luck 10

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this past weeks bujo entry. inspired by Le Petit Prince, i used a rose i recently pressed to decorate the page. i’m also kind of obsessed with this new design heavily inspired by the wonderful @vestiblr !! i hope you all had a good week, and good luck on finals week for the other UC students out here!!

Introductions

Summary: Punk!Phil introduces pastel!Dan to his friends, and he has a great reception. (thanks for the internet dating/meeting of friends prompt from an anon!)

Genre: sin

Word Count: 4.1k

Includes: voyeurism (truth or dare style!), praisekink!dan, short!dan, online relationship/meeting for the first time, and a bit of spooning at the end for an anon who wanted it

Keep reading

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Lithops! 😄

Western philosophers rated by fightability

Kant - You are in a town in Prussia. A frail looking man accosts you. He knows you know who he is. And he knows that you can see the glint in his eye that says the beating that he’s about to deliver unto you is going to be universalised. 8/10, it’s gonna get Copernican. 

Hume - A jovial looking Scottish man approaches. Despite his large frame and somewhat soft appearance you… you… uh, what? Is he here? Are you here? Is this, is this just a bundle of sense data? Somewhere, however in some small recess of your brain - if that’s a thing, you know he’s barrelling towards you at incredible speed. 9/10, this is going to hurt. Without doubt. 

Camus - You’re in a café. You think. It sounds like one, but all you can see is smoke and all you can smell is (other than smoke) deep thought. A man approaches. He smiles. Fighting you would be absurd, he explains, in beautiful floral French. You talk a while, about life, love, his work and honestly he just melts your heart. Fade to black. You awake the next morning refreshed and ready to continue fighting. 2/10, he left money on the sidetable. How rude. 

Sartre - You make your way onto a bustling Parisian street. You think. Again, it sounds like one but there’s a still strictly ludicrous amount of smoke. It parts like the red sea. A bespectacled man approaches. He looks at you, and you know that while this man may not know himself, he knows how to fight you. The smoke envelopes you once more. He’s coming. 9/10, hell is this fight in particular.

Žižek - You’re in a fast food restaurant car park in Slovenia, and so on. You are bizarrely aware of the nature of society as you sniff. You don’t have a cold. For some reason you keep thinking about batman. The Soviet national anthem begins to play as a bedraggled man emerges from a bin and lurches towards you and so on. 7/10, the ideology may be pure but this fight is going to get dirty.

Diogenes of Sinope - You’re in a barrel. Masturbating. You reckon you could get used to this. Maybe you’ll go and interrupt a lecture later. Suddenly, the barrel is rolling. Someone yells at you in the most vulgar greek to stop cramping his fucking style. Oh, right. You get up, out of the barrel and lock eyes with the also masturbating Diogenes. In his free hand he wields a plucked chicken like a flail. 9.5/10, behold, a boss battle.

The Trinity - The notion of disrupting a lecture still appeals, so you head down the road to the academy. Before you arrive, you are manhandled into an alley and out and up onto the acropolis. It seems all of Athens has assembled. As you are shoved into… a wrestling ring, the crowd begins to roar derision at you. From the opposite corner approaches a man they bill as the Macedonian Menace. Zeus alive, you already know that syllogistically he’s going to beat your ass. The crowd roars even louder for some reason, and a second man enters the ring. It’s Plato. He roars and cracks an amphora of oil over his head. The crowd goes ballistic. He screams something about the form of the ass whooping. You cower. As if that weren’t enough, a third much older and frailer man approaches, and the two assembled part deferentially. Hovering about a foot above the floor of the ring is Socrates. I was wrong, he says - but more as a thought in your head than a vocalisation, I know one thing. He pauses for effect. The crowd is still. You’re fucking dead. 30/10, good luck.

8. Put coins above your front door to bring prosperity into your home.

9. Cook Black eyed peas on New Years Day for Good Luck.

10. Itching palms are a sign of coming money.

11. Don’t put your purse on the floor or you’ll stay broke.

12. Fish dreams mean someones pregnant.

13. Splitting the pole brings bad luck.

14. Ringing in the ear/ jumping in the eye means someones talking about you

via mama & Grandma

Hercules: I’m going to ask out Lafayette!

Alexander: Good luck!

*Hercules comes back 10 seconds later*

Alexander: So?

Hercules: HE SMILED AT ME AND I FROZED UP!

Alexander: You can’t be serious!

nidorhino  asked:

okay so like on a scale of 1-10..how good of an idea is it to get an eel as a first saltwater aquarium? i have p good experience with freshwater but like saltwater is.. a whooole different ballgame

Assuming you’re referring to a snowflake eel then I’d say it’s a pretty good idea! I’d rate it as like a 7-8 out of 10. Next to damsels, clownfish, cardinals, and chromis it’s probably one of the better saltwater fish for beginners. 

As long as your tank is large enough and the lid fits tightly, a snowflake eel is a good fish to start with. They’re pretty hardy and can stand some water fluctuations.  

Only a few things make it more difficult than the above-mentioned fish:

Ability to escape. They slither out of tanks, jump out of buckets etc. 

Getting into bad places: I use zip ties and craft netting to block off certain areas of the tank where I don’t want her to go. They also dig and will pile up sand everywhere. 

Feeding: gotta feed it raw seafood. I am strongly against direct hand feeding and i would recommend getting an extendable claw thing like I have: 

or using skewers. (lots of people will feed with their hands, I think it’s bad because eels have bad vision and might bite and it also teaches them to associate hands with food so have fun trying to clean the tank lmao)

Picky eaters: Sometimes they’ll just stop eating. Like for months. It’s weird and it’s kinda stressful for the aquarist but the eels are usually ok. Sometimes they’ll just eat all of their tankmates. Sometimes they’ll just eat one type of food despite needing a varied diet (noodle only likes octopus). 

As long as you’re ready to deal with that I’d say you’re ready for a snowflake eel. They’re really fun to watch and I love mine <3

The Akatsuki Texting

Let’s pretend that the Akatsuki stuck around long enough to see mobile phones being introduced into the Naruto world. How would each of them text?

1. Pein: Sets a signature and doesn’t realize it

Pein: “Konan, make sure that everyone knows how to send me their weekly report via text I am god.”

Pein: “Oh and if you can bring me a coffee too, that would be great I am god.”

Konan: “Do you have a signature for texting?”

Pein: “What’s that? I am god.”

2. Konan: Uses emoticons a lot

Konan: “ /(・ × ・)\ “

Pein: “What is that supposed to mean? I am god.”

Konan: “It’s a bunny!! (^ _ ^)/ “

Pein: “Oh. Very nice Konan. I am god.”

3. Deidara: Spams people

Deidara: “Hey”

Deidara: “Hey”

Deidara: “Hey”

Sasori: “WHAT do you want you idiot?”

Deidara: “Your art sucks get a real hobby.”

4. Sasori: Doesn’t reply for days

Pein: “Sasori did you manage to get that scroll I asked about? I am god.”

Pein: “….. I am god.”

Sasori: “Yea”

Pein: “I sent that 5 days ago it doesn’t matter anymore. I am god.”

5. Hidan: Doesn’t care about grammar

Hidan: “Ur a fucgucking asshol get a lif”

Kakuzu: “What the…what the hell does that even say?!”

Hidan: “fcuk u jerk shitty asswipe monee loviing pice of shit”

Kakuzu: “Don’t ever text me again.”

6. Kakuzu: Tries to scam people

Kakuzu: “Your bank account has been hacked into. Please provide us with your login and PIN so we can fix this issue for you.”

Kisame: “Kakuzu I saved your number onto my phone I know it’s you”

Kakuzu: “Please provide us with your login and PIN so we can fix this issue for you.”

Kisame: “That means no.”

7. Kisame: Uses it for it’s intended purpose…only

Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”

Pein: “Ok. I am god.”

Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”

Pein: “Ok. I am god.”

Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”

Pein: “Ok. I am god.”

8. Itachi: Sends chain messages to Sasuke

Itachi: “If you love your brother send this to TEN PEOPLE. If you don’t then you will have BAD LUCK for the next 10 years!!”

Sasuke: “Itachi….”

Itachi: “YOU HAVE JUST BEEN VISITED BY THE FAMILY ANGEL! Pass this on to five people and you will be loved for the rest of your life!”

Sasuke: “Itachi stop.”

9. Tobi: Send anonymous hate since no one saved his number

???: “You are the worst leader I have ever had the misfortune to take orders from.”

Pein: “WHO IS THIS? I am god.”

???: “Your hair looks stupid.”

Hidan: “I AM GIONG TO DUCKING KILL WHOEVR THIS IS.”

???: “Samehada doesn’t really love you.”

Kisame: “You are a cruel, heartless person who doesn’t deserve happiness.”

10. Zetsu: Uses it once a year to send a mass text

Zetsu: “Happy national tree day.”

Konan: “You too.”

???: “I’m gonna chop down a tree today.”

Kisame: “Right back at ya Zetsu.”