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Charlie Swan: There’s… things you need to think about if you’re going to be physically intimate-

Bella Swan: Ok! Don’t-don’t have the talk, please.

Charlie Swan: Well, it’s just… It’s just as embarrassing for me as it is for you.

Bella Swan: I doubt that. And don’t bother ‘cause Mom already beat you to it like, ten years ago.

Charlie Swan: Well, you didn’t have a boyfriend ten years ago.

Bella Swan: I’m sure things work… the same way.

Charlie Swan: Alright. So, you guys are taking precautions and-

Bella Swan: OK, Dad? Please just don’t worry about that. Edward is… old-school.

Charlie Swan: Old-school. Great. What’s that, like code for something?

Bella Swan: Oh my God, Dad? I’m a virgin.

Charlie Swan: Ah, duh, duh, duh, duh… Glad we covered that…

Bella Swan: [Walking up stairs] Me too!

Charlie Swan: [To himself] A virgin… Like Edward a little bit more now.