loves carrots

“Captain, this is damn stupid.”
“I know, sir,” said Carrot. “They are the facts, sir.”
“But they’re not the right facts! They’re stupid facts!”
“I know, sir. I can’t imagine His Lordship trying to kill anyone.”
“Are you mad?” said Vimes. “I can’t imagine him saying sorry!”

– on the facts | Terry Pratchett, The Truth

tiny fic for @jacesdaylighter, who i’ve been wanting to write something for for AGES because kelsey is amazing and always sends me amazing things about jimon and even tolerates my love for carrots (not the vegetable) :’)

y’all null path length is a programming thing found in data structures so if you want to nerd it up message me and i’ll tell you why it fits perfectly with this fic. disclaimer in case anyone actually knows what npl is and gets on my case: the definition below is super romanticized and npl in reality has a few more restrictions.

null path length || (jace/simon, 2k+, sick!fic + maryse meets simon)

null path length: the length of the shortest node path between a parent and a child

Jace rarely gets sick, so it’s not really his fault that he doesn’t notice the slight discomfort in his throat. In the grand scheme of daily bruises he endures, a tiny little sore throat isn’t a big deal. 

When he collapses on the floor of the Institute in the middle of talking to Maryse, however, it sort of becomes a big deal. 

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noolss  asked:

okay al so imagine: Neil and Andrew have been on the same pro team for a while when their nutritionist enlists neils help to improve Andrews diet. the high ups enforce it. how would Neil convince Andrew to eat healthier?? he'll find a way, Andrews jobs depends on it (but like imagine how funny this could be) <3

what’s this? al answering a prompt that’s been in her inbox for seven months? YIKES

  • it starts when andrew opens the freezer one morning for breakfast
  • and there’s no ice cream
  • there’s a bag of peas and sweetcorn
  • there’s an empty ice tray
  • but there’s no ice cream
  • which is strange, because andrew remembers buying some the other day
  • and andrew never forgets
  • he goes back out to the lounge where neil is giving sir an intense stare while scratching behind his ears
  • which is a sure sign of guilt. neil is intense, but he says that the cats are the most calming influence in his life. which is sappy.
  • so andrew stands there and waits for neil to meet his eyes
  • (generally andrew’s found that if he exists for long enough in neil’s presence, he starts talking)
  • (sometimes even when andrew isn’t there neil will start talking)
  • maybe if neil doesn’t respond, andrew’s death glare will develop true murderous powers. that would be a win-win, as far as andrew is concerned.

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One Piece 856

1) One of the most beautiful chapters I ever read in One Piece.

Originally posted by alnxcix


2)  Before Jimbei words…

The sadness in Nami’s face has made me cry:

3) Vinsmokes are disgusting and sexists. I hope Nami puts her Perfect Clima Tact in their anus. 

4) Luffy is the most clever, kind and beautiful main character I ever read in the shonen manga whole history, and I love him so much, so much.

5) The way Sanji thinks in his nakama brokes my heart again.

5) Sanji’s tears are poison for me, but the way in wich he is absolutely hopeless, kills me.

Bonus:

In One Piece, the slaps of love are the best:

CONCLUSION: EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.

Originally posted by week

tbh one big reason i think it’d be cool if carrot joined the straw hats is that’d it’d do something to alleviate the dichotomy between the guys and the ladies on the crew??

like, nami and robin are completely different people from each other, and i appreciate and recognize that.  but it’s easy for ppl to lump them together as just ~the girls~ because of things like how they both almost never participate in crew gags, they’ll just be in the background eyerolling or looking bemused by most of the boys getting excited about things.  there’s this undercurrent of “oh you’re girls, you wouldn’t understand” when usopp, luffy, franky, brook etc get excited about robot stuff or whatever.

and that’s something you see from female characters so much: this misconception that the girls always have to be the voice of reason to the annoying, excitable boys who care about things “girls don’t care about” like NINJAS or ROBOTS.  

it doesn’t bother me thaaaat much because like i said, robin and nami are great characters and very unique from each other nonetheless, but still can you imagine how refreshing it would be to have a female crewmember who totally destroys that???

carrot participates in the gags.  she’s aggressive, she’s passionate, she’s reckless, she’s excitable.  she’d sure as hell start freaking out over a robot.  she’d be HAPPY to participate in something like pirates docking 6.

if she joined the crew, it’d force oda to stop separating the crew into “the boys who love cool stuff and are reckless!!!” and “the girls who just don’t get it” for gags, and idk, i think that’d be really nice.  the concept of girls being the rational ones and the voice of reason to the “”funny, stupid”” boys is a lot less grating and trope-y if one of the girls isn’t that way at all.  

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Dedicated to : @cloudyloudy @miguelcool2000 @crispyfactor @aureliano276

Thank you guys