lukes hoe

“That was 12 years ago, Gaston”

It’s been 12 years. 12 years since Gaston served in the army. This changes my perspective on so many things in the movie? Because the movie itself made it seem like it was very recent. In all honesty, I thought they’d only just returned because of their scene in ‘Belle’. 

But.

If Gaston serving in war has been 12 years ago… It means Gaston is at least 30 years old. Probably a little older. Which makes sense, in all honesty I would’ve said Gaston is probably around 34. And I’m not sure how old Belle actually is, but it would mean Gaston is twice as old as she is. How old was she when Gaston came back from the army then. 5? 6? When did he start to want her? It’s obviously something that’s been going on for a while because Belle seems pretty done.

He himself, would’ve been around 15 when he got recruited for the army. Probably together with LeFou, of course, but still. They were so young. They went through everything together and I love how even after so many years, Gaston still needs LeFou around him. The poor kids…

But also, he still lives back in those days. He talks about the army quite a lot for someone who has been out for 12 years already. “Ever since the war I’ve felt like I’ve been missing something.” He’s been missing something in his life for the past 12 years… Honestly I feel bad for the man and it does make sense that he is so focused on Belle? It’s the only thing in his life he doesn’t already have. Surely Belle is what he’s been missing, right?

Also the scene in the forest with Maurice where he gets all angry and LeFou calms him down by talking about the war. If you didn’t believe him having PTSD already… 

And the scene itself. He talks to Belle about his glorious days back in battle. The girl is too young to probably know anything about his life in battle (except for the hundreds of stories he’s probably been telling her). But it’s the only thing he feels like he can impress her with.

And what about his immediate response to the potential threat of the beast? Finally, after 12 years of walking through the village and spread hero stories about himself. Finally, he can show the entire village what he’s capable of.

I’m glad they took this scene out of the movie, because I don’t think it would’ve fit. But as for my understanding of Gaston’s background… Thank god they put this out as a deleted scene. There’s so many more thoughts about this being 12 years ago but I can’t seem to get them into words. Feel free to add your own thoughs on this.

Alec: If you kill him, you kill a part of me.

Maryse: Jace is not your blood.

Alec: *looks at the camera like he’s on the office*

SM Trainees Meeting after hearing about Yukhei(Lucas)

Jungwoo: *opens a 50 page powerpoint and puts on his glasses* Ok. So it has been brought to my attention that a fellow trickass bitch of ours is now officially a part of Smrookies as well as a part of SR17B meaning that once again, we are being neglected, our rights are being abused, thrown to the side, crumbled, torn apart, eaten, pounded, smashed-

Kun: wait. shouldn’t we be happy for yukhei?

Jungwoo: *snaps his head towards Kun* listen. i don’t think you fully understand you forgotten-ass hoe but luke has betrayed us all, especially me since I’ve been here longer than all of ur pathetic asses but we will not stand by this and start a rebellion. Now let me continue on with my powerpoint, as I was saying I-

Kaicheng: dude don’t u understand that if he’s been shown as a a part of sr17b, that probably means we’ll be next and be able to escape the basement?

Jungwoo: Ok first of all, who tf are you? second of all, i’m the smart, talented, gorgeous, stunning, amazing one here so stfu and stop interrupting me. So I think that we should-

Hansol: You know, he does have a point there. Like next month you could be introduced jungwoo.

Jungwoo: isTG, THE NEXT PERSON WHO TRIES ME WILL GET AN ASS BEATING & WEEKLY RATIONS TAKEN AWAY UNDERSTAND? I WILL GOBBLE UP ALL OF UR FOOD IF U INTERRUPT ME ONE MORE TIME SO SHUTUP. Now-

Jaemin: hey guys? is this the meeting about lucas? sorry I’m late i-

Jungwoo: *shrieks like a pterodactyl & throws his 1997 chunky-ass computer on the ground*

Hansol/Kun/Kaicheng: *roll eyes* here we go again

Jungwoo: wHAT TF ARE U EVEN DOING HERE, THIS IS A SECRET MEETING WITH ONLY SPECIAL INVITATIONS SO GET UR PRIVILEGED BITCHASS OUTTA HERE, U UNKNOWN PEANUTBUTTERJAMIN ASS HOE.

Jaemin: whoa chill man, i’m in the same boat as you guys bc sm has me on bed-rest for like 2 yrs and idk when i’ll be able to join nct again.

Jungwoo: *laughs like an evil woman* sO U RLLY WANNA TEST ME WITH THAT 14 YR OLD BULLSHIT THATS BIGGER THAN ALL OF THE LIES SM HAS CREATED?????

Hansol to other trainees: so u guys wanna go out for some coffee or somethin?

Jaemin: huh?

Jungwoo: *takes a deep breath* i’m only gonna say this once, but get ur ass out of here before I call the cops & have u arrested for breaking in & trespassing.

Jaemin: isn’t that the same thing? & also i’m a part of sm too lol so u can’t really-

Jungwoo: *throws over a table and runs up to Jaemin* I’M. THE. ONLY. CRAZY. BITCH. HERE. SO. GET. THE. FUCC. OUT. BEFORE. U. GET. SMACKED. THE. FUCC. INTO. A. COMA. U CHIPMUNKLOOKIN ASS.

Yukhei: whatsup guys! i heard we’re havin a meeting or somethin, idk that’s what ten told me haha, but what’s new?

Jungwoo: *screeches like an old woman who’s found that her plants have all died and stomping on the ground to the instrumental of firetruck*

The Mob Song Alternate Version

*This is a joke not to be taken seriously. Written by @gastt, encouraged by the Tally Hoes.

[TALLY HOES]
We’re not safe until he’s gay
Turn him gay or turn him bi
Doesn’t matter, make him like dick
And f*ck Evans every night
He’ll wreak havoc on our shipping
If we let him remain straight

[LUKE EVANS]
So it’s time to take some action, hoes!
It’s time to follow me!

Through the memes, through the posts
Through the Discord chat and Tumblr
It’s pretty gay, but it’s one exciting ride
Sing this song, then we’re there
At the straightness of Josh Gad
And there’s something truly terrible inside

Josh is straight!
He’s got kids, and a wife too!
Still, pretty gay for a straight dude
He’ll be gay, you can bet
And he won’t be a het
When he’s gay!
Proud and gay!

[LUKE EVANS, TALLY HOES]
Turn Josh gay!

[TALLY HOES]
Light your phone, get your laptop

[LUKE EVANS]
Screw your co-star in the sticking place

[TALLY HOES]
We’re counting on Luke Evans, make Josh gay!

[LUKE EVANS]
Once we’re there, turn him gay
We’ll go marching into straightness
With fangs like this, I’ll turn everyone gay

[JOSH GAD]
I’m straight as an arrow, there’s no question
But I fear that the gayness is released

[TALLY HOE]
Sally forth! Tally hoe!
Grab your bi friend and pan bro
Praise the rainbow flag and go!

We don’t like what is not very gay
In fact, it scares us
And this st8 sh*t is mysterious at least
Bring your gays, not your wives
Unless they’re lesbian, high-five
We’ll save our Le Duo and our lives
We’ll turn Josh gay!

Unafraid although the gayness just increased
Raise the flag, sing the song
Here we come, we’re fifty strong
And fifty gay dudes can’t be wrong
Let’s make Josh gay!

Make Josh gay!
Make Josh gay!


I’m sorry