The Witch's House:
Oh look, the dresser killed you. And the clock. And the tadpole. And the book. And the fountain. And the knife flying out of nowhere. And breathing.
I know Father killed several innocents, and tortured them in the process, and turned puppies into soup, and bombed an orphanage, and leaked spoilers, and stole all the Yu-Gi-Oh cards in Target, and put the soda into the microwave... But he's a good person!
...Yeah, I don't care that my classmates are dead. They were assholes. This place isn't even scar- OH GOD IT'S A PHONE
Mario - The Music Box:
*Luigi waving a cross at Mario's head* OUT OF THIS HOUSE! OUT OF THIS HOUSE! Spirits begone from this house!
The Crooked Man:
I need to find this guy... Even though I could've just asked who he was. Instead I'll just travel across the country and reflect on my miserable life... And blindly follow addresses on vague notes.
Dude, I am TRIPPING right now. And my classmates are assholes again.
Killing innocent people by the dozens and gaslighting the survivors? Ha, what a dweeb.
*insert generic Scooby Doo running montage music here*
Everyone you love is going to suffer, die, then suffer some more. Forever. And it's all your fault. But hey at least this girl is gay
luigi being a sweet carefree character who loves his bro
luigi having a bit of depth, wanting to be like his bro, being terrified of ghosts and other things but braving it to save the people he loves!!
LUIGI BEING BRAINWASHED AND MADE TO FIGHT HIS BRO AND LITERALLY BEING KILLED AND SENT TO HELL AND BEING A MAJOR PART OF A DARK PROPHECY THAT’LL WIPE OUT ALL EXISTENCE, AND BEING BRAINWASHED AGAIN AND FORCED INTO A TWISTED FUSION TO FULLFILL THAT PROPHECY AND THEN HAVING TO DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS AFTERWARDS