low low prices

the puppy bowl is the greatest invention of the 21st century. hair dryers included.
NOW SELLING: BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER (BPD)

this is a limited time offer, kids!! 100% off!! with the low low price of free you get bpd! we’re even going to get rid of the 5.99 shipping and handling costs. 

but wait, there’s more!

call now and you’ll receive a lifetime of Suffering absolutely free of charge.

that’s right. a LIFETIME of SUFFERING absolutely FREE!!

this is the only place you can get this amazing deal at such a price!! if you’re interested please call the toll free number below:

1-800-kill-me

benefits of being my friend

-“low-maintenance”; 90% of the time, i’ll be too afraid of saying the wrong thing to talk to you at all!
-“similar interest”; because i’ll mirror tf out of you
-“excellent conversationalist”; You’ll know all about my trauma in no time!
-“full of excitement and spur-of-the-moment ideas”; emotional instability! splitting! intrusive thoughts! self-destructive impulses!

All of This, and Much More, can be yours for the low low price of All of your time and energy!
Serious Inquiries Only, please.

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Hey!!! I need help getting money to get this table at lbcc so I thought I’d open for commissions!!
My best work is physical so that’s what you’ll be getting
Full body/headshot/waist up/
Lineart: $10 /$6/$8
Flat color: $12/$8/$10
Full detail: $15/$11/$13
(Adding a character is $5 more)
(Physical copy can be sent to you for $4)
I am comfortable drawing everything except straight up nude po/rn (pedofilia, incest also) but I’m kinda desperate so kinks n fetishes are a-ok

Please reblog this if you can it would mean the WORLD to me

Help Me Afford Top Surgery

https://www.etsy.com/listing/498227075/green-knit-scarf?ref=shop_home_active_1


This is a link to a scarf I made. I am trying out Etsy for the first time and there will be more products to come! 

This would made a great Christmas present for a loved one! 

All proceeds will be going toward my top surgery, anything helps! Thank you :)

**Will ship within the US**


I don’t shoplift because I’m a grown-up, but every time I need something from Walmart, the loss prevention dude stays so close to me that we might as well be grinding on each other.

It’s like I’m at prom in hell and the theme is low, low prices.

Like, if you want to go on this shopping journey with me, all you have to do is ask. I’m down. Let’s do it, my man. It would be way less weird than what’s going on now. You’ve been staring at the Katy Perry lipsticks for, like, ten straight minutes. And I know they’re not for you, because you look like you haven’t used chapstick in ten thousand years.

And what teenage boy wears a bluetooth? Just give it up, Caleb, or whatever the hell your name is. I know you work here. Your cover’s blown. Might as well just come hold my hand at this point, since you’re so worried that I’m going to find a way to stuff an entire box of tampons into my workout shorts.

Or maybe you have a crush on me, but also a bondage fetish, and so you’re trying to get me arrested so you can confirm that I look good in handcuffs before you ask me out. That’s fine, but whatever it is, just be upfront about it so we can quit playing this game. I’m tired. Get it together.

For The Low Low Price Of All Your Earthly Possessions And Just One Soul Binding Blood Pact: You Too Can Earn The Lofty Title Of ‘Honorary Council Member’ And Receive The Following Perk’s

  • Owls Probably Wont Attack You On Sight
  • Th
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  • All Thease And More With This Incredible New Offer
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SO YEAH.
Keramisa’s birthday is on Feb 6, and she wants 100 Black Lion Chest Keys for her birthday. Or even more! I am here to make it happen. Commission time.

Again, only sketches (example) (and you’ve seen the stuff I did for other people)
- 10 Black Lion Chest Keys for headshot/bust
- 15 Black Lion Chest Keys for full body
+ 5 Black Lion Chest Keys per extra character
Keys go to this GW2 account: aketan.3689

What to do to get commission:
- send me a letter to aketantan@mail.ru, including your tumblr nickname and GW2 account name
- get these references ready, the more the better. tell me a bit about your character’s personality
- tell me what emotion or action you want to see on the image
- don’t throw keys at me before I accept your commission, please =w=
- I reserve the right to decline the commission if I will feel uncomfortable with drawing things you requested (this probably will not happen though)

Please, don’t send me messages ingame or in tumblr chat or in askbox. One simple letter to aketantan@mail.ru will be enough. Thank you!

P.S. I will use all the keys on her birthday and also I will get her a cake. Yay!

A Guide To Pucci’s Weird Hair

So, it’s not uncommon to see people struggling with drawing Pucci’s hair, and that’s fine. It’s weird, both versions of it, and even I have trouble with it sometimes. A while back, as you might recall, I tried to draw up a handy guide for drawing Pucci’s hair, but it was shitty quality. So now, I’ve drawn up a much better one, and I hope it sheds some light for all you aspiring Pucci-drawing-people.

This package includes: the Original and Final versions of both hairstyles, from a variety of interesting angles, all for the low, low price of free! Enjoy!

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Witches Series - City Witches in Urban Nights

Walking in cities at night under electric lights, the moon distant, stars barely there and the sounds of the city alive in their ears. Holding their breath, disappearing in flickering lights, hiding behind computers and tv screens, trying to find something to hold onto in urban spaces… There is another kind of magic for witches awake at night in cities of glass, concrete & steel, it’s a different kind of hunger, an emotionally detached want for something sharp, something uncertain they can’t quite figure out…

Supermarket Gothic
  • You enter the store breathing heavily. No one has brought in the shopping carts from the lot. Ever. The carts hold rein over the parking lot now. The shoppers are scared.
  • A young man cries at the entrance to the Organic Foods aisle, holding a bucket and mop. A thick, blue liquid covers the floor and growls emanate from the darkness within.
  • Every time you look, you see a new sale tag. The bread, the soup, frozen meals, children, adults, concepts, souls. It all has a price. A low, low price.
  • A pop song plays over the sound system. Barely discernable. The singer is so quiet. Soon, they aren’t singing at all. The music simply continues without them.
  • You grab for a box of cereal and as you remove it from the shelf, you drop it. The bottom rips open as it hits the floor and a large rat crawls out. A hand reaches out, old and gnarled, dragging the scrabbling creature back into the colorful cardboard box.
  • You’re watching a child oggle the cheap plastic toys as you peruse the magazines. You glance down at the article in the new PEOPLE and as you look up, the child is gone. A shuffling in the nearby rack of on-sale scarves disturbs you a bit.
  • You open the freezer to get a bag of frozen chicken and are delighted by the smell of lilac. A beautiful field of flowers stretches before you, a howling darkness on the horizen, steadily getting closer. You grab a bag of chicken from amidst the flowers and shut the door.
  • The door to the meat packing area opens by itself. A nondescript brown package of meat being hurled onto the counter, a tag reading them as the weekly special, $0.99/lb. No one questions the contents.
  • “You will fall ill. Your project will go under. You will not find true love this year. You will lose a fingernail to a hammer.” The cashier slowly reads off the receipt with a monotonous tone, then hands it to you, “Have a nice day. Your change is a good stock rise.” You watch the sun set as you step outside with your bags. It is always setting.