I miss my mum every day. You take for granted the small stuff, chatting about your day, knowing you can call round whenever and the hug and kiss you would always get. I miss all of these things immensely and I can’t believe she is no longer here. The pain is overwhelming and 12 months on it still is. I’ve felt like a zombie for a year and I know time heals but losing my mum nearly killed the person I am, a strong and independent person who can pretty much deal with most things in life. You question your life and the people in it, friends you thought you could count on disappear and you feel like you are alone even though there are lots of people around you. Some of these things make you feel like you are going mad .. You are not!!
Grief is a very strange thing, there are stages of grief but who can actually recognise where you are when you are stuck in one of the stages? You can speak to professionals which is supposed to help you understand what you are feeling, but do these people actually know what it’s like? You speak to colleagues that you work with, your friends, your extended family but if people haven’t actually lost their mum, how can they understand the level of pain you feel without judgement?
This is my outlet, to share feelings I am going through in the hope it might help someone else. I wished I had thought about this sooner. This is my place to share things that I would like to share with my mum - pictures, quotes and messages. I love you dearly mum, not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. Keep watching over us