lululemon jacket

Penelope, Emmeline, Molly, and Daphne

I will be posting One Direction stuff soon. Sucks that I have to disclaim that, but I feel I do. When I get messages saying that I’ve ditched them, it makes my stomach pout.

Let me know if you want me to do something on the sons. I haven’t really written much about them.

I FEEL SO EXPOSED RIGHT NOW. I’m so nervous. Onward …

Name: Penelope Elizabeth June Hemmings Birthday: January 21st Star Sign: Aquarius 

Nickname: Penny, Pen, Pigpen (lovingly by family), Beach Bunny

Clothing style: If she can wear it at the beach, Penelope will wear it. She despises her school uniform and is always getting demerits for the strings of her bathing suit top popping out of the collar of her white blouse or showing right through. She shares clothes with her brothers, the twins Miles and March, and lives in bright colored shorts whether they’re denim, mesh, sweat, terrycloth, or cotton. She would rather be in her birthday suit with a golden tan, living in the waves, than wearing any actual material, but her father insists she cover up. She does have a soft spot for accessories, favoring bangles and a wearing a ring on every finger all at once.

Hairstyle: Shoulder length either in a damp ponytail or let down and frizzy. Eyecolor: Bondi blue Hair color: Champagne blond

Piercings or Tattoos: Conch shell tattoo on her ankle on her seventeenth birthday. Navel piercing and ears, though she wants a nose stud.

Complexion: Sunkissed tan that somehow manages to come out perfect even though she often falls asleep in a hammock without much protection on.

Body type:  Slender except for a butt that she doesn’t care for, but gets enough attention for her father to constantly walk behind her when he takes her to red carpet events because he knows it’ll gain press coverage otherwise for being a perfect peach.

Emotional Level: Chill. So chill that her parents tore her room looking for pot when she didn’t react to them grounding her for a month after she snuck out to go night surfing.

Occupation: Amateur surfer. Student. Wants to be a chef.

Hometown: New Castle, NSW, Australia, but raised in Sydney, AUS.

Pets: She had a turtle named Zoey when she was little, but March set it free at the beach and they never found him.  

Nemesis: Penelope doesn’t care for enemies. She won’t hate you. She just won’t care.

Interests: Cooking, horror movies, surfing, tanning, rollerblading, a good time, and piano.    

Musical Style: The Police are her ultimate favorite band. Luke dedicates ‘Every Little Thing She Does’ at concerts for her occasionally, but she likes classic rock like Pearl Jam, Led Zeppelin, The Who, The Rolling Stones, Mott the Hoople, and Queen.  

Favorite Place She’s Ever Been: Hawaii. She dreams of surfing the Banzai Pipeline

Best Friend: If she likes you, you’re her best friend.

Favorite Food: Oatmeal with coconut and honey. Least Favorite Food: Peanuts. Strictly because she is allergic.  

Favorite Tradition: Sneaking out with Emmeline and Daphne to go to Bondi Beach where she would night surf while they gossip, drinking coconut water and cheap vodka, and building sandcastles.   They always invite Molly, but she always replies with: “No, you’re going to get in trouble.” Or “I have so much homework. Sorry.”

Oddest Thing To Ever Have Happened to Her: It’s a three way toss up between being in Women’s Health Magazine at 17 for their Summer Workout Story, when she was almost force fed a king-sized Baby Ruth bar by an intense fan for attention from Luke, but was saved by a one Michael Clifford’s wife, and any time anyone asks for a picture with her because she is a Hemmings.

Personal Goals: To surf Ghost Trees and the Banzai Pipeline, to go to culinary school in Paris, to record a duet with her father, to make her own way without people always thinking of her as Luke Hemming’s daughter, to say ‘I love you’ back to a boy one day.

Most Afraid Of: Never being taken seriously.  

Greatest Strength: Fitting in anywhere, being an awesome big sister, shrugging things off, managing to be there for anyone who needs her, and being able to hear Daphne Hood’s tiny voice across a room.

Weakness: Shrugging things off, keeping her feelings inside, and forgetting plans.

In the future: She wants to open her own restaurant or have her own food truck, maybe even her own cooking show and recipe books. She doesn’t care if she ever marries or has kids, but she thinks it would be cool to have one partner that is loyal to her and vice versa. She wants people to know her as ‘Penny’ and not ‘Penelope Hemmings’. 

Biggest Regret: Telling her dad to ‘Fuck off’ in front of Grandma Liz when he told her she couldn’t go surfing with her friends at Snapper Rock without his supervision.

Special talents: Making the best pink lemonade ice cream pie, licking her elbow, surfing, and opening beer bottles with her teeth much to her father’s dismay.

Most Likely To: Promise she won’t and then do it anyway.

Name: Emmeline Mabel Clifford Birthday: July 31st Star Sign: Leo

Nickname: Emme Sex: Female

Clothing style: Lovingly, her mother refers to it as ‘vintage mess fabulous’. Emmeline is notorious for going into other people’s closets, taking pieces she wants, and wearing them all at once. She brought her father’s Pokemon shirt out of storage and wore it as a crop top on a day out, pairing it with terribly tight bright blue leather pants, a mess of different length gold necklaces, and black espadrilles, her hair up in a large top knot in the center of her head. She loves to go hunting through large department stores or thrift shops, never staying in just the women’s section. She’ll wear a maternity top, a men’s overcoat, children’s plastic clip-on earrings. Emmeline doesn’t really care about being taken seriously.

Hairstyle: Long, unkept, full of split ends, often tied up in a messy bun. Eyecolor: Glaucous blue Hair color: Strawberry blond

Piercings or Tattoos: Small needle point style heart with the word ‘Dad’ in the middle on her left hip, belly button and ears.

Complexion: Fair Body type:  Inverted triangle. She’s insecure about her broad shoulders and short height, but she can’t seem to put on weight anywhere besides her upper body.

Emotional Level: Drama queen, making every  young starlet looking level headed.

Occupation: Model

Hometown: Sydney, Australia

Pets: Ragdoll cat named Harriet that her grandmother gave her for her sixth birthday as a kitten. She brought her to New York with her when she moved after graduating despite her parents thinking that it was excessive to do that much paperwork for a cat.

Nemesis: Linda Evangelista. Why: Because she wants to be her.

Interests: Poker, partying, fashion, drawing, pizza, traveling, and all things bargain bin.  

Musical Style: Funky. (Stevie Wonder, Bob Marley, Pete Tosh, James Brown, Lorde, The Crystals, Bee Gees, The Jacksons, The Shangri-Las, Lady Gaga)

Favorite Place She’s Ever Been: Australia (She’s a hometown girl)

Best Friend: Iden Clifford (Little brother), Edwin Styles (Harry Styles’s son)

Favorite Food:  Pizza with everything on it Least Favorite Food: Wheatgrass. Her agents keep telling her to juice and she makes YouTube videos of her trying to and failing humorously.

Favorite Tradition: Sneaking her little brother into after parties and clubs and requesting terrible songs with him in order to dance like an idiot all night.  

Oddest Thing To Ever Have Happened to Her: When she was eleven, she started receiving e-mails from untraceable accounts that were full of graphic images and details about how much they loved her. They continued on and off, sometimes gifts even coming to her house, until a stalker named Brian Peach from Melbourne, was arrested. When she was sixteen, she started receiving letters, emails, and phone calls as well as a lot of sexually harassing tweets, and once again, she had a stalker. On the outside, she laughs it off, but it has always terrified her. It’s something she and her parents have fought about on countless occasions.

Personal Goals: To be the face of a major brand. To be the muse of messed up famous musician. To make the perfect smoothie to cure her wicked hangovers. To never have a hangover again. To work out without complaining. To be the best big sister. To stop embarrassing her father with drunken photographs of her surfacing everywhere.

Most Afraid Of: Rats and not making it as a model.

Greatest Strength: Her confidence and loud mouth. She has no problem speaking her mind to anyone.

Weakness: Carbs, her brother, and dance music.

In the future: She hopes to have children and a nice man who is obsessed with her, but they’ll still throw raging house parties somewhere in Upstate New York. She also wants to be modeling without a trace of Botox.  

Biggest Regret: Shooting with Terry Richardson.

Special talents: Making anyone laugh no matter the mood they’re in, pulling off karaoke like a queen, drinking twelve shots of tequila back to back, and making Michael Clifford melt with an easy pout of her already oversized lips.

Most Likely To: Skinny dip in the winter with a red bull in one hand and the other tossing up a peace sign. 

Name: Molly Annemarie Irwin Birthday: June 2nd 

Star Sign: Gemini

Nickname: Molls, Sunbeam (Exclusively by her father) Sex: Female

Clothing style: Organic and vegan free and minimal. She practically lives in bike shorts, her long legs like pillars out of the thick black material. Molly doesn’t care about fashion or know anything about fashion, but she knows yoga, hiking, working out, and running around. She is a walking LuluLemon advertisement. A denim jacket, worn out and ripped up, over top of a cotton t-shirt that she bought in order to support some cause or another are generally worn with a pair of Toms or one dollar flip flops from the supermarket.

Hairstyle: Ponytail. Eyecolor: Hazel Hair color: Pale blond

Piercings or Tattoos: Ears, but she generally just wears a pair of gold studs in the shape of the letter ‘M’ that were a birthday gift from her parents.  

Complexion: Light Nude Body type:  Slender and athletic. Secretly, she wishes she had a chest like Daphne Hood’s, but she is flatter than an ironing board and all limbs.

Emotional Level: She would never admit it, but she is constantly walking on a wire with her emotions. Her opinion is that she is very even.  

Occupation: Student, tutors children in English after school.

Hometown: Born in London, England, raised in Sydney, Australia

Pets: Golden retriever, Gatsby, and large mutt, Rocco.   

Nemesis: Naveed Godlewiski-Gupta Why: As the top students in their academy, they have always been pitted against one another. It almost feels natural to be at one another’s throats.

Interests: Science, animals, animal rights, swimming, biology, ukulele, environment, yoga, hiking, biking, reading, writing, and painting.

Musical Style: Folk/Indie (Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Yuna, Tori Amos, Sarah Slean, Lisa Hannigan, Neil Young, Roberta Flack, Gordon Lightfoot, Paul Simon,  

Favorite Place She’s Ever Been: San Diego Zoo

Best Friend: Her dad.

Favorite Food:  Pears Least Favorite Food: Well, she actively hasn’t eaten meat since she was about 12. 

Favorite Tradition: Going to the zoo for her birthday every June 2nd, no matter where they have to go in the family, the Irwin family hits up the zoo. 

Oddest Thing To Ever Have Happened to Her: She failed her driving test four times. It’s the only test she’s ever failed and she’s still not over it.  

Personal Goals: To study whales and sharks. To earn her PhD in marine biology. To have a pet monkey. To pay her bills on her own and not rely on her father. To not just sleep with only books. To go a year without tickets to do anything with driving.

Most Afraid Of: Dying alone and/or never making a difference.

Greatest Strength: Organization, concentration, being able to reach the top shelf, discipline.

Weakness: Eyesight, she’s been wearing glasses since she was three. She cannot balance work and a personal life, can’t keep a secret for the life of her, gets frustrated easily.

In the future: She hopes to have put an end to all pollution and whale poaching and look after her parents the way they’ve looked after her.

Biggest Regret: Not staying out past curfew even once.

Special talents: Absorbs information like a sponge, has finished Hemmingway within an afternoon, can fit a record of 15 marshmallows in her mouth at once, can hold a headstand for three minutes, can hold her breath for four.

Most Likely To: Get pulled over for crying hysterically at the wheel.

Name: Daphne Amalie Hood Birthday: October 28th

Star Sign: Scorpio

Nickname: Daph, Daffy, Daffy Taffy (exclusively by Michael and Ashton)

Sex: Female

Clothing style: Outside of a school appointed uniform, Daphne is most often found in tight clothing. She favors V-neck tops and bright colored skirts, but typically dons flat sandals with bobbles or metallic beads on them. She even sleeps in nighties, cotton, which hug her silhouette. Daphne would call Esmerelda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Sophia Loren her style icons. Pineapple sends her an abundance of free gear in hopes that she will be photographed in it candidly to promote their own sales. She often has been when her dad takes her out for ice cream after dance which is more often than he probably should. 

Piercings or Tattoos: Ears and upper lobe on her right side.

Hairstyle: Long with blunt bangs Eyecolor: Heartbreaking brown Hair color: Dark brown

Complexion: Medium to olive Body type: Hourglass. While dancing has kept Daphne healthy, genes have blessed (or cursed) her with a body like a cursive capital ‘S’, breasts and hips for days.

Emotional Level: Average

Occupation: Student, volunteers assisting dance classes occasionally

Hometown: Born an unexpected preemie in Vancouver, British Columbia, but raised inSydney, Australia

Pets: Blubber (goldfish, deceased), Blubber 2 (goldfish, deceased).  Marigold, (guinea pig)

Nemesis: Raquel Coin Why: A girl in her grade, transfer from New Zealand, who has hooked up with March Hemmings and frequently pokes fun at Daphne for her failing grades and for being the daughter of Calum Hood.

Interests: Dance (contemporary, hip hop, and jazz), fashion, boys, all things chocolate.

Musical Style: Singer Songwriter (Ray Lamontagne, Jack Johnson, David Gray, James Morrison, Ron Sexsmith, Leonard Cohen, Dave Matthews Band, Coldplay, John Mayer, Amos Lee)

Favorite Place She’s Ever Been: London, England

Best Friend: Penelope Hemmings

Favorite Food:  Chocolate gelato with chocolate shavings Least Favorite Food: Sheperd’s Pie (She’s thrown it up involuntarily all three times she’s had it)

Favorite Tradition: Roadtripping with her mom to dance competitions. Her mom is one of the few people she can completely be herself around, singing at the top of her lungs to the radio and throwing her hair around like it’s not attached to her head.

Oddest Thing To Ever Have Happened to Her: When she was thirteen,an article on an online gossip site started a rumor that Michael had actually donated sperm for her conception and was her real father. It earned more media attention than anyone anticipated and Michael wound up filming a video for YouTube, setting things straight. Some people still think there could be some truth to the garbage article that had really offended her father.

Personal Goals: To dance professionally, to speak another language besides English, to make her parents proud, to earn one A while in school, to not fall asleep in class, to find the lip gloss that can outlast a backseat make out session, and to grow tall enough for people to stop almost running into her or sitting on her (here’s looking at you, Uncle Luke).

Most Afraid Of: Not graduating on time, breaking any limb, getting hit by a car, being publically ridiculed, and the wrath of Calum Hood.

Greatest Strength: Listening though Emmeline and Penelope claim it’s that she can roll into a ball and fit into any small space, making it easy for them to break in and out the Clifford residence on weekends.

Weakness: All things academic, standing up for herself, boys.

In 10 Years: She would love to have been crowned the winner of ‘SYTYCD Australia’, have studied under dancers she’s admired for years, performed in London’s West End and/or on Broadway, happily in the chorus of some production.

Biggest Regret: Losing her virginity to Kellan Carmichael when she was fifteen.

Special talents: Aside from being able to fit into dog doors and through bathroom windows, she can carry golf balls between her butt cheeks (a discovery made after little sleep in a hotel room with all the other band children), and she is the undefeated lawn bowler of the entire extended 5SOS family.

Most Likely to Be: Underestimated.