If Touka is abusive, then what is Kaneki?
Remember what happened the last time he and Tsukiyama met? He beat the shit out of him and left him there, lying and bleeding on the ground, when he could have just knocked him unconscious instead. Or what he did to Ayato–a 14 year old boy–after he beat up Touka? He tortured him. Broke 103 of his bones. He took Hinami with him, not giving a shit about her safety or Touka’s feelings, even though Touka loves her like a sister and fears nothing more than abandonment/losing the people dear to her. He attacked and injured Banjou (and Yomo in the anime I think). If Touka hadn’t stopped him after the fight with Nishiki, he would have killed and eaten Hide. And yeah, I’m aware he wasn’t really himself back then, but still? That is not the base of a healthy friend/relationship? Not to mention, it happened again at the end of the manga, and it seems like no one was there to stop him.
Kaneki is dangerous and unpredictable. His relationship with Hide is toxic and anything but healthy–like (almost) any other relationship in Tokyo Ghoul–and he knows it. In fact, I’m pretty sure they both do.
Yet for some reason, everyone has a problem with Kaneki and Touka’s relationship because of how she treated him. Touka (a 16!!! year!!! old!!! girl!!!!) who, since she didn’t know how to reach out to and make someone important to her aware of their selfish and self-destructive behavior, felt so helpless, she snapped, is considered abusive. Whereas characters like Kaneki, Nishiki, Uta and Tsukiyama–grown-ups–who have done worse things to the people close to them, are praised because of their tragic backstories. Despite the fact that Touka has a very tragic backstory herself.
Like, you can’t tell me this has nothing to do with her being a girl when everyone worships male characters for the same reason they despise her.
Take Ayato for example. His and Touka’s personalities are obviously very similar; they’re both short-tempered, stubborn, aggressive and have a cocky attitude. Except, Ayato is worse than her. In every aspect.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love Ayato just as much as I love Touka, but I don’t think it’s fair that he gets praised for the same shit Touka gets hated on.
Ayato and Hinami’s current situation mirrors Kaneki and Touka’s when he was kidnapped by Aogiri. Ayato is slowly growing as a character, starting to care about others and maturing the same way Touka did, so why is he so loved while Touka constantly gets bashed by the fandom?
There are two simple answers to that question:
1. The shippers feel threatened.
Unfortunately, we live in very a hetero-normative world. Tokyo Ghoul is neither shonen ai nor yaoi. It is seinen. So while same sex relationships might be addressed and represented throughout the story (God bless Ishida Sui), if anything, we can assume that the main (male) character won’t end up in a relationship with his best guy friend, but rather with the main female character instead. Whether this is the case in TG or not, we don’t know yet, but the possibility seems likely.
2. The female audience/readers feel threatened.
I don’t know what it is that makes young girls despise strong, relatable and well-written female characters so much. Or actually, I do. Girls are taught to shame and compete with each other from a very young age, so as soon as a strong female character appears, they feel threatened because they believe said character raises the expectations and puts more pressure on them, which may or may not be true, depending on who they surround themselves with.
To be fair, sometimes you just don’t like a character regardless of how well-written or relatable they are, but the difference between disliking and hating a character, is that you usually don’t waste your time talking about or bashing someone you don’t like. Unless you are jealous or feel threatened by them.