lovely number nine

Love Potion Number Nine

Summary: Derek decides to take a love potion, but things don’t go quite the way he intended.
Note: Written for Teen Wolf Bingo (“Stiles/Derek”). Loosely based on the song by the same name. (On AO3)


“Deputy Stilinski,” he hears over the radio. “We have reports of what appears to be a drunk and disorderly accosting people on the sidewalk.” Stiles looks up from the ticket he’s writing. It figures, on the one day he’s assigned as the downtown traffic cop. “He’s near your location,” dispatch continues, giving him pertinent information.

“Okay, I’ll intercept,” he says, ripping the ticket from the pad and tucking it under some poor fool’s windshield wiper. Shouldn’t have illegally parked, buddy.

Keep reading

2

moodboard requests

↪ kylux “love potion” au (in which ben accidentally makes sizzurp and they accidentally fuck highdrunk)  for @theweddingofthefoxes

Ben rolls the old dusty bottle filled with a viscous purplypink liquid between his fingers, “Love Potion Number Nine? What do you think, Hux?”

“I think I must have lost my mind when I agreed to help you clean out your fathers hoarder basement in January, it’s freezing down here. And there are definitely spiders. I don’t care what your mum promised.”

“Quit bitchin’ and get cups and some ice were going to try this. I bet it’s some trippy shit my uncle left down here. It looks old as fuck, the label is peeling off.”

Hux mumbles his way back down the stairs about how ancient bottles and peeling labels are a only clear sign that scream Drink Me! to people like Ben, “Here,” He shoves two cups filled to the top with ice into Ben’s chest.

“Should you really be mixing that – and where did you even get that vodka from, Ben? For all you know its rubbing alcohol and rat poison.”

“Stop asking questions. Here. Drink.”

“This tastes a lot like cough syrup…”

“Shut up Hux. It’s fine.”

Nine: cares for John after he runs into the Mogadorian forcefield, constantly gives John life advice he doesn’t need, shows John vulnerability after almost throwing him off of the Hancock center in Chicago, gets angry when John picks Sarah and Six to go find Five instead of him, runs off to find John to heal his hand when he breaks it on Five’s face despite Marina being in the room when it happens, threatens to hot wire a truck to drive back to Chicago to find John and make sure he’s ok, takes Six telling him they would have felt it if John died to calm him down, “You need my affection now more than ever”, “You’re soft, Johnny”, gets his own special spiritual library with John and no one else, tenses when Five calls John bloodthirsty, told the soliders to cease fire on the mere chance they could hit John instead of Five during flight training, apologizes to John for being a piece of shit, tells him he’d rather live in a world with John in it, missed the shit out John after the final fight and is in complete awe when John is in front of him for the first time after a year

John: takes the time to learn Nine as a person even if it starts out insufferably, is constantly surprised and interested by Nine’s character and how he acts, makes jokes about Nine to lighten the mood for everyone else when Nine isn’t around, actively worries about Nine despite the constant “he can take care of himself” reminders he gives himself in Fate of Ten and from also knowing Nine as a strong warrior, has to remind himself Nine can take care of himself, thinks about Nine more than Sarah in Fate of Ten, pays attention to how careful he has to be to heal Nine when Five almost kills him, doesn’t give a shit about Nine’s irrational judgement, challenges Nine’s plans and authority often, trusts Nine to take out Five if he acts out of line when John goes to demand that Five teach him how to fly, forgives Nine for all of the shit he’s put up with, sees Nine first after being absent for a year with most pages of the epilogue dedicated to their reunion,

Me:

Math Fact: All numbers are equations; 9 is a Fixed Point.

You may be wondering why we count numbers the way we do. If you’re not wondering that, well, now you are, because by subliminal suggestion, you read that first sentence and were forced to ponder it.

Wait I’m supposed to be talking about math.

Right.

Okay, so numbers. Numbers are easy to count. 1…2…3…4…and so on. You don’t even have to think about them. But we’re gonna do just that, because numbers are magical mystical beings from another realm actually an incremental series of one basic equation.

(10n0-1)(Yk0) + (10n1-1)(Yk1) + (10n2-1)(Yk2) + (10n3-1)(Yk3) + ….

Where Yk is defined as an integer digit to the left of the decimal point, and n is defined as the placement of Yk0 with respect to the decimal point.

As an example, let’s take the number 49.

Yk0 = 9
Yk1 = 4

In this case, Yk0 is located 2 spots in front of the decimal point, thus:

n = 2
n-1 = 1

Let’s put all of this together:

(100)(9) + (101)(4)
= (1)(9) + (10)(4)
= 9 + 40
= 49

Let’s try another number, say, 283.

Yk0 = 3
Yk1 = 8
Yk2 = 2
n0 = 2
n1 = 3
n0  – 1 = 1
n1 – 1 = 2

So, putting these into the equation, you get:

(100)(3) + (101)(8) + (102)(2)
= (1)(3) + (10)(8) + (100)(2)
= 3 + 80 + 200
= 83 + 200
= 283

Now, you’re probably wondering why you can’t just count numbers and be done with it. And that’s all fine and dandy. But this shows you something fundamental about the WAY we count numbers: all of our numbers can be simplified down to a base of 10. This explains WHY we use decimal points (you can use this same equation on the flipside of a decimal, but you always have to keep Yk0 on the left side. Yk0 will ALWAYS be the first digit to the left of the decimal.

This also explains why the standard logarithmic base is 10, as compared to 2 in some variations (if you tried to replace the “10″ in the above equations with “2,” you would have a VERY different system of counting).

Finally, this also explains why the number “9″ is what is defined as a “fixed point” under Brouwer’s Theorem. If you add up the integers of any two-or-more digit number and subtract them from the original number, the resulting number will be divisible by 9. If you repeat this process, eventually the digits will ALWAYS add up to 9 or a multiple of 9, until you reached the number 9 itself and could no longer subtract away a value.

For example, take the number 697.

6 + 9 + 7 = 22
697 - 22 = 675
675 / 75 = 9

6 + 7 + 5 = 18
675 - 18 = 657
657 / 73 = 9

6 + 5 + 7 = 18
657 - 18 = 639
639 / 71 = 9

6 + 3 + 9 = 18
639 - 18 = 621
621 / 69 = 9

Now watch…. 6 + 2 + 1 = 9
621 - 9 = 612
6 + 1 + 2 = 9
612 - 9 = 603
6 + 0 + 3 = 9

I could go on all the way down to 9, but as you can see, the added values keep switching back and forth between 9 and 18, and every single number is wholly divisible by 9.

This property is specifically due to the fact that we count by base 10. Each time you subtract, you remove one of the integers multiplied by 10. That is to say, the number 37 isn’t 30 + 7, it’s really 3+3+3+3+3+3+3+3+3+3+7 (ten 3s and a 7). By removing one of the 3s, you now only have 9, and thus, 9 remains a fixed point on the number line.

Brouwer’s Theorem doesn’t just apply to numbers, but to any closed system without holes. If you stir your coffee, no matter how you stir it, there will ALWAYS be one point that NEVER leaves it’s original position. A fixed point. No matter how you translate, scale, or twist a closed system without holes, without fail, exactly one point will NEVER change.

That’s math, people. Pretty amazing, huh?

Skimmons Fic Rec / Fic Masterpost

Hey guys! So, i’ve been working on this fic rec / masterpost (ish) for quite a while now. I have made a list of all of the fics I have read so far that I liked and arranged most of them by their content (AU, non-AU, trope) and have included the author’s rating (so you don’t accidentally open up an explicit fic as I have already bypassed AO3′s adult content warning no most of the fics) and whether they are incomplete or complete). I am pretty sure that i’ve linked all of the fics to their locations on tumblr, AO3 and ff.net, but please don’t hesitate to send me a message if I missed some out. This is my no means a complete list (i’m not sure why I called it a masterpost), so feel free to send me some fics that you like that aren’t on the list and i’ll put them on. As new Skimmons fics are being posted frequently, I will occasionally take some time to update the list, which, in addition to this post, will be available on a linked page on my tumblr blog skimmonsofficial. I have decided that it will be easier to update the list on the page on my blog rather than create a new post so that all the fics in the list will be available in one updated location. 

Enjoy, and tell me what you guys think!

The ratings on ff.net and AO3 differ.

AU

This isn’t some crappy spy movie by ImogenHoney on AO3 (T, completed) [SHIELD Academy AU]

we’re a beautiful, astronomical mess by thenightwatch on AO3 (NR, incomplete)

Her Heart Was Touched by jcncisfan913 on AO3 (T, completed)
[angsty af]

your eyes look like coming home by BerryliciousCheerio on ff.net and AO3 (T, completed)

I’ll Love You in Springtime (I Lost You When Summer Came) by JackEPeace on AO3 (T, complete)

You Can Only Take What You Can Carry by JackEPeace on AO3 (T, completed)

The Sun Came Crashing In by plinys on AO3 (T, completed)

Love Me at the Corner Cafe by Heylittleyahtzee on AO3 (T, completed)

Friends with Benefits by Thatoneloser_kid on AO3 (M, completed)

Jemma Simmons is not a Prude by RRGrokesyn on AO3 (E, completed)

Vet on Call by Thatoneloser_kid on AO3 (NR, incomplete)

The Girl I Met Last Summer by sototallyrandom on ff.net (T, completed)

Like Cigarette Smoke She Came and She Went by JackEPeace on ff.net (T, completed)

I Can’t Lap Dance by aos_skimmons on AO3 (NR, completed)

You Are Golden by Perfume_and_Promises on AO3 (G, completed)

Fourth of July by RedBeautyFTW on AO3 (T, incomplete)

Self-Titled by InLust on AO3 (E, incomplete)

Big Bang Round 2

Applied Quantum Superluminal Communication by lescousinsdangereux on AO3 (M, completed)

Big Bang Round 3

A Night so Black That the Darkness Hummed by JackEPeace on AO3  (T, Completed)

Your Mind is a Moment by pirateygoodness on AO3  (E, completed)

Fire and Gold by colonelpancake04 on AO3 (M, completed) [Soccer AU]

Skimmons Week 2014

Skimmons Week 2014  by reliquiaen on AO3 (T, completed) [series]

Skimmons Week 2015

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster - Skimmons Week 2015 by gwmclintock88 on AO3 (G, T, completed) [series]

you needed me for to slay your dragon, but we both need dragons too by Shadowcrawler on AO3 (T, completed)

Soulmates AU

Times a ticking by ImogenHoney on AO3 (T, incomplete) [High School AU]

Mermaid AU

a bit more than that by isloremipsumafterall on AO3 (T, completed)

Medieval/Fantasy AU

Wedding Jitters by happypugfics on AO3 (T, incomplete)

Lost But Not Forgotten by aos_skimmons on AO3 (T, complete)

The Bear Walker by happypugfics on AO3 (E for later chapter, incomplete)

Sex Shop AU

Candy Shop by legilimens on AO3 (T, completed)

Lady Oscar AU

The Queen & The Guard by aconfederacyofscript on AO3 (T, completed)

Skimmons as Killers/Domestic Violence AU

Just like Thelma and Louise by Agentfitzskimmons on AO3 (M, incomplete)

Mental Illness AU (TRIGGER WARNING)

messed up is an understatement by a littleunstable on AO3 (T, incomplete)

Greek Mythology AU

The Curse of the Gorgon by Happy Palm Tree on ff.net (K+, completed)

I Really Am A Greek Goddess by aos_skimmons on AO3 (NR, completed)

Childhood Friends/Friends to Lovers AU

Today, Like Any Other Day by InLust on AO3  (M, completed)

High School AU

The Best Bet She Ever Made by SkimmonsFan on AO3 (T, incomplete)

Gone Phishing by sexonastick on AO3 (T , incomplete)

More Things in Heaven and Earth by JackEPeace on ff.net (T, completed)

As The Moon Changes by Astroel on AO3 (NR, completed)

Always the Rain by reliquiaen on AO3 (T, completed)

A Day to Remember by SkimmonsFan on AO3 (T, completed)

I Don’t Know Where I’m Going (But I Know It’s Gonna Be a Long Time) by JackEPeace on AO3  (T, completed)

New Messages by HalfwayDecentFanfiction on AO3 (G, incomplete)

underneath purple skies by BerryliciousCheerio on AO3 (T, completed)

This feels like coming home. by ImogenHoney on AO3 (M, incomplete)(TW: rape/non-con)

Keep Your Hopes Up High, And Your Head Down Low by supernatural_browncoat on AO3 and Agent-Reynolds on ff.net (T, incomplete)

She’s The Man (High School) AU

loyal cantons of contemned love by willowcabins on AO3 (T, incomplete)

Grease (High School) AU

You’re the One That I Want by JackEPeace on AO3 (G, complete)

Veronica Mars (High School) AU

Come on Now, Sugar (Bring It On, Bring It On Yeah) by JackEPeace on AO3 (T, complete)

College AU

now hear this by memorysdaughter on ff.net (T, incomplete) (nearly 106k words)

roommates, best friends, girlfriends by demonsorceress on AO3 (T, complete)

I’d like it if you stayed by demonsorceress on AO3 (G, complete)

Tomb Raider/Lara Croft AU

My Many Artifacts (The List Goes On) by JackEPeace on AO3 (T, complete)

Winter Soldier AU

You Better Keep the Wolf Back From the Door by JackEPeace on AO3 (T, completed)

Zombie Apocalypse AU

Blackout by schfiftytwo on AO3 (T, incomplete)

What Changes, What Remains by Astroel on AO3 (T, incomplete)

Supervillian/Superhero AU

It might be your wound, but they’re my sutures by isthismistersmolderholder on ff.net

Superhero Secrets by aos_skimmons on AO3 (NR, completed)

Star Trek Fusion AU

sky’s the limit by isloremipsumafterall on AO3 (T, incomplete)

Fairytale AU

Once Upon a Time by JackEPeace on AO3  (G, completed)

Mad Max AU

What a Terrible World, What a Beautiful World by JackEPeace on AO3 (T, completed)

Jurassic World AU

Clever Girl by happypugfics on AO3 (E, completed)

Camp Half-Blood AU

Wisdom’s Daughter by JackEPeace on AO3 (G, completed)

Imagine Me & You AU

Alstroemeria by willowcabin on AO3 (T, completed)

Harry Potter AU

Every Little Thing She Does is Magic by JackEPeace on AO3 (T, completed)

Felix Felicis by Mandichu on AO3 (M, incomplete)

Wizards in Love by aos_skimmons on AO3 (T, completed)

Slytherin to My Heart by skimmonsfiction and happypugfics on AO3  (E, incomplete)

Dragonriders of Pern AU

Bronze Woman of Pern by happypugfics on AO3 (E, incomplete)

The Vow AU

Moments of Impact by aconfederacyofscript on AO3 (T, complete)

Wheel of Time AU

Run when you have to, fight when you must, rest when you can. by reliquiaen on AO3 (NR, completed)

Person of Interest AU

You Are Being Watched by aconfederacyofscript on AO3 (G, completed)

Vlogger AU

a breath of fresh air by demonsorceress on AO3 (G, completed)

Festive

Double-Booked by Shopgirl on AO3 (T, incomplete)

Truth or Dare Trope

It’s A Dare by aos_skimmons on AO3 (T, complete)

Sent a text to the wrong number Trope

Accidentally in Love by RandomBioHacker on AO3 and ff.net (G, incomplete) (multiple POV)

Citizenship Marriage Trope

Marry Me, ‘Cause I’d Like To Date You by aconfederacyofscript on AO3 (T, completed)

The Way Our Horizons Meet by plinys on AO3 (M, completed)

NON-AU

Burning Up by memorysdaughter on ff.net (T, completed)

It’s A Nuclear Show And The Stars Are Gone by Shopgirl on AO3 (T, incomplete)

Toughen Me Up by Thatoneloser_kid on AO3 (T, completed)

Of Chemistry and Nerve by shego on AO3 (T, completed)

Like Red Neon by Thatoneloser_kid on AO3 (G, incomplete)

My Super Crazy Ex Girlfriend by RedBeautyFTW on AO3 (T, incomplete)

Never Tell Me the Odds by underthefuckinradar (iwriteyouread) on AO3 (E, incomplete)

You are a terrible liar anyway by Thatoneloser_kid on AO3 (NR, complete)

Skye Stark by BecauseMarvelJustRocks on ff.net (T, incomplete)

and hopelessness is sinking in by letusbebrave on AO3 (M, completed)

Decode by FairytaleofNewDork on AO3 (T, complete)

You Won’t Go Through This Alone by ObsessedWithEverything808 on AO3 (T, completed)

Ready for Anything (Except that) by NattheBattz on AO3 (M, incomplete)

Finding Myself by OtherSideOfInfinity on AO3 (NR, completed)

Maybe, I Don’t Care. by hackingxbiochemist on AO3 (T, completed)

Even If I Tried by LucyLikesToWrite on AO3 (T, completed)

Switch by RRGrokesyn on AO3 (E, incomplete)

[major canon divergence] Vindicabo (Tu) by InLust & schfiftytwo on AO3 (M, incomplete)

Take my hand, let’s see where we end up tomorrow. by porter on AO3 (G, incomplete)

Una in perpetuum (Together Forever) by serenitykid7875 on AO3 (G, completed)

I’ll Be Drunk Again by hackingxbiochemist on AO3 (T, incomplete)

Deadly for you by lilucath on AO3 (NR, completed)

it’s so quiet here (and i feel so cold) by letusbebrave on AO3 (NR, incomplete)

Sound of my Voice by JackEPeace on ff.net (T, completed)

Bravado by JackEPeace on ff.net (T, completed)

and if you’re still breathing (you’re the lucky ones) by plinys on AO3 (M, complete)

[Trigger Warning] Whip by 2016jacb on AO3 (T, complete)

We Need Hints (Before We Get Tired) by JackEPeace on ff.net (T, completed)

Gets Turned into a Baby Trope

Agents Of Babysitting by ObsessedWithEverything808 on AO3 (G, completed)

Domestic 

She gets that from you by emmaface on AO3 (T, completed)

Love Potion Trope

Love Potion Number Nine by JackEPeace on ff.net (T, completed)

Childhood Friends Reunion

We are solid by Thatoneloser_kid on AO3 (NR, completed)

Split Personality Trope

Mission GL-0928-0: Dr. Simmons and Agent Grey by RRGrokesyn on AO3 (M, incomplete)

(Marvel) Civil War

Civil War by PinguMew98 on AO3 (M, incomplete)

Frozen-inspired

Frozen Heart by KatBauer on AO3 (G, completed)

Valentines Day

Young, in Love and in Paris by NandaSC on AO3 (T, completed)

Festive

it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas by LucyLikesToWrite on AO3 (G, completed)

Want to Annoy Your Family This Thanksgiving? Call Skye! by DeceitfulHonesty on AO3 (T, completed) 

Non-AU but Skye gets sent to an alternate dimension

Another Life by aos_skimmons on AO3 (T, completed)

Shorter fics & Drabbles

One Big Romantic Comedy by aconfederacyofscript​ on Tumblr  [actresses / fake dating AU]

We’re Not in Love by InLust on AO3 (M but I think it’s closer to E, incomplete)

Fic/Ficlet/Drabble Series & Collections

Days to Remember (series) by Micktrex on AO3 (G, incomplete)

Domestic Bliss Series by skimmonslab on AO3 (M, incomplete) [post-SHIELD]

143 by teeney8040 on ff.net (M, incomplete)

follow me down the rabbit hole by Shadowcrawler and unwindmyself on AO3 (M,E, incomplete) [pure smut] [Skimmons & Skimmorse]

A Series of Drabbles by kazbotinwonderland on AO3 (G, completed)

it was worth it every time. by letusbebrave on AO3 (M, incomplete)

this road was meant for two by pirateygoodness on AO3 (E, incomplete)

Can’t Imagine: Skimmons Drabble & Ficlet Collection by alessandralee on AO3 (G, incomplete)

shiny motor cars and eyeglasses full of stars by Phoebmonster on AO3 (G,T, incomplete)

if the right one came along by BerryliciousCheerio on AO3 (T, incomplete) [tumblr prompt dump]

All That We’ve Been Through by onwardtoneverland on AO3 (M, E, incomplete)

Quake by cyclothimic on AO3 (G,T, incomplete)

Skimmons Week 2014 by plinys on AO3 (G,T,M, completed)

I give up on actually drawing backgrounds lol. Anyways I beat Tales of  Zestiria for the eighth time today. 

Because they sent me a message to welcome me into the fandom I dedicate this to @looveel-realm (looks a little different than the sketch did at first huh? lol!

Anyways thanks fir being awesome and sending me those messages I’m glad to be contributing to the fandom!

8

Blair: I hope never giving up on people isn’t going to be my downfall.

Chuck: That’s why you’re going to be an amazing mother. You’re always there for the people you love. Even when they don’t deserve it.

Blair: You know that’s never going to change. 

-Favorite Scene 5x06 Part 6: I am Number Nine

Lovely Thing Number Thirty Nine:

When it is apparently necessary for, like, at least 80% of all fanfiction to be some variant of porn. Not just romance, just straight up pornographic.

Oh, this one’s nice. They’re just being a cute couple and there’s still an actual plot going on, uninterrupted. It’s really pleasant when-oh never mind. Dang. Uhhhhh. Okay. Ugh, this is getting boring. Really, this is taking up most of the chapter? What happened to the plot? Where did it go? Okay, I’m dying of boredom, so I’m skipping a paragraph. And the next one. And the next one. And the next-oh come on, I may be a virgin, but I know people don’t orgasm at the same time! Who’re you fooling? Not me.