lovely bedrooms

I need you

John Shelby x Reader

Request: Can you do 42 and 50 for John

Warning: SUPER SAD!!!!! Trigger warning for those who are sensitive to any type of mental illness eg depression, miscarriage, swearing

Author’s note: This was if you were John’s first wife and hadn’t had any children.

You wiped away your tears quickly, hearing John come through the door. You were sat on the couch wrapped in a throw from your bedroom.

“Hello love,” John said leaning down kissing your cheek. You didn’t move. Ever since you lost the baby, you felt numb. You didn’t just feel sad, you felt lost. Like you were slipping further into this hole in the ground further and further away from your old self, with no way of getting out.

“So what do you want for dinner then?” John tried again to get you to speak, but you shook your head. You had no appetite barely eating anything for a couple weeks now. You had lost a lot of weight, hadn’t slept very well and had barely left the house.

“Come on (Y/N), you need to eat.” You didn’t say anything, just kept staring at the wall. That’s all you could look at. Looking at John would break you. John was almost as broken as you were, his first born taken away from him. But looking at you shattered his heart every time.

“Nothing huh?” He asked again. When you said nothing he flipped, throwing the table, smashing the vase that was sitting in the middle of the table. You flinched at the sound and his sudden outburst of rage. “Fuck this! You know this is hard for me too!” He roared before grabbing his coat and slamming the door behind him.

“I don’t know what to do Pol, She doesn’t sleep or eat. I see a tired drained (Y/N), but she isn’t really in there.” John was exhausted he came to his Aunt Pol’s asking for help as he fought back the tears.

“Go hold her, tell her you love her and everything will be OK. You can’t do much else right now except letting her know it will get better and that you’re there. She’s grieving.”

“That’s the thing Pol, It doesn’t seem like she’s just grieving.” Pol looked at her nephew, she could see how shattered he was, Physically and emotionally. She gave John a hug and he crumbled as if he was a little boy. “I just… I just can’t believe there’s no more baby.” John needed to grieve too but he was acting as strong as he could to fool everyone into believing he was ok.

Your hands were shaking as you took all the pills and medicines out of the cupboard slowly lining them up along the sink. You were crying non stop. You couldn’t breathe. This was how you felt since you lost the little one, You couldn’t imagine a way out of this. Why could you not picture a day when you felt like this? You breathed heavy looking into the mirror, the person looking back at you wasn’t you. Big bags under your eyes, hair sparsely sticking up all over your head, your cheeks hollow. This wasn’t you. You weren’t you. You slowly paced through to the kitchen to get a class and quickly fill it up with water before taking it back to the bathroom with you. You picked up the first pill, placing it in your mouth and taking a swig of water to flush it down. Your hand was shaking as you tried to keep the water in the glass. You picked up the second pill and that’s when you heard the front door open.

“(Y/N)?” You heard John call from your kitchen. You started to scramble up the pills so you could hide them from John but your hands were shaking so much they landed all over the floor. You screamed as every pill collided on the floor, collapsing on your hands and knees on the ground sobbing. “(Y/N) what the fuck…” John was standing in the bathroom doorway his voice wobbled as he whispered to you. “How much have you taken?” You were crying so hard you could barely speak or think. Crying so hard you couldn’t see John crying too. You managed to hold up one finger to him before letting your head collapse in your hands.

“I can’t do this!” You screamed, your voice echoed through the whole house. You grabbed the side of the bathtub and started throwing your head against the side of it with some force. John quickly dropped down beside you pulling you into him. At first, you tried to fight him punching against his chest and screaming but after a couple of seconds, you fell completely into him. Sobbing into his chest as he pulled you closer into him hiding his face in your hair.

“I can’t lose you (Y/N), I can’t lose both of you.” He was sobbing almost as hard as you were now. You sat there with him for a couple minutes before your breathing started to return to normal and your crying wasn’t as persistent. He pulled you back assessing the injury on your head and wiping your hair out of your face.

“Please… I need you, just let me help you. I grew up and learned to be independent I’ve not needed anyone since I was a boy, but I need you, I can’t do any of this without you.” In that moment you hadn’t realised that you hadn’t thought about John. You hadn’t thought about how he’d live here alone without his wife or baby. You stroked his face with both hands, placing his hands under his jaw so he was looking at you.

“I love you, I need you. I am so so so sorry John,” you managed to get that out before sobbing again. He pulled you into a tight embrace before helping you to your feet and practically carrying you to the bed. Once he helped you in he went back to the bathroom to clean up the mess, you could hear him quietly sniffling trying to keep calm. This broke your heart. When he got back to the bed he climbed in next to you and you pulled yourself close to him hugging him tightly. You hadn’t done this in a while, you had barely touched each other since getting back from the doctors that day.

“I promise you (Y/N), everything will be ok.” You smiled at him nodding as he placed a light kiss on your forehead as you nuzzled into his shoulder and drifted to sleep. The first full night sleep you had in awhile.

Help with spirits

@death-witch-envy Ok here’s the thing.
There’s at least one spirit in my house, the one we know about is a little kid and he has been here for a really long time (my cousin knows the family who lived in my house before us, and they felt and saw him too), my mom has seen this kid, but not his face. Other people has seen this kid before, and they told me (and I didn’t tell them about him before). I never saw this kid, but felt other things like steps in the corridor, the feeling that someone is watching me and it makes me VERY uncomfortable, weird noises and I once saw a photograph being thrown in front of me when I was alone. The only place where I feel comfortable when I’m alone is my bedroom, and I noticed that my cats love coming to my bedroom, especially the oldest one, I don’t know if this has something to do with it.
Everyone in my family knows about the kid, in fact, many of them have seen shadows, heard steps and doors being knocked (I also know that there’s something powerful with energies/spirits in my family, like it’s hereditary).

One of my cousins told me he was in a room with the door closed and felt ‘’weight’’ on the bed, something very similar to a cat jumping on the bed, but he was alone. And now my sister told me some things that she never told anyone before. When she was little, like 4-5 years old (she’s 14 now), she had many imaginary friends, most of them were nice to her, but there was one that was very mean and creepy. She told us that he was bad and he liked to do mischievous things, but now she told me that he had eyes that glowed in the dark and that he used to pull her feet at night. She said ‘’I never told anyone before because he said that it was a secret and it was a game’’. She also told me that one night, not so long ago, she was sleeping in a room with one of my cousins, and around 5 in the morning she heard someone tapping the window. The last thing that happened to her was seeing shadows walking from one room to another in the middle of the night. These are only a few things that have happened, because there are more.

My mother used to pray a lot for the little kid (I think she still does, she puts candles and stuff), when she did this he used to disappear for some time. About 2 years ago my mother removed the closet in her room to build a new one, and she found a cross made with twigs and a red ribbon under it. I don’t know exactly how it was because I wasn’t at home when this happened. With a little research I found out they were used for protection. We think that maybe the kid was attached to it… but we don’t know anything for sure. Maybe it was made by the family that lived here before us because they were scared, who knows.
I thought that the spirits ‘’went away’’ for some time now, but now that my sister and my cousin told me what happened to them here (also my brother and another cousin that says she feels being watched), I don’t know what to do. I want to clean the house or something, because these spirits are scaring everyone including me, I don’t feel comfortable being alone in my own house, but I don’t want to make them more angry or something. I’m a beginner witch and I don’t want to fuck things up.