2 years. 2 years in a relationship with Nash, just to break
up over text message because of the pictures of him and another girl. He was on
tour and cheating on you.
You’ll admit, the first week, you laid in bed crying. You
were heartbroken. He was your first true love, after pizza of course. But you
were so hurt. He said he loved you, but his actions showed otherwise.
In the messages, he said it was an accident. A one time
thing. She was just a fan and things just happened. He didn’t mean it. He loved
Lie after lie after lie.
The second week you were still upset, but you moved from
your bed now. You found yourself mostly playing sad songs and drowning your
pain in the bottom of a tub of ice cream. Not the healthiest way to cope, but
you were doing okay.
The third week you were finally realizing that he didn’t
deserve your tears. You saw his tweets, Instagram pictures, snapchat stories,
he was out having the time of his life it seemed. He was out on dates with
other girls already. Out partying with the guys. He was happy, so why weren’t
The forth week rolled around and you decided you were done.
You finally got rid of that box of stuff you had of his under your bed. Your
burned the love letters, threw away all the gifts he bought you, like the teddy
bear from Valentine’s Day. The minion he won from a carnival game the night he
took you on your 4th date. All of it. You were finally ready to move
Now, here you are, 6 months post break up, hanging out with
your new boyfriend, Beau at his place.
You guys met at the gym (since drowning your sorrows in ice
cream did nothing for your figure) a month after your breakup and really
clicked. Granted he gave you all his lines that day, it was his sense of humor
that made you agree to going out to lunch with him the next day, and well, the
rest is history. That was 5 months ago though.
Now here you are, head over heels for the biggest goof you
knew. He constantly made you laugh, and his brothers, Luke and Jai, same age as
you, were suddenly your best friends. You spent at least 4 days out of the week
with Beau, the other 3 you were just busy with work.
You were currently at Beau and the rest of the boys place in
LA, cuddled up on his bed watching a movie. You couldn’t deny that you were
tired. You were up early this morning for a photoshoot, and you didn’t get home
until late last night.
You did some modeling, and you had to admit you did love it.
You noticed how 3 months after your break up though, any picture you would post
you saw Nash would like it. No big deal, since you did get like 200,000 some
likes on a picture, but still.
And he would indirect you on twitter a lot. Or at least he
has lately. He’s tweeted ‘don’t ever let go of someone who was once all about
you’ and ‘my only regret was hurting you so much it made you leave.’ Of course
there were several others, and people always tagged you in the tweets, but you
paid no attention.
You were happy with Beau. He made you feel beautiful. Loved.
Everything. You loved being around him. You honestly couldn’t even picture
being with anyone else now. You wanted nothing more than to just be with Beau.
Like, he was your happiness.
That night you didn’t have to work, and you didn’t have
anything for the following morning, so as usual you stayed with the boys, a
habit that seemed to be starting. You cooked them dinner, which they were
grateful for, and then watched them play fifa. Jai and Luke versus Beau and
Around 11:30 you decided to head to bed, knowing those four
would be up for hours. Beau did pause the game though to ‘tuck’ you into bed,
which only led to you guys making out for like 15 minutes before Jai screamed
from downstairs for Beau to ‘hurry up and finish’ since ‘everyone knows you
can’t last that long anyway’
You stayed up though, watching a
movie from bed, cuddling with Hamlet. You were watching the lion king, and you
couldn’t help but snap a pic of you and Hamlet. I mean, who doesn’t love dogs,
cuddles, and the Lion King? You posted the photo on twitter and Instagram and
then locked your phone and then focused on the movie.
Nash was on twitter, and was guilty of having your tweet
notifications on, along with you Instagram ones as well. He was over at the
boys house, and they had just finished a game of hoops, everyone taking a break
and checking their phones.
He had a notification of yours from twitter and Instagram.
Checking twitter he saw it. The picture you had taken while over at Beaus. He
immediately exited out and checked your Instagram post, only to see the same
picture. He admits, it was a great pic of you. You looked great, even for it
being 11:30 at night.
“another night with the actual love of my life Hamlet” and
it had Beau fuckin Brooks tagged in the caption, and the picture itself.
“that’s the third fucking night in a row.” He mumbled, locking
his phone. “the third fucking night in a row she’s spent at his house.”
“bro chill, they are dating, it’s not like she’s cheati-
never mind.” Johnson spoke, catching himself from saying something terrible.
“like I don’t fucking know that. I know they’re fucking
dating. Everyone fucking does. Who doesn’t know about the hottest model dating
the Australian prankster. I mean, if you didn’t just go on any fucking site.
Twitter, where her fans and his fans and half the other people in the world
talk about how perfect they are. How much they ship them. Or even look at their
profiles. They do nothing but fucking tweet about one another, tweet one
another and fucking post pictures of them together all the damn time.” Nash
went off. He was pissed. He didn’t like that you were this happy with someone
that wasn’t him.
Because just a few months ago that was you guys. People were
shipping you guys. You were tweeting about one another, tweeting pictures of
each other, posting all kinds of pictures together, tweeting one another.
“bro, can’t you just be happy for her? I mean, don’t you
want her to be happy?” Johnson, the man of wisdom spoke again. Everyone else
just kinda put in their own little inputs, but Johnson was the only one to make
you realize anything.
“Yeah I want her to be happy. But I want her to be happy
with me. I want her to be posting pics of us, not her and someone else.”
“yeah, well you kinda ruined that didn’t you?” Johnson fired
back. Everyone was shocked he said it because well, yeah everyone knew Nash
cheated, but since it happened no one talked about it. Not that they were
scared, but simply that it was just kinda understood. Everyone knew what went
down, no need to discuss it
“Johnson.” Nash practically growled. Everyone could tell he
was ready to punch Johnson for bringing it up.
“no Nash listen. You fucked up. Big time. You had a fucking
dime, and to be honest with you, if it wasn’t for bro code, the second you two
broke up I would’ve gone after her. I’m not gonna lie, I still talk to her,
hang out with her. She’s great, and she loved you so much. But you fucking took
her for granted and lost the best damn thing that ever came your way.” Johnson
“you don’t think I know that? I know I messed up okay.”
“I know, but I still don’t think you get it. Yeah you messed
up. You treated her like shit while you were on tour. Empty conversations,
hardly ever talking to her. I think there was seriously like 2 weeks when you
didn’t even bother to respond to her? But she fucking stuck by you. She way
faithful as shit. And then you go and cheat on her? With a fan? You know they
can’t keep their damn mouths shut. And after that breakup sure you were feeling
great. Free. Nothing could stop you. Nothing was holding you back. Now here we
are, 6 months later, she’s moved on, and now’s when you start caring. She’s
your ex and all and you should want nothing but the best for her since you
couldn’t give it to her.”
“I don’t need this.” Nash said, walking off inside, where he
found Nate and Sammy drinking and smoking. He grabbed a bottle of vodka and
started drinking, giving up on basketball and now all of the guys essentially
just having a small party.
A bottle of vodka, and like half a blunt later Nash was just
a mess. He excluded himself from everyone else inside laughing, having the time
of their lives. He went outside, sitting on the edge of a cement wall. He
scrolled through your guys’ old photos he still had on his phone. His thoughts
eating him alive. He couldn’t stand this.
He missed you.
He missed making you laugh, the way your eyes would squint
and your nose would scrunch up as you tipped your head back. He could no longer
do that to you, he could no longer make you laugh. Now it was Beau who made you
laugh. And that hurt him, so much. Your laugh was his favorite sound.
He missed the way you would cuddle up next to him. How you
would throw your leg over his body and your arm across his chest and snuggle up
real close to him. How you would nuzzle your head in his side. How perfect you
and he fit together.
Or the way you would skip through the house, just humming or
singing. His shirt draped over your body, and your little knee high socks, and
nothing else. It was his favorite sight. He loved nothing more than trudging
out of bed in the morning to find you in the kitchen singing. He loved walking
up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck,
telling you how great last night was. He cringed at the thought of Beau and you
being the same way.
Then the thought of you and Beau being intimate in anyway.
Doing anything sexual. He started to think about all the things you used to
love in the bedroom. How you loved when he would pin you up against the wall.
How rough he could get, but how he could slow it down, putting all his love
into every deep thrust. How you would squirm when he kissed that spot, right
below your ear. Or how you loved to suck him off before anything. The foreplay.
How much you loved to be on top, or how you loved when he hit it from the back.
Thinking of you and Beau doing any of that together was
enough to set him off. He had a new message open to you, he just didn’t have
any idea what to say. His thoughts were all jumbled, and the alcohol gave him
all the confidence he needed. No matter how sloppy his thoughts were one thing
was clear. He missed you, and he wanted to let you know that.
To (y/n): I miss you.
And after he sent it, he waited. Messages still open. Hope
of any contact from you started to fade as 15 minutes had passed and you still
hadn’t even opened it. His thoughts started to come back, and he thought about
how much he missed falling asleep next to you every night, and waking up with
you every morning.
He was about to type another
message but then he saw the little bubble pop up and eagerly awaited your
Beau had just came upstairs into his room to get ready for
bed when you got a new message. Rarely ever getting a message at midnight, you
were quite curious as to who it would be. The only person you ever talked to
this late was either your best friend, or Beau. And since your best friend was
out of state, in a different time zone for the week, you knew it wasn’t her,
plus you guys only talked late when it was an emergency. And considering you
were with Beau, it couldn’t be him.
“who’s that?” Beau asked, emerging from the bathroom in his
boxers, a sight you quite enjoyed.
“no idea.” You replied, reaching over to the night table and
checking your phone.
You unlocked your phone, only to see something you did not
expect at all. A new message from the last person on earth you expected.
“it’s uh, it’s from Nash.” You said, shocked.
Beau climbed into bed, pulling you into him so you guys were
“like your ex Nash? What did he say?”
“yeah him. And he just said he missed me. I’m not even going
to reply. I’m just going to go change my number in the morning.” I said,
clicking out of my messages.
“no don’t. I know it’s not ideal, but I mean, you should
text him back. You know, give him some closure or something.” Beau smiled.
“you’re not mad?”
“why would I be? I mean, I’ve got you now. Even though he
fucked up, he still deserves some closure. Thing about it babe, this is the
first you guys have talked in like 6 months.”
“okay. You’re the best. I love you.” You smiled, turning and
kissing his lips lazily.
To Nash: It’s been 6
months Nash. I think you’re fine.
From Nash: I’m not
fine. These past 6 months hae been hell. I miss you so muvh babt.
“he’s drunk.” You told Beau.
“drunk or not, he still has feeling babe. Just, let him say
what he has to say. I know this is what you’ve wanted for months now.”
“what have I wanted?” you asked, confused. You didn’t want
anything from Nash. You loved Beau now, so you were confused.
“you want answers, and now’s your chance to get some.”
To Nash: well, that’s
not really my problem.
From Nash: I knoww. I
To Nash: can I ask you
From Nash: of course.
To Nash: okay,
firstly. Why’d you do it? Were you not happy with me? Cause if not, you should
have broke up with me before.
From Nash: no. fuck
no. I was happy with you. It’s just on tour I felt held back. Like everyone
else was out having great times and I just felt like I couldn’t cause of yoi.
To Nash: you could
have just talked to me, instead of ignoring me and then cheating on me.
From Nash: I know. Can
I ask you something.
To Nash: sure.
From Nash: are you
happy? With bo ? nd evrithing else in oyur life?
To Nash: Beau* but
yeah. I am happy with him. And my modeling is really taking off.
From Nash: I’m glad
your work iz good. Bo is lucki
To Nash: Beau*
From Nash: right. I’m
To Nash: it’s fine. Lots
of people spell it wrong.
From Nash: no. not for
the name. For everything else. For the lies, and cheating. I regret it all. I still
care about you, but if you’re happi then I’m happi for you.
To Nash: why?
From Nash: I already told
you. I felt held back.
To Nash: no, not that.
Like why now? Why are you apologizing now? 6 months later? I wanted an apology
like a week after, maybe a month, but 6 months later? I thought maybe we could
be statistics, remain friends after the breakup, but 6 months later?
From Nash: it’s just. I
wanted to be friends. I just needed to figure things out.
To Nash: by sleeping
with other girls?
From Nash: that makes
it sound bad.
To Nash: cause it was
bad Nash. It hurt so much knowing while I was laying around hurting, you were
out, happy as can be.
From Nash: funny.
To Nash: what’s funny
From Nash: no, not
that, it’s just funny how things change.
To Nash: what do you
From Nash: it’s funny
how now, I’m the one hurting, and you’re happy as can be.
To Nash: what?
From Nash: It hurts
knowing you’re falling asleep in someone else’s arms, and waking up next to
them every morning now…
I’m hoping I don’t grow anymore because I’m currently 5"2 and I wanna stay short because being short means you can ask that cute guy from the store to get that cereal box down from the shelf and when he doesn’t, climb onto the shelf and tip it over so you can sue him for not helping you.
a/n: I rewrote this so many times. I’m still not a 100% sure how I feel about this. But uh yeah, here’s part 2. Enjoy
It’s been a week since Nash had texted me for the first time
since the breakup. The rest of the week he would text me. Three or four times
in a row, long messages, only for me to reply with one sentence.
I was currently over at Beau’s with him and the rest of the boys.
The TCA’s were tonight, and we were going, obviously. I was actually one of the
people to present someone with their award.
The boys had their ‘suits’ which were really just painted on
their chest. I on the other hand was wearing a red strapless dress. It was
tight around top and then flared at my hips. It was a good inch or two above
midthigh, showing off my legs, which was one of my best assets. And then with
that, I wore black converse. I had on subtle makeup, winged eyeliner, a little
blush, and my long hair sat in loose waves.
The whole way there, the boys made fun of my shoe choice,
saying how it was odd that I’d be wearing converse when every other girl there
would be in heels. Beau defended me though, saying how the one time I wore heels,
he had to catch me at least 4 times from falling.
We were walking the carpet. Interviewers stopping us and
asking questions. The boys got a lot of questions about Janoskian stuff, and I
got some on my modeling. A lot of people asked for me and Beau to pose
together, which we did, but they’d all be ruined by the other boys.
There was a lot of commotion behind us, and we all looked.
Down the carpet walked Nash, Jack and Jack, Nate, and all the other boys I grew
so close to over the past 2 years. I saw Johnson and smiled and waved at him
and he looked at me and smiled. He came over and gave me a hug and we talked a
bit before we had to keep going.
“hey, I’ll see ya in there.” Johnson smiled before kissing
my cheek and walking back to the boys who all smiled and waved at me.
I made eye contact with Nash and he mouthed ‘we need to
talk’ and I just rolled my eyes before taking Beaus hand and following him into
The show had started, and I was backstage getting ready to
present. I was presenting teen choice male web star. And the nominees were Cam,
Nash and a few others. But I really hoped Cam would win, or any of the others.
Any but Nash.
After Fifth Harmony performed, I walked out on the stage
with Justin Bieber. Cheers erupting from the crowd.
“what’s up everyone.” Justin said into the mic while I said
“hi” and everyone screamed.
“yo, this is so incredible, I can’t believe I’m presenting
an award with the most beautiful girl, (y/n)” he said, throwing his arm over my
Me and Justin have been friends ever since we did a Calvin
Klein photoshoot together, and then he asked me to be in one of his music
videos too. So I have no complaints.
I looked out in the crowd to see Beau. He was just standing
up with the rest of the boys just clapping nonstop and I couldn’t help but
“well I can’t believe I’m here presenting an award with the
one and only Justin Bieber, am I right girls?”
And the place filled with screams. Justin and I couldn’t
help but laugh as I pulled his shirt up just a bit to expose his abs causing
“alright, alright, I think it’s time we announce the
nominees.” Justin said. He announced the
first two and then I announced Cameron and Nash.
“alright, and this years teen choice for favorite male web
star is…” I read, and opened the enveloped.
“Nash Grier!” Justin said happily, but mine was a little
less ecstatic than it should have been. My face fell flat.
Nash came up to the stage and ‘bro hugged’ Justin and then
came up to me. I handed him the surfboard and he held it in one arm while he
wrapped his other around me.
“we really need to talk.” He whispered in my ear.
I just ignored him and pulled away from the hug that
lingered a bit too long on his end.
“congrats” Justin and I both said.
“oh my gosh thank you guys so much.” Nash started. “I never
imagined getting an award, let alone having it given to me by Justin, the
greatest artist, and (y/n). I mean, just look at her. I’m feeling truly
“I just wanna give a special thanks to all my fans. Without
you I wouldn’t be here today. I can’t believe I won. Really, thank you guys so
much. I would also like to thank a few special people, like my parents, for
always supporting me. And my friends who helped me and have always been there.
Shout out to you guys. And I also wanna thank one more person. She stood by my
side for 2 years and put up with all my shit. She was my best friend, and I
couldn’t have done anything without her. She always pushed me to do my best and
would make me stop whenever we went out to talk to fans.”
The crowd started to scream and say our old ship name.
“but yeah. She was great. So I’d really like to thank (y/n)
along with my friends and family and of course my fans.”
Everyone screamed when Nash actually said my name. I just
turned and walked off the stage, walking around backstage through all the
performers and people who would be presenting awards.
“(Y/n)” you heard Nash’s voice. You ignored it and kept
“(y/n) wait.” Nash said. He had finally caught up to you and
grabbed your arm in a hallway backstage.
“what Nash?” you yelled. Tears filled your eyes. This was
the first time you have actually seen him in person in like 9 months,
considering the last 3 months of your relationship with him he was on tour.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“what could you possibly have to say Nash? I thought you
said everything you needed to in our breakup.”
“look. I’m sorry. You’ve gotta believe me.” He said. By now
I had tears in my eyes, threatening to come out.
“I was on tour and I loved meeting the fans and the guys all
seemed to have so much fun going out and all that stuff, and I just felt like I
couldn’t go out and have fun with the guys an-“ he started but I cut him off.
“no Nash. I don’t want your excuses. I’m sick and tired of
hearing the same bullshit from you.” Tears started to fall now.
“why are you crying?” he asked, going to pull me into a hug,
but I pushed him away.
“do you know how hard
it was? For you to give your all to someone. To devote yourself to them completely.
Just to have them turn around and just throw it away. I loved you Nash. I
fucking wasted 2 years of my life on you. I hadn’t seen you in almost a year.
It’s been 9 months since I saw you last, and you come back now all of a sudden.
Giving me the ‘I’m sorry’ ‘baby she meant nothing’ ‘it was just an accident’
bullshit in person. I can’t fucking handle it Nash.” I said as I slid down the
wall, putting my head in my hands.
“I gave my everything to you Nash, and it’s like it didn’t
matter. You know I had such big plans for us. I dreamed of us getting married.
On the beach somewhere cause that was always your favorite place to go. And
then kids together. We always talked about having kids together when we were
older. I was so sure we would be together forever. You promised we would, we
discussed names all the time, and then you went and cheated on me Nash.”
“I’m sorry. You’ve gotta believe me.” He said sitting next
to me and putting his hand on my knee.
“do you know what it’s like. For someone not to love you
anymore? To love someone so much, and for them to feel nothing for you.” I
“don’t say that. I loved you. It was an accident (y/n)”
“no. You don’t just ‘accidently’ cheat on someone you love.”
“I didn’t mean for any of this. You have to believe me.”
“After it first happened my life was hell. And then here I am
6 months later, finally happy and so in love. I finally found someone to pick
up all those broken little pieces you left behind. Someone finally put me all
back together and then you text me out of nowhere telling me you miss me. And
then tonight? What the fuck was that bullshit?”
“honestly? What the hell Nash? ‘I’d like to thank her.’ ‘she
always supported me’ ‘she was great’ damn right I supported you. Hell yeah I
put up with your shit. That’s the kinda things you do when you love someone.
You know, after our breakup, I never felt more insecure than I did. I thought I
wasn’t good enough. I didn’t give you enough. But looking at it all now it was
the other way.”
“You forgot my birthday, our anniversary, everything
important. You just ‘oops, I forgot?’ really? You didn’t give a shit.”
“hey don’t say that
shit. You know damn well I gave an effort. You think it was easy? Touring and
dating? Especially someone so clingy?”
“are you kidding me? Clingy? Really? I was the clingy one? I
HAD NO FUCKING PROBLEM WITH YOU GOING OUT WITH THE GUYS AND FUCKING EMILY AND
STASSIE AND ALL THEIR FRIENDS WHO LETS NOT FORGET YOU ALWAYS SEEMED A LITTLE TO
FRIENDLY WITH. NO FUCKING PROBLEM WITH IT. BUT THE SECOND I HANG OUT WITH
JOHNSON WITHOUT YOU YOU FLIP SHIT AND ACCUSE ME OF CHEATING. ME. Isn’t it funny
how it was actually you all along cheating.”
“it happened once.”
“and was it worth it? Was that one time worth throwing
everything we had away?” I asked, turning to look at him. His eyes saddened and
he looked down.
“no.” he mumbled. “I regret it every day. I miss what we
had. And I’d go back and change it all in a minute.”
“well, you can’t. you did what you did and you’ll have to
live with that.” I said, getting up.
“wait.” He said, jumping up and grabbing my wrist.
“I just can’t watch you leave.”
“well you’re gonna have too. Like I sat back and watched you
leave.” I pulled my wrist out of his grasp and turned to walk away.
“I didn’t leave you!” he yelled after me, causing me to stop
in my tracks. I turned around and face him, my blood boiling.
“you didn’t leave? Really Nash?”
“you did Nash. You left me all the time for tour, to go out
with your boys, fan meet ups, parties, where girls were always all over you.
You would leave me, alone at home on the couch to go out with the boys, or what
about the time you literally left in the middle of dinner cause G had ‘something
important’ to show you, but you ended up going to a party?”
“okay, yeah I did do that, and I realize that it was a
shitty thing to do, but you keep pointing out everything I did wrong, but lets
not forget about all the good things I did.”
“because none of that matters now Nash!”
“yes it does. Tell me. Has Beau left a trail of rose petals
down the hall to the Jacuzzi tub with candles around it with your favorite
sweet, chocolate covered strawberries on the side? Does he lay in bed with you
when you’re on your period? Rub your stomach, get you ice cream, flaming hot Cheetos,
“nice try Nash, but he does, and so much more.” I said,
going to walk away.
“wait.” He called out.
“Really? What now Nash?” I said, rolling my eyes.
“do you love him?” He asked. I looked in his eyes and they
were full of sadness.
“yes. I do.”
“and he makes you happy?”
“everyday” I smile, just thinking of Beau.
Nash closes his eyes and takes a breath and I see him turn
and walk away. I’m left standing there, more than confused. We went from
fighting and yelling at each other and then he suddenly calms down and leaves?
Deciding to not let him leave me hanging again, like he did
9 months ago, I followed him, weaving in and out of people backstage.
Unfortunately for me, I lost him in the crowd. I let out a huff, annoyed with
him and this whole situation, and walked back out to my seat with Beau. We sat
and talked while the rest of the show went on. I told him about what happened
with Nash, and although he’s rarely ever serious, he was so helpful listening
and giving me input.
At the end of the show, everyone cheered, and eventually people
started to leave. Walking back out and stopping to talk to some fans and taking
some pictures with them. On our way out though, we ran into Jack and Jack, and
Beau and the boys stopped to talk to them.
In the middle of the conversation my attention was taken
away when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Nash?
“hey.” He said, avoiding eye contact.
“oh now you wanna talk?”
“listen, I came here to apologize. About earlier. I uh, didn’t
mean to freak out like that. I just, I’m glad you’re happy. With Beau. Like, I’m
glad you’re finally happy, and I really do wish you the best. I’m really sorry
about everything.” He said.
“uh, thank you.” I smiled, a little shocked by the whole
He pulled me into a hug and kissed my head. Then pulled
away. We looked at each other and he just nodded.
“I’ll uh, hopefully see you around.” He said, turning and
leaving with Skate.
Suddenly Beau wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into
his side, kissing my temple while he talked with the Jacks about doing
something together, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how content I was.
I got my closure. I got my answers. And here I am, happy as
ever, with the love of my life, and I have my friends. It really couldn’t get