lower heaven

there is nothing artsy
about what we feel
some days we are
higher than heaven,
walking above the sky
out of space
and some days we are
lower than hell,
walking I don’t know where
some days getting
out of bed is going
on a war against
your own self and
some days going
 to bed is just
a waste of life
we try to survive
by writing the words
that don’t really
explain our feelings
because we don’t know
what we are feeling
what the fuck is
higher than heaven and
lower than hell
when we feel it all inside of us
i say we failed evolution
and you say the evolution failed us
and even if it is one of the two
that doesn’t help us
we are fucking miserable 
on days everyone is high
and we are fucking high
when everyone is sleeping
we walk with life
on our sleeves
because we don’t know
where the fuck our heart went
maybe someone took it
maybe we left it somewhere
maybe we were just born heartless
we walk and drive
without looking around
because maybe
that’s how this misery would end
where coffee became such a drug t
hat caffeine addicts won’t understand
and sleep feels like the enemy
because what we have
can’t be called dreams
and they are definitely scarier
than nightmares and
when we wake up
the scenes play again
in front of us

so we write more and cry more and talk more and love more and break more hoping we will be okay 

inspired by and for @bg-grizzo

They’re still in the tavern.

Everyone has gone away and only few candles are alight, casting long shadows on the walls.
After the boisterous laughs and drunken mess of a moment before, now there’s a sober stillness that gives Lefou a certain… almost disquieting feeling.
He stole a glance towards Gaston.

He sat there, a forgotten pint half drunk in front of him on the table. His face was partially hidden by a shadow, and the warm light only enhanced the strong line of his jaw. He seemed deep in thought; apparently still brooding over something.

Lefou got up, wobbling slightly, and took his overcoat. Time to call it a night, he supposed.

“You all right?” he asked, breaking the silence.

He thought he had managed to cheer the man up with his– frankly brilliant - improvised song.
Gaston didn’t reply. Instead he stood up with a loud screech of the chair. Lefou stood still, blinking at his friend.
He came near him humming quietly.

“…say it again, who’s a man among men”

The deep rumble of that voice sends a shiver down Lefou’s spine.

“…who’s the super success”
Lefou went along with him, a much slower (and maybe tipsier) version of the tune.

He felt the sudden warm weight of Gaston’s hands on his shoulders and stilled immediately. Gaston circled him and went on, still humming, until he brusquely pulled Lefou against him from behind.

For the second time that evening Lefou found himself against that strong and compact chest, and his mind went blank. He felt a warm breath on his ear, and shuddered closing his eyes.
He didn’t know what’s gotten all of a sudden into Gaston, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to complain. It all felt rather like one of his dreams. Maybe it was.

“…Don’t you know”

Hearing that deep baritone from so close and being able to feel the vibrations of it on his back did things to him. He opened his mouth but no sound came out. Gaston’s hands travelled from his shoulders down to his sides, and gripped hard.

Pressed like he was against his body, being kept firmly in place by those muscled arms and powerul hands, Lefou felt warm all over, he wanted this dream to never end… not a dream though, supplied one tiny part of his rational mind.

Maybe he should stop this. Maybe Gaston was joking. But it didn’t seem like that. He never did such things, not with Lefou at least.
What if…

“Can’t you guess” Gaston growled lowly in his ear, then nuzzled in his curled hair.

“G-Gastoooon…” his own voice was a high-pitched and strangled exhalation.

“Mmmh, that’s right.”

He could feel Gaston’s smirk on his neck. His legs felt like jelly and Gaston’s arms locked firmly on his waist.
The candles’ light danced before his eyes, the room started to wobble.
Oh no. It wasn’t the room. Lefou gasped and a low moan escaped him. Gaston was oh so very slowly swaying with him, left and right, humming still, back and forth, an hypnotizing rhythm.
But he needed to know.

“Isn’t- isn’t this a bit too much?” he asked, already fearing the response, the inevitable laugh and rejection.

Gaston breathed him in, rubbing his nose on Lefou’s neck. He nipped it lightly, his teeth sharp on his tender flesh. The man had really an obsession for bites, he thought amused. Seconds of cosy warmth and soothing rocking passed by.

“On the contrary, my little Lefou.” Gaston nearly purred, his voice was so low. Lefou gasped and felt a familiar electric pull on his lower belly.
Oh sweet heavens. Did he dare hope?

“It isn’t nearly enough.”


( Part 2 )


“I’m an outgoing, personable kind of guy, so I’m not sure why they cast me as the lonely son of Tom Hanks in Road to Perdition. I heard they liked how I could use my eyes. Since I made that film a few years ago, I’ve changed from a 4'9” 96-pound thirteen-year-old, to a 6’ 160-pounder. Thank God my voice is lower! I’ve been acting now since I was eight, and one Hollywood stereotype I’ve learned is not true is that actors are weird and selfish. I’ve met the coolest, most down-to-earth actors working in the business. No one is nicer and more humble than Tom Hanks. When his son came to visit the set, Tom took us to see the Cubs play at Wrigley Field. How awesome is that?“ - Tyler Hoechlin in A&F’s 2004 Rising Stars Magazine


-The Six Lower Heavens-

The First Heaven, the heaven which holds the World Tree. Planted by the Matron (Nophica) and Nurtured by the Keeper (Althyk). The World Tree is the source from which all Life is said to have sprung. The trunk of the World Tree, or the Bole, protects the weak, defending them from harm.

The Second Heaven or the heaven of fire, a realm made prosperous by the blessing of the Traders (Nald'thal), but at the same time, one whose equilibrium or Balance is maintained by the divine judgment of Azeyma, the Warden. Azeyma’s mighty will empowers those who would take up their blades and mete divine punishment in the name of the sun goddess.

Within The Third Heaven rises an iron tower of spinning gears and taut springs constructed by the Builder (Byregot) himself. It is assailed without cease by the jealous Destroyer (Rhalgr), but the Destroyer’s mighty levinbolts only server to power the Spire’s clockwork soul. It is through the blessings of both creation and destruction that strength is granted to those who sees their stars rise under this sign.

The Fourth Heaven, or the heaven of wind, was created atop a lofty peak by the Wanderer (Oschon), who’s footsteps had been guided by the Navigator (Llymlaen). The wind that blows off Llymlaen’s seas guides the Arrow fast and true, and so shall deliver the weary souls of those trapped in the mire of confusion, indecision, and over-contemplation.

Within The Fifth Heaven flows a mighty river carrying the water spilled forth from the Scholar’s (Thaliak) vessel or Ewer. In that water is the knowledge of all that have come before and all who will follow, the Aether spun from the Spinner’s (Nymeia) loom, the aether from which all magicks are drawn and to which all magicks return.

The Sixth Heaven is where the Fury (Halone) resides in a palace of ice carved by her own Spear, ice formed of moonbeams collected by the Lover (Menphina). The spear fills us not only with the power to overcome our enemies, but also the compassion that is necessary to grant those same enemies mercy.

The Zulu Nation: In a name.

My people are called the Zulu people (AmaZulu), we speak IsiZulu and live in the Zulu-land just as the English Speak english and live in England. We practice our Zulu customs as we live out our lives the Zulu way. But why the name ‘Zulu’? What does it mean? where does it come from?

The word zulu has a few meanings in our language; a) Sky.  b) Heaven.  c) Thunder.

The name of the Zulu is the explanation of where we believe we came from, Heaven [Translation B]. It literally means that we are the people of the Heavens.

Now we didn’t just wake up one day and decided we were from the heavens, but we get this from a few stories of our creation that have been passed down from generations to generation. 

The Story:

The Zulu believe that ‘Umvelinqangi’ - the Great Ancestor (or ’Unkulunkulu’ - The Almighty… in this post we shall refer to him as God for the sake of comprehension for all) resides in the heavens, beyond the sky. It is our belief that God had many children and they lived with him in the heavens. One of these children was a troublesome young boy. This boy loved very much to ‘mess’ with Gods favourite bull. One day God grew weary of this boys naughty ways, so God opened a hole in the heavens and lowered the boy down to Earth .

The boy had everything he needed to survive on earth but he was alone, he became sad. Whenever God looked down to check on him he would see how sad he was, and as any parent would God took pity on the young man and sent down a female to keep him company.

And thus a great nation was born.

This is a story that serves as an explanation (at least for me), many today do not know, or do not care about where they came from, believing stories of creation from other races, but if you go from race to race the stories differ. We too have our own.

I am not saying that this story is a definite explanation of our ‘imvelaphi’ (sorry I can’t think of an English word for that right now) but this is what our people in ancient times believed. 

I believe we should start looking for answers and solutions in our own people, they are there. If we rely on other races for solutions our people shall never truly be free. 

the things we live for

Because in the midst of Phil worrying that being seen with Dan Howell by his side would entail blows towards the deck of cards he’d so precisely put up (‘be friends with Lexie, she’s got the pretty genes, stay away from Jo-‘), he might have slightly underestimated how much Dan could get through to him.

Or, how Phil learns to learn again.

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the houses

the houses in astrology are a very important and interesting subject. firstly, there are twelve houses. each house is ruled by the corresponding sign - so the first house is ruled by the first sign (aries), the second by the second (taurus), and so on. each house represents an area of life - imagine splitting your life into twelve categories, and there you have the job of the houses! the houses are each ruled by a sign and each sign is ruled by a planet, so you can see a sort of hierarchy here, leading to the planets. each house has a different energy and depending on what you have (or don’t have) in them, they can have a very intriguing effect.

the first house is ruled by aries and mars, it is the house of your self, your ego and personality, your general vitality and outer appearance, and your driving force. the first house is also the house of the ascendant, and so it plays a huge part in your life.

the second house is ruled by taurus and venus. it is the house of income, self worth and your attitude to material possessions and money. the second house can also show you where you might want to look into for making money!

the third house is ruled by gemini and mercury. it is the house of siblings, learning, communication, thinking and travel - only for short distances though! this house also indicates talent for communication, first language and writing.

the fourth house is ruled by cancer and the moon. it contains the imum coeli, or lower heaven, which is one of the four angles in the houses. this house rules over your past, family life, mother (and other women in your life), and emotions.

the fifth house is ruled by leo and the sun. this is a fun house, the house of children, romance, creativity and hobbies! this house shows where you are generous, where you are jealous and how you like to love.

the sixth house is ruled by virgo and mercury. this is the house of health, eating habits, daily routine and work ethic. it can also show where you may need to show more care to others.

the seventh house is another angular house, containing the descendant. this is the house of relationships and business partnerships, marriage and enemies. the descendant shows the traits you project onto others and what you may be attracted to or need from a partner.

the eighth house is ruled by scorpio and pluto. it is the house of death, sex, regeneration, abuse and inheritance. this house has a lot to do with death and violence, and also indicates undercover activities, the metaphysical and taboos.

the ninth house is ruled by sagittarius and jupiter. this is the house of foreign travel and language, religion and spirituality, the wisdom you acquire through life and the path you are supposed to take.

the tenth house contains the midheaven, which is often seen as the angle of destiny. this is the house of long term career, fate and public image. this house can even describe your blog style and how you text!

the eleventh house is ruled by aquarius and uranus. it is the house of friendship and peers, humanity in general and how you relate to others. this house can also describe where your individuality shines through and where you may be clumsy!

the twelfth house is ruled by pisces and neptune, and is the house of solitude, sacrifice and the unconscious. this house, although not an anglular house, is very significant and can tell you a lot about yourself. this is the house to look to if you are ever struggling with inner feelings you can’t understand, or if you need to learn about your dreams.

as you can see, the houses almost follow the qualities of the sign that rules it. whereas signs are qualities, houses are areas however, and it should be noted that a house doesn’t influence your chart rather than show you where there may be an influence from something!!

“what are angles?” within the twelve houses, there are 4 points of interest. these points coincide with times of day, as you can see below! they show you the bare bones of your life - who you are, how you come across, what you see in others and the way you live. 

the ascendant, or rising sign, is the cusp of the first house. it is the focal point of the house, describing your personality, factors to your physical self and how others may see you, and the filters you view life through. a lot of astrologers consider the ascendant to be as important to know as your sun and moon signs, since the natal chart’s direction begins with the ascendant.

the IC, or lower heaven, is the cusp of your fourth house. this pointed, ruled by cancer, represents your private life. your emotions and feelings, the way you like to spend time alone, your mother and the women in your life. this point also indicates home circumstances - a lot of moves or inheriting a house can be alluded to here.

the descendant is the cusp of your seventh house. this point show you what you see in others - this means both the traits you project from yourself onto others (so an aries ascendant sees others as slow and lazy, not seeing that being an electrical powerhouse isn’t for everyone!), and the traits you look for in others (in the case of an aries ascendant, you may look for peace and romance where you lack it). this is generally seen as the relationship point :-)

the MC, or midheaven, is the cusp of the tenth house. this is the focal point of the house and is a clue toward your public destiny - where you’re going, as opposed to the IC’s “where you came from”. anything connected to the MC affects it profoundly and the midheaven can indicate everything from career and drive to your texting style!

another thing to consider is empty houses!! empty houses don’t mean nothing, in fact, depending on the specifics of the house we can really see a lot! please check out this post for an example of analysing an empty house. i hope this is informative and not too rambly!

- kira xoxo 

Every Little Thing part 13

Summary: Reader returns to set for her first official day of filming.

Characters: Reader, Jensen, Jared, Gen, Cali

Word Count: 1,500 ish

Warnings: Language, little fluff, show angst, depression (maybe?) and hints towards smut.

A/N:I think the timeline is a little off but just bear with me, it worked for the story better like this. I really enjoyed the story in a story for this part. If it is Bold & Italics that is the scenes of the show. As always this is no disrespect towards Daneel and Jensen or their beautiful family!! This is just a story and does not in anyway reflect how I feel about Daneel, she is queen and I love her and Jensen together!  Please constructive feedback as always!  If you would like to be tagged let me know!



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Perfumes of Arthur Gauntlet

From his 17th Century grimoire, published by David Rankine

A perfume made of Hempseed and of the Seeds of Fleawort and violet roots and Parsley and (Smallage [Wild Celery]) maketh to see things to come and is available for Prophecy.

A perfume made with Coriander, Saffron, Henbane and Parsley (Smallage) and White Poppy ana [or of equal quantity] bruised and Pounded together. If any shall dig Gold or Silver or any precious thing the ☾ being joined to the ☉ in the lower heaven let him perfume the place with this suffumigation.

A perfume of the Planets. Myrrh, Gostu,[Costum] Mastic, Camphor, Frankincense, Sanders, Opoponax, Lignum Aloes, Alum, Euphorbium, Storax or Thimyam [probably Thyme] ana 1 oz.

A perfume of ☉ yellow amber ½ oz. Musk 12 grains Lignum Aloes 36 grains Lignum Balsam and the berries of Laurel ana 46 grains Of Gilleflowers [another name for Carnation] Myrrh and Frankincense ana 1oz with the blood of a white Cock make pills in the quantity of ½ dram.

A perfume of ☾ Take of white Poppy seeds 1oz of Male frankincense ½ oz. Of Camphor 1oz with the blood of A Goose made in balls

A perfume of ♄ Seeds of Black Poppies and the Seeds of Hoyseami [Henbane] ana 2oz The Root of Mandragoras 1&½ oz The stone Lapis Lazuli [Agrippa’s recipe also gives Lodestone] ½ oz. Myrrh 3 grains with the Brains or blood of A Bat in balls the quantity of 1oz

A perfume of ♃  Seeds of Ash 2oz Lignum Aloes 2oz Storax, Benjamin 1oz Lapis Lazuli 1oz Of the very tips of the feathers of the Peacock Let them be incorporated with the blood of a Stork or of a Swallow or the brain of a hart let there be made a trochisk [tablet or lozenge] in the quantity of a Groat. [Old English silver coin]

A perfume of ♂ Euphorbium, Bedelum [resin similar to Myrrh] 1oz Ammoniac roots of both sorts of Eleborus [Hellebores] ana the lodestone 2 drams Brimstone 1 dram let it be incorporated with the brain of a Crow and with Mans blood of a black Cat make Trochisks 1 dram

A perfume of ♀ Musk 38 grains Amber 21 grains lignum aloes 1oz Red Roses 2oz Red Coral 2oz mingle it with the brain of a Sparrow and the blood of a Boar. Make a Trochisk in quantity ½ dram

A perfume of ☿ Mastic 1oz frankincense 2oz Gilleflowers, pantaphile [Cinquefoil] 2oz ac Lapidi Achate.(With Agate Stone) Incorporate it with the brain of a fox or a weasel and with the blood of A Pie [Magpie] make Trochisk in quantity ½ dram (114)

A perfume of every Planet  Costum  Nucis Muscate [Nutmeg] Lignum aloes ☉ Mastic  Crocum ☿ Cinnamomum  Mirtum [Myrtle] ana 1oz

[Translated from the Latin]
For the Moon we make a suffumigation of the head of a frog dried, the eyes of a bull, the seed of white poppy, frankincense, and camphor, which must be incorporated with menstruous blood, or the blood of a goose.

Besides to Saturn are appropriated for fumes all odiferous roots, as
pepperwort root (the reference in Latin has been changed to costus) etc and the frankincense tree.

To Jupiter odoriferous fruits, as nutmegs, cloves.

To Mars all odiferous wood, as sanderswood, cypress, lignum balsam and lignum aloes.

To the Sun, all gums, frankincense, mastic, benzoin, storax, laudanum, ambergris and musk.

To Venus flowers, as roses, violets, crocus (saffron) and such like.

To Mercury all the peels of wood and fruit, as cinnamon, lignum-cassia,
mace, citron peel, and bayberries, and whatsoever seeds are odoriferous.

To the Moon the leaves of all vegetables, as the leaf Indum, the leaves of
the myrtle and the bay tree.

Know also, that according to the opinion of the magicians, in every good
matter, as love, goodwill, and the like, there must be a good fume, odoriferous, and precious; and in every evil matter, as hatred, anger, misery, and the like, there must be a stinking fume, that is of no worth.

The twelve signs also of the Zodiac have their proper fumes, as Aries hath myrrh, Taurus costum (pepperwort in Agrippa); Gemini, mastic; Cancer, camphor; Leo, frankincense; Virgo, sanderswood; Libra, galbanum; Scorpio, opoponax; Sagittarius, lignum aloes; Capricorn, balsam; Aquarius,
euphorbium; Pisces, red storax. But Hermes describes the most powerful
fume to be, viz that which is composed of the seven aromatics, according to the powers of the seven planets, for it receives from Saturn, costum
(pepperwort}, from Jupiter, nutmeg, from Mars, lignum aloes, from the
Sun, mastic, from Venus, saffron, from Mercury, cinnamon, and from the
Moon, the myrtle.

She had me lifting that damn log again, I don’t understand what this is supposed to train me in, she seems to be wanting to just shout out me some more,gods know, I’ll find out I suppose all I know is I want to get better at fighting and this isn’t helping me at all, dent a gods damn log, like that’s going to matter, I could blow that log to splinters given half a chance.

On a less stressful note I managed to get some stargazing done tonight, watching the Bole ascend over the lower heavens and down below the horizon was relaxing, I forget how they feel having attuned to them now, more than just watching pretty lights pass over the skies, I wonder how they look from the deck of an airship just that little bit closer to them.

I never got around to asking if Temperance wanted that reading, but as of right now I’m somewhat glad she didn’t I need time to recover turns out lifting a log with your aether can be hard who knew? Dante would get a laugh out of this honestly watching me strain to life a log, I might have to talk to him over the link pearl tomorrow let him know I’m okay.

G'night Journal

pop’n music Lapistoria Character Introduction Lines

> Default New Songs

Birthday: October 24
The main character who manipulates fire!

Birthday: February 15
The cool student council president who manipulates ice

Birthday: October 23
The quiet transfer student who manipulates wind…

Birthday: March 31
The cute girl who manipulates nature

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Chapter 133: The FIRST PEACEFUL night of SLEEP

你丫上瘾了 Note: Read the notes at the bottom for clarification on certain things, if anything, leave a comment or message me if something still doesn’t make sense. Remember, NO SPOILERS PLEASE, in the comments or anywhere on this account. I have not finished the novel. I stopped reading for now so I can translate. No copy/paste and all that other shenanigans either. Vote/likes are highly appreciated.

One a side note, this chapter is also quite long….well all the chapters are getting longer and longer,  so it once again it took me a while longer. Since, I knew that this chapter is probably the chapter that everyone has been waiting for, I made sure to describe everything as best as possible. Which meant that I had to add a lot  of  words that were not in the novel in order to better describe things. BUT, rest assure, it does not change any of the content. I PROMISE! This chapter was delicious to translate, now now, not what you guys are thinking. | ू•ૅω•́)ᵎᵎᵎ

As always, THANK YOU for reading and enjoying the journey with our two INSEPARABLE boys:


*ଘ( ॢᵕ꒶̮ᵕ(꒡ᵋ ꒡ღ)zZ‥


Chapter 133 ::  The FIRST PEACEFUL night of SLEEP

After they cleaned and tidied up the mess in the room, they enjoyed the sticky rice balls with its’ sweet soup, took a shower, and laid their tired bodies on the bed. By that time, it was already past midnight.

Unable to control the apprehensive emotions that ruptured in that pulsating muscle of his, Gu Hai let his voice sound of softly in the silence of the room.

“Another year past, time really flew by quickly.”

Bai Luo Yin simply laid beside him, his two elongated arm wrapped securely onto the pillow in front of him as he rested his chin comfortably on top of it. Those earthen eyes slightly narrowed in amusement, seemingly enjoying the tranquility that quietness brought with it.

There’s only two people in the room, their eyes only held each others visages, their ears only took in the sound of the other person’s voice, whatever else that happened in the world outside, had nothing to do with the space that they are confined in. Right here…right now.


Gu Hai placed his hand on Bai Luo Yin’s neck, feeling the vein beneath his palm throbbing vigorously. A nameless serenity streamed into his heart, fortifying itself there.

Like a drug addict, who had strenuously endured the pain of withdrawal for countless days, and finally being able to have that addiction surge inside those blood conveying veins, was pure bliss. The effect of the drug would quickly disperse throughout his body and even the crevices under his bones were elated.

Bai Luo Yin narrowed his eyes, swept over, glancing at Gu Hai up and down.

He was still the same person, a little thinner, with some seriously stubborn stubbly encircling his chin. The contour of the side of his face was even more distinctive than usual.

“You should shave.”

Gu Hai crude and unrefined fingers touched the lower half of his own face; the existence of those prickling stubbles now obvious to even himself. It seems, a long time had passed by since he last shaved. He had long forgotten the date, and even worse, he couldn’t even recall the last time he had washed his face.

“Having a little bit of beard gives off an even more manly demeanor.” Gu Hai lazily consoled himself with this shameless excuse.

Bai Luo Yin snorted for a second before he couldn’t help but let laughter follow afterward.

“Perhaps on other people, it would make them look a bit more handsome. For you…forget about it. You just look old.”

An air of displeasure swept across Gu Hai’s eyes, “Why do you always say I look old? Where have I grown old?”


Gu Hai teeth clashed roughly against each other as he gritted them tightly. He pondered and contemplated in agony of a particular flaw that Bai Luo Yin’s body possessed so that he could counterattack said boy with. But, in the end, he discovered that every part, every inch was visually attractive. It was indeed, eye candy for him every time his sight fell upon it.

There was absolutely no flaw…not even one, that he could pinpoint.

Bai Luo Yin got off the bed, faced the bathroom and walked in. In less than a minute, he reappeared with a towel hanging loosely on his arm.

“Lay over there,” commanded Bai Luo Yin, pointing toward the two people sofa near the front door.

Gu Hai slowly straighten his body, “For what?”

Bai Luo Yin mischievously swayed the shaver in his hand, left and right…left and right. It was quite clear what his intentions were.

Lights reflected in Gu Hai’s dark pupils, causing it to wavered for a second. It was as if he had reached some sort of epiphany. One that caused a smile to plastered itself on his face. And his cheeks stuck out, just like the stubbles that adorned his chin.

Before, it was Gu Hai who washed Bai Luo Yin’s foot, shaved Bai Luo Yin’s beard…how is it that now, Gu Hai, himself gets to enjoy this kind of treatment!

Bai Luo Yin, himself, willingly returning to his side, had already made Gu Hai faced the heavens, lower his knees and bow, as he banged his head five hundred times against the cold hard ground. If Bai Luo Yin was even a bit good to him, that would have been enough for him. But, to be able to taste such bliss was more than his heart had asked for, had begged for. Not to mention any other divine euphoria.

When Bai Luo Yin caught sight of young master Gu’s mouth stretching out from ear to ear, grinning, he knew that this despicable guy was probably indulging in his own delusional fantasy. At first, he just wanted to use the towel to moisten Gu Hai’s face as to prevent his wild fantasy from being even more insatiable. But now, perhaps, it would be better if he let him wipe his own face.

With those thoughts, he flung the towel on Gu Hai’s face, and went to the bathroom once again to grab the shaving cream. Bai Luo Yin flipped the bottle of shaving cream over and squeezed some onto his hand. He spread the cool cream evenly on the lower half of Gu Hai’s face and waited until the beard soften under the magical control of the cream.

Gu Hai leaned back against the softness of the sofa. Intense eyes, the exact shade and dimension as a handful of freshly turned soil, cracked open. They seemed to scintillate fire, so beautiful and soft as he looked closely at the visage hovering in great propinquity to his own. His vision was clouded by Bai Luo Yin, and his brain took everything in, imprinting every detail into his memory.

At first, the distance between them seemed pretty far, but as Bai Luo Yin held the shaver with steadied hand and began to move against the surface, his face inched closer and closer. So much so, that Gu Hai can feel the heat permeating from Bai Luo Yin’s lips as it floated against the surface of his own chin that had been shaven bright and cleanly. Bai Luo Yin’s expression was not only cloaked with seriousness, but cautiousness as well, as he continued to let the shaver kiss away those invasive stubbles.

Apparently, it was the first time that he allowed himself to shave someone else beard. So, as to avoid any accidental injury, he took great care in his process.

Gu Hai’s hands inch by inch, slowly but surely, stretched out and levitated closely to Bai Luo Yin’s cheeks.

Bai Luo Yin swiftly avoided those hands, “Don’t move around.”

Gu Hai’s hand lingered stiffly in the air and remained there for a long while. Only until Bai Luo Yin’s movement ceased, did Gu Hai’s hands suddenly hook onto the back his head, pressing the boy’s cheek against his own cheek.

The faint musky smell of the shaving cream intermingled with their breaths, as they drew closer to each other. Bai Luo Yin felt intoxicated, his consciousness became somewhat blurry, as if beckoning him to give up and cave. But, it was just that, with his body bent over in such an awkward position, it made him feel extremely uncomfortable. Hence, he struggled free of Gu Hai’s strong grip.

“You have to wipe it clean after it’s shaven, otherwise it’ll be uncomfortable,” said Bai Luo Yin.

A blazing red flame flashed across Gu Hai’s eyes and in a low and seemingly husky tone, his lips breathe life into the words that strung out.

“There’s no need to, I can’t wait any longer.”

With those words said, Gu Hai suddenly exerted all his energy, hook his arm around Bai Luo Yin’s waist and pulled him toward his own body. He then, intentionally knocked his feet against Bai Luo Yin’s feet. Caught off guard, Bai Luo Yin lost his balance, stumbled and fell forward. Gu Hai allowed Bai Luo Yin’s body to crash heavily on top of his own. He didn’t give Bai Luo Yin any time to respond or even the slightest chance to retaliate as he simply clasped said boy’s face within his warm hands and……kissed him.

Once their lips touched, sparks of electricity erupted and a beautiful dance ensued within the boundary of that tightly seal space. In that moment, their breaths became eager, impatience delved deeper and deeper into their anxious lips.

At first, it was Gu Hai, whose lips latched securely onto Bai Luo Yin’s thin lips, tasting, teasing, and nibbling, unwilling to release it from within his own hunger stricken mouth. But afterwards, Bai Luo Yin’s tongue snaked out, seized Gu Hai’s tongue with his own and pulled it into his ardently awaiting cavity. Gu Hai’s heart stopped, the mere contact of their tongues, sent shivers through his nerves, shivers that made his whole body tremble in ecstasy.

Like two famished kids that haven’t consumed anything for several days, the moment they saw their mother’s breast, they would gnaw at it as if their life depended on it. They would continue to nibble and bite, locking inseparably on those precious teats until those areolar glands produce the liquid needed to sustain life, as it continued to mixed and melt together with their saliva.

That is when the taste of remembering, of missing and……of longing to see what’s precious again, has reached its’ pinnacle.

Deepening the kiss, they reveled in each other taste as their tongues intertwined and wrestled about. The need to know and explore each other was an assurance……an assurance that they existed in this time and space, together.

For the longest time, their hands searched for each other in agony, and it was only when they firmly grasped each other, did their search ended.

Separation, is a painful and……….an excruciatingly torturous, yet trivial matter. But, never having felt separation, you will never experience the deep feeling of love that you have for someone.

As it turns out, I miss you……I long to see you.

In every lonely night.

Under every cold blanket.

Only then, did I realized, how much……I needed you.

Bai Luo Yin gradually brought his own actions to a halt. Slowly and deliberately, yet somewhat reluctant, he shifted his face away from Gu Hai’s. He then, nestled his own disoriented head into the crevice of Gu Hai’s anticipating shoulder. His lungs cried out in need and beckoned him to allow air in, so slowly and unhurriedly, he breathe, somewhat panting. Inhale and exhale. Inhale and……. then, his eyes open in realization as it gazed straight in the direction of Gu Hai’s bouncing Adam’s apple.

Gu Hai tilted his head slightly to the side, feigning anger as he peered down at Bai Luo Yin, whose brows had somehow managed to knit together, creating those lines that laid ignorantly between them. The tone of his voice was infused with the complaint of a person who was about to face death.

“This entire month, you’ve almost tortured me to death!”

At long last, it was today, that Bai Luo Yin finally came to understand and gain more knowledge on what the idiom, ‘the villain sues his victim before he himself is prosecuted,’ meant.

His soft and tender face, which was normally a seldom sight to come by, immediately tightened in dismay, frustration clearly evident along the lines of his statuesque countenance.

“You fucking have the nerve to say it’s me? Who’s to fucking blame for this?”

Gu Hai thought about it……the cause from the past that affected the events of today and possibly the future. But even then, he could not find anything that would put him at an advantage.

Ultimately, he had no choice but to admit, “Blame me.”

Bai Luo Yin coldly grunted, humph! Before his hand curled into a fist and ruthlessly smashed into the pit of Gu Hai’s stomach for a while.

Gu Hai took the chance, seized Bai Luo Yin’s hands and secured it with his own. He then pulled said boy’s hand close to his quivering lips and gently kissed it. Even then, his heart was still a bit unstable as it continuously throbbed within the cavity of his tight chest.

“Even if I’m to blame, you also shouldn’t have been so cruel and heartless, right? You adamantly said you wouldn’t see me anymore and you really didn’t……and you said you’ll walk on the streets with other people and you really did. We’ve been apart for such a long time, isn’t it even a bit unbearable, a bit painful for you as well?”

Bai Luo Yin pulled his hand back and sat upright, “Even if I am in pain or can’t bare it, I still won’t let you see it!”

Gu Hai sat up, both of his arms encircled Bai Luo Yin’s frame from behind. Hugging him with great care as his chest rested devotedly against it. His chin snuggled their way atop Bai Luo Yin’s shoulder, remaining comfortably there.

And, with great interest, he asked, “In what ways did you suffer? Tell me about it.”

“What is there to say about this?” Bai Luo Yin became annoyed, somewhat angry.

Gu Hai’s seductive lips slowly caressed the nape of Bai Luo Yin’s neck, before he softly stated, “I want to hear it.”

His sultry voice and the heat that secreted from within his lips, made the hair on Bai Luo Yin’s neck stand on end.

“You know, you’re an especially despicable person. You always take pleasure in other people’s pain and suffering.” Bai Luo Yin also recalled Gu Hai’s previous statement, “You even said I’m cruel and heartless, am I more heartless than you? You got two soldiers to beat up relentlessly. So tell me, how much have I suffered? If it happened to you, how would you feel?”

Just because of a misunderstanding, the person who usually showed the most consideration and took the best care of you, actually hits you when he said he would……. every single time Bai Luo Yin thought of this matter, a fit of rage would consume his mind for while.

Gu Hai immediately straightened up his body, his gazed locked with Bai Luo Yin’s. As a sense of urgency ravished the expression in his eyes.

“I have to explain this matter to you. That’s right, I did order those two young soldiers over, but I absolutely did not instruct them to attack you. They misinterpreted my intentions and thought that the person I like was Shi Hui. So. when they saw the two of you being intimate, they just……”

Bai Luo Yin felt as if two persimmons had smashed right on to his skull. His heart felt someone disgusted. What do you call this? It just like being arrested, for no reason at all while strolling the streets, then dragged to the police station, then locked up. Before you know know it, you’re being beaten up for an entire day and night, only to be told early the next morning, that they caught the wrong person………

Bai Luo Yin’s face darkened as he got up and off the sofa. He silently walked back toward his own bed.

Gu Hai’s heart also became tormented.

“I know I’m an asshole because of that. Later on, every time I thought about it, I also felt especially tormented, but at that time, for the sake of venting my own selfish anger, I gritted my teeth and refrained myself from going to see you. Tomorrow, I’m going back to the army base. There’s still some things that I have to bring back. Come with me, I’ll retrieve those two young soldiers, you can punish them however you like. What do you think?”

Bai Luo Yin shot a deathly glance at Gu Hai, “You’re the person that should be punished the most!”

Gu Hai laid back down on the bed and sprawled. His four, long and lanky limbs stuck out in all directions. He glanced over, eyes engrossed in and obsessed with Bai Luo Yin’s prepossessing appearance.

“Come, you can punish me however you want.”

Bai Luo Yin did not pay any attention to him. He simply squeezed himself into the blanket.

Gu Hai used his leg to nudge Bai Luo Yin, “I gave you such a good opportunity and you choose not to cherish it.”

Bai Luo Yin’s indolent voice transmitted from within the blanket, “Forget about it, just let the past remain in the past. I was also wrong. We don’t need to blame each other. Let’s see what your actions are like later on.”

Imitating Bai Luo Yin’s action, Gu Hai also squeezed himself into the blanket. He then placed his hand over Bai Luo Yin’s shoulder.

The sound of Bai Luo Yin’s voice thundered in the room when he gave said boy a warning, “Sleep.”

“I wasn’t thinking of doing anything else!”

While Gu Hai said this, he grabbed onto Bai Luo Yin’s entire body and turned him over, so that his face was facing his own. His hands snaked around Bai Luo Yin’s waist as he affectionately hugged him. Perfectly contented, he closed his eyes.

It’s been longer than a month…

….and this, was the first peaceful night of sleep for both of them.



Are you addicted?

The original novel is written by Chai Jidan

I do not own any of its’ content

I am merely an amateur translator/editor