loving fearlessly

You deserve someone who stays no matter how passionately you display your love and how fearlessly you show your emotions. You deserve someone who is not afraid of the way you love them.

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The sun bear’s powerful claws are built for tearing into termite mounds and rotten wood in search of grubs and insects to eat.  But this bear also has a sweet tooth; in Indonesian and Malay they’re also called “beruang madu”, literally meaning “honey bear”.  Sun bears are known to love honey, and will fearlessly tear open bee hives to get it.  They have an exceptionally long tongue, up to 25 centimetres in length, meant for lapping honey and grubs out of crevices and insect nests.

@ladygaga: I don’t know how to put a price on a friendship. I’m not even sure how you can assess the size of its meaning, only really your heart truly knows and it’s too special for words. I feel two competing feelings. Firstly, that I will live everyday with more passion, more determination, more compassion and more giving than ever before. Because that’s who she was, and it’s what drew us to each other, and I know it’s what she always wanted for me. She had this incredible way of releasing me from the anchor of my own sadness that held me back, she loved me fearlessly while I learned how to cope with fame and stay inspired no matter how scared I was. She knew all I cared about was the music. She made that ok. The other feeling I have is that of being robbed of the last 10 years of my life, friendship and career with her. Like someone took her from us, and with that taking took all the good times. I know that’s not true, and I know that I have those memories forever, I’m just in shock that I will never have new ones with her. I’m in shock that I won’t see her again until I pass too. I vow to be a little stronger everyday for her because that what she would have wanted, I vow to be stronger for anyone who’s lost somebody to cancer. I’m a part of that family now. I vow to be a warrior for her and be a voice for cancer patients so the world can continue to improve the dialogue and the fight. I loved her. I still love her. And I love so much her husband Andre, stepson Sante, and friends. I made them some food yesterday. I will keep cooking. Cooking my soul until it understands this.
Last thing I told her, “Go find Joanne, Sonj.” Somehow I think she did.

I remember when we decided it was best to part ways, you told me that you don’t know how you could ever move on. It was you that told me that this was a mistake, that I was wrong.

You told me that you were happy, that my sadness wasn’t a burden. But when you told me you loved me it sounded more like throwing a floating device to a drowning child than it did a vow of forever.

I smiled, I kissed you and I walked away. Walking away from the best thing that has ever happened to me was the hardest thing I have ever done. I have ripped open my own skin, I have stolen the nutrients from my own stomach, I have isolated myself and I have tried to find answers at the bottom of bottles and empty pill packets. What I’m saying is I am no stranger to self inflicted pain, some could argue I am an expert in punishing myself for existing. 

But walking away from you was the most pain I have ever exposed myself to. Walking away from light at the end of the tunnel, and back into the darkness was like handing an addict the bottle. 

I think that you mistook my sacrifice for you as a punishment. But it was like setting the lion that has only ever known captivity free to roam. In the beginning he may miss the boundaries and the safety, but that is just Stockholm Syndrome and the more grass he feels beneath his feet the further he will want to run.

I check up on you, and I think you have found the ability to run. You are thriving, and she makes you so happy. I am not saying that I didn’t make you happy. But I’m admitting that you were too scared not to be happy around me, almost as if you showed sadness that you feared that you would never get that ‘good morning’ text off me. Like if you reminded me what sadness looks like that it would consume me when the sun went down and I would never see the sun rise again.

—  Loving me was too much pressure for a young boy who loves life. I am happy that you can love her fearlessly, I am glad you can be sad with her, I am glad that you can fight with her and go to sleep peacefully knowing you will be able to sort it out in the morning.
He was destined for greatness, had a bright future, and a kindhearted soul. He had so much potential but he let his fears consume him. He let himself become something entirely different. He was no longer destined for greatness, instead, he was destined to live in fear forevermore.

To whomever is reading this. Don’t be afraid to live a little, for if you become fearful of the world ahead of you, you will never fully live. Do not be like him, you are all destined for greatness and you all have a bright future, so please, do not live in fear. Live life to the fullest. Focus on the present, not the past nor the future, because if you don’t, there’ll be nothing left of you. All your happiness will diminish. Your lives are worth so much, so don’t waste a second of it. Go out, live your dreams and live fearlessly. You’ll see the weight of the world fall off your shoulders, I promise you.

—  Live fearlessly
via littlemissimaginary
Forgive Me. [JHope/Hoseok; Angst]

“If I could see you again I, I want to show you everything I have. My heart that’s beating to hold you tight, I want to convey it all to you, I, for real for real, until you hold this sincerity in your embrace once again.” - J-Hope

[From “Hug Me” Taehyung & J-hope version; Trans cr; @BTS0222]

The sequel to “Hug Me”. [Please read that first.] 

Summary: How can one gain forgiveness from someone who is no longer in a position to give it? How can one be forgiven if they refuse to forgive themselves? How can one move forward to the future… if the past was so much better?  

Hoseok x Reader/ Hoseok x his daughter; Angst

A/N: So this is the REAL thing that I was writing during my plane ride >.< since it was safe to write with public eyes around lol I’m sorry for the April Fool’s joke, but anyways, here is the angst that no one asked for. :) 

Originally posted by hobiga

         Hoseok was never the same again after the death of his wife. No longer did his smile radiate like the sun, no longer did his laughter ring infectiously. Days after his wife’s death, he locked himself inside his house with his daughter, tormented by the questions of her young mind.

           "Where’s mommy?“ she constantly asked.

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Mofftiss’ Masterpiece

(Or: How The Watson’s Marriage Was Done So Right, It Hurts - A Johnlock Perspective)

When Mary was first introduced into the show, we very graciously welcomed her into our hearts, trusting that the writers had some kind of plan. We knew that they were facing the difficult task of staying true to canon while further developing the relationship arc between John and Sherlock. Not an easy feat, but we had faith: Eventually, we would see Mary’s true colours, John would return to Baker Street - all would be well.

But, alas, it did not happen. And the fandom was flabbergasted. What were Mofftiss playing at? However, there are actually two really good reasons for doing what they did:

One, you can’t just turn one of the very few original female characters into something negative. I mean you can, but I really don’t think Mofftiss wanted to. Two, there was a much, much more beautiful route. And Mofftiss took it. 

Because what do you do, when you can’t make a character lovable due to the risk of heteronormativity, and you can’t make her unlovable due to risk of misogyny? The answer is: You make her awesome. You make her the best, most brilliant hero ever. And then you let her make a really strong case in point: No one can compete with Sherlock Holmes. 

(Read-more link for mobiles)

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Manon Pregnancy HC/Theory; Elide Lochan: Heart of Darkness?

[For everyone who kept asking for this, I’m sorry it took me so long!] Let me say this: I will be the first one to tell you that I absolutely HATE pregnancy plot lines. So as much as the art kid/visual culture nerd in me wants this to happen, I also DO NOT want it to happen. And I can honestly see the ending of the series playing out 1,000 different ways. This is just one way that my art-nerd heart loves. Do I think it will happen this way? Eh. It’s significantly more complicated than Manorian/Rowaelin/Elorcan/anyone “Mutli-Heir Theory of Lock”-ing their way to seal the gate. But who knows!

This post also includes: 

  1. “Bonus Manorian HC” so scroll to that (you’ll see it in huge font) if that’s what you’re here for. (It’s angsty so GET READY!)
  2. “Elide Lochan Heart of Darkness” is more a HC that I haven’t fully explored. But it would deal with Petrah, Manon, Iskra (yuck), and Elide teaming up to play a significant role is how this all goes down. So skip to that header if you clicked for that.

The MMC Manon Pregnant Theory is this: 

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We entered each others lives, not when we had it all together, but when we were gathering the pieces. We looked at each other at our worst and said “Right now this is all i have to give” and that was okay. We encouraged one another to unapologetically be who we are to the core of our being. And we loved boldly and fearlessly despite the hurts of our pasts.
—  Maryann Hart

@ladygaga: I don’t know how to put a price on a friendship. I’m not even sure how you can assess the size of its meaning, only really your heart truly knows and it’s too special for words. I feel two competing feelings. Firstly, that I will live everyday with more passion, more determination, more compassion and more giving than ever before. Because that’s who she was, and it’s what drew us to each other, and I know it’s what she always wanted for me. She had this incredible way of releasing me from the anchor of my own sadness that held me back, she loved me fearlessly while I learned how to cope with fame and stay inspired no matter how scared I was. She knew all I cared about was the music. She made that ok. The other feeling I have is that of being robbed of the last 10 years of my life, friendship and career with her. Like someone took her from us, and with that taking took all the good times. I know that’s not true, and I know that I have those memories forever, I’m just in shock that I will never have new ones with her. I’m in shock that I won’t see her again until I pass too. I vow to be a little stronger everyday for her because that’s what she would have wanted, I vow to be stronger for anyone who’s lost somebody to cancer. I’m a part of that family now. I vow to be a warrior for her and be a voice for cancer patients so the world can continue to improve the dialogue and the fight. I loved her. I still love her. And I love so much her husband Andre, stepson Sante, and friends. I made them some food yesterday. I will keep cooking. Cooking my soul until it understands this.

Last thing I told her, “Go find Joanne, Sonj.” Somehow I think she did. @sonjad7777 #sonjadurham #grigiogirls

Childhood nights
by torchlight
under covers, covert.
I used to skip to
the last page
of books
barely begun.


Years later,
in a bigger bed,
the pages turn politely
one by one
counting upwards.
But the
temptation
to see how
it’s all going to
end
isn’t gone.
Pausing,
fingers indenting the page,
I can’t stop myself
from thinking ahead.
How will it all be resolved?
Who’s fate is happy
and who is headed
for tragedy?
I’m right, more often than not.
Stories and I are old friends
by now.
I’m always finishing their
sentences.


When I was with him
I couldn’t stop
my mind
from skipping to our ending.
Right from the very beginning,
I wanted to know
when
he would tire of me.
I thought,
“This week he will end it.”
He didn’t.
So I thought,
maybe February,
when the
frost
begins to thaw,
he will see
that I won’t ever bloom.
Or,
I thought,
August, at the latest.
One Autumn,
of me is enough
for a lifetime
after all.
In the end,
I was the one to leave,
just a few weeks
after he told me
he loved me.


What we desire in stories
is understanding
of someone else in the intimate way we think we understand ourselves.


I can’t help but wonder: are we all
ignorant of
who we are and
what we feel
or is that
just me?


A different person
brushes my lips with theirs now.
She is gentler
with me,
shyer
of me.
She likes me,
a lot, I think,
I hope, childishly.
But
I can still hear the
countdown.
The noise is muffled,
I can’t make out the numbers.
Please,
don’t stop loving me until
the day
a continent is separating us.
I want to think about all the kisses
and coffee dates and lazy days and
inside jokes and secret thoughts
shared with only each other we
have ahead of us.
But part of me is
already thinking
of us
as an
“after.”


What we desire in love
is understanding,
that someone will know us better
than we could ever know ourselves
and still want to learn more.


One day,
I hope
my fearful heart
will love someone so fearlessly
that it will stop counting down
the moments until
I am alone
again
and instead
start tallying up the
number of beats
it has spent in
their presence.

—  L.H