lunch in a cup!

welcome to the after party
where the girls are lost and the boys are pretty

where the hours are long and the night is old
where gods become men in the neon glow

leave your wings and halo before you come in
down here, we’re only interested in your sins
—  welcome to the after ( under ) party | l.x.

Special Agent Dale Cooper’s Daily Routine

  • 5am- rise
  • 5:07am- coffee
  • 5:15am- meditate
  • 5:30am- exercise, shower, consume “shower coffee”
  • 5:55am - eats powdered donut
  • 6:05am- meets Albert for breakfast. Consumes 3 coffees, 1 orange juice, 8 pancakes, 6 slices of charred bacon, 3 pieces of ham, 2 eggs over hard, all smothered in maple syrup.
  • 6:55am- pays bill and gets coffee for the road.
  • 7:15am- arrives at Twin Peaks Sheriffs Station, immediately consumes 4 jelly donuts and 3 coffees.
  • 12pm- Lunch at the RR Diner.  Turkey sandwich on whole grain bread, fries, endless cup of coffee, 2 slices of cherry pie, 1 slice of huckleberry pie, 3 scoops vanilla ice cream, 2 chocolate milk shakes.
  • 12:50- Driving to crime scene, eats a “road donut.”
  • 12:55- tastes cocaine found at crime scene.  Washes it down with some coffee. Tastes baby laxative just to make sure the cocaine is cocaine.
  • 1:00-2:00pm- Uses bathroom for full hour.
  • 2:05pm- coffee, old-fashioned donut.
  • 2:35pm- meeting at The Roadhouse.  Eats peanuts, drinks 1 Black Yukon Sucker Punch.  
  • 3:00- Coffee
  • 3:05- Donut
  • 3:10- Coffee
  • 3:12- Donut
  • 5:30- Dinner back at RR Diner.  Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, 2 whole cherry pies with vanilla ice cream ordered one slice at a time.  Coffee.
  • 6:30pm- chews 7 sticks of gum.
  • 6:45pm- Donut
  • 7:00pm- After dinner beer and peanuts at The Roadhouse.
  • 8:15pm- Relaxes in lounge of The Great Northern with 2 coffees and 4 glasses of milk.
  • 9:00 pm- In bed with “nightstand pie” and glass of warm milk.
  • 10:07pm- Wakes up and runs to bathroom.  Doesn’t come out for a full hour.
  • 11:15pm- Back to bed.  Insane levels of sugar and caffeine intake cause vivid hallucinations of dancing dwarves and clue giving giants.
  • 1:00am- Wakes up from caffeinated sugar psychosis to call Sheriff Truman saying he’s solved the crime.
  • 1:05am- Falls asleep, forgets he solved the crime.
ADHD Gothic #1

- it is morning and you have decided that today is the day, today is going to be the day that you quite your life and stay in bed forever. 15 minutes later you arrive at work half an hour late.

- the drive from your house to school takes 18 minutes. you leave 25 minutes early. you still arrive at class 36 minutes late. 

- you don’t sleep at night and your doctor recommends less coffee. but you can’t do it. you drink 5 cups of coffee after lunch, then take a nap for 3 hours. you don’t sleep tonight.

- the chairs in the lecture hall are older then time itself. they squeak when you move. you start to bounce your leg. everyone in the room turns and glares, but you can’t stop. your professor gives you an F. your leg continues to bounce.

- your mom calls to tell you how proud she is of you. your dad sends you an email about how proud he is of you. you start to wonder what you did wrong. but then you realize that it’s your birthday. you are twenty-six today. you could have sworn you turned 15 last year.

- your stomach growls. you haven’t eaten in 72 hours. you decide to eat but then can’t think of anything to make. you end up drinking another red bull. your stomach growls again.

- you texted your friend an hour ago and she still hasn’t replied. you are halfway through digging yourself a grave when she texts back. you realize that you sent the first text only 3 minutes ago. you put the shovel down and meet her for coffee, happy and content with life once again.

- it is morning. you want to die. your brain screams for sleep, and you surrender yourself to the blankets.

- you are Bored. but thinking of something to do is too boring, so you continue to stare at the wall. you wonder if anyone has ever died of boredom.

- ABC’s by the Jackson 5 is stuck in your head. it has been stuck in your head for 2 years now. it will not go away. every song is tainted, because all you hear is baby Michael Jackson’s voice.

- you feel like you are forgetting something, so you go to your desk to look at your reminders. the desk is covered with sticky notes. you can’t remember what color your desk is, because the sticky notes keep multiplying. you pick one up. every single sticky note says the same thing: DON’T FORGET THE THING. you wonder who is doing this to you

- the second hand moves. you can hear it. you glare at the clock. it ticks again.

- you wonder why your emotions are out of control. you’re frustrated with yourself, because you have no motivation. people are always telling you to pay attention. you wonder what is wrong with you, but then the realization hits you: you have ADHD. you have always had ADHD. you take medication for your ADHD. that is why you are having these issues. The next day, you forget again.


stay tuned for ADHD Gothic #2

Lance is a Boy #1

Keith vaulted over a fallen tree, running as fast as he could through a dense jungle, thanking allura for making paladin armour so aerodynamic. There was a swift movement beside him as a lanky figure pushed ahead “Lance.” Keith hissed and pushed himself a little bit harder.
“Hurry up pretty boy! Or you’re lunch!” Keith’s eyes rolled as Lance cupped his mouth with his hands while running to deliver the sound over to Keith. It was more than unfortunate that in this second of diversion, Lance tripped over a tree root and face planted, letting his body roll with the momentum. Keith pushed his feet into the ground to stop as quickly as possible, he still had to run back a few paces to stop by Lance. The ground absorbed a groan from the blue paladin.
“Lance come on we need to go. Now.” Keith’s voice was urgent and persistent. “Please get up.” Keith’s hands wrapped around Lances bicep and he pulled, making Lance stagger to his feet. A dark red liquid stained his chest and Lance had drawn his hand up to his nose, pulling it away slightly and frowning.
“Ah quiznak.” The only words Lance left behind as they took off running again. Large stomps were suddenly eerily loud and very apparent behind them as they took long strides, staying closer together. It wasn’t long before their calves burned and the boys looked for any kind of checkpoint. Eventually they both dived past a large, off looking tree with high hopes. A long second passed,

then a loud buzzer went off.

“Simulation end!” A calm voice rang through an intercom, Allura. “Very good boys!”

“Really?” Keith’s voice was hopeful.

“Well… no, not really, but better! You both learned this time and took the wise route and ran, a wise altean once said ‘a brave person will fight relentlessly, a wise person will know when to fight another day.’, I’m impressed you chose to flee.” She walked through the door onto the training deck, her voice fading from the intercom. “Lance are you ok?”

“Better now that you’re here my princess” he winked and put his hand on his hip, clicking his tongue seductively, normally this would be as smooth as ever but with one hand pinching a dripping nose bleed, not so much. “Yknow my princess doesn’t really roll off the tongue, how about my everything instead?” It had only been about two days since Coran and Allura were awoken and Lance had flown in blue to the castle of lions, and he was still trying to get with allura, of course, to no avail.

Rolling her eyes, Allura turned to Keith “I’m glad you waited for him, I saw the hesitation in your eyes as he fell, you did the right thing and theoretically saved your friends life.”

“Wait wait wait, mullet hesitated!? Keith!” A swift (but gentle) smack on his shoulder made Keith smile.
“Lance I don’t think there’s a soul in this universe that wouldn’t have.”

Allura put a gentle hand on Lances shoulder “go see coran, get yourself set up in a health pod, he’ll need all of your information and then you’re set, that nose bleed, and whatever other damage, will be dealt with.” She smiled and turned to walk out, Keith following close behind.

Lance walked throughout the castle, his nose pinched and his mind starting to wonder. “Who knew finding an old man in a castle would be so hard…” as if summoned, Coran suddenly dropped from the ceiling and clanged to the floor. “AGH!” Lance jumped into an immediately defensive stance. “Coran?”

Other than looking slightly dirty, coran was intact and smiled warmly at Lance “sorry my boy! Was just cleaning out the vents, 10 000 years worth of dust, someone had to do it”

“There are vents? On a space ship?” Lance looked doubtfully at the orange haired man.

“Well, yes, they can be cut off but with them it keeps the airflow more consistent.” Lance shrugged and explained what had happened, as coran lead them to the room with the pods, they talked more and more about how advanced the ship was and reasoning for a lot of design choices.

“All right, Lance! I’ll need to ask you a couple questions to set up a basic data base and ID for you in a pod so it can optimize heal time.” Lances nose had stopped bleeding but he was pretty sure it was broke so he obliged.

“Fair enough, fire away.”

“Full name?”

“Lance Charles McClain.” He smiled, remembering his dad, Charles McClain, a nice, respectable man, he was named after him. Coran typed away happily, supposedly coding the system with Lances information.

“Height and weight?”

“5 feet and 9 inches, 130 pounds.”

“Sexual activities?”

“Woah Coran at least buy me dinner first.” Lance smirked and Coran tried not to but the corners of his moustache rose a little. “Currently not active.” He said, not ashamed of himself in the slightest.

“Ok last one, this ones easy, biological sex?”

Lance was about to answer but paused, thinking it over for a second, his answer was lower than usual and he looked down.

“female.”

To be continUED…

bad | 01

 He was the cliché bad boy. He was the guy you couldn’t stand. He was the handsome, hot kid who made girls go weak in the knees. He was a brat. You had never liked him one bit, but you had also never gotten involved with anything concerning him. Until one day, when you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Originally posted by thesoshisone

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader

GENRE: romance, smutish, fluff

WORDS: 2 506

WARNINGS: badboy!jungkook, cussing, mature

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07coming soon

A/N: if people like this, I’ll make another part. it won’t be a long series, though. this will probably be cliché af. but please, pretty pretty pretty please tell me what you think. THANKS.

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I Think I’m Yours

Request: “Eye colour Soulmate AU (where people are born with heterochromatic eyes, and they only revert to their genetically inherited colour when they interact with their soulmate.)”

Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader

Word Count: 1028

Warnings: None

Originally posted by crazy-vibes-under-the-moon


Newt sifted through his writing, letting out a long, tired sigh as he looked for a certain paragraph that he had forgotten to edit. His eyes, one blue and one green, flitted across the pages lazily, only half-heartedly putting effort into the search.  

“Newt!” A voice called. “Order for Newt!”

He jumped to his feet, running a hand over his face in an attempt to push away the creeping tiredness. Editing his manuscript was such a monotonous job that even now, in the early hours of the afternoon, he longed for his bed. He came before the little lady who held out the paper bag containing his lunch and a cup of coffee. She looked up to him, doing a double take as she spotted his eyes. Then she cast a sorry gaze upon him, a sad smile tugging at her lips. Newt took the meal, ashamedly hanging his head lower as he walked back to his table. Not many people noticed, but once up close many could tell the slight significance in the hue of his eyes.

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poems i would write you | shawn mendes

MY MASTERLIST

word count: 9,018 (i was gonna split this up, but decided to just keep it together. it’s long. put on your favorite sweatpants and grab that bag of hot cheetos you’ve been saving before you dig into this thing.)

author’s note: GUESS WHO’S BACK, BACK AGAIN? BERRY’S BACK, TELL A FRIEND. welcome to the first installment of my college!shawn series, which takes place during Y/N’s (that’s you) freshman year. it’s got fluff, angst, and some pretty stupid decisions on everyone’s part. title from “shot down” by khalid, as per a recommendation from @light-up-shawn. enjoy.


Your name: submit What is this?

i.

Upon your arrival to college, you had been on the receiving end of entirely too much advice from various relatives, older friends, and even strangers. Don’t walk alone at night, don’t sign up for eight AM classes, don’t drink the “jungle juice” at any frat parties.

Your parents had told you to focus on your studies and seek tutoring help if you needed it. Your sister had encouraged you to join a sorority to really be at “the heart” of university life, as if you knew what that meant. The only advice your cousin gave you was to always remember your room key and to pack a pair of shower shoes, the latter of which she accompanied with a shudder - you could piece together that anecdote on your own.

But nobody had prepared you for this particular problem.

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Smug Friends

Requested. @thinkingoverloves
Who: KJ Apa
Quote: I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned.  

[Y/N] playfully rolled her eyes as she walked past KJ and Cole repeatedly singing her name. Jumping over the back of the couch of the school lounge room set, she nestled next to Lili and Camila.

Lili looked over her shoulder, smirking as KJ pouted that [Y/N] ignored him. Turning back around, she bumped into her shoulder. “Girl, he’s hooked.” 

Scoffing, [Y/N] shook her head. “I think you’re delirious.” 

Camila spoke up, snorting. “No, you’re delirious if you can’t see it.” 

“KJ doesn’t like me,” [Y/N] said sternly, cocking a brow at the two girls she would consider her best friends. It had been a complete and total whirlwind since she joined the Riverdale cast and she appreciated everyone who welcomed her into warm arms. “He’s just being KJ.” 

Camila leaned back onto the couch, smirking. “I mean normally yes we’d agree but come on, [Y/N]. KJ has been up your butt since day one. Borderline obsessed, borderline a mess.” 

Lili agreed, “KJ’s friendly but not that friendly.” Scrolling through his Instagram she pulled up a picture that he had posted a few days ago of himself and [Y/N] at a cute little cafe the group of them had gone to for lunch. “I’m quoting this word for word since you’re a grandma and haven’t made an Instagram yet.” She rolled her eyes but it was clear by her laugh that it was not meant to be taken any other way but playfully. Clearing her throat, she started to read, “’Friends are great to have, especially ones that are this pretty’” Looking at [Y/N], she quirked a brow with that famous Lili smirk across her lips, “And I should mention the amount of heart shaped eyes emoji’s he put after that is a little excessive but I’m not judging.” 

[Y/N] squinted her eyes, gently taking Lili’s phone from her hands, she needed to see it for herself. Chewing on her lip, she looked up at Lili and Camila’s smug faces. “KJ thinks all of us are pretty, you know that.” 

Camila groaned while she too rolled her eyes. “Okay, give me a second.” Quickly searching through KJ’s twitter, she pulled up a boomerang video of KJ videoing [Y/N] up close with the flash on while she rolled her eyes and smiled. “I do believe this caption states, ‘Those eyes and smile though’ and look, another excessive amount of heart shaped eye emoji.” 

Standing up, [Y/N] gave them a slightly stern look. “I promise you, he doesn’t like me.” 

“And we promise you, he does.” Camila countered. “Big time, too. We’ve been with KJ long enough to know that he’s got the love bug bad.” 

“Real bad.” Lili chimed in, smirking.

Camila crossed her legs, blinking a million times. “You also can’t argue with the fans either. They ship you two a lot. I’ve seen some really cute tribute videos.” 

Lili nodded, looking over at Camila she pointed randomly. “Oh yeah! I really like the one where they used that super cute James Arthur song-”

“-you two are mental.” [Y/N] shook her head and walked away. Walking over towards the table where they had coffee and snacks set up for everyone. She poured herself a coffee and about had a heart attack when she heard KJ say her name from behind her. “Jesus!” 

“Oh, shit. I didn’t mean to scare you!” KJ placed a warm hand on her shoulder, his face completely apologetic. 

Chuckling, she took a deep breath and shrugged. “It’s okay, but damn, you need some bells or something.” 

Taking his hand off of her shoulder, he ran it through his hair. “Yeah, ha, I’ll get on that.” KJ bit his lip, “So, uh, want to go grab lunch or something?” 

“Sure,” empty a few sugar packets into her cup, she looked at him sideways, “are they coming too?” 

“Oh, uh, well, uh.” KJ stumbled over his words, something he usually never did. 

Raising a brow, [Y/N] looked at him with a confused look. “You okay, KJ? You’re acting a bit strange.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine, great actually….” KJ closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, he had rehearsed this ten times better in his head. Taking a deep breath, he finally opened his eyes and went for it. “Okay, listen. So, uh, I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned and I’ve been trying really hard to ignore these feelings but you make it so damn hard. I love our friendship and it’s something that I will cherish forever but I have to know if you feel the same or at least somewhat because I can work with the somewhat and if you don’t, I just hope I didn’t ruin us being friends-”

“-KJ,” [Y/N] interrupted, shaking her head while smiling. “Slow down.” Using her free hand, she grabbed his arm gently. “I like you too.” 

“What? Really? You do? That’s great, I mean.” He cleared his throat and tried to act nonchalant. 

 [Y/N] was about to respond but she could see Lili and Camila behind him giving her their smug smirks and quirked brows. Narrowing her eyes at them, she had to fight back a laugh when they both turned on their heel and scurried in the other direction. 

KJ noticing that she was looking at something behind, turned slightly just in time to see his friends running off. “What was that about?” 

Returning her attention, she shook her head. “Nothing, um, did you say something about lunch?” 

Smiling, he nodded. “Yeah, do you want to get some?”

“You spoke the magic words.” [Y/N] mimicked his smile and motioned for him to lead the way. “After you.” 

helo rats i have a favor

okay i feel the events that took place in my history class today would make a MIGHTY FINE Jefferson/Hamilton cartoon of some sort, so I’ll just lay it down here and let you rats take the reigns


so today we had a potluck “presidential lunch” where we all drew a president from a cup and we had to research and prepare his favorite food, and someone had to bring in Richard Nixon’s snack of choice, which was cottage cheese with ketchup on it, I know, disgusting am I right, nobody even wanted to try it it was so atrocious

anyways, this one other guy in my class always debated and bickered in this class and we always CONSTANTLY tried to 1up each other, and at this point, he has won two Kahoot games and I had won two, so we were gonna end up tied at the end of the class since our final is tomorrow, it’s competitive business you see

so I go over to my teacher and I’m like “how much bragging rights do I get for trying the cottage cheese with ketchup” and she’s like, “I dunno, probably a lot” and I go over to that one guy like, “Yo, whoever eats the cottage cheese first should break the tie, since we’re tied for wins throughout the year,” and he’s like “heard you won’t” and I’m like “oop, try me bish”

so I boogey on down to the table and try this MONSTROSITY OF A MEAL, and I proudly get to flaunt bragging rights, and according to my teacher, “infinite review game wins”

okay you rats get creative with this, I wanna see how this goes down, I love u all

pls the real life experience was a giant meme in itself, pls help me turn it into a mega meme
5

I decided I want to do a picture log of what I am eating in a day. For people who ask me about what I eat and because this way seems healthier/more creative way of logging than counting calories.

Breakfast:
Bran Muffin
Banana
Greek yogurt

Lunch:
½ box of white cheddar mac and cheese
1 can tuna
¼ cup cottage cheese
½ avocado
(all mixed in bowl)

Snack:
Strawberries
Blackberries
Banana
Greek yogurt

Dinner:
Asparagus
1 cup white rice
Boneless/skinless chicken breast covered with Grey Poupon mustard and one tbsp Italian breadcrumbs

Dessert:
Rice pudding, made with almond milk, stevia, cinnamon and raisins
Strawberries

Exercise for the day:
30min 2 mile loop hike
Intervals on the treadmill for 30min/2 miles

can we just like….talk about dexter jettster? how qui gon passed this amazing  giant four-armed lizard man’s friendship to obi wan and they just talk about everything together and how they probably have this secret code language or something for all the shady things going down in the republic? how they have casual lunches in this greasy diner with cups of steaming caff? how they sit and chat on rooftops through clouds of smoke from dex’s cheroots? and how dex’s seen it all- he knows obi wan, probably as well as some of the masters in the temple do- and how he knows anakin too and even ahsoka and how he probably saw the first billows of smoke roll up from the jedi temple that night? 

anonymous asked:

My request: Chocobros having a stable relationship until their S/O starts feeling left behind because of amount of work their boyfriend has. She finds THAT GUY who cheers them up - no cheating, as in sex, involved - but Chocobros notice the sudden change of S/O behaviour. Good thing they do, because oh boy THAT GUY turns out to be obsessed with you. In the end, I just want a scenario with Bros being knights in shining armors saving you from a weirdo with a knife. (inspired by Love Artifact AMV)

OOOH YES! Omg this has so much alpha-male chocobro potential! Ah, I am so excited to write this *starts writing immediately* I wrote Noctis a really long scenario because I realised that I always neglect him in my fills and write his scenarios too short LOL :/

Just to let ya’ll know- if the whole post does not show up, just copy and past the permalink into your browser (for mobile phone users) :D If you have any issues, just DM me and I’ll help you out! :D

Tagging: @the-regalia, @blindbae, @itshaejinju, @airlea-sicarius, @rubyphilomela, @hypaalicious and @the-lucian-archives :D


Noctis: You sit by yourself at lunch for the third week in a row, your chin cupped in your hands and your lips parting continuously to let you tired, sad sighs. You wanted to spend time with your boyfriend, but that was becoming difficult with high school graduation looming in the next month. Noctis was not a normal student, after all, he was the Crown Prince of Lucis. On top of exams and college applications, he was also well into his magic training, his physical combat training and his advanced political science classes. Noctis was a busy young man, and you appreciated that fact- but you did feel a little lonely. It had been over a month since you got to feel Noctis’ lips against yours, and you missed his lazy little smiles and his impromptu naps on you lap in the park. You just missed him so much, but you felt like a whiny girlfriend every time you thought about asking him to meet you in his down time. He was probably tired and needed his rest. So you refrained from contacting him lest you ended up annoying the busy prince- after all, you were nothing but his commoner girlfriend. In the grand scheme of things, you probably didn’t matter too much to Noctis anyways.

Weeks of thinking along those lines led you to conversing with the resident ‘bad-boy’ in your grade. He’s relatively good looking- nothing like the art that is your prince though- and he knows how to hold an intelligent conversation. So on the lead up to your graduation, he spends lunch time with you and the two of you become good friends- or so you think. Resident bad-boy invites you to a party during one of your lunch time chats, and you tell him that you’ll think about it. That night, you scrounge up the courage to call your busy boyfriend, only to be re-directed to his soft-spoken voice mail message. You groan in frustration, disconnect the call, and then dial your new male friend’s number, and tell him you’ll be at the party.

That weekend, you and the bad-boy Tak hit it off, and you’re starting to feel very comfortable with him. You start to feel a little shy and bashful around him and you also find yourself flirting lightly with him. Nothing too serious, just some giggling, some arm touching and some flirty smiles exchanged across the room- but every time he tries to make a serious move, you remind him that you are already spoken for. This tactic seems to work for a while until Noctis is back at school, and sitting with you at lunch for the first time in a very long while.

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3

Had a great day a couple weeks ago with @diapereddallas. We started with lunch and a sippy cup, then colored our diapers (I colored the puppy one, then he made me switch 😱). After some cuddlin’, we made cookies and colored in a coloring book! This is the first set of pics, more to come soon! 🍪👨‍🎨

Sage and 7 of it’s remedial uses.

1. Drink it as a hot tea to soothe sore throats, colds, tonsillitis and respiratory infections, it can also aid in fighting them off. 

2. If you suffer from indigestion you can eat 2-3 fresh leaves or drink it in a hot tea to help soothe it.

3. It can reduce sinus congestion and night sweats due to it’s fluid regulating properties.

4. It can aid in digestion and thus reduce flatulence along with digestive headaches.

5. Smoke cleansing, the process of burning bundled and tied sage has been proven to kill airborne bacteria.

6. It has very high anti-fungal, antiseptic and antibacterial properties. This means eating it can help kill bad gut bacteria and fight infections in the digestive tract.

7. Due to it’s antiseptic properties you can use it to make a salve to treat cuts, grazes and burns.

———————————-

How to make Sage Tea:

  • 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh sage.
  • Juice of half a lemon or lime.
  • Boil enough water for one cup.
  • Add the boiling water and the sage into a cup to steep for 5-7 minutes.
  • Lastly add the lemon/lime juice to taste and add honey for throat soothing properties.

If you commonly suffer with sore throats, indigestion, blocked sinuses and have poor house ventilation I’d recommend getting a fresh Sage plant or two. They are very easy to keep and produce more than enough leaves to use. Keep it on a windowsill and it will thrive.

If you’re suffering from an infection start drinking a cup with breakfast, lunch and dinner until it subsides. 

Don’t forget to visit your doctor though as serious infections may need strong antibiotics!