It wasn’t easy by any means. We’ve both known this was coming for a long time.
But neither of us wanted to admit that to ourselves.
We talked on the phone for 45 minutes. I cried almost the entire time.
We both recognized that distance made things really hard, and we had a lot of issues that the distance made it really hard to work on. On top of that, we’re both in school fulltime. We live ten hours apart, seeing each other was nearly impossible. Over the past month, I’ve come to realize that my life has to 100% in Greenville. I can’t pour myself into the life that God has called me too here if my heart is in Minnesota.
We decided that we don’t want to be one of those couples who break up and try to stay friends, but jump into rebound relationships, and things get awkward, and they end up hating each other or never speaking again. I so desperately don’t want that to happen. We decided, that to the best of our abilities, we will not let that happen. And for the first time ever, I think that will actually happen. We have so many mutual friends. Heck, we were good friends ourselves before we dated. I don’t want to lose his friendship, or make our friends feel like they have to choose between. Sure, things will probably never be the way they were before, but I think I’m okay with that.
Anyways, I don’t want this to be a pity post. Rather, I’d like it to reveal God’s faithfulness.
Ultimately, I’m just trusting that God is carrying the both of us in his very capable hands and He knows what He’s doing. So even though this hurts a lot and it’s really tough, I’m okay. I’ve learned that you have to actively trust God and delight yourself in Him DESPITE your circumstances. I feel a great amount of peace about our decision. Even though the weight in my chest is still pretty heavy, the weight on my shoulders has finally lifted.
As I was going to bed last night…or this morning rather, Ella said to me, “Katie, you’re great.” I said, “Why am I great.” “Because you’re resilient.” Ella called me resilient. As lame as that may sound, it felt incredible to me. Because I realize that I am resilient. I just went through the hardest breakup of my life and I’m okay. I’m a bit of a mess, but that’s okay cause I’m OKAY. Honestly though, I’m not the resilient one…God is. My resilience is because of him. It has nothing to do with how strong or tenacious I may be. If this had happened to me four years ago, I’d probably be plotting my suicide or cutting my skin behind a locked door. I wouldn’t be okay. I owe where I am today to God. HE’S gotten me this far. HE’S carried me through all the crap in my life and allowed me to be stronger because of it.
So, I guess I’ll just end this by saying this. Guys, God is so so so good. I mean that more than I’ve ever meant anything in my entire life. Learn to trust Him in an active sense rather than a passive one. Learn what it means to delight yourself in Him and his promises despite your circumstances. I can only make you one promise in life, and that’s that God will NEVER fail you. He won’t forsake you or abandon you. Never. And that’s the only reason I know that no matter what happens in my life, I will be okay.
you should have tattoos. You like to express yourself as artistically as possible, but you are not high-maintenance. Therefore, expressing yourself through make-up or accessories seems tedious. And that is why you should have tattoos. You wake up in the morning and there they are, constantly conveying who you are no matter the state of your dress or mind.
Guys, please go like this page on Facebook, tag them in a status, or share their give away photo and be entered to win a free shirt and a Red Thread Movement bracelet. Scotty’s clothing line is super groovy and I am so excited about his new designs coming out. He works so hard and I want to see his clothing line and vision suceed.
Give this a reblog if you like what you see! You all are great. :)
You are a brilliant piece of art, an artist yourself. You are whoever you want to be, whoever God meant you to be. No one can hold you down from the dream that He has placed in your heart. No one can stop you from being the marvelous creation that your Savior intended you to be. He created you with mighty plans, you are His hand painted masterpiece. And you will go on to create masterpieces. Masterpieces worthy of the Lords affection. You will be, you are, His pride and joy. You are His favorite, we are all His favorite, and you will shout His glory from the mountaintops. You will design great works of art for your Savior, and He will treasure you above the rest. In His hand, you will soar, you will be as a glorious shining beacon of light to the nations. And you will stumble, and fall on your face. Yet still, the Father will accept you, still the Lord will adore you before all others. You will mock Him, you will betray Him, you will kill Him. And He will still desire to embrace you in care and understanding. You will anger Him and become an object of His wrath. Still He will be madly in love with you, as though there were no other. In your life you will face a great many struggles, never lose sight of the great artwork the Lord Jesus has made of your precious life.
Katie just left. I am a little bit of a natural disaster right now. I am a drizzle with hail and thunder rolling softly in the distance. She was my rope bridge and ginger lemon tea in my favorite mug. I had forgot what life looks like without her, what it looks like to not do life every day with one of your closest friends.