lowers take over

anonymous asked:

What's the lettuce thing about?

Alright, so. Get ready for weirdness, because Egyptian mythology has a lot of that.

One of the most prominent and foundational myths of ancient Egypt is how the god Osiris was killed and dismembered by his brother Set (in some accounts, after an affair with Set’s sister-wife, Nepthys, who then gave birth to Anubis), put back together by his sister-wife Isis, then made the god of the afterlife. When she was piecing her husband back together, she found all but one of the fourteen chunks of him that had been scattered across Egypt by an enraged Set. That chunk would be his penis. But never fear, for Isis is the goddess of fertility, so she made her husband a new one out of wood (thus explaining why embalmers would make false ones for the actual dead). So completed, she rode him and became impregnated with a son, Horus (the Falcon, not to be confused with Horus the Elder, the Hawk, who was these four’s presumably-long-suffering brother). Osiris then went off to be ruler of the dead somewhere in the vicinity of the stars we call Orion, leaving the question of who was to rule the land of the living - his elder brother and semi-justified murderer Set, or his legitimate yet posthumous  son Horus?

This brings us to The Contendings of Horus and Set, which is ostensibly an epic battle of order vs chaos, but mostly involves a lot of letter-writing and whinging back and forth between the gods because some liked Horus (who was the last king’s son and generally a guy who liked order and not usually killer [except that one time when Isis got too involved and actually wounded Set herself which Horus was not about for some reason and so decapitated her] ) and some liked Set (who was powerful and experienced and had good relations with foreign powers [being that he was the god in charge of them] and had proven himself to be a great protector to Ra against Actual Evil God Apophis and his night demons and whatnot). There were a lot of pointless squabbles between the two involving weird god things like who could hippopotamus better or build ships out of stone (spoiler alert: Set actually built his ship from the top of a goddamn mountain and managed to make it float long enough to get halfway down the river, Horus just made his from pine when no one was looking and just plastered the thing to look like stone. Who was the better dude in that one? You decide.). One time Horus got his eye ripped out and Set lost his testicles - an incident which involved what is probably the oldest recorded pick-up line in history: “How lovely your backside is. How broad your thighs.“ Smooth, uncle Set. Smooth.

Anyway, after eighty years of this the supreme god version of Ra got tired of their shenanigans and told them to lay off for at least one night, for all of their sakes. Set looks at Horus and goes, “Yeah let’s do this thing. Party, my house, tonight.” Horus looks at Set and thinks, “Seems legit.”

So they go party at Set’s house. Just them and the servants and lots of honey and beer and the single bed made up all nice just for them. Halfway through the night, Set rolls over and puts his dick between Horus’ thighs. (Er, depending on the time period you’re reading the myth from, this act is either consensual or not. It mostly depends on how vilified Set is by whichever cult’s in power at the time. In any case, Horus is awake and unrestrained for this.) Horus catches the semen in his hands, and when he gets home in the morning shows his mother. Who promptly freaks out, cuts his hands off to toss into the Nile, fashions him new hands of clay, and then jacks her son off into a pot.

I could not make this up.

This is where The Lettuce Thing comes in. The lettuce species that the ancient Egyptians had was a long, hard stalk that secreted a white, milky substance when cracked and squeezed. So you can see where they would get the idea that it was a phallic aphrodisiac. Well, it so happens that when Isis went to Set’s house, she found out from his gardener that Set loved eating lettuce every day. You know where this is going. Now, I’d like to point out that she didn’t just randomly overhear this and got a wicked idea. No. No, she went and asked outright what Set’s favourite food was, because she was gonna give Set a taste of his own (or well, her son’s) medicine no matter what.

Fast forward to the next court session, and Set - being the asshole that we know and love - decides to announce to the room at large that he should get the throne, because he totally tops. Well, being that ancient Egypt was a highly patriarchal society it - like most ancient cultures - looked down on the receivers in male-male relationships. But while everyone’s boo-hissing at Horus, he just calmly requests a Magical Pregnancy Test for both his and Set’s semen. They do it, and Set’s shows up somewhere in the river (wherever Horus’ old hands are), which perplexes Set and somehow doesn’t phase anyone else. Then they test Set, and lo and behold Horus’ seed reacts from within him!

In very old versions of the myth, this is where the god Thoth is born from Set’s forehead. In others, it’s Thoth performing the test and so the semen emerges in the form of golden disc, which Thoth promptly takes and puts on his own head as a crown. *shrug* Egyptian mythology is a weird case where a jillion different cults formed, then came together, then fought/reformed/vilified/reconciled/destroyed/assimilated one another over millennia, so the origins and motives are a bit wonky. Thoth is one of those deities that had been worshiped before writing was even a thing [although writing became his Thing], and so has many conflicting origin stories - mostly he just seems to appear at some point due to the power of his own voice. I like to think that, since he is also a master of Time, that Thoth may have actually created Himself in that instance, but his presence got spread out through time - back far enough into the beginning that he could trick the moon into giving up five extra non-month days each year, so that Nut could birth his parent-grandparents without repercussion.

But I’m getting ahead (behind?) myself. The point is, now all the gods think their Powerful Guy Set is a big fat bottom, which ~a king shouldn’t be~ and Set is all butthurt about his trick backfiring on him. He sulks off to the river, where he issues the stone boat challenge mentioned earlier but then his boat sinks and he rips up part of Horus’ and realizes that it’s just disguised wood, and it looks like the shenanigans will continue until someone gets the bright idea to just fucking write to the dead king about what his wishes were (apparently it’s Thoth who suggests this, which is why I buy the myth that this is when he was born, since why did no one else - even Isis who resurrected the guy - think of that? Finally, a god of Sense!). Osiris sends them a letter back to the effect of “What the fuck do you think my wishes are. If my son isn’t instated, my next gift basket will be an army of zombies, I swear to myself.”

The council is convinced.

Set’s put in chains and brought before them by a gloating Isis, but he cedes with as much grace as he has left. In most versions of the myth, he’s set free and reinstated as Ra’s bodyguard to thunder away happily in the desert, and in a few later ones (basically after Lower Egypt takes over Upper Egypt) he’s punished somehow, like being taken to the north and bound there by his other wife (in something rather similar to Loki’s fate with Sigyn). In some, he and Horus reconcile and even bless pharaohs together, tying their lotus and reed together around the living king as a symbol of unity and strength between Upper and Lower Egypt.

And that, dear Anon-chan, is The Ancient Egyptian Lettuce Thing.

Mine - KJ Apa imagine

Summary: You’re an actress from Riverdale and KJ secretly likes you.

Y/C/N: your character’s name


“So, moving on to the next subject. The new season brought flashbacks from a side of Jason’s life we didn’t know about: his relationship with Y/C/N. That means Trevor and Y/N have been recording a LOT of hot scenes” one of the reporters started, causing a little discomfort to grow into your stomach.

It was a fan convention, and not all the cast was there. Just you, Trevor, KJ, Camila, Lili and Cole.

“I guess” you answered, letting out a nervous laugh. Your cast friends looked at you compassionately. Most of them knew how embarrassing these types of questions were.

KJ, however, looked at you curiously, expecting to hear your thoughts on the subject.

“I bet it’s hard to keep the professionalism. I mean, you’re both extremely good looking” the reporter kept going.

You scratched the back of your neck. You wanted to curse that lady right there.

Calm down, you told yourself. She’s just doing her job.

“I mean, I’m a lucky guy. You pointed it out yourself, Y/N is a gorgeous girl. But that’s all. We’re actors” Trevor affirmed, trying to get you both out of that situation.

However, the reporter was far from done.

“So what you’re saying is that neither of you felt anything while kissing each other?”

You felt your face burn. Everybody’s eyes were on you, even Trevor’s. You clenched your jaw, mentally hitting him for looking at you like that. It sent a loud and clear message: he had a crush on you and was desperate to know if you indeed felt something while kissing him.

You let your eyes wander to meet KJ’s. He looked upset, even a little sad by your lack of response. You knew what it looked like: you weren’t saying anything because you actually had feelings for Trevor, which you didn’t.

You were silent because you didn’t want to hurt Trevor’s feelings. You did liked someone from the cast, but not him.

When you opened your mouth to say something, Cole intervened.

“So, Lili and I feel something when we kiss on scene”

The reporters were thrilled. They finally unfocused on you and Trevor and you breathed heavily, relieved.

Of course he was just joking to help you out. He and Lili were just friends, and it was easier for them to deal with people shipping them. You thanked god for Cole’s existence.

Later that day, you were picking up your stuff from the dressing room. The place was empty, except for you and KJ.

“So…” he started, but didn’t continue.


He cleared his throat. He was messing with his shirt, avoiding eye contact.

“I guess that was a yes, huh?” he said.

“What are you talking about?”

“When the reporter asked if you felt something while kissing each other you both went silent”

You ran your fingers through your hair.

“I know what it looked like, but that’s not it”

KJ finally looked at you. He was hurt and even a little angry.

“Really? Because what it looked like was that you’ve been playing with my feelings all this time, when you’re actually doing the same with your little boy Trevor”

You didn’t know what to feel. Your heart was beating faster because it was the first time he admitted his feelings for you. On the other hand, he was being an ass with all these assumptions about you.

You took a step back.

“So that’s how little you think of me?” your voice sounded hurt too. “KJ, I just didn’t want to break Trevor’s heart”

He was silent.

“You know what? I think I’m gonna go now. That’s enough for today” you lowered your eyes, sadness taking over you. When you turned your back to KJ, he gently pulled your arm and turned you around to face him again.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be an ass” he apologized. Your heart was racing and, since your chest was glued to KJ’s, you knew his heart was racing too. There was nothing between your faces but a thin line of air.

He moved his hands from your arms to your waist and tightened his grip a little bit. You stared at his brown eyes, silently, and he stared back at yours.

His gaze slowly moved from your eyes to your mouth. Then, finally, his lips crashed into yours.

“If this is you being an ass, I think you should do it more often” you whispered, laughing.

Good Morning, Best Morning

I am just really in the mood for more Malec fluff… So I wrote more…

There may be another version of this posted at a later time…

THANK YOU TO MY LOVELY PARABETA @sfjessii I promise you, she is amazing and helps me more than she knows! Thank you, dearest! <3 

Read it her on ao3: Good Morning, Best Morning

Alec is enjoying the gentle lips caressing over his abs, working their way over as much of Alec as they can, and honestly, there are few better ways to start a morning, in his opinion.

He looks down into the eyes of his boyfriend, the love of his life, and can’t help but smile, especially as Magnus runs his fingers along his sides, caressing, no, treasuring Alec’s skin. He lets out a content sigh and one of his hands makes it’s way to curl into the loose strands of Magnus’ hair.

Magnus’ lips make it back to where they initially began upon waking up, Alec’s lips. Soft and so kiss starved. Magnus takes in Alec’s lower lip before taking over his top, then he deepens the kiss, his fingers moving to caress Alec’s jaw, gently, his fingers relishing in morning scruff beneath them. “Mmmm… Good Morning.” He whispers against Alec’s lips.

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Mood II

Originally posted by daddy-deanfluenza

Genre: Drabble/smut/fluff
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Summary: Over-worked Dean needs a relaxation time with you… PART2

Check part 1 HERE.

Dean watched how your feline like eyes raised back at his. With no further words you moved and straddled into his lap, legs either side of him. Hyuk’s hands settled on your hips, holding you close.
“You don’t need to tell me that twice.” You whispered into his ear, feeling how the small smirk raised in his face. You moved your hands up to his face, taking the bucket hat off. You watched with admiration as your boyfriends tired but ever so beautiful face came into better view.

Taking hold of his cheeks you leaned in, your lips meeting in gentle but urgent need. Hyuk closed his eyes, the feeling of your lips intoxicating him more than any alcohol could ever do. You felt him kiss back in urgent need, the kiss becoming deeper with each second. His tongue slide into your mouth receiving small moan in return. Hyuk’s hands gripped your hips tightening his hold even more. The way your chest pressed against his was good sign making him to rise up from the couch. Laying you down on it and his body pressed against yours never breaking the kiss.

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Luna seems to be the first main Yu-Gi-Oh! female that doesn’t have her most noticeable physical feature being her chest. Instead, (based on the first picture) it is her legs. This made me wonder how tall Luna grew to be and here is what I decided:

For starters, Leo and Luna look to be about the same height. Since there’s a good full body shot of Leo in the second image, we can use this to help too. Just like with Luna, Leo has extremely long legs, and it must run in the family.

Using the first. second and third images, both Leo and Luna‘s hips are way higher than the seat height is (the lowest portion of the bike where you sit).

The average for a motorcycle is 28-32 inches. However, both Leo and Luna’s legs appear to be much longer than that, so we can say that the seat height is much more than that too. 37 inches seems more than fair, but the seat in the first and third pictures are only just above her knee. Include the extra height of Luna’s legs (up to just below the red line in her outfit) and her lower half is about 50 inches (which makes sense, since both of the twins have their lower half taking up over half their height).

For the top half, we can use the last picture. The average height of a woman’s head is 8.5 inches (not including hair) and nothing about Luna’s head implies it’s any different. Measuring, it’s about 3.5 heads, so (8.5*3.5=about 30 inches).

30+50=80 inches, so Luna and Leo both grew to be about 6′8″ or about 203 cm tall.

Apollo pt. 7

Apollo Masterlist

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Writer blocks can be really frustrating, and sometimes having a “muse” doesn’t really help either. - Specially when your inspiration might not be there with you forever. ModernAU!

Warnings: None

Words: 3975

A/N: My angst game is getting weak. Halp. Shit this gif fits so fucking well with the situation I just

Originally posted by coporolight

“Where it began
I can’t begin to knowing
But then I know
It’s growing strong”

Bucky sang along, music playing on his head, feet cold, dirty, and wet from the long walk he decided to take from his house to Steve’s.

He wasn’t drunk, but he still felt numb; he wasn’t hurt, but he could hear his heart cracking inside him; he was also shivering, but it wasn’t because of the rain pouring on him.

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anonymous asked:

What's going on with Marvels comics this time?

Okay, so this guy who called himself “The Whisperer” who claims to be a Marvel Comics employee dumped a crap load of company dirt onto reddit. Once those rumors surfaced Bleeding Cool ran an article about how it was all crap. And then the rumor leak guy fired back that Rich, the administrator of Bleeding Cool, got paid by Marvel to write the article debunking his rumors. Honestly the entire thing is like a soap opera.

I mean I shouldn’t find this stuff interesting, normally I don’t, I stay away from gossip sites for a reason (and that reason is most of it’s torrid and exaggerated) but as someone who’s worked in the market of business data and trends for twenty years I *have* been wondering why Disney hasn’t intervened with the comics division of Marvel when a) it’s going under, sales are way down and b) they’re ruining their brand with crap storytelling. So out of all of these ‘rumors’ the one I can actually believe is that Disney is staging an intervention and also toying with the possibility of moving Marvel Comics to Burbank, California in order to keep a closer eye on them all.

Anyway, the rumors that started the drama are copied and pasted under cut (and by pasting them here I am no way claiming or endorsing that they are in any way valid, they very well could be a bunch of crap) and I linked the Bleeding Cool article debunking some and taking credit for others above…

Keep reading

T-Shirt Reveal

Y/N giggles to herself as she finishes wrapping the various gifts, excited for everyone’s reactions later in the evening. She had been planning it for a couple of weeks now, and was getting nervous and excited to finally reveal all to everyone.

Joe walks in just as she’s tucking them away, eyes down on his phone.

“Hey, love. Zoe said they should be here soon.”

“They made pretty good time, then. Didn’t they?” She walks over to give him a quick kiss on the lips, brushing a hand through his hair.

“Guess that means more time for you both to giggle incoherently about who knows what.” Joe smiles down at her, tucking his phone into his pocket.

“Incoherent to you, maybe. But to us, its an entire conversation.”

“Girls. I’ll never understand them.”

“That’s the plan, babe.” She winks at him, moving past him to head to the front door as there’s a knock on it.

“Hellloo!” Oli greets, popping his head around the door.

“Why do you even knock, mate?” Joe questions, having followed Y/N. “You just waltz in anyways.”

“Polite thing to do, I suppose.” Oli shrugs, hugging Y/N hello. “Don’t want to just burst into your place.”

“Awe, aren’t you considerate.” She coos at him, jumping slightly as the front door swings open.

“I have arrived!” Caspar bellows, arms thrown into the air.

“You mean like that?” Joe points over at him, eyebrow raised.

“Huh?” Caspar lowers his arms, confusion taking over his face as the other three start laughing.

“Nevermind, buddy.” Joe pats his shoulder, moving to close the front door, but is stopped as Zoe starts calling down the hall towards him.

“Looks like everyone wanted to show up at once!” Y/N grins, her hands coming together in front of her, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Are you going to tell us why you’ve gathered all of us?” Oli asks, while Zoe and Alfie waltz through the door, talking a mile a minute at Joe and Caspar.

“In good time.” Y/N winks up at him, moving forward to say hello to Zoe and Alfie.

Later on, after dinner is done and cleaned up, they’re all sprawled across the living room, chatting about life.

“Alright, alright. Gift time!” Y/N announces, jumping up and running into the bedroom quickly.

“Gifts? We’re exchanging gifts?!” Caspar’s panicked voice echoes across the room, and she shakes her head as she reenters, the packages she had wrapped earlier in her arms.

“Nope. Just a little something for a few special people.” She explains, handing out the gifts to the correct people.

“What are you up to, love?” Joe looks from the package to her, shifting forward on the couch, letting it sit on his lap.

“Just open it. All of you. Come on!” Y/N stands in front of them, smiling at all of them as they start to tear at the wrapping. Caspar frees his first, always excited to open a present.

“A shirt?” He lifts it up, letting it fall open so he can read the text. “Wait..what?” His eyes grow wide as he looks over at Y/N.

But she’s not looking at him right then, instead her eyes are focused on Joe, watching his eyes scan the shirt before he lifts them to meet hers.

“Are you serious?” His voice is soft, and Y/N nods, bitting her lip, suddenly very nervous. “Oh my gods!” Joe jumps off the couch, pulling her into a tight hug.

“I’m going to be an auntie!” Zoe squeals, holding the shirt against her, so the words Best Auntie Ever are exposed.

Y/N rests her head on Joe’s chest, his arms still around her, as they look at their friends.

“Cheers, Y/N.” Alfie chuckles, turning his shirt to show the words I’m the Pointless uncle with a Blog.

“This is awesome!” Oli grins as he holds his up, a cactus wearing sunglasses with the words I’m the cool uncle next to it.

“What does yours say, Caspar?” Joe nods at his friend, who’s still sat there staring at the shirt on his lap. Almost as if in a daze, Caspar lifts the shirt and turns it around for Joe to read the words The coolest godfather.

“Are you sure?” His voice is timid, and he meets Joe’s eyes followed by Y/N’s.

“Wouldn’t have anyone else, Casp.” She reassure’s him, while Joe nods in agreement.

“What does Joe’s say?” Zoe reaches across Alfie for the shirt, laughing as she reads it.

On the shirt is written I’m A… followed by a list of three different titles: Thatcher, YouTuber, Father.

“These are perfect, Y/N.” Alfie looks around at the different shirts.

“And such a cute way of announcing it!” Zoe looks down at her shirt again, the smile still on her face.

“I couldn’t just announce it.” Y/N looks up at Joe. “Where would the fun be in that?”

“How long have you been hiding this?” He asks her, dropping a kiss on her lips.

“I’ve known for about a month. And the doctor says I’m nearly three months.” She grins up at him, “It’s been very hard keeping it a secret from you.”

“Well, you did good, love.” He laughs softly. “I cannot believe I’m going to be a father.”

“None of us can, mate!” Oli teases him, nudging Caspar in the shoulder, who finally shakes himself out of his surprised state.

“Yeah, we figured Zoe would be the first.”

“I’m quite fine letting Joe be the first in the family!” Zoe holds her hands up. “Gives me some practice.”

While they talk amongst themselves, Joe drops his gaze back down to the woman still in his arms, smiling softly down at her.
“I love you so much, you know that?” His voice is hushed, the conversation just between them.

“I love you too, Joe.”

“You are going to be a great mum.”

“And you are going to be an amazing dad.”

“Oh, I know.” Joe smirks, kissing Y/N as she giggles.


You can’t keep fighting forever, Lazuli!

Day 2: Jewel, Water, Contrast

Because I couldn’t stop myself from hurting myself emotionally.

Weightlifting Tips and Tricks!

• Push your elbows forward (towards the mirror) whilst holding the barbell across your shoulders. A professional powerlifter taught me this trick, helps to keep your upper body more vertical
• Stick the smallest or second smallest plate (2.5kg’s is what I use) underneath your heels, about half way. Keeps you more balanced, also allows more range of motion in your squat if your hammies are tight (boys especially!!)

• Keep your body as vertical as possible. Use the smith machine for weighted lunges and make sure your hips are square (not one pushed back and one forward).

Stiff legged deadlifts:
• stronger arm/hand holds in overhand grip! Weaker (left for most people) hand holds in under grip.

Leg press:
• don’t let your knees come in towards each other, if this is an issue for you, out turn your feet SLIGHTLY.
• Get. Low. - this activates your hammies and glutes.
• use different ‘stances’ such as having your feet close together, almost touching, wide and in the centre, narrow and up the top etc. it will hit your muscle from different angles and work different muscle groups

Legs in general, always keep your core tight. Always. This stops your lower back from taking over.

Bicep curls:
• Try standing against a wall, with your elbows almost touching the wall, this stops you from being able to swing ;)

Tricep pushdowns (using a bar, rope, anything):
• elbows stay by your sides, your forearms should move on a ‘lever’ from your elbow joint, if you can’t push it to the bottom and SQUEEZE then it’s too heavy.

Close grip chest press(also triceps):
• Hold the bar a little closer than waist width apart, try pushing a flat bench under the smith machine, it helps.
• bring the bar to just under your breasts/pecs and push straight up keeping your triceps by your side the whole time, not outwards!!!

• Use the dip machine for better form, keep your elbows back! And body as straight as possible.

Stiff legged deadlifts:
• Keep the barbell along your shins, please.
• very small bend at the elbow will ensure your legs don’t take over, and give you a better squeeze at the top.

Bent over row:
• You should be almost parallel to the ground
• Row to your belly button

Lat pull downs:
• slightly curve your back, pushing your chest towards the sky, pull the bar to your chest, whilst squeezing your back.

Okay this has taken like 20% of my phone battery to write so I’ll add more later! Correct me on anything if you so wish, I’m not qualified at all, it’s just some basic exercises that I often see being done incorrectly, that I hope will help to reduce the possibility of some of you guys injuring yourselves! xx


Pairing: Alexander and the reader in a paternal setting

Prompt: Hi! I have a bit of a different request for you, if that’s okay:) Could you do a modern day where the reader goes often to visit Hamilton’s grave, but is faced one night by some passerbyers who attempt to hurt her and Hamilton’s ghost is able to save the reader? Thank you

TW: None? It’s implied that the passerby wanted to hurt the reader

Word Count: 1419


You always figured…you were odd. You weren’t ashamed of this fact, not at all. You embraced it. It made life more interesting. However, you worried you were pushing the boundaries with your newest habit.

“I’m not sure about it, though…if I take this job, the pay will be higher, but I won’t be doing what I want to, any more. I’ll be a corporate employee, which means, I don’t get to do any of the dirty work, and actually help people.”

Your companion gave no answer. Made sense. Considering your conversation partner was the headstone of Alexander Hamilton.

Why Hamilton? You figured he’d always been interesting enough. In school, you were told ‘if two people are debating, and you can’t remember one of their names, chances are the other one was Hamilton.’ You always found that amusing. So, when you moved to New York, and just so happened to be near the place where he was buried, you figured, hey, why not go and speak to this person I have sort of looked up to for years.

You worried for your own mental health.

You stared at the picture of the man where you sat. It was only a drawing of course, but you always found his face…interesting. You weren’t sure if it was just because he was a founding father, or if there was something about his face shape that seemed appealing, but, all the same, you often found yourself staring, and thinking to yourself, ‘what’s happening in his head?’

But, back to your current conversation.

“I don’t know Alex…ugh, I wish, just once, you could actually give me some insight, ya know?” You took a long sip of the coffee you held, huffing a bit as you thought over your predicament. You had to give your answer on the promotion in two days time. “It’s already eight thirty…I gotta go, Hammie. See you tomorrow.” You stood, and brushed yourself off, before waving goodbye, and leaving the headstone. What you didn’t realize, was, yes, actually, there was someone listening to your plight. He had his head resting languidly on his own headstone, thinking over what you had said.

Hamilton…had grown rather attached to you, in the short time that you’d come for your evening talks with him. At first, he’d been alarmed. Probably rightfully so, but he calmed, as you started explaining yourself, and growing more and more comfortable with talking to someone who couldn’t respond. But, now, you were asking his advice on a subject, and he wanted to help. Truly, he was starting so see you as one of his own kids…and not being able to help, it was wearing on him.

He may not be able to say anything, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t manipulate a couple things to give his response.


Luckily for him, it was easy to manipulate little things, and, by the time you arrived the following evening, his plan was ready. It was a long shot that you would interpret it as his answer, but he was risking it. He wanted to help you, and you were asking to hear from him. The least he could do was respond.

You huffed as you made your way to the grave, taking a seat with your soda, and placing an extra in front of the headstone. He was watching, heart melting a bit as he saw you leave one for him. Whether it was useful or not, he appreciated that.

“Please work.” He muttered, watching as you sat down. You leaned back on your hands, huffing.

“Hey Alex…I still don’t have any idea about what to do…” You huffed, and Alex balled his fists, willing you to notice the scrap of paper, protruding from a crack in the cement of his headstone. It took a second of your muttering about how you needed an answer, but finally, you figured it out.

You grabbed it, pulling a face. Was…this a paper from a fortune cookie? You turned over, linking in surprise.

‘Wealth will change nothing, if you’re not happy’

O…kay? You turned it over, looking at the numbers. 01 11 17 57. You stared a moment longer, glancing at the tombstone, and then back to the papers. That was his birthdate… Maybe this actually meant something?

“Guess I have my answer.” You smiled a bit, shrugging. It may not have been him, but…well, it worked for you. You’d take the lower pay over being taken from the job your loved. You didn’t see, or hear, Alexander cheering that he’d gotten his point across, something that had seemed so easily in life now near impossible.

You sat there a while longer, talking with him, laughing, and relaxing, and showing him things you’d found funny on your phone. He didn’t get most, if any of them, but he was glad you were happy. He listened to you rant about this year’s election, and he wanted to smack his forehead into the concrete at your descriptions of these people. The evening was overall, very nice, for the both of you, interaction or not.

Until you heard the voices.

“Hey, kid. Don’t you know how unsafe it is around here at this hour?” The voice was gruff, and pulled you away from your conversation. You tensed up, and looked up to the man who was standing over you. You hadn’t even noticed him approach…

He was tall, built wide in both directions, and looked as though he could snap you in half like you were no more than a pencil. You swallowed a bit, and glanced at the time. It was near eleven. You’d been here waaay longer than you planned.

“Uh, right…sorry, sir, I’ll be headed out now.” You stood to scramble and grab your things, as Alex got up to scrutinize him. He sneered, staring this man down. How dare he threaten you like that. It had been indirect, yes, but let him try something. See what would happen.

“Not so fast there,” he grabbed your arm, and his grip was tight. You gave an anxious noise of discomfort, trying to pull from it. “Why are you out here, anyway?” He had a lilt to his words, making him seem more harmless than he really was. Alex was fuming by this point. Dead or no, he couldn’t stand idly by and let this man hurt you.

Oh, what was it he’d heard about poltergeists? Come on, Alex, you can remember…one of them said…ah! Possession of human vessel! That’s it. He moved behind the man as he pulled you closer, and you tried desperately to pull yourself away. It only took a minute, but the man tensed, and the completely went lax, releasing your arm. You would have bolted, had you not been so bewildered.

“(Y/N).” You squeaked, shuffling back a step or two. How did he know your name? Why did his voice sound different now? “Take a breath, and listen to me.” You…did as he said, just this time. You didn’t feel threatened anymore…it was like the menacing aura was gone, replaced by one of a paternal figure. “I’m Alexander, you’ve been talking to me for a few months now, right? Listen. Don’t. Come here. Again. It’s not because I don’t like you, dear, but I don’t want you getting hurt. I don’t know how long I can keep this up, or if this were to happen again, how readily available I would be to stop them…leave, okay? You’ll hear of me again, don’t worry. But don’t put yourself in danger just to come back here to speak with me.”

You nodded slowly, looking up at him. His eyes were different…softer, and a bit sad. But you smiled.

“I…Thank you, Alex…I’ll talk with you soon, I hope?” He smiled, and nodded. The two of you said your goodbyes before you ran, and he left the man’s body, leaving him bewildered, and confused, before he, too, ran off. Alex was left sitting there, smiling after you, and looking at the soda you left for him before he felt a hand slide over his shoulder.

“They’ll be fine, dear…are you ready to go back home?” His wife smiled at his side, giving his forehead a kiss to ease his thoughts.

“Yes…tell me, how are the children?”

The two of them walked off together, hand in hand, leaving the summer night quiet, and still.


This was an interesting beast of a request. I liked writing this from a paternal point of view. Alex gets attached to the reader, in a sense that he sees some of the same drive he had in them. So, I hope this fits what you wanted!! Thank you!!

Love, Rosie

foxmolderr-deactivated20170330  asked:

Prompt: Claire is in labor and Owen helps her deliver their baby. I just love the idea of a Clawen baby 👶


“Yes, right there. Oh, god, Owen, that feels so good.”

Owen laughs and continues working his masseuse magic. Claire’s left foot is in her husband’s lap and her right is in his hands as they sit on the couch of their living room together.

“I don’t like any of these.”

Owen looks up at her. “We’ll find one, babe.”

“I’m due in four weeks and we still have no ideas for a name,” she argues. “Most people at least have options at this point.”

“Well, maybe it’s one of those things where we have to see her to name her. I’m sure people do that all the time.”

Claire sighs and sets the baby name book on the coffee table. “That’s true.” She smiles at him tiredly. “Thank you for doing this. Thank you for always doing it.”

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[juuniban] Honey Kiss - fanfic

Honey Kiss [蜂蜜のキス]

Author:  壱拾弐番 [pixiv]

Rating: R15 (the link says R18, but there is nothing graphic here)

Summary: Kaneki’s lips are chapped, and Hide has a creative solution to this little problem.

Warnings: Raunchy, but not explicit.

※ Permission to translate and upload granted by the author. Respect the author; do NOT repost or claim the text as yours in any way. Support them by rating and bookmarking their work.

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spent the past couple of days with my friends (and our members) running a booth at the school fair!

i guess this counts as my first commission work? hyeah!!

Surprise Beach Fun ;) (Taylor Caniff Smut)

Requested by magcon-babee (Haylee)


The only sound that can be heard is the gently lapping of the waves rolling into the beach. You lay in your bikini as the sand and sweat stick to your body in the hot afternoon sun. Alone on the beach, you stretch up to get to your feet. You walk slowly to the water, the hot sand running through your toes. Then in an instant your gone, diving beneath the surface. You swim out a way with slow easy stokes and then lay over floating on you back under the sun.

The movement of the ocean so in tune with your body. You hear a movement in the water. Taylor rises above the waves capturing you in a kiss. You begin to swim slowly to the shore together, stopping along the way to kiss, touch, taste and feel each other . The water a powerful stimulant, you reach shallow water and you wrap your legs around his waist and slowly guides his hardness into your slick wet passage. The sheer delight of the moment overcomes you. You throw back your head and laugh, a deep throaty laugh. You both move in the water effortlessly, your bodies one, a moment frozen in time.

You pull away quickly standing up and running the rest of the way to the shore. Falling upon the sand, it clings to your body, you watch Taylor emerge from the water, coming towards you. You reach out a hand and pull him to you. You kiss him pushing him gently to the ground, and falling down beside him, you hands running all over his body. You kiss him slowly, his lips, his eyes, his neck. You leave a trail of kisses down his neck, his chest. You flick out a tongue and lets its circle his taunt nipple. He moans. You take a hand and begin to gently stroke him feeling his fullness in your hand. Your hands seem to be everywhere, his chest, his stomach, his ass, his dick, and his balls. You just cannot get enough. You lean down and place a gentle kiss on the tip of his cock. 

Slowly takes it into your mouth, sucking gently on the head, slowly licking all around. You caress his balls with your hands. Taking him fully into your mouth, you suck his hard length up and down. Faster and faster your mouth moves, making love to him. You reach your hands up and make a circle with your fingers and put it next to your lips as you suck in and out. “Haylee.” Taylor moans. You pull completely back and just rubs him all over your face, his hardness feeling smooth against your face and lips.

You slowly move and he takes over, lowering you gently to your back, he enters you still hard. You cry out in ecstasy your orgasm seeming to go on and on. Slowly he fucks you, gently teasing, in and out. He takes only the very tip and teases you with it, feeling you tighten round him. You try to pull him further inside you, but he resists, teasing, knowing this  is making you go wild. “Fuck Taylor! Stop being a tease.” You mange to say between moans. The sun dips lower into the water, and it begins to get darker. You are lost in each other and do not notice. He is still teasing, and then without warning he shoves himself fully into you. “TAYLOR!” You scream out in ecstasy. He pushes in and out of you slowly, then faster. He feels you contract around him as your orgasm rocks you both. He quickens his pace, wanting to fuel your fire and keep you in the moment, wanting to feel all your fire and all your passion just for him. He tenses and feels his release starting to build your tightness making him lose all control, as his orgasm explodes into to you. Your filled with his hot cum. You both lay there still, breathing hard, still locked together in bliss. “Haylee?” Taylor asks looking at you as your chest rises and falls. You look over at him. “Yes Taylor?” “You’re beautiful-“ You turn away blushing. He moves closer to you, gently he moves your head so you are looking him right in the eyes. “You are the most beautiful girl ever and I am the luckiest guy in the world to have you as my girlfriend. I love you Haylee.” You couldn’t help but be mesmerized by Taylor’s sparkling eyes from the sun setting. “I love you too Taylor Michael Caniff.”


Two beauties from points far south tagged me today, @yourstrulyjackie for ten things that make me happy, and @aquaholical for five random facts. Since I remain in a mental state where generating original thoughts is problematic, these are welcome cues.


  1. People saying nice things about my kids.
  2. Waking up refreshed (very rare).
  3. Summer weather—the hotter and sunnier, the better.
  4. Little moments of mindfulness when I appreciate the beauty of this universe and my place/part in it.
  5. Hitting a golf ball pure.
  6. Focused 1:1 conversation over drinks with an intelligent, warm soul.
  7. That flushed, accomplished feeling after a long run. (Not during, though. That just hurts and is usually boring.)
  8. Those moments on stage when conscious thought goes quiet and my other (higher? lower?) mind takes over completely.
  9. The point where a woman’s waist just begins to curve back out, right above her hip.
  10. Really good whiskey at the end of the day.


  1. I once made fun of Mike Ditka’s DUI history on his own TV show during an audience Q&A session. In retort, he insulted my university. I don’t believe the video exists, but I look for it every once in a while.
  2. When I was two, my father and grandfather would bring me into bars and bet other drunks guys that I could read the labels on bottles. Mom and grandma found out and put a rapid end to that.
  3. I almost moved to London for work in 2000, but didn’t because we had a young dog then (Jake, RIP) and he’d have had to be quarantined for six months for immigration. Then the market crashed and all the ex-pats over there got massively fucked; some were laid off without even their expenses back home covered. Dodged that bullet. Thanks, Jake.
  4. You’re never going to see me with my shirt off. Few things cause me more anxiety. Just…no. It’s awful. You’re welcome.
  5. I used to play a lot of rec league hockey and softball. I miss them both, tons, but my back is healthier now than at any time in my adult life and I want to keep it that way.

You’re tagged for either or both. Yes, you.

anonymous asked:

What would you say to people who think JKR's recent comments in the Wonderland interview mean she doesn't like or appreciate Ron?

I’d say anyone who thinks that is possible probably didn’t read the books. They might be under the assumption that Ron was accurately represented in the movies.

He was not.

Not in the least.

Ron’s love life is not the most important thing, or even on the list of most important things, about his character.

Ron is funny and humanizing and smart and intuitive and loyal and calming and brave in the books. Ron stands up for Harry when no one else does; Ron offers to and is willing to sacrifice himself for him (this, like so many of his best/amazing traits was also given to Hermione four movies later). Ron is a comfort, Ron is a friend, and Ron is fabulously imperfect and sometimes lets his lower demons take over, and that makes him a much better character than anyone who has been sainted by sleight of writerly hand.

There will be more about this in the upcoming PotterCast, which I am editing tonight.