"I don't want you" nalu
Word Count; 552
A/N; Angst angst angst.
“I don’t want you.”
Natsu watched Lucy take a step back, eyes wide and lip trembling, as if he had actually hit her. Natsu’s stomach turned at the thought. Hurting Lucy was something he could never imagine doing, and yet it was what he seemed to constantly do. In fact he was doing it right now.
“You’re lying.” Lucy whispered. She seemed to be mustering all the courage that she could, but Natsu could still see the trickle of fear in her chocolate gaze. And it killed him. Didn’t she know he was lying, that he didn’t mean it? Was he really so horrible that she doubted her place in his life?
“No, I’m not. I don’t want you. As my lover, my partner, my friend. Nothing.” Natsu said, voice hard and low. He was impressed his voice didn’t break, that all the emotions and fear that he held inside weren’t spilling out of his very pores.
“You’re lying,” she repeated, hands balling into fists beside her. Natsu watched as all doubt was burned from her eyes, soul flaring wild and hot and angry.
“I’m not lying Lucy, gods, can’t you get it through that pretty skull of yours? You mean nothing to me.”
Natsu looked away. He couldn’t watch her as she cried anymore, couldn’t watch how his words cut her. It was the only way, if he made her hate him then she wouldn’t be sad when he died. Either by the cancer his brother’s experiments had put in him or Zeref’s hand itself, it didn’t matter. Nastu was going to die, and he’d rather go to hell than drag her soul down with him.
Natsu stepped back with a gasp, cheek throbbing with Lucy had slapped him. He touched a finger to the burning skin, gaping at Lucy. She’d hit him.
Gods did he love her.
“Stop lying.” Lucy snarled, crowding into his space, eyes bright and furious as she looked up at him. “You’re a terrible liar.” she spat.
Natsu pressed his lips into a thin line, trying to glare down at her. He had to keep this mask on. It was for the best. It had to be.
They stared at one another, tense and challenging, willing the other to back down. Natsu snapped his gaze away when he realized neither were going to cave. It was good to know his stubbornness had rubbed off on her.
“Why can’t you just hate me?” Natsu mumbled under his breath, rubbing at his temple as he closed his eyes. He should’ve known this was a stupid plan. When did Lucy ever abandon a friend?
He looked up at the ceiling, water stains discoloring the wooden beams several feet above them, Lucy’s arms tight as she crushed her body against his. “Because I love you.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Lucy said, squeezing hard enough for Natsu to feel his ribs shift inside him. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly as he buried his nose in the top of her hair. Despair clutched at his heart. He had to live for her, he couldn’t just leave her now. “We’ll figure something out, Natsu. I’m not letting you go.”
It would have been so much easier if she just hated him.
“I love you too.”