love-yourself-and-others

Things you do not have to do over the holidays:

-hide who you are

-explain yourself

-convince others that your identity is valid

-conform to familial expectations


Things you should do over the holidays:

-love yourself

-love others while loving yourself

-love food while loving yourself

-pet a cat

7

@harnaamkaur and I are tired of your shitty gender roles. We shot this series for @theparallelmag to challenge what people are “allowed to do.” She has a beard due to a medical condition. She loves it and kills it! As for me, I just want to wear a skirt sometimes cuz I think it can look dope! The fact we socially relegate these fashion and styling attributes to certain genders just seems so frivolous and dangerous when you consider how aggressive people get when their confronted with these things that don’t fit into their understanding of how the world works. At the end of the day, just be yourself and love yourself and don’t judge others who are living that way. Think outside the parameters that we are lead to believe are absolute and see the world as it is! Much love to all of you!
📷: @sophieephotos
💄: @kateoffthewall
👔: @roxannechanelmurray

20 things I learned at 20

1. You can have only one best friend and that best friend can only be you. Because you may come across a dozen lovely people but the only one who can keep the ‘forever’ promise is you.

2. Family is the most important. This is the only love that is truly unconditional and absolutely pure. They love you when you’re 5 and when you’re 18. They love you in your failure and your success. Their love doesn’t increase because it’s already at its maximum right from the beginning, it’s already infinite.

3. Cocktails and aerated drinks may soothe your taste buds but tea soothes your entire body. It’s warm and calming and well, healthy.

4. Your first kiss means nothing if it’s not with the right person. And the right person doesn’t mean your soulmate or someone who will never break your heart but someone who in that moment loves you as much as you love them.

5. You’ve written over 350 exams and you’ve got a perfect score in some and scored miserably in others but do you remember your 9th grade math score? Do you even remember 9th grade math? Education is so important but not the stress and competitive grading that comes along with it. If you get a low score or even fail, not much will happen – you will get a retest. But if you get ill – mentally or physically, it will have undesired long term effects.

6. In 8th grade your school psychologist told you that you’re one of the few people who walk in life with open arms loving and helping everyone, not because you haven’t bled but because you know you will heal and have the strength to do so. At that point you laughed at her but now, years later you’re loving, accepting and helping in spite of having both, actual and metaphorical scars.
You’re kind and admitting that doesn’t make you conceited.

7. Goodbyes don’t always have to be dramatic. Writing an 800 words message won’t make it hurt any less than an 8 words one. Closure usually has not much to do with the ones who wronged you but with taking your time in dealing with all the stages of grief. Some stage like anger may take only a month but acceptance may take years and that’s okay.

8. Jealousy is a basic human trait. They can be the closest to you and yet envy your happiness and life. Envy is something you too experience and you can be happy for them and be sad for yourself at the same time because so bitter it is to view happiness from someone else’s eyes. You aren’t a horrible human being if you feel like there are better shades of green your grass could be.

9. Read at your own desire and pace.
You don’t have to read particular books to qualify as a bibliophile or read a specific number of books to be a bookworm either. Read what truly interests you and take your time because reading was never a task, don’t make it one now.

10. Money is important. Money can’t buy love but it can buy happiness. But not blood money. Money honestly earned through hard work. That kind of money is good, that kind of money is required. You have a certain standard of living and if you want to maintain that after your parents stop financing you, you must make sure to earn the same. It doesn’t make you a snob or a spoiled brat, it only makes you a human aware of your wants, many of which have turned into needs by now.

11. There are somethings you just never grow out of like bubbles and glitter and your mother’s hot chocolate and hugs. Those are the kind of things that make life bearable when adulting gets too hard. Those are the little things that matter the most.

12. You cry. A lot.
But you don’t cry in front of people for their pity. You don’t cry to manipulate situations. You cry because you accept the pain. You cry because you don’t reject or lock away your emotions. You cry because your mental, emotional and physical self are in sync and that’s healthy. That’s so lovely.

13. Bake cakes. They don’t have to look pretty as long as they taste delicious. Paint canvases. They don’t have to be a master piece as long as all the paint in your hands and face and jeans makes you feel complete. Write more. It doesn’t have to a novel or even be posted online as long as it lets you breathe a little lighter and smile wider.

14. Go for walks alone, sit on the beach without your headphones, look up at the sky without a lover, buy flowers for yourself. Nature is legit free (for the most part). And it’s the richest thing that the world has. Le it bring you peace, let it help you survive.

15. Make home feel home. Sometimes you won’t have your family to make it home. Sometimes you will have to make it home by putting a part of yourself and that means investing the time, energy and money in making it feel yours, in making it feel right. It may not be your ‘dream house’, it may just be a tiny room but it’s yours. Your surroundings play a major role in affecting your mood and vibe.

16. Energy is real.
You may not know much about Science beyond 10th grade but you do know this, e=mc ² which means everything is energy, you are energy and there is positive and negative energy and you can feel it and you experience it in every person you meet, every place you visit, every room you step inside. You can and you must choose to surround yourself with positive energy. What you attract, you do get; what you attract you become.

17. Spend time with yourself. It’s some of the best time you will have. You need to unwind, you need it to re-energize, you need it to focus and you need it for peace. You can go to a cafe by yourself, write, read, meditate, talk to yourself out loud, dance in your underwear, cook and just be.


18. Take care of yourself- no one else can, no one else will. Drink loads of water, there’s a reason why more than half your body is made up of water. Sleep well because staying up all night isn’t something to be proud of, it’s stupid. Don’t skip breakfast because skipping breakfast makes you crave fatty foods for the rest of the day. Stay healthy not because you want to look a certain way but because you want to feel strong and energetic and have an active mind, body and heart. Staying healthy emotionally and mentally is just as important. So let those who want to go, go and never say yes to something your gut wants to scream ‘NO’ to.

19. Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself you will look for other people to love you. If you don’t accept yourself, you will keep seeking other people’s validation and the moment they withdraw it or walk away, you will crumble. And you don’t want to crumble. You want to enjoy the one person’s company you have to live with forever – yourself. Work on being a person you’d love to spend your life with because let’s face it, you don’t have a choice. It’s a long term investment and the only one that will never fail you.

20. In Shakespeare’s words, “To thine own self be true”. In order to love yourself, knowing yourself is very important. And knowing yourself doesn’t mean the adjectives that people use for you or what your zodiac sign says about you. It means what you know in your heart to be your truth.

One more for good luck?

21. You laughed and thought it was very witty when you came across the quote, ‘Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.’
but god. Can it be any truer? Most things you’re stressing over now won’t even matter 3 years from now. But good days will turn into heart-warming memories that will stay with you even 2 decades later.
Happiness and success are two different things but remember, they aren’t mutually exclusive. At least they don’t have to be.

—  creatingnikki 
170918 BTS ‘LOVE YOURSELF: Her’ Press Conference - Compilation

- Rap Monster: “LOVE YOURSELF: Her is a series following after ‘Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa’ and ‘WINGS’. This album takes the role of ‘seung’ in ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’ and features 11 songs.” (TV Report) (seung: explanation, gi seung jeon gyeol: introduction - explanation - twist - conclusion)

- Rap Monster: “I think this album will become one of our turning points.” (TV Report)

- Jin: “Please love our song ‘DNA’ that contains our DNA.” (Mydaily)

- Suga: “I was greatly surprised when I heard the news about the number of pre-orders. It was 700,000 for the last album and we were very grateful to our fans and everyone who listened to our album then too. This time we thought we shall grow a little greedier and it would possibly reach 800,000 orders, we were greatly surprised seeing the news. I’m grateful that this many people love us. I think the pre-orders represent the trust and love for our music, I’m really grateful.” (Herald Pop)

- Rap Monster: “‘DNA’ contains our message of reconciliation and unite that we want to throw at the society.” (Mydaily)

- [About the meaning of ‘harmony’] Rap Monster: “I think love is an ability. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love others. I often hear people saying that love is an illusional and vague thing these days. I thought about the method of loving. The time we spend looking into ourselves is getting lesser ad lesser because of smart phones and news media. I consider loving oneself to be the answer to many things. We don’t have the confidence to love ourselves completely, but we want to try and think about that answer. Starting from loving ourselves. That’s how it started. Although we haven’t been able to find that answer yet, we hope we can as we go along with the ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’ series.” (Mydaily, Joynews24)

- [About the whistle sound] Rap Monster: “I and Jungkook did the whistling together but I don’t know which one they used.” (News Inside)

- [About new goals] Suga: “Whenever we receive this question, we always said that our goal is to enter the Billboard Hot 100 chart. The Hot 100 chart actually requires having many albums sold, having songs streamed a lot and another important thing is radio play. This is not easy at all. We are holding expectation whether it will come true this time, but luckily US radio stations are giving us a lot of attention and select our songs often, so we’re carefully placing hope this time. Our album is being sold in the US this time and so many people are showing expectation and attention for us so we want to enter the Billboard Hot 100 chart this time.” (Newsen)

- Jimin: “I really want us to top the digital music chart when the digital album is released. I hope many people will love all of our songs this time as well as give BTS who always attempt new things a lot of love.” (Newsen)

- ‘DNA’ is a song of an uncommonly seen music structure in K-pop, featuring the foreign trendy EDM pop genre and bold use of beat drop. The song contains the message ‘we are entwined by fate from the beginning, we are one from the DNA’. (Newsen)

- Suga: “BTS members and the company staff often hold meetings together. The album concepts are from our thoughts and the producers’ thoughts merged together. When we first debuted, we each were busy making our own music, but now we combine BTS’ thoughts and the company’s ones and come up with the concepts.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- Rap Monster: “I often have meetings and hang out with the company staff. I talk with the producers, including Bang Shihyuk PD. The company keeps an eye on what we think.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- Rap Monster: “I always want to give good influence socially. Whenever I see people who like us, I feel a sense of responsibility. It can be become their inspiration or be left as good impression to them, but I think even mere appreciation like enjoying listening to our music or feeling our dance to be cool can also give good influence. I’m feeling the responsibility to keep offering good influence.” (Newsen)

- Suga: “Music is an extraordinary act that can moves someone. I hope the world will eventually become a world where many people are happy.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- [About ‘GO Rather Than Worrying’] Suga: “These days the young generation uses words like ‘YOLO’ and ‘spendthrift’, and I can’t understand why they use those words that much. We interpreted it from the perspective of BTS (in the song), I hope you would think about why the young generation uses ‘YOLO’ and ‘spendthrift’ while listening.” (Mydaily)

- [About ‘DNA’ music video] Suga: “We emphasized on the fancy impression to portray the feeling of falling in love. I was amazed every time I see the music video filming set, because it was so beautiful. I feel good since the result will come out great.” (Sports Joseon)

- Jin: “‘Best Of Me’ is a great song to listen to with lyrical melodies. This song was mixed by a partner who works together with The Chainsmokers. I hope many people would listen to it.” (Sports Joseon)

- Rap Monster: “There’s a famous performance in which president Obama dropped his mic to wrap up the new year speech. It was one of the performances that hold the meaning ‘My speech was good, right?’. ‘MIC Drop’ is a track connected with it. It features a lot of our swag and ambitions and was inspired by president Obama’s speech.” (Seoul Kyungje)

- [About collaboration with Seo Taiji] V: “He gave us support and told us that it’s our era now. I can truly feel that it’s an honor to be able to perform together with such a legendary senior singer.” (Mydaily)

- Jin: “Seo Taiji-sunbaenim told me that I can call him ‘father’. I was grateful that he used the word ‘Seo Taiji and Sons’.” (Mydaily)

- Suga: “I call him ‘hyungnim’. He’s way younger than my father.” (Mydaily)

- [About why the start of the series is ‘seung’ (explanation) and not ‘gi’ (introduction)] Suga: “When we consider the process of falling in love as ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’, I think the stage where we are the most immersed in love would be ‘seung’, so the album started as ‘seung’. There will come a moment when you understand why ‘seung’ comes out now if you follow our album sequence in the future.” (Mydaily)

- Rap Monster: “I think a lot about where our goal should be. When we first debuted, I couldn’t even think of working together with The Chainsmokers. Performing at the Gymnastics Stadium was our goal before debut, but now all kinds of unimaginable proposals are coming from inside and outside of our company. I’m curious about how far we can go. Our abstract goal is to climb up to the top and leave a milestone in the history like how PSY-sunbaenim did.” (Mydaily, Joynews24)

- Suga: “We followed the path of the senior singers and now we too need to build that path and advance further. I hope we can build better paths with better sides of us.” (Joynews24)

- BTS: “Although figures are important, we want to show good music and good performance.” (Joynews24)

Reassurance for the Signs

Aries: You aren’t too excited for actually showing your emotions when you feel them. You’re strong for being able to express them the way you do.

Taurus: You aren’t boring for not wanting to take risks. It’s perfectly fine to want to understand what’s happening next, to know before making decisions that may have negative consequences. Not only that, but sticking to an opinion doesn’t make you irrational- it proves that you stand for what you believe in.

Gemini: You aren’t bothering people when you talk about what makes you happy. Your smile is gorgeous and what you have to say is fascinating.

Cancer: It’s okay to sometimes be upset. It’s okay to have bad days; days where you don’t want to be creative or optimistic. You don’t have to be happy and smiling and laughing all the time- it simply isn’t possible.

Leo: You aren’t a jerk for having the ability to love yourself or for wanting others to compliment you. We all deserve appreciation, but we all have insecurities and need reassurance from time to time. Some people just refuse to admit it.

Virgo: You aren’t a drag for wanting to point out mistakes. It’s okay to crave perfection, and it’s okay to want things to be just right. That’s normal.

Libra: You aren’t weak for avoiding conflict or wanting peace. Fighting isn’t always a good thing, and you understand that. You aren’t desperate or needy for wanting to be surrounded by friends, either.

Scorpio: There’s nothing wrong with having difficulty trusting people. There isn’t a problem with wanting to know others before letting them know you. Vulnerability can be terrifying- and you can see that.

Sagittarius: You’re not shallow just because you have difficulty staying in long relationships. You aren’t a bad person if your future plans don’t involve settling down with a partner or partners, and having a bunch of kids.

Capricorn: You aren’t a monster for not wanting to express emotions. It’s easier to deal with fact only, and to avoid emotions entirely. They can be difficult, and oftentimes the truth is easier to deal with.

Aquarius: You aren’t broken for not being able to understand everyone’s emotions. Feelings are confusing; not everyone can understand them perfectly, and there’s no magical way to figure them out.

Pisces: You’re not delusional for wanting to imagine better things instead of facing reality all the time. It’s okay. We all should take time to make ourselves feel good, even if that means being unrealistic.

If you love yourself, you love others. If you hate yourself, you hate others. Because in relationship with others … the other is nothing but a mirror.
—  Osho
20 things I learned at 20

1. You can have only one best friend and that best friend can only be you. Because you may come across a dozen lovely people but the only one who can keep the ‘forever’ promise is you.

2. Family is the most important. This is the only love that is truly unconditional and absolutely pure. They love you when you’re 5 and when you’re 18. They love you in your failure and your success. Their love doesn’t increase because it’s already at its maximum right from the beginning, it’s already infinite.

3. Cocktails and aerated drinks may soothe your taste buds but tea soothes your entire body. It’s warm and calming and well, healthy.

4. Your first kiss means nothing if it’s not with the right person. And the right person doesn’t mean your soulmate or someone who will never break your heart but someone who in that moment loves you as much as you love them.

5. You’ve written over 350 exams and you’ve got a perfect score in some and scored miserably in others but do you remember your 9th grade math score? Do you even remember 9th grade math? Education is so important but not the stress and competitive grading that comes along with it. If you get a low score or even fail, not much will happen – you will get a retest. But if you get ill – mentally or physically, it will have undesired long term effects.

6. In 8th grade your school psychologist told you that you’re one of the few people who walk in life with open arms loving and helping everyone, not because you haven’t bled but because you know you will heal and have the strength to do so. At that point you laughed at her but now, years later you’re loving, accepting and helping in spite of having both, actual and metaphorical scars.
You’re kind and admitting that doesn’t make you conceited.

7. Goodbyes don’t always have to be dramatic. Writing an 800 words message won’t make it hurt any less than an 8 words one. Closure usually has not much to do with the ones who wronged you but with taking your time in dealing with all the stages of grief. Some stage like anger may take only a month but acceptance may take years and that’s okay.

8. Jealousy is a basic human trait. They can be the closest to you and yet envy your happiness and life. Envy is something you too experience and you can be happy for them and be sad for yourself at the same time because so bitter it is to view happiness from someone else’s eyes. You aren’t a horrible human being if you feel like there are better shades of green your grass could be.

9. Read at your own desire and pace.
You don’t have to read particular books to qualify as a bibliophile or read a specific number of books to be a bookworm either. Read what truly interests you and take your time because reading was never a task, don’t make it one now.

10. Money is important. Money can’t buy love but it can buy happiness. But not blood money. Money honestly earned through hard work. That kind of money is good, that kind of money is required. You have a certain standard of living and if you want to maintain that after your parents stop financing you, you must make sure to earn the same. It doesn’t make you a snob or a spoiled brat, it only makes you a human aware of your wants, many of which have turned into needs by now.

11. There are somethings you just never grow out of like bubbles and glitter and your mother’s hot chocolate and hugs. Those are the kind of things that make life bearable when adulting gets too hard. Those are the little things that matter the most.

12. You cry. A lot.
But you don’t cry in front of people for their pity. You don’t cry to manipulate situations. You cry because you accept the pain. You cry because you don’t reject or lock away your emotions. You cry because your mental, emotional and physical self are in sync and that’s healthy. That’s so lovely.

13. Bake cakes. They don’t have to look pretty as long as they taste delicious. Paint canvases. They don’t have to be a master piece as long as all the paint in your hands and face and jeans makes you feel complete. Write more. It doesn’t have to a novel or even be posted online as long as it lets you breathe a little lighter and smile wider.

14. Go for walks alone, sit on the beach without your headphones, look up at the sky without a lover, buy flowers for yourself. Nature is legit free (for the most part). And it’s the richest thing that the world has. Le it bring you peace, let it help you survive.

15. Make home feel home. Sometimes you won’t have your family to make it home. Sometimes you will have to make it home by putting a part of yourself and that means investing the time, energy and money in making it feel yours, in making it feel right. It may not be your ‘dream house’, it may just be a tiny room but it’s yours. Your surroundings play a major role in affecting your mood and vibe.

16. Energy is real.
You may not know much about Science beyond 10th grade but you do know this, e=mc ²  which means everything is energy, you are energy and there is positive and negative energy and you can feel it and you experience it in every person you meet, every place you visit, every room you step inside. You can and you must choose to surround yourself with positive energy. What you attract, you do get; what you attract you become.

17. Spend time with yourself. It’s some of the best time you will have. You need to unwind, you need it to re-energize, you need it to focus and you need it for peace. You can go to a cafe by yourself, write, read, meditate, talk to yourself out loud, dance in your underwear, cook and just be.


18.  Take care of yourself- no one else can, no one else will. Drink loads of water, there’s a reason why more than half your body is made up of water. Sleep well because staying up all night isn’t something to be proud of, it’s stupid. Don’t skip breakfast because skipping breakfast makes you crave fatty foods for the rest of the day. Stay healthy not because you want to look a certain way but because you want to feel strong and energetic and have an active mind, body and heart. Staying healthy emotionally and mentally is just as important. So let those who want to go, go and never say yes to something your gut wants to scream ‘NO’ to.

19. Love yourself. If you don’t love yourself you will look for other people to love you. If you don’t accept yourself, you will keep seeking other people’s validation and the moment they withdraw it or walk away, you will crumble. And you don’t want to crumble. You want to enjoy the one person’s company you have to live with forever – yourself. Work on being a person you’d love to spend your life with because let’s face it, you don’t have a choice. It’s a long term investment and the only one that will never fail you.

20. In Shakespeare’s words, “To thine own self be true”. In order to love yourself, knowing yourself is very important.  And knowing yourself doesn’t mean the adjectives that people use for you or what your zodiac sign says about you. It means what you know in your heart to be your truth.

One more for good luck?

21. You laughed and thought it was very witty when you came across the quote, ‘Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.’
but god. Can it be any truer? Most things you’re stressing over now won’t even matter 3 years from now. But good days will turn into heart-warming memories that will stay with you even 2 decades later.
Happiness and success are two different things but remember, they aren’t mutually exclusive. At least they don’t have to be.