lovely lady

Emma, everyone’s afraid of something.“ Julian moved slightly closer; she felt his shoulder bump hers. “We fear things because we value them. We fear losing people because we love them. We fear dying because we value being alive. Don’t wish you didn’t fear anything. All that would mean is that you didn’t feel anything.
—  Lord of Shadows
Alana Finds Out: Discipline

In honour of #ladiesofhannibal week (and also of my one-year anniversary on tumblr a couple of weeks ago) I thought I would post some of the chapters from my long-running Alana Finds Out series that I’ve never put on tumblr before. The overarching theme is Alana figuring out she’d be much better off if she just washed that Hannigram right out of her hair, so it seems appropriate xD.

Also on AO3.


Alana hummed softly as she exited her car and climbed the stairs to Hannibal’s office. It was going to be a good night: she was having dinner with Hannibal at her favourite restaurant; she had managed to extricate herself from work forty-five minutes early; and that meant there was time for a quickie in Hannibal’s office before they went out. Assuming he would go for that – he might want to preserve the sanctity of his office, he could be irritatingly proper about such things.

She shrugged as she passed through the waiting room. It’ll be a great night, anyway. You just might have to exercise a little patience there, Bloom. Not easy, when your boyfriend looks like a damn Viking but she could keep it together. She was a grown woman.

Which did not stop her squeaking like a little girl at the sight that greeted her when she opened the door to Hannibal’s office. Her boyfriend – her buttoned-up, mannerly, very refined boyfriend – was on his knees on his office floor, completely naked and very erect. Completely naked, save for a pair of silver nipple clamps and what appeared to be a leather dog collar round his neck. Completely naked and currently giving a blow job to an equally naked and clearly blissed out Will Graham, who held a riding crop in one hand and Hannibal’s hair in the other.

This was going to take a minute to process.

A minute, incidentally, in which Will had what was clearly an earth-shattering orgasm, moaning Hannibal’s name as he finished. Hannibal who, Alana noted, swallowed with every sign of enjoyment and then gazed up at Will with an adoring expression Alana had never been privilege to.

“Fuck, that was amazing,” Will sighed, leaning down for a kiss.

At this point, Alana felt it was time to interject.

“Ahem.”

The two men froze, lips still pressed together. They stayed like that for a moment, then jumped apart, guilty expressions forming.

“Alana, you’re early,” Hannibal began weakly.

She held up a hand to silence him. “No speaking. No speaking from either of you just yet.” She placed a hand over her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Then she turned to Will. “I thought you hated him.” He had the grace not to attempt an explanation.

Alana looked back to Hannibal, still on his knees and oh, just fuck him still hard. “He accused you of being a serial killer. He tried to have you killed.”

Hannibal looked at her, an odd mix of tenderness and – she couldn’t believe this – pity on his face and said, meekly, “Love makes fools of us all.”

“Love?” spat Alana.

“Love?” asked Will.

“Yes, Will,” Hannibal regained his adoring expression. “Love.”

“Me too.” Will reached out a hand to him.

“Oh, good grief,” Alana exploded. They turned, clearly having forgotten her existence. “Ok, look, I’m very likely never going to speak to either of you ever again, so just to assuage my conscience, this is consensual?”

They nodded. “Very,” Hannibal added.

Alana groaned. “Just yes or no answers, please. Will, are you going to try to kill him again, including via proxy?”

“No.” Hannibal looked like Will had just hung the moon for him.

Alana sighed. “Ok, and the last entry in this round of Things You Should Never Have to Ask Your Cheating Scumbag of a Boyfriend, do you have a safeword?”

They giggled – actually sodding giggled like a pair of fourteen-year-old girls – and Hannibal squeaked out, “Chilton.”

“Seriously.”

Will pulled himself together enough to shrug and explain, “Guaranteed to kill the mood.” Then they were off again, clutching each other for support.

“Oh god.” Alana rolled her eyes and fled. Definitely better off out of that Bloom. Those two idiots deserve each other.

psa that i love @scarfblogs so much and she’s literally a perfect human with so much love and kindness and hilarity inside her and i want to give her infinite hugs and hear her sing to me forever and watch her sandwich making snaps until i die and drown in her beautiful writing and just ! ! Love! 1!! 1 Her !!!!!

also psa that i love @bishoujohiyo more than my life and she’s so brilliant and badass and saving lives and making the world a better place while still always making us laugh and smile and feel loved and wow my life is so much more beautiful because maddie is in it bless her soul.

2

badass ladies’ social media: (supercorp)kara and lena