk back from the diner was silent. You would look over at him momentarily, watching the dim lights from the lamp-post reflect against his skin, before looking away. You didn’t know exactly what to say to him, or how to react, or what to do. You wanted to ask him about the competition, about what would happen next, but the words never seem to leave your mind.

You both arrive at the apartment complex, stopping momentarily in front of the door to face each other before going in. You looked at the ground, in wonder of what to say, before you felt something warm against your shoulders.

Keep reading

Cheats (Jimin Angst)

Cheating. It’s such a harsh word. I hated using the word, but after him, it was never the same. His eyes when he looked at her when it happened. It was all behind my back, but at the same time so obvious. Love really does blind you in the worst ways.

His name was Jimin. Jimin was a sweet guy, really nice and funny. I just loved him, I was head over heels. We eventually started dating about two years after we met.

At first, he couldn’t let go of me. We were inseparable. We were perfect for each other. Not a single thing in the world could change us.

Then, he got less passionate. Which is normal, except he started transferring it to another girl.

My. Best. Freaking. Friend.

Her name was Victoria. She was a snake. I always knew that. She had these beautiful green eyes and silky long black hair. She was thin and pretty, the thing everyone wanted.

I was also pretty with beautiful eyes and long nice hair. I was also thin, and everyone liked me. But the only difference was I actually had a good personality.

I remember the warning signs. They were so obvious.

Phase one, was how he kept leaving more often saying it was just practice for the next concert. Or how he just started ignoring me. The only time he talked to me it when he was really in the mood for some kisses or affection. I was so dumb for not seeing it.

Phase two, was more secretive. The way he didn’t look at me the same. The way he left during the middle of the night when he thinks I wouldn’t notice. Oh, I noticed. But I blew it off. I never once said anything.

Phase three, the boys started warning me. The way Yoongi looked at me sympathetically and jerked me away from Jimin. Or how Tae kept diverting my attention from him. But still, I was convinced that he wouldn’t do anything like that.

Phase four was when it started getting serious. He stopped talking to me completely, and never once let me talk to the boys. He always hung out with her, my then best friend. The way I saw them stealing glances at each other and even touching each other under the table right in front of me.

After that I broke. I still remember how it happened. The way it crumbled my reality into a harsh hissing wasteland.

I walk into the familiar dorm. Letting myself melt into my surroundings.

“Y/N!!” Tae cheekily smiled, his eyes darting to Jimin’s door and back to me.

“Y/N is here? Really?” Yoongi said nervously, staring at me shakily.

“Yeah, I told Jimin an hour ago. He didn’t tell you?” I ask, my face melting into an expressionless façade. Namjoon’s eyes glazed into a nothing less void it seemed.

“He blocked you a long time ago. He said that you were ignoring him.” Yoongi stated, watching my expression. I started shaking. I was ignoring him. Me? ME? Oh! Oh, that’s how he wants to play. He’ll get what he wanted.

I stormed past them, an undeniable anger pulsing through me. They tried to block me, but I pushed past them.<br>
No remorse even made its way through the fury.

I pushed the door open. Watching them as they kissed each other, their backs heaving from a lack of breath.

“H-hey Y/N” Jimin cockily smiled, sure that I wouldn’t leave him. Her in the other hand, she saw the fury. The way my eyes darted between the two of them.

“You worthless, PEICE OF CRAP! I HATE YOU. YOU LITTLE IDIOT, JERK FACED WOMANIZER!” I leaped onto him, his face contorting into confusion from my words. I could see that they stung.
But it made me happy. Seeing him like this. My mind was purely anger.

“AND YOU!!!!” I say, stabbing my finger into her face. Letting her try to back away, but I pulled her right back. “You little beach, can’t you keep your hands off of one guy for a second!” I hissed, tears stinging my eyes.

“Y/N calm down. It’s not like anything happened, and-” Jimin tried, my eyes snapped to him. A new level of fury taking over my mind as I tried to make sense of what was happening around me.

A shrill shot through the air. My voice shrieked and sobbed and screamed. Tae bursts in, looking at Jimin with disgust. Tae grabbed my flailing arms, tears soaked through my shirt. I looked like a mess.

“Calm.” Tae whispered. I couldn’t though. My heart pounded I wanted to scream even louder but I couldn’t. Jimin looked at me in horror along with Victoria.

I give them a cruel smile, making Jimin back away. His eyes brimming with tears from the spiteful words that flew out of my mouth.

“You like this. Don’t you?” I laugh dryly. He shook his head, sweaty hair shaking from side to side. A look of shame spread across his face. “Yeah. You do. You did this to me. So you meant it. You wanted to do it.” I stated, looking at his face in mock sympathy.

“No. I don’t.” Jimin cried. Looking T the mess he made of me. The tears that never stopped streaming down my face. “I’m sorry. Y/N. I really am.” He begged reaching to touch me.

But before I started to scream again. Yoongi charged into the room, hitting Jimins hand away before he even got close.

“Don’t you dare touch her.” He growled. Making Jimin take a step back. “You did this. You coward. Now you can’t fix it. Get. Over. It.”

Jimin looked around. Seeing nothing but hateful glared burning into his soul. Veronica looked ashamed. Rightfully so. Her usually bright eyes are filled with embarrassment and resentment. Her body shook with self-disappointment.

I stared at him. My heart thumping wildly when I saw him out of pure hatred instead of love.

“Get out.” Namjoon says quietly. Pointing towards the door. Jimin was dumbfounded by the demand, rooted in pace from shock. Veronica on the other hand was scrambling to leave the tension filled room.

“Wait. You guys. It was nothing. You guys are being a little rash-” He begged trying to save himself. Interrupted by Jin’s voice.

“NOTHING! YOU CALL THIS NOTHING!! YOU DIRTY LYING PIG GET OUT OF THIS DORM BEFORE WE CHANGE OUT MINDS AND LET Y/N HERE OUT TO GET YOU! GET. OUT. NOW.” Jin barked. His usually kind and soft voice, now harsh and cold. Jimin looked at us, leaving in his shame. Trying one last time to touch me, but everyone made a shield around me protecting it from his touch.

As he slammed the door. Just when I thought there were no more tears to shed. Waterfalls came practically outing out of my eyes. I fell to the ground. Accidentally landing in a pile of broken glass making me shriek from all kinds of pain flooding my body.

From that day I never looked at him the same. That cheater. The one who cheats.


Another sketch dump of things I will never expand on. 

first two are an alternate version of the “Land Before Swine” In the main Mystery dads au verse.

  Basically the idea is that Fiddleford figures out the Stan’s lying and lost the pig very quickly. But he wants Stan to admit it himself, so instead of telling Mabel he’s just really salty up until Waddles and Stan fall into the chasm, At which point Fidds feels really bad cause he thinks his husband is dead. 

Also he does not get eaten by anything.

the third pic is just some doodling that I really liked.

and the last picture is Mystery Dads Fiddleford attacking his ex in his giant robot.

People frequently ask me if I would eat an animal if it died of natural causes or in an accident. I´ve always struggled to understand how this is even relevant. The animal flesh people buy does not come from freak accident or animals dying of old age. The majority of flesh people eat comes from systematic breeding, exploitation, and slaughter of animals.

A couple of days ago a truck transporting pigs to a slaughterhouse in Canada had an accident and 42 pigs died. The majority of the surviving pigs were limping and visibly injured as they were forced to march to their death. Some pigs were too injured to move very far. These pigs were lying in the grass for hours in pain. Activists were desperately attempting to reason with the slaughterhouse workers, police, and what looks like a bloody SWAT team. These compassionate people were begging to give water to injured pigs, to stroke and comfort them, provide medical attention, and to bring them to sanctuaries. The repeated pleas were constantly ignored. In the end this innocent pig was shot by the parking lot behind cardboard. Do you know what happened to the corpse? Her dead body was put in a bin. The flesh of the pigs that died in the accident and those whom were killed due to being too injured to walk to the gas chamber, was considered unsuitable for human consumption.

Dib: Gah… It’s really pouring it down. You’re a real idiot for wandering around out there, considering what rain water does to you.

Zim: Be quiet! It’s not ZIM’S fault your earth weather is so unpredictable. Besides, that weather drone on the TV said it was going to be sunny today. Filthy lying weather PIG! When I am able to get out of here I will destroy him! *sips hot chocolate angrily*

Dib: … Uh huh… Well, I’m going to get more hot chocolate.

Zim: Yes… good! More hot chocolate for ZIM. *shakes the now empty mug in front of Dib’s face*

I don’t want Hillary for president because if I’m ever looking for good role models for young girls I want to say “…and this was our first female president, she tirelessly worked for equality and peace and a prosperous nation”, not “And this was our first female president, she was a vile, lying pig dog disguised as a human being.”

We're the thing that love destroys

Title: We’re the thing that love destroys
Word count: 4200
Pairing:Platonic Phan
Warnings: none apart from some swearing
Genre: fluffy angst?? Idk
Summary: Dan gets a girlfriend but Phil doesn’t like her then shit goes down

“Dan, I’m home” Phil shouted into the house struggling to close the door with his shopping bags
“we’re in here” He heard Dan call from the lounge.

He sighed as he knew the ‘We’re’ was referring to Georgia, Dan’s Girlfriend.
He walked into the kitchen and dumped the bags on the bench before walking to the lounge.

Phil walked in to see Dan and Georgia cuddled on the couch watching some stupid reality show. They both turned as Phil entered the room 
“hey” Dan said
“how was your day?” Georgia asked with her sickly sweet smile plastered on her face
“it was fine” Phil replied sitting down on the red chair.

Phil didn’t really have a reason to but he didn’t like Georgia. She was friendly and hadn’t been anything but nice to Phil since Dan introduced her. But there was something about her that just didn’t feel right she was almost too friendly and nice, it made Phil uneasy. Dan and Georgia had been dating for almost 6 months now and she made Dan happy so Phil hadn’t said anything.

After a while Phil got up and left mumbling something about editing a video, he didn’t really need to but he couldn’t stand anymore of their giggling and kissing it was just too much. He went to his room and browsed the internet for a while before drifting off to sleep.

“Dan I’m Just going to get Starbucks want one?” Phil called out from the stairs
“Yes please” Dan shouted back

Phil left the house and dawdled down the road, he wasn’t in a hurry and it was a beautiful day which was rare as they were headed into winter so he took his time and took in his surroundings. Watching the kids play in the local park whilst their mothers watched under a shaded tree nattering between them. The birds basking in the sunlight whilst it lasted, the flowers making their final appearance before they disappear for the winter. He eventually arrived at Starbucks stepping inside and immediately feeling the heat rush over him. He took off his coat and ordered two caramel macchiatos to go. He sat down at a table while he waited and pulled out his phone checking twitter and whatnot before his name was called and he collected the drinks. As he put on his coat to leave he saw Georgia sitting in one of the booths with a guy he’d never seen before. He was going to go over and say hi just to be polite but as he was heading over he saw her lean in and kiss him square on the lips. He stopped in his tracks shocked at what he saw. He quickly turned around and walked out of the shop not wanting her to see him. He started his walk home thinking about what he had just witnessed. How could she do that to Dan, just last night she was kissing Dan telling him how much she loved him. Now she’s off eating someone else’s face, who does that? Oh my god how was he going to tell Dan. Dan would be distraught, Phil knew how much Dan loved her and he couldn’t break his heart like that. But Phil now really didn’t want him dating that lying pig. 
“Ugghh” Phil sighed out loud as he realised the decision he would have to make.

By the time Phil got home he had decided not to tell Dan, he could never break Dan’s heart like that and it was only a matter of time before he found out himself anyway.
“Hey, did you get my coffee” Dan asked as Phil walked in the door
“yep here go” Phil handed him his coffee
“Thanks” Dan said appreciatively as he took a sip
“What?” Phil asks not hearing what Dan said
“I said thanks, are you alright?” you’re acting weird” Dan said placing a hand on Phil’s shoulder
“yeah I’m fine, I’m just going to go finish editing that video” Phil lied, he felt guilty but he couldn’t tell Dan.
“Okay, maybe we could watch a movie later” Dan said removing his hand
“is Georgia not coming over tonight?” Phil asked, Why did he ask that? it was the last thing he wanted to talk about with Dan, Phil mentally face palmed
“nah Georgia’s meeting up with an old school friend”
“oh okay” Phil said trying to get out of this situation as fast as possible “well yeah we can watch a movie tonight”
“cool” Dan grinned


“Time for that movie then?” Dan said turning away from his laptop as Phil walked in the room 
Phil nodded and walked over to their dvd shelf Dan following suit, they searched through the dvd’s before finally deciding on Catching Fire. Dan put the disc in and they settled down on the sofa together

The movie starting playing and they watched in silence intrigued by what was happening on the screen until about halfway when Dan spoke up
“yeah” Phil replied nonchalantly
“Next week is mine and Georgia 6 month anniversary and I’m going to take her out to dinner but I’m not sure what to buy her as a gift, I was thinking maybe a necklace or earrings”
“uh yeah a necklace would be nice” Phil forced a smile trying to look happy for him
Phil couldn’t let Dan spend hundreds of dollars on Georgia, he had to tell him. But he would be so sad Phil’s mind argued. No he was going to tell him it was going too far
“actually Dan maybe not” 
Dan gave Phil a look of confusion mixed with worry
“Why not? Do you not think she’d like it?”
“I’m sure she would Dan but there’s something I need to tell you” Dan was silent “today when I went out to get us Starbucks I saw Georgia there and she was with another guy” Dan’s face fell
“they kissed” Phil finished and moved closer to Dan wrapping his arm around Dan’s back.

Dan wasn’t crying even though he felt like he should be. He was just in shock, how could Georgia do this, they loved each other. This was bound to be a misunderstanding Georgia would never cheat she was the sweetest girl Dan ever knew. He would ask her about it tomorrow there must be a logical explanation

Dan was pulled out of his thoughts by Phil’s voice
“are you okay Dan, please answer me”
“yeah I’m fine, I’ll talk to Georgia tomorrow I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this” Dan turned back to the movie and continued watching like nothing had happened
“uhhh yeah okay” Phil said thinking he was taking this too well but just going with it


“hmmm” Georgia replied idly from next to Dan. They were on Georgia’s sofa watching evening TV like they did every Wednesday night
“I was talking to Phil and he said he saw you kissing a guy in Starbucks the other day…” Dan trailed off he felt Georgia stiffen for a second
“what the hell, I don’t even drink coffee” Georgia said sitting up and looking at Dan
“oh yeah  Phil must have made a mistake” Dan mumbled kind of scared by the look on Georgia’s face
“or he said that to try and break us up” Georgia said a glint of mischief in her eye
“why would he do that, Phil’s not that type of guy” Dan said with a look of confusion on his face
“because he likes you Dan, have you not seen the way he looks at you, it’s so obvious” She looked at Dan like he was dumb for not realising 
“um no” Dan suddenly felt very uncomfortable

Did he really? Dan never really paid attention but maybe it was obvious? Why else would Phil lie like that? I mean it is possible we’ve been living together for 4 years and he’s never had a girlfriend. It is kind of odd thinking about it.

Dan had obviously been quiet for too long by the sound of Georgia’s voice

“um hello Dan, do you want anything to eat?” she said waving her hand in front of Dan’s face trying to get his attention, not the happiest look on her face probably because Dan had been unintentionally ignoring her
“nah I’m fine”
“okay well I’m going to make popcorn be back in a sec”

Dan sat there for a while mindlessly watching some show on TV he had no interest in. he tried to focus but his mind kept wondering off to Phil. He needed time to think so he got up and headed for the door

“I’ve got to head off Georgia” he shouted into the hallway waiting for her response
“wait wait wait” Georgia came running out
“I’ll see you on Saturday then” Georgia said hanging her arms around Dan’s neck and delicately placing a kiss on his lips

Dan took the tube home, spending the entire time thinking about whether Phil actually liked him or not because Dan realised that Georgia could be lying and he didn’t know who to believe. When Dan got home he found Phil making stir fry for dinner
“I didn’t know if you’d be home or not so I made extra just in case” Phil said with a smile on his face
that was thoughtful Dan thought or more than just thoughtful, would a normal flatmate do that?
Dan forced a smile 
“thanks, but I’ve already eaten”

He hasn’t but he really didn’t want to sit through an entire meal with Phil over analysing everything he did. 
“okay then” Phil said looking disappointed
Dan went to his room and logged onto Tumblr to try and distract him from the thoughts going through his head, he had realised that one of them was lying and he really didn’t know who to believe his best friend or his girlfriend? After hours of browsing the internet and secret glasses or cereal because he didn’t eat dinner he fell asleep falling into a peaceful slumber.


The next morning he woke up and stumbled into the kitchen to find Phil making coffee
“morning, I made you coffee” 
“thanks Dan said picking up the coffee and sitting down on their couch to watch anime like they do every morning. Phil came in after him with a bowl of cereal and sat next to Dan after starting the program. Halfway through the show Phil finished his cereal, he put down his bowl and rested his head on Dan’s shoulder getting comfy. Dan stiffened for a second as he did so. Phil had done this many times before but it only just occurred to him now that it wasn’t a normal thing for two guys to do, it was more coupley. Maybe Phil did like him, he often made Dan coffee and dinner and would fall asleep on Dan when they were watching TV. He had never thought anything of it before but now it seemed odd. Georgia would fall asleep on him when they were watching TV, it’s weird that his best friend would do the same. Dan suddenly felt uncomfortable with Phil on him like he was
“um Phil I’m just going to get some water”
“oh sorry” Phil said lifting his head away
Dan quickly scampered into the kitchen. He got the water but really didn’t want to go back out there. He quickly text Georgia

*Hey babe, what are you doing*
he almost instantly got a reply
*nothing much, just woke up*
*can I come over*
*sure it’s not like anyone else is ever around here anyway*
*thanks xx*

Dan walked back into the lounge
“hey Phil Georgia needs me to help her with something so I’m just going around to hers I’ll be back late”
“oh okay see ya”


Dan arrived at Georgia’s house 30 mins later 
“door’s unlocked” he heard Georgia shout from inside as he knocked
Dan opened the door and walked in throwing his coat over the sofa and heading to Georgia’s bedroom knowing that’s where she would be. 
“Hey” he said walking in
“hey” she patted the bed next to her motioning for him to come and join her
“so why did you ask to come over?” Georgia asked “I know there was a reason because it’s not like you to do that” 
“its Phil, I’ve been thinking about what you said and I think your right. I never noticed it before but now that you’ve said it” Dan explained looking kind of sad
“it’s okay Dan I’m sure he’ll get over it at some point”
“I guess” Dan said deflated
“hey now, don’t be sad you’ve got me” Georgia said leaning over and kissing him on the lips softly
“you’re right “ Dan said cheering up a bit and kissing her again this time more passionately. They kept kissing a Dan pulled Georgia onto him so she was straddling him. 
“I Love you” Dan said breaking the kiss
“I Love you too” Georgia replied a smile on her face


On Saturday Dan turned up at Georgia’s house in a dress shirt and his usual black skinny jeans with a bouquet of flowers. It was their six month anniversary and Dan was taking her out to a lovely restaurant in the centre of London. He knocked on her door and it opened revealing Georgia in a lovely blue summer dress that fitted her shape perfectly. 
“You look amazing Georg” 
“thanks” Georgia replied blushing slightly. Dan handed her the flowers and she admired them with delight before quickly popping them in a vase before they left.

They got to the restaurant and the lady escorted them to their table that Dan reserved in a slightly more secluded area of the place. They sat down and ordered their food chatting and laughing as they waited for it to arrive. Soon it came to the end of the evening as they had just finished their desserts and felt they were going to explode from the amount of food that was now inside of them. It was now time for Dan to give Georgia her gift. He didn’t know why but he was slightly nervous, maybe it was because he wasn’t sure if she’d like the gift or not. He had bought a necklace with a silver chain and a Silver Star pendant hanging off it. He pulled the gift out of his pocket, it was wrapped in gold paper with a silver bow. 
“Happy 6 month anniversary” he said handing her the present
she delicately took off the wrapping paper and opened the box. As she saw the necklace she gasped before smiling wide
“Dan it’s beautiful”
“I’m glad you like it, here let me put it on”

Dan took the necklace from her and placed it around her neck doing up the clasp at the back
“thank you so much Dan, I love it”
“well I love you”
“aw you too” Georgia paused before carrying on “so I didn’t get you a present sorry but I was thinking, we’ve been dating for six months now and you spend a lot of time at my house anyway so what do you think about moving in?”
“of course” Dan exclaimed happily. Normally he would be worried that this was going to fast but in the last few days he’s become aware of how Phil acts around him and it makes him uncomfortable knowing Phil has feelings for him so it’d be a relief from having to be around Phil so much. 
they left the restraint happily excited for Dan moving in. they went back to Georgia’s house and unsurprisingly Dan stayed the night in his new home


“Phil” Dan said as they were eating dinner
“we need to talk”
“uh yeah” Phil turned his eyes away from the TV and fully focused on Dan quite terrified of what was going to happen next
“I talked with Georgia and I’m going to move in with her” Dan said getting straight to the point
“um okay” Phil said struggling to get a word out without his voice breaking. He couldn’t help but be upset even though he knew it would happen at some point, he’d just hoped it would be later. He was going to miss their breakfast anime sessions and late night movie marathons resulting in falling asleep on the sofa together. 
“I’ll still visit all the time and stuff” Dan said even though they both knew he was lying
“so when are you moving”
“probably next week”
“okay then” Phil said forcing a smile, he got up and cleared both his and Dan’s dishes 
after cleaning up all the dinner mess Phil went and sat in his room for the rest of the night not wanting to see Dan.


Three months later

“Hey guys” Phil heard he own voice come out of his laptop before he paused it scrolling down to the comments section. He found just what he expected the comments had been like this on all of his videos for the last few months

‘Why haven’t you made a video with Dan in ages?’

‘What happened to you and Dan?’

All the comments were just about Dan, He shut his laptop sighing. After Dan moved out he visited a few times in the first week then once the next week and then never again. They knew it would happen Phil just didn’t want to believe it. They used to be so close but as Dan and Georgia’s relationship grew theirs faltered until it broke. Now Phil doesn’t even do younows because all he can see in the chat it “GET DAN!!” And he doesn’t want to be reminded of what their friendship had become.


*alarm noises*

Dan sleepily hit his phone trying to make the noise stop even though it was the third time it had gone off and Dan knew he’d be late if he didn’t get up now. He got up and groggily threw on some clothes before leaving the house careful not to wake up Georgia.

“Stupid Peej” Dan muttered to himself as he walk to the underground. Peej was shooting a short film and asked Dan to be in it Dan said yes before knowing what time he’d have to be up which he deeply regretted.

Dan made his way to the YouTube creators space grabbing a coffee on his way. He got there 20 mins late like usual but only Peej was there yet

“Where’s everyone else?” Dan inquired
“They don’t have to be here until 8:30, I told you 8 because I knew you’d be late”
Dan groaned playfully punching Peej’s arm.
“So how are you and Phil?”
“Um I’m good not sure about Phil” Dan said, he hasn’t told Peej yet so this would be interesting
“Why not you live with him” Peej said confused
“Yeah about that, I’ve moved in with Georgia”
“But surely you still see Phil quite a bit”
“Not really actually it’s been more than a month since I have”
“What the hell Dan, you can’t just give up on your guys’ friendship. You had something special, you can’t just throw it away”
“Well I did and it’s not just my fault it’s Phil’s too” Dan said defensively walking off.

People had started arriving now so Peej began sorting everyone out. Dan looked amongst the crowd and spotted Louise so made his way over to her.

The day went smoothly after that, Dan had a minor part as did Louise and Jack so spent most of his time mucking around with them. In fact the day went so smoothly they finished 2 hours early which was great because Dan really needed a nap. He got a taxi back to his and Georgia’s place ready to get back into bed and sleep.

He opened the front door and walked into their hall. He could hear voices from their bedroom which was odd, probably just the TV though. He made his way to the bedroom and opened the door quietly in case Georgia was asleep although he doubted that. Once he opened the door he froze. Georgia was fucking some guy in their bed. That guy caught Dan’s eye and his face dropped.

“What’s the matter baby?” Georgia said in her sickly sweet voice before turning to see Dan her face mirroring that of the guy.
“You fucking lil whore” Dan said walking out if the room
“Wait” Georgia shouted getting out of bed and putting on her dressing gown following Dan
“What Georgia” Dan said exasperatedly
“I’m sorry” she said feebly
“You’re sorry? Well fuck that fixes everything, I’ll just wait till you’re finished fucking some dude then we can be a happy couple again” Dan said sarcastically
Georgia was silent not knowing what to say
“How long has this been going on?”
“About five months” Georgia said so quietly it was almost a whisper
“What was that?”
“Five months” she repeated louder
“Five months! Oh my god so Phil was right, you told me my best friend was in love with me so you could just continue fucking some guy behind my back, you’re sick Georgia”
“It wasn’t like that” Georgia tried to argue
“Wasn’t it? Cause it sure as hell seems like it” Dan said the anger building up inside of him “you know what you’re a sick little whore and I don’t want anything to do with you anymore, we’re done”
“No Dan don’t say that, we can work this out”
“Do you know how pathetic you sound right now like seriously Georgia you fucked up now deal with the consequences”
“Fine leave me, I don’t care I have Nigel anyway”
Dan laughed
“His names Nigel? oh my god, bye Georgia” Dan said leaving 


Dan walked down the road just trying to let what just happened sink it, he’d broken up with Georgia, Georgia had cheated on him, Phil was right. He was aimlessly walking but subconsciously he had ended up exactly where he needed to be but dreaded going to. Phil’s apartment. He knew he had to go apologize, as he was walking up the stairs his words from earlier echoed in his head

‘You fucked up now you have to face the consequences’

He hated his past self sometimes. Dan pressed Phil’s doorbell. His hands were sweaty and shaking. Phil answered the door

“Dan” he said surprised
Dan didn’t know what to say and the longer he was silent the more Phil’s face changed from surprise to anger
“Uh I caught Georgia cheating on me” Dan finally blurted out

All the anger washed from Phil’s face and he pulled Dan into a hug. No matter how shit Dan had been he was still Phil’s best friend and Phil hated seeing him heart broken. Phil hugging Dan was all it took for him to break down and start crying. He was angry before but now he’s realised he’s actually sad. He loved Georgia with all his heart and to find out she was cheating on him was heart shattering. Phil invited Dan upstairs and they sat on the sofa Phil still hugging Dan knowing that was exactly what he wanted right now. After a while of hugging and snuffling Phil started to get up but Dan pulled on his jumper

“No don’t leave” he said feebly
“I was just getting tissues and you a glass of water”
“Oh okay sorry”
“It’s fine Dan”

Phil walked out of the room and Dan sat there and realised he still hasn’t apologized to Phil he’d just come and cried on him which Phil accepted which Dan didn’t expect but appreciated greatly. When Phil walked back in and sat down Dan said thanks and then started his apology tears still streaming down his face but now because of what he did to Phil

“I’m so sorry Phil *sniffles* I should have believed you and I didn’t *sniffles* she told me you liked me and that scared me *sniffles* I’m so stupid *sniffles*”
“Hey now” Phil said hugging Dan again “you’re not stupid, it’s okay"
“It’s not though is it” Dan said raising his voice “I chose to believe my girlfriend over by best friend and then neglected him”
“Yeah that was kind of stupid of you but I understand, you were scared. I probably would be too if I found out you liked me. Yes you made some bad mistakes but I’m willing to forgive them”
“Of course you are my best friend, and just for the record I don’t like you romantically”
“Thank you so much Phil” Dan said hugging Phil this time “and me neither, fyi I like vagina”
Phil laughed
“I’ve missed you”
“I’m sorry” Dan apologized again “I’ll make it up to you, I promise”
“It’s okay Dan you don’t have to”
“But I want to”
“Okay then”
They were both silent for a while neither of them knowing what to say next
“I love you in a friend way” Dan finally said grinning
“I love you too in a friend way” Phil replied mirroring Dan’s expression.


*Negotiation Practice*

Spike & Jules: “Please don’t kill us!! Nooooooo!!”
Lew: “Why? What have I got to lose?”
Sam: “You sound very upset. “
Lew: “You’re damn strait I am!”
Sam: “Ok. I hear what you’re saying…”
Wordy: “Remember Sam, you’re in control. This is your negotiation.”
Sam: “What do we need to do so we can all go home?”
Lew: “You can give me what I want.”
Sam: “I’d like to try.”
Lew: “You know what I’d really like? I’d like some coke. How ‘bout that? You give me an ounce, this is over.”

*Sam turns to look at Greg and Wordy*

Lew: “Hello??”
Ed: “I’m gonna do it! Hello??”
Spike: “A little help here!? Heloooo!?”
Lew: “You’re hearin’ me but you’re not doin’ nothin’ ‘bout it!”
Ed: “He’s a lying pig!
Sam: “I’m not a liar!”
Greg: “Don’t argue, just get him back.”
Sam: “Ok look, you’re obviously very upset.”
Lew: “Yes, yes, you know what that means?”
Jules: “You know, I really wish a cop would negotiate us to safety!”
Greg: “Come on Sam, just talk to him.”
Sam: “I’m not giving you cocaine, jackass!
Ed: “Bang, bang.”
Spike (to Jules): “Jackass? Did he say jackass??”

Chapter 134: SLEEP the time AWAY

Note: Read the notes at the bottom for clarification on certain things, if anything, leave a comment or message me if something still doesn’t make sense. Remember, NO SPOILERS PLEASE, in the comments or anywhere on this account. I have not finished the novel. I stopped reading for now so I can translate. No copy/paste and all that other shenanigans either. Vote/likes are highly appreciated. :)

FINALLY, able to post it. HAPPY FRIDAY or SATURDAY ♪.*⁽⁽ ◝꒰'꒳'∗꒱◟ ₎₎₊·*

As always, THANK YOU for reading and enjoying the journey with our two IDIOT boys:




Chapter 134睡得昏天暗地 SLEEP the time AWAY

 As the sun goes down, night dropped in the room like a heavy curtain, hiding everything. The darkness that swept over this confined space swallowed every object in sight as it took control. The absence of light was so complete that, not even, the shadows survived.

And, in the darkness of this remarkable night, restlessness, lived on and squirmed it unwanted hands on Bai Luo Yin’s tense frame. Uneasiness wrapped itself securely around his seemingly broken body as he continued to tossed and turned about on the bed. Several times, his movements were so wide that it pulled Gu Hai’s right out of sleep.

With weary eyes, Gu Hai tentatively called out to Bai Luo Yin. But in the end, no matter how many times his lips sounded of those three syllables, only silence greeted him back. No sooner did he discovered that Bai Luo Yin had not awoken. Gu Hai tugged at the quilt that sheathed their two bodies in warmth, dragged it toward their shoulders and gently placed Bai Luo Yin’s exposed arm back into the quilt.

A moment later, not only did Bai Luo Yin suddenly moved again, but his eyes also shot open.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” asked Gu Hai.

Bai Luo Yin was in a complete daze. Those earthen eyes were streaked with obscurities as his hands explored and ferreted around beneath the quilt. As if afflicted by some mystery force, it searched, hunted for something.

Sleepwalking? *1

Gu Hai thought that it was a bit humorous. His hand slithered and gently alighted on Bai Luo Yin’s head before softly caressed his hair.  

A slight sense of panic and anxiousness penetrated into Bai Luo Yin’s eyes. They widened, much more than usual, so that, whoever gazed upon it, would undoubtedly be scared out of their skin.

Not soon afterwards, his once downcast head, lifted. As if spelled bound, several strands of hair flurried in the air, dancing wildly in the silence of the night before they plastered themselves on his forehead.

“Baby, what are you looking for huh?”

Gu Hai pressed lightly down on Bai Luo Yin again.

As Bai Luo Yin closed his eyes, his brows furrowed together. Those lines between his brows paralleled each other and this perpetual opposition at length created a visible inquietude, and excited a degree of impatient that induced them to separate. Induce him to wear upon his striking stature, a dazed expression.

    He mumbled a few incoherent words beneath his breath, that Gu Hai couldn’t particularly descry.

    Within seconds, his hands began to sought out, hunt again in anguish, beneath the quilt. Several times, his hands struck rather harshly at Gu Hai’s belly.

    What’s wrong with this boy today?

    Bewilderment slowly eased its way into Gu Hai’s slightly tightened chest as he felt around for Bai Luo Yin’s shoulder. As if it was second nature to him, he allowed his hand to tenderly pat down said boy’s shoulder, lightly, softly, lovingly. He prolonged this adoring movements until he felt that Bai Luo Yin, himself, had gradually calm down, even if it was just a bit.

After Gu Hai patted his shoulder a few more times, sensing that Bai Luo Yin’s breathing had slowly become a bit more even and followed in the same rhythm as his own breath, he placed his own arm back into the quilt.  

    But, unexpectedly, and to his own surprise, Bai Luo Yin’s hand latched firmly onto his hand, as if unwilling to let it go, even in his seemingly unconscious state.

    After a while, Gu Hai faced Bai Luo Yin. His eyes fluttered in the darkened room and drew in every feature that made him, Bai Luo Yin, who he was. His voice softened, almost a faint whispered, “Yin Zi, I’m right here.”

    And in that very moment, as if a promise was made, Bai Luo Yin’s body suddenly loosened. Relaxation crawled onto the tip of his toe, made its’ way pass his belly, and strutted slowly, yet surely, onto his fingertips. It was barely perceptible, as he voiced with a ‘yes,’. It was vague but it resounded in this, otherwise, quiet space. And, it was in this way that his movements ceased.

    But then, it was Gu Hai, who felt a faint throbbing in his chest. As if there were invisible strings pulling at his heart, it tightened exponentially and lingered in that state for the longest of time.

    He, undoubtedly, needed you so much…cared about you so much…

Why didn’t you feel it sooner….at an even earlier time?

If you’ve given him a bit more patience and trust, how could that course of event, that kind of pain……. that kind of suffering, happened, between the two of you?

………Gu Hai continued to harshly criticize himself.

Fortunately……luckily, he realized it now. It is not too late. They still had a long road ahead of them, one that they can walk together through. He can still love him, for a long time, for a really long time…. love him, even more than ever……

Gu Hai placed his hand against Bai Luo Yin’s warm cheeks, his fingers softly felt the smooth skin beneath, caressing it. His eyes focused devotedly, as he obsessively stared at Bai Luo Yin. He was infatuated, moonstruck, as if bewitched by some sort of magical incantation…….no matter how much or how many times he looked, he stared, it was never enough. He looked until his eyelids became heavy with sleep, until he could no longer delay drowsiness from infiltrating his mind.    


     This slumber lasted into the afternoon of the next day. It’s been a long time since either of them had a good night rest. For today, they can finally seize this great opportunity, so what else were needed to be done besides sleeping?

    Gu Hai woke up first. After he had fully awakened, he took a closer glance at the alarm and placed it back down.

    Still in a daze, Bai Luo Yin faced Gu Hai and asked him, “What time is it?”

    “It’s still quite early. Just turned four o’clock.”

    Gu Hai’s arm snaked its way into Bai Luo Yin’s armpit, grasped his back, and pulled him to toward his own body.

Bai Luo Yin’s drowsy eyes squinted as he turned and glimpsed outside before he muttered, “How can it only be four o’clock, isn’t it a bit light outside already?”

    “Maybe it snowed.”

    Once he heard the word, “snow,” Bai Luo Yin’s sleepiness immediately increased by tenfold. When it snows, that’s the best time to be sleeping. With that thought swimming around in his brain, his head fell back down onto the soft pillow, and he proceeded to sleep some more!

    Around six o’clock, Gu Hai glanced outside again. The sky was still dark! Why does it feel like we’ve slept longer than an entire night? Fuck, slept so long my stomach is crying out in hunger.

    Reluctant to give up the warmth of the quilt, Gu Hai, once again fell into a deep sleep.

    Finally, Bai Luo Yin was awoken by the need to urinate, and having no other choice, he unwillingly pulled himself out of the quilt. He sauntered lazily toward the bathroom. By the time he passed by the window again, the night sky was remained pitch blacks as it was before.

    Bai Luo Yin remembered clearly that when he went to sleep, it was only a little past one o’clock. He even remembered that he dreamt several times afterwards, so why hasn’t the sky brighten up yet? He weaseled his way back into the warm quilt, picked up the alarm and peered down on it. It was already half past eight. According to basic reasoning, the sun should have already risen. Even if it was a cloudy day, it’s not likely to be completely dark like this, right?

    An ominous premonition suddenly danced its way into Bai Luo Yin’s head as he picked up the cell and glanced down at it.

    “20:26” (8:26PM)

    Nighttime had already descended upon them again; the first round of sleep had already swiftly passed by. His eyes peered down at the pig lying beside him, completely unconscious, and unaware of even the slightest sound. This person slept more soundly and even deeper than he, himself, was. Bai Luo Yin’s head fell back onto the pillow. He clenched his teeth, as the back of his foot hit the soft bed.

    Forget it, just bare with it a bit longer.

    If he remained awake at this moment, he won’t be able to fall back asleep later. He might as well, heartlessly, without any worry at all, sleep until tomorrow morning. He must absolutely not disrupt his own biological clock work.

    In the end, it was Gu Hai who couldn’t bare it any longer. In the middle of the night, he crawled out of bed. And, just like a thief cloaked by darkness, he felt his way into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator as his eyes rummaged through it, searching for some sort of substance, but there was nothing. In desperation, he overturned everything in there and thoroughly searched with keen eyes. Finally, he found two package of noodles. He proceeded to cook it, add some seasonings and topped it off with some thinly sliced pickled mustard tuber. Within seconds, he shoved the noodles into his mouth, devouring it like a hunger stricken animal.

    Humans, once they’ve been deprived of food for a period of time and become extremely hungry, anything and everything becomes the world’s most delicious dish.

    When Bai Luo Yin made his way into the kitchen, Gu Hai was in the middle ravenously devouring the food in front of him. Gu Hai placed the last chopstick full of noodles into his mouth and slurped. He was just about to pick the bowl up and drink the soup, when he then saw Bai Luo Yin’s frame, at the doorway of the kitchen.

    Bai Luo Yin waited anxiously, a type of need scrupulously drawn in his eyes, as he stared straight at Gu Hai, “Give me a bowl.”

    Gu Hai’s Adam’s apple bobbed around for a few seconds. After what seemed like the longest time, he replied back, “There’s nothing left.”

    Bai Luo Yin choked on his own spit, tears seemingly welled up in his eyes as a painful expression wormed its’ way onto his face.

    A rather awkward smile groveled at the corner of Gu Hai’s lips, “I thought that I was the only one that was starving in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep. Probably because for the last few days, I didn’t eat anything so today my appetite suddenly came rushing back. Eating half the sticky rice dumpling didn’t really do anything for me. I…….if I’d know that you weren’t full either, I would have kept a bowl for you. The sky is about to lighten any time now. You……just endured it for a bit longer.”

    Motherfucker, I’ve fucking endured it all day already.

Clearly wounded, Bai Luo Yin’s head hung low and with a disheartened stature, he returned to the bedroom.

In the end, feeling rather guilty, Gu Hai put some clothes on and drove down several streets in the depth of the night. He searched until he eventually found a twenty-four-hour restaurant. He bought some take outs and hurried his way back to Bai Luo Yin.


    Early the next morning, or to say it more precisely, early on the morning of the third day, Gu Hai took Bai Luo Yin along with him to the army base. After sleeping for more than twenty hours, their energy has been revitalized. So much so that they both felt exceptionally animated. If they were to put on those military uniforms, and stood in procession with the troop, they would definitely not look inferior to any of those other soldiers.

    Bai Luo Yin followed Gu Hai to the military area where the dormitories were situated. On their way there, they bumped into several military veterans who all greeted Gu Hai.

One particular person intentionally came to a halt, looked at Bai Luo Yin several times and asked Gu Hai: “Who’s this?”

    Gu Hai kicked that person’s calf, and with a stern voice, he shouted at him to clear the way.

    “Why do you care who he is huh? Go do whatever it is you have to!”

That particular person’s eyes widened as he breathed cold air into his circulatory system. He even stole another glance at Bai Luo Yin as he lowered his head and took his leave.  

    Bai Luo Yin could see the strength in Gu Hai’s arrogant and despotic demeanor. He even thought that Gu Hai was intentionally displaying his own fearsomeness and reverence, in front of him. He couldn’t help but to tease, to ridicule him.

    “You’re truly fit to be the general’s son!”

    “No, that’s not it, didn’t you notice the expression in his eyes when he looked at you?” said Gu Hai calmly.

    Bai Luo Yin didn’t pay any attention whatsoever.

    Gu Hai’s hand slightly stretched out and pushed Bai Luo Yin’s head a few seconds and with the utmost meaningful and heartfelt words, he said, “Stupid boy, be a bit smarter okay. Men can change after they enter the army. Out of ten guys, there will always be one that are ‘like that’.”

    “I see! No wonder, before, you always stayed here all that time!”

    Gu Hai didn’t hear the hidden meaning behind Bai Luo Yin’s words. And he even snorted to himself, “It’s because you made me mad.”

    “I made you mad, so you ran here to find that one out of ten probability?”*2

“You fucking……” Gu Hai suddenly looked at Bai Luo Yin’s rear end and kicked it, “Besides you, I’m not even the least attracted toward any other guy.”

As the two of them bickered about, unknowingly, they finally arrived at the room that Gu Hai had previously resided.

“Come in.”

After he went in, Bai Luo Yin’s eyes swept throughout the inner surroundings of the room. He was a bit astonished, everything inside was quite neat and clean; not even a piece of crumb was on the floor. The quilt was folded neatly into a rectangular shape and the bed sheet was pulled tightly alongside the bed frame, that not even a crease could be seen.

Seeing such neatness, made him thought back to the bed in their apartment. Then, he thought back to his own family’s environment. His heart couldn’t’ help but sigh a bit.

Does this soldier style of work depend on the situation?

Gu Hai could see through Bai Luo Yin’s innermost thoughts, so he especially gave said boy a concrete explanation, “A quite diligent guard cleaned it up.”

    Bai Luo Yin thoughtfully nodded his head, an idea conjured in his mind, “How about you invite him to our house too?”

    “You dare!”

    Gu Hai picked up a gun and point it at Bai Luo Yin’s temple. But, because he didn’t know whether or not there were bullet in there, Gu Hai’s handled the cool weapon with extreme care, afraid that it might go off.

    Bai Luo Yin took the gun, laid in flat in his own hand and began to fiddle with it for a short period of time. This was the first time, in his life, that he had ever felt a real genuine gun. It was hard to avoid the excitement and the thrill that came with holding such a powerful object. He lifted it up, aimed it towards the window, and pulled the trigger.

    Only the sound of a BANG! echoed in the room.

    Spider web cracks suddenly appeared on the surface of the glass.

    At that moment, Gu Hai was in the middle of packing up his belongings and, the second he heard the sound go off, fear quickly slithered its way onto his face.

    There were actually bullets in there huh?

    Fortunately, Bai Luo Yin didn’t use him as a shooting target. That shot……was quite unexpected.

    Bai Luo Yin placed the muzzle of the gun towards himself and examined the inner details of it. This action frightened Gu Hai causing his heart to skip a beat. He hurriedly pulled out the ammunition case, before he turned to face Bai Luo Yin.

    “Firstly, don’t play with it anymore. Later, I’ll get you an even better gun. “

    “I don’t want it.” Bai Luo Yin patted down on his own legs and stood up. His eyes glanced around the room at the various items that remained still and silent.

    “Why don’t you want it?” asked Gu Hai.

    Bai Luo Yin’s puckered his lips and laughed as amusement beautifully stained his cheeks, “I’m afraid, one day when I can’t bare it any longer, I’ll shoot you.”


Author’s Note ::

*1 Sleepwalking, also known as somnambulism or noctambulism, is a sleep disorder belonging to the parasomnia family.Sleepwalking occurs during incomplete arousal in NREM sleep, predominantly during slow wave sleep (SWS). It typically occurs in the first third of the night when there is the greatest preponderance of SWS.

Sleepwalking can include simple behaviours, such as sitting up in bed and appearing awake while remaining asleep, walking around the bedroom, and more dangerous activities such as leaving the house, falling out of windows, and attacking others.

*2 Bai Luo Yin meant that, Gu Hai ran back to the army base to find that one out of ten guy that ‘like another guy.’


Are you addicted?

The original novel is written by Chai Jidan

I do not own any of its’ content

I am merely an amateur translator/editor

The Smell of Magic

So I haven’t posted anything Gravity Falls related lately. I’ve just not been feeling it. But this was almost done so I went ahead and wrote Mabel’s part up and decided to go ahead and post it. Don’t know if anything like this has been done before but I liked the idea of it. Enjoy~.



Mabel wrinkled her nose as she stepped into the attic and then abruptly grinned. “Mm, cinnamon.” She chirped.

“Wha-seriously?” Dipper asked, sounding incredulous from his spot on the floor. He was surrounded by candles, all spread out in a neat and orderly circle around him. They provided the only light in the room but somehow, it seemed bright in there, and something about the air felt cleaner then it had before. “Does it really smell like cinnamon?” Dipper whined as Mabel carefully skipped around the candles, at one point cartwheeling over one while Dipper made a choked screeching sound.

“Yep,” the female twin replied, finishing her cartwheel and landing on her bed with a thump. Waddles wiggled over from the end where’d he previously been watching Dipper and curled up on her stomach. “Are those candles cinnamon scented or something?”

Dipped frowned. “No, they’re scentless which are weirdly hard to find for some reason.”

Grin widening, Mabel rolled Waddles off her stomach and sat up. “Have you been using my lotion again?” She asked slyly, “trying to impress Weeeendyyy?”

“No!” Dipper denied immediately, voice cracking and squeaking and causing his twin to snort. A ruddy blush spread across his cheeks and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Shut up,” he grumbled with a pout, “I was just trying out this purification ritual I found.”

“Ooooh.” Mabel cooed sounding appropriately awed. “What’s it do?”

“Um, well it’s supposed to bring good energy and fortune and stuff like that.” The boy mumbled. “Nothing fancy, I didn’t want to try anything big in case I messed up.”

“Neat!” The long haired brunette launched herself off the bed and landed in a sprawl next to Dipper. She grinned up at him. “So magic smells like cinnamon!”

“What? No it,” the boy trailed off, “okay maybe it does.”

“Ha, cinnamon.” Mabel laughed poking him in the stomach causing Dipper to grunt and curl into a ball to get away from his twin’s poking.

“Ma-” poke, “Mabel cut it,” poke, “hmnnn,” the boy whined in defeat, clutching at his hat and frowning.

“So now that our room smells better,” Dipper’s frown deepened, “we should totally summon a unicorn.”

“What?” Dipper shot her an incredulous look whilst smacking her hands away once again. “Mabel no, we’re not summoning anything. That’s dangerous, you remember Bill right? Bill Cipher, the powerful demon that broke into Gruncle Stan’s mind and took over my body?”

Mabel shrugged with a grin. “You looked good in the priest outfit.”

Dipped grinned at her. “Really? You think Wendy noticed?” Mabel made a weird face and waved her hand vaguely. “Right, never mind thats not the point.” Dipper’s serious frown fell back into place as he stood up. “Summoning anything in Gravity Falls is a bad idea and we’re not doing it.”

“Blargh.” His sister complained, sprawling out spread eagle. “Fine, no magic summoning fun times.”

“Thank you.” Dipper sighed and began gathering up the candles and putting them out. “Could you get the lights?”

“This looks like a job for-”

“Without the grappling hook?” Her twin stressed shooting her an amused look.

Mabel sat up with a huff and shuffled over to the light switch. “You never let me have any fun.” She grumbled.


“Why is pudding so awesome?” Mabel sighed as she shoved another spoonful of strawberry, banana, cotton candy pudding into her mouth, gleefully crunching up the colorful sprinkles.

Her twin shrugged, not bothering to answer as he himself was absorbed in eating his much more average bowl of chocolate pudding. “I wonder why someone decided to open a pudding shop.” He said after a moment.

Mabel’s hand smacked over his mouth causing the boy to stop walking, lest he stumble. “Don’t question greatness.” She whispered seriously.

Dipper laughed as he smacked her hand away. “Cut it out, and you’ve gotta admit that it’s weird.” The long haired brunette shoved her spoon into her mouth and then made a wide, sweeping motion with her arm, gesturing to the town at large. Dipper looked around and then nodded in agreement. “Okay true, its Gravity Falls.”

Mabel laughed but then abruptly cut herself off with a loud gagging noise. “Guh!” She exclaimed, her free hand coming up to cover her nose. Dipper raised an eyebrow at her.

“You okay there?” He asked sounding a little wary and a lot amused. Mabel’s face scrunched up in disgust.

Mabel replied by making a retching noise and coughing. “Blargh, what smells like rotting meat and burnt candy?”

“What?” Dipper asked incredulously as he sniffed the air. He quickly blanched and dropped his pudding, smacking both hands over his nose. “Oh gross!” The boy exclaimed. “What is that?!”

Just as he got the words out a column of light appeared the next street over, followed by a ground shaking roar and a very distinctly familiar laugh.

Mabel’s eyes narrowed. “Gideon.” She swore in a slightly more nasally tone then usual. The twins turned to each other and with a determined look on his face, Dipper pulled out his journal.

The door to the Mystery Shack burst open and two tired and bruised twelve year olds stumbled in. “That sucked.” Dipper proclaimed vehemently, getting all the way to the counter before he gave up and leaned against it. Mabel didn’t even get that far, instead just dropping to the floor with a groan.

“Tireeed.” She whined miserably. Oinking curiously at the sight of Mabel on the floor, Waddles wandered over and nudged her with his snout. Lazily, Mabel wrapped her arms around him and rolled over so she was lying on his back. “Pig pillow.”

“Whoa,” Wendy leaned over the counter to look at the two of them, “what happened to you guys?”

“Gideon.” Dipper replied with a tiny frown. Mabel grunted at the sound of the blonde boy’s name but made no move to get up.

The redhead’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Seriously? Wasn’t he in jail?”

“He got out.” Dipper explained as he began to slide down the counter. “Got out, and unleashed a giant Gremoblin in the middle of town.”

Mabel shuddered, tightening her grip on Waddles. “So many mirrors.”

Wendy winced. “Yikes, is everything over now or are you looking for reinforcements?”

“It’s over.” The younger twin assured, curling his knees against his chest. “Gideon got away but right now I honestly don’t care.”

Just then, Stan came pushing into the shop. “Soos, I need you to-” he cut himself off as he caught sight of his great niece and nephew. “Geez kids, what bus ran you over?”

“Gideon,” muttered Wendy and the twins in perfect unison.

Stan scowled in contempt. “That little weasel broke out of jail?” He questioned walking over to Mabel and scooping her up. The girl made no protest and instead groaned in relief and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Broke out, and tried to kill us,” Dipper muttered and then corrected, “tried to kill me. He tried to marry Mabel.”

“Creeeep.” Mabel moaned into Stan’s shirt as the man picked up Dipper. Dipper made a startled noise and his hands dug into his Gruncle’s jacket.

“Wha-Gruncle Stan I can walk.” He protested as he and Mabel were carried out of the shop section of the shack. Behind them Wendy was smiling in amusement and with a short oink, Waddles began pattering along.

“Sure you can kid.” The conman agreed sounding as if he didn’t believe him even the slightest bit. “Shut up and let me fix the two of you up a little.


Dipper and Mabel watched in interest as Stan finished etching out quick, yet precise symbols on their arms. The man had carried them into the break room and set them down on the couch before leaving briefly. He came back with some sort of liquid in a jar that had several odd smelling bits and pieces mixed inside. "Don’t ask what’s in it.” Stan told them seriously. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.” He then processed to use said liquid to draw on them.

“Sooo,” Mabel mumbled sleepily, her head propped against Dipper’s shoulder. “What’s happening?”

“Healing spell.” Stan replied simply as he placed one hand over each of their arms. Before either of them could question him about that, light and heat flared up under his palms, bathing the room in a warm greenish color.

The twins sucked in quick breaths as a smell clouded the room along with the light. A smell like coffee and old books and something that seemed to be wholly like, protection.

It was somehow both startling and comforting at the same time.

And then it was gone and Stan was moving his hands, standing from his kneeling position as he did. “There,” he ruffled there hair with a grin. “Now don’t say I never did anything for ya.” It was then that the twins noticed something, they were healed. All their little bruises and scrapes and injuries were gone, replaced with a faint warmth and a lingering contentment.

“Whoa.” Mabel breathed, her eyes wide.

“You can do magic?” Her brother asked dumbly and Stan snorted, pulling the rim of Dipper’s cap down over his eyes.

“Go get some sleep.” He ordered turning around and leaving the room. “If I see either of you in the shop for the rest of the day you’re grounded.”

And then he was gone, leaving Mabel and Dipper alone in the break room. Well, aside from Waddles who was happily rolling around on the floor in a sunbeam.

“That was pretty cool.” Dipper said at length.

“Agreed.” Mabel then flopped across his lap. “I need sleep, carry me.”

Dipper laughed and shoved her hair into her face.

“So maybe magic doesn’t just smell like cinnamon.” Mabel commented from her place, cocooned in a fortress of blankets and stuffed animals on her bed. They’d just woken up from a five hour long nap but were still too tired to try getting out of bed.

Dipper opened one eye to stare at her from across the room. “Are you thinking about the thing with Gruncle Stan?” He muttered.

She nodded and it sent a chain reaction of movement through her stuffed animals. “Yeah, that and Gideon.”

“Gideon.” Dipper grumbled grumpily, fist clenching. He then frowned. “Wait Gideon?”

“Duh. Don’t you remember the smell?” She questioned.

Light dawned on the male twin’s face. “Oh yeah.” He grimaced. “Like rotting meat.”

“And burnt candy.” Mabel added as if that made all the difference. Which is probably did considering it was Mabel. “So basically he smelled like evil.”

“Gruncle Stan smelled like-” Dipper trailed off as he realized he was talking and blushed in embarrassment, covering his head with his blanket.

Mabel grinned at him. “Coffee and old books and protection.” She chirped, unembarrassed to admit how comforting it had felt to feel her great uncle’s magic washing across her skin and taking the pain away. “It was nice.”

Dipped mumbled something incomprehensible under his blanket and she laughed. “You look like a blanket monster.” She teased and only laughed more when his head popped out to scowl at her.

“Shut up.” He grumbled tossing a pillow at her. It smacked her in the face and she laughed, hugging it tight. Dipped rolled his eyes at his twin’s antics and then frowned. “So what does this mean?”

“Huh?” Mabel’s eyes popped out from over his pillow and he raised any eyebrow.

“Smelling magic.” He explained. “We never could before and Gravity Falls is full of it.”

“You’re full of it.” Mabel replied cheerfully.

“Mabel,” he groaned, too tired to be annoyed, “this is serious.”

“No it’s not,” Mabel cooed back sitting up, pillow still clutched to her chest. “So we can smell magic now. Big whoop. Seems pretty neat so far.” Her eyes suddenly blew wide. “You think this means I can summon a unicorn now?!”

Dipper laughed despite himself. “Will you cut it out with the unicorn?”

“Never!” The long haired twin declared bravely and tossed Dipper’s pillow back at him. It smacked him in the arm and he grinned mischievously as he rolled out of  bed, another pillow in hand.

“Oh, it’s on now.”  Mabel grinned and grabbed two pillows of her own, standing on her bed with a squeak of the mattress springs.

“Bring it on!”

The two quickly forgot about all thoughts of magic and smells after that.

For now at least.


The smell of lightening crackled through the air. It was a scent akin to ozone, a dangerous and powerful scent that sent the hairs on the back of Dipper’s neck twitching up. Put him on edge in a way he couldn’t explain, not even to Mabel.

“Sheesh kid,” his captor snorted twirling his cane around languidly. “Glare at the floor a little harder why don’t ya?” Dipper flinched but didn’t look up, bound as he was in a circle of blue fire (and why did fire smell like lightening) and hovering just high enough off the ground to really hurt if the demon decided to drop him, he couldn’t dare to. Bill snorted and the tip of his cane smacked lightly against the frowning child’s cheek. “Don’t be like that kid, we’re all friends here ” There was a pause and a snicker. “Well, okay we’re not but hey! Be useful enough and I’ll let you keep your nose!”

Dipper went ever tenser at that and despite himself couldn’t resist glaring at the demon. Said demon grinned at him with far too human lips (since when had Cipher had a human body anyway) and looked strangely pleased. “There you are Pine Tree, I was wondering if you were still in there.“

"What do you want Bill.” Dipper replied coldly. If he was after the journal again, he was going to be in for one heck of a fight.

Bill snorted. “Don’t be dramatic kid, I’m not here for the journal this time.” Dipper blinked in shock and the demon rolled his eyes leaning to the side to rest his weight lazily on his cane, grinning all the while. “No, no, I’m actually here for you this time!”

The brunette opened his mouth to snap out a retort only for it to slip closed. “I-what?”

“Yep!” Bill waved his free hand exuberantly. “Surprise! Aren’t you special kid?” The cane floated in place as its owner reached up to adjust his now tie pompously. “The almighty and powerful Bill Cipher taking time out of his incredibly busy schedule just for you, and your sister.”

Dipper bristled. “You stay away from-” he gagged and instead of a threat a lizard dropped out of his mouth. It fell to the ground, wiggled about and then scurried off into the brush while Dipper looked on in nauseated horror.

“Don’t get your pine needles in a twist kid.” Bill drawled looking somewhere between amused and annoyed. “You’re here aren’t you? Which means Shooting Star is tucked away safe and sound in the Mystery Hole. Whoop de do.”

The boy frowned, now he was just confused. “Then why did you bring her up?”

Bill’s bored expression brightened back into its previous joy. “I’m glad you asked!” He chirped grabbing up his cane again. He twirled it like a baton before shooting the end of it towards Dipper’s face. The boy reared back as the tip came to a stop mere centimeters from his nose. “I hear you kids have recently come into a bit of,” he waved the cane which Dipper eyed wearily, “power.”

“Power?” The brunette repeated slowly.

“Yeah, power. You know.” The cane was removed as Cipher began gesturing about with his hands. “Abilities, gifts, skills not of this earthly realm.” He ticked up his eyebrow in a wry look. “I’m talkin magic here Pine Tree.”

“What?” Dipper blinked rapidly before beginning to look annoyed. “Magic? Look just because I tried out one purification ritual doesn’t mean-”

“I’m not talking about the ritual boy!” Bill snapped and the the fire around Dipper flared red in time with the demon’s eye before cooling back into a merrily flickering blue. Dipper froze, looking frightened while Bill smoothed his face back into a pleasant smile. “I’m talking about, the smells.”

“Smells.” The child croaked not daring to speak much louder then that and Bill hummed in pleased agreement.

“That’s right Pine Tree.” He purred in an oddly catlike way. “What do you smell right now?” Dipper tried not to think about the smell of electricity, or lightning and ozone and pure tongue tingling power dancing through the air. By the way Bill’s expression curled into an awful, smug smirk he hadn’t succeeded.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He remarked, a strangely covetous gleam in his eye. “That’s why you’re coming with me kid.”

“What?!” Dipper shrieked struggling against the fire that trapped him there. Screw the drop there was no way he was going anywhere with the psychotic demon!

“What’s wrong Pine Tree?” Bill snickered, watching his efforts with amusement. “Don’t you wanna work for me?”

“Don’t you need to make a deal to steal someone?!” The brunette screeched back in an accusatory panic.

The demon shrugged. “Well I really should, a deal would make your servitude to me stronger, really solidify your devotion you know?” He grinned at the horrified look on Dipper’s face. “But it’s not really necessary, and I can just keep you locked away somewhere until you’re really loyal anyway. Besides, no point in risking you wiggling out of it. Not after the last deal I made with you.”

Dipper gaped at him incredulously, heart pounding loudly in his ears. “You tricked me and stole my body!”

“Yes I did!” The demon agreed cheerfully. “And oh look,” he spread his hands in a shrug, “I’m doing it again! Only I guess this is more like kidnapping isn’t it?” He frowned, pondering the semantics before grinning again.

“Oh well, it doesn’t matter. I found you, I’m taking you, you’re mine! In the end that’s all that matters isn’t it?!” Dipper grunted and kicked his feet out in an attempt hit the demon. Said demon tilted his torso back with a laugh. “Don’t be so glum kiddo, once I have you all safe and secure I’ll grab Shooting Star too so you won’t be lonely for long.” His grin was suddenly wicked. “They say it’s best to raise humans in pairs after all, something about company being better for their health blah blah blah.”

“You’re a monster.” Dipper spat, helpless tears welling in his eyes.

Bill just grinned at him, a little wider a little more covetous and a lot more vicious. “You better believe it Pine Tree.”


Mabel slunk through the trees, the journal clutched in one hand and her grappling hook held in the other. Her expression was one of fixed determination. Dipper was missing, had been gone for hours on end when he’d only been heading out into the woods to check on the authors lab again. The fact that a trip that should’ve only taken him half an hour at the most was now stretching into three whole ones had every protective instinct inside of her screaming to go find him. Which was how she found herself standing at the edge of a clearing, staring up in horror as Bill taunted and cooed to her twin who looked increasingly more frightened with every word.

Just as he was stroking the smaller brunette’s cheek, eye narrowed and flickering between red and blue she bristled and raised her grappling hook. She was angry, so angry it burned through her like hot caramel had replaced all the blood in her veins. And all she wanted to do was hurt Bill and get him away from her brother, her Dipper, her best friend in the whole world. She didn’t notice the crackling power floating about her as she took aim, sweetly scented like cotton candy, she didn’t need to. All she noticed was that when her grappling hook his Bill he screamed in pain, body convulsing even as the hook fell to the ground. He lost control of the fire and Dipper fell along with it, yelling in terror.

”Dipper!” Mabel cried, rushing towards her brother and skidding under him. He landed on her and they both grunted in pain at the force of the impact but it hurt both of them less then Dipper’s fall would’ve without her. Immediately they grabbed each other, curling tight around themselves for a moment before stumbling to their feet. Just in time for Bill had stopped screaming and was now panting harshly, red fire burning around him, eye wide and angry.

”Shooting Star.” He hissed, raising his hands with a crackle of lightening and ozone. “You reaaally shouldn’t have done that girl.”

Mabel gulped but put on a brave front even as Dipper pushed her behind him, glaring back up at Bill. “Don’t you touch her!” He shouted, one hand wrapped firmly around her wrist like he was afraid Bill would snatch her right out of his hands.

Bill sneered, “or what Pine Tree, you’ll light a candle at me?” He flicked his hand and Dipper choked, dropping to his knees and grabbing his throat with panicked eyes. “You kids may be powerful but you have no idea how to control that power yet.” His face morphed into a sickly looking grin and he dropped a little closer to them. “But hey, I can be a good guy. You come with me Pine Tree, quietly, no fuss or fight, and I won’t punish Shooting Star for her little-” his angry red eye moved to look at Mabel, “stunt.”

Mabel tensed and glared. “Or,” she said raising her grappling hook threateningly, with more confidence then she felt. “You leave us alone and go away and I don’t hit you with my grappling hook again.”

Bill actually tensed at the threat and his single eye narrowed on her. “You couldn’t do that twice,” he said slowly though his words were wary, “you don’t have a clue what you’re doing Shooting Star.”

”I don’t know,” she hefted the hooked device consideringly, eyes cold. She focused on that same protective burn from before and this time she did smell the sweet scent of cotton candy. So did Bill apparently for he tensed even further. “I think i’m starting to get the hang of it.”

They glared at each other in tense silence for a moment, neither of them willing to back down as Dipper gasped desperately on his knees between them. Finally the fire dulled to blue and Bill grinned.“Oooh, i’m gonna have fun training you two.” He cooed excitedly. “But for now,” with a snap of his fingers Dipper finally drew in a breath of air and collapsed to the ground, Mabel followed him, hands roving over him worriedly as Bill snickered. “For now I’ll let you two go, you’re easy enough to find anyway and hey,” he grinned as he floated back up into the air, and it was a purely demonic and covetous thing, “it wouldn’t be any fun if I didn’t get to break you first, now would it?”

Both twins shivered and he laughed, taking off his top hat and bowing. “See you later saplings~!” He trilled before disappearing with a loud bang and a rain of snakes.

In his wake they both glared up at the sky for a moment before finally Mabel stood, helping Dipper slowly to his feet. He wobbled briefly and the long haired twin wrapped his arm around her shoulders, offering silent support that had him grinning at her. “Thanks Mabel, for saving me I mean.”

Mabel grinned back at him as they began to walk. “Don’t mention it bro bro, you would’ve done the same for me.”

Dipper nodded because it was true, he would do anything for Mabel. “Hey,” he said, “how’d you do that thing with your grappling hook?”

Her grin widened and cheerfully she replied, “I have no idea!”

”Wha-” Dipper sputtered looking horrified, “so you were bluffing?”

”Yep!” Mabel chirped again, before her smile dimmed a bit. “Well, mostly. I think it had something to do with how badly I wanted to protect you. I just focused really hard on wanting to save you and hurt Bill and then Bill was in pain and you were with me.”

Dipper blinked at her, feeling a little touched that his sister felt that strongly about wanting to protect him. “We’re going to have to look into this.”

The long haired twin groaned, head tilting back in fake agony. “To the library?” She asked pathetically.

”To the library.” Dipper agreed, amused despite himself. “We need to make sure that whatever you did, we can both do it and tenfold. I don’t think Bill’s going to give up.”

She shuddered at that, remembering that horrible wanting look on the demon’s face. “Me neither.” Mabel mumbled and then she was grinning again. “Doesn’t matter, we can take him,” her grin was turned on Dipper, bright and determined and full of fire, “together.”

After a moment, he couldn’t help but grin back, Mabel’s positive attitude was always so infectious. He didn’t know what he’d do without her. “Yeah,” he agreed, tugging her a little closer, “together.”

He didn’t know what sort of powers these were or what Bill wanted from them, but so long as he had Mabel by his side, he could handle it.

Bill wouldn’t know what hit him.