I worked at a craft store the summer before college. Here are my best (and the best of the worst) moments:
- A man bought 190 mason jars with lids. I asked him if this was for a wedding, or if he was making jam. He was doing neither. He did not have plans for mason jars. He just thought they were a really good sale.
- A woman bought her brother and his fiance a giant rainbow bow for their wedding present. She whispered that they had been married before, but that the fiance had dressed as a woman and they wanted to make it real now that it was legal. She shouted that rainbows are gay. Her style is unusual.
- A little girl left finger-painted handprints on the inside of the back pockets of the pants I was wearing. It was the most terrible case of “mistaken mother” I have ever experienced.
- A little girl came in looking for SWAPS for Girl Scout camp (pins you trade with other scouts at camp). She asked me if I could help her even though I am too old to be a Girl Scout. I showed her my lifetime membership card and the SWAPS on my keyring. She told me I am her best friend, and came back two weeks later with a SWAP she had saved for me from camp.
- A woman came through with wedding supplies for her granddaughter and a very nervous outlook on the price. I asked her what my name was, pretending to forget about my nametag, and when she got it right, pronounced her my good friend and gave her my friends-and-family discount. She cried. I might have too.
- A father bought his little boy a doll set. The boy told me that the last set had been for his friend, but he had liked it much more than she did, so he was getting his own. His baby sister was chewing on a monster truck. I liked this family.
- I became known as the cashier who would give you the discounts under my register if you were nice. The little old ladies who came in every yarn sale loved me. My coupons and I were their heroes.
- The substitute teacher who had bullied me came through my line and smugly told me that her total was wrong. I smiled politely and informed her that I had already given her the educator’s discount, but would happily take it off. She was much less smug after that, as her daughter laughed her out of the store.
- A large woman with a 5 o'clock shadow came through my line. I told her I liked her skirt. She responded with the biggest smile I have ever seen.
- And finally, my favorite one: a nine-year-old girl came up to my register with a stack of t-shirts and told me she had folded them for me, but could not reach where they belonged. I told her most people would have left them on the floor. She informed me that I was the cashier who helped her Girl Scout troop mate, and I quote: "dang it, you do good things for good people! I want to be a good people like you!“ and skipped out the door, before remembering her mother was still shopping and skipping right back in.
pristinepastel said: Hey, i know you like the first mummy, but what about the mummy returns?
I HAVE RETURNED…after like a day.
but what the people want, the people get!
RIGHT SO THE MUMMY RETURNS!
aka the only sequel that is 1000% just as good as the first one. like holy shit.
ten years later and we meet our heroes again. rick and evie are happily married, going on adventures, and evie’s dream of becoming a respected scholar has come true and they’ve made a tiny human!
the only unrealistic part being that they only had one kid, i mean they are still all over each other ten years later and you’re telling me they only had ONE kid.
okay. sure jan.
but boy o’ boy is that one kid awesome!
alex o’connell. this kid is literally:
50% evie super-klutz-genius.
50% rick screams-at-things-that-are-illogical-to-scream-at.
50% uncle jonathan’s sheer dumb luck and wit.
10% i’m really bad at math.
you get the point. HE’S GREAT. also the actor passed on harry potter because, JUST LIKE ME, the mummy 1999 was his favorite movie and he just HAD to be in the sequel. alex is just such a smart-ass little shit. that much like his mother, accidentally brings about the apocalypse by opening something he shouldn’t have:
ARDETH BAY TIME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. he has a much bigger role in this one. GOD BLESS.(because he was supposed to die in the first one, but test audiences loved him as much as we do, so they kept his fine ass around) he still looks prettier than everyone and is still so done with white people once again.
*after almost being killed on he bus* “this was my first bus ride.” *after realizing they’re gonna make him fly again* “why can’t you people ever keep your feet on the ground?”
he’s just such an awesome A+ friend goals, because while he probably needs to go be with other medjai to prepare for battle against anubis’ army (yikes), he stays with the fam to rescue alex. it wasn’t even much of a thought for him really, rick and evie just batted their eyelashes and he was like: *sighs* “these white people are always messing my shit up, but they are my white people.”
jonathan: still beautifully the same as ever. witty, clever, and would do anything for his family.
“be quiet alex! if there’s going to be any hysterics, they’ll come from me!”
“if you see anyone come running out screaming, it’s just me.”
when he boasts about being a good shot and ardeth is internally like “i’m gonna die.” THEN HE SAVES ARDETH. hell yeah.
rick: he’s still screaming at things. BUT IN DAD MODE. he’s the ultimate dad.
“you, lighten up. you, big trouble. you, get in the car.” *sweetly* “honey, what are you doing, these guys don’t use doors.” “knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you’re about to do to him, but this is my house and i have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.”
evie: still a super-klutz nerd, but with C O N F I D E N C E. little baby librarian is now a honey badger of ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK! and also a re-incarnated princess
“no harm ever came from opening a chest.”
rick: “i swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.” evelyn: “you mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?”
we meet izzy, another one of rick’s ex boyfriends, who is a much more reliable mode of transportation than previously mentioned murder buses.
imhotep: still emo. still wants to make out with his gf.
anck su namun/meela: hella good villain. she bomb af and 100% wants to take over the world. amazing. she actually has like a really cool role this time too!!! like so much screen time.
the rock…i mean the scorpion king, he’s another emo villain with goofy cgi rendering and like 4 million terrible made-for-TV spin off movies that you are lying if you haven’t watched at least one of them and felt that utter disappointment. but who cares the rock is pretty. and this was his first acting role and the reason we have him where he is today.
thank you mummy returns for giving the world actor rock johnson #blessed
THE ROMANCE AGAIN:
normal action movie sequel romance: same guy. different girl. repeat of first movie’s romance. hehehehhehehehhEHEHEHEHHEHH.
not here bitch.
rick and evie’s love has only grown stronger. they still bicker like old ladies at bingo night. the still look at each other like they hung the moon. they’re still disgusting jonathan because they CANNOT KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES. one kid my ass. they still support each other and protect each other like crazy. they love each other so much and it’s so healthy and pure and there is some good in this world mr. frodo.
the bottom line here is. what’s the point of watching the mummy 1999 if you aren’t going to watch the mummy returns immediately after?
↳get to know me:favorite female characters → the ghibli girls “Many of my movies have strong female leads – brave, self-sufficient girls that don’t think twice about fighting for what they believe in with all their heart. They’ll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a savior. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.”(– Hayao Miyazaki)
I’d fallen in love with her in My Fair Lady on Broadway, so I’d had a crush for forever, working with her like being hit over the head with a big Valentine’s Day card every day but when we did meet on The Sound of Music she had just had a child, so I had to stay arm’s length—what am I talking about?—full length away from her, but it was sort of like an awful tease. I couln’t do anything. (x)
We should have ended up together… We should have had a huge smashing affair. But there was no time because she had her children with her, which was most inconvenient, I thought. (x)
“You look really pretty today.” The young prospect blushed, an armful of empty beer bottles for disposal cradled in his arms. The guys were really making him work for his patch. It was sort of comical.
“Thank you.” You replied, twisting back and forth in the bar stool you were seated on. The goofy grin on the prospects face fell quickly, and you knew that meant that Jax had found you. Sure enough, the blonde’s hand came to rest on the small of your back as he glared at the prospect.
“Beat it.” Jax growled. Slowly the prospect nodded, down casting his eyes as he turned to throw out the beer bottles he had collected. Jax’s lips found their way to your neck as both of his arms wrapped securely around your waist. “I hate that prospect.”
“You only hate him cause he flirts with me.” You teased.