lovephrases

…The worst part of all of this is that no matter how much of a jackass you are lately, it’s still never quite bad enough to make me forget the kind person you were when we first met. Sometimes I wish you’d just flat out SAY something awful, so I could be angry enough to cut you off. This silence is far worse, far more menacing than any other pain I’ve known, because it’s not just quietness. It hangs like fog in the air where something else once was. You don’t know how many times I’ve had to stop myself from texting you about pointless, mundane things because I just want you to be a part of my daily life again. The stupid stuff- what I had for breakfast, why I was late for work, the annoying things my classmates do… It all just mattered so much more when I could tell you about it. The funny thing is, before you came into the picture, I was just fine. I was one entire, whole person, secure with my insecurities, and maybe not my happiest self, but certainly okay. Then you came along and all of the sudden all the little things were bigger and good things were better and the bad things were manageable. If anything, you added something to this everyday. So one would think- it would make sense- that in the event of you leaving, things would go back to the way they were. Me being secure, okay, etc. But it’s not. You took more than you brought with you and now I’m just not the same. And still worse, after you took what you took- somehow I don’t think you’re any better either. I believe deep down, in my heart if hearts, that you’re wounded, too. Knowing that, every time i pray for my own strenght, I pray that God is beside you always, as He’s beside me too, and somehow we can still be near eachother even though we can’t see it. It’s like a sad song you just can’t stop replaying because the pain is so real; our song, our timing, its the saddest song I know. Just two people who found each other and lost a little piece of themselves.
—  My Kindred Spirit