“December 14th at 11:02 pm
We met on this day, you took care of me because I was too drunk to take care of myself. You’d soon learn that I’m always like this.
December 18th at 3:00 pm
We went on a nature walk together, you told me my eyes were the trippiest things you’ve ever seen. You left soon after we fought.
December 19th at 10:07
I got drunk with the guy I lost my virginity to, I didn’t fuck him. I went home and called you 8 times, I don’t remember anything either of us said.
December 20th at 12:33 pm
You told me you had feelings for me, you came to see me at the coffe shop that night to hear bands play. I was drinking again. You dropped me off at midnight.
December 21st 10:46 pm
You brought someone you’ve fucked to a party, I got so jealous that I got drunk and had sex with another guy right upstairs. You didn’t like it at all.
December 24th 11:41 pm
You asked me why I have feelings for you, I didn’t know what to say. I told you that I love your humor and how open minded you are, but that doesn’t begin to explain why.
December 25th 12:01 am
You told me so much about yourself, I could never share it with anyone. Because of the conversation from that night, I still think you’re a good person, despite everything.
December 26th at 11:55 pm
I asked you to come over to my house, I really wanted to see you.
December 27th at 1:35 am
I went to see you, we had sex for the first time. Afterwards you asked me what the scars on my wrist are from, I couldn’t stop stuttering; I was a drunk, emotional mess. You pulled me closer into your chest and told me I was worth more than what I do to myself. I went to sleep with that on my mind.
December 27th at 10:14 pm
You came over, but I was drunk and high off of who knows what. I was feeling so sad that night, I sat in the back room reading books and writing poetry. You came and sat down with me while I broke down. We had sex again that night. You snore really loudly.
January 1st at 4:53 pm
This was the first time you’d talked to me since December 28th. I couldn’t understand it, if you felt the same way I did, like you said, you wouldn’t have been able to keep yourself from calling or texting. I told you you were a piece of shit, I meant it at the time.
January 3rd at 11:28 pm
I asked you if we could be fuck buddies, I couldn’t stand not seeing you, even though I was the one who told you to leave me alone. You said yes, I was hoping you wouldn’t. You make me so weak.
January 5th at 9:52 pm
I went to the hookah bar with my best friend, I saw you there. I didn’t know what to do. I ran out. Apparently you smiled at me, but I couldn’t handle seeing you.
January 6th at 5:32 pm
I haven’t spoken to you since then. You were being such an asshole.
January 24th at 5:09 pm
You passed me in your god-awful truck that we both hate. The void is back in my chest.
January 26th at 5:01 pm
I can’t stop thinking about the 33 freckles that litter your stomach. I love that hard spot on your chest, it’s like armor to protect you from fuck ups like me. I miss your soft skin, it’s almost as white as your teeth. I wish I could create art on your back again by scratching it. Do you miss me at all?
February 2nd at 12:56 am
You were at the same party as me, but I didn’t see you, I left at 11:57, thank god I did. I had just fucked the second guy since you, it didn’t feel right. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I saw you. I drunkenly messaged my best friend for advice, he told me that I was one of the most beautiful girls he’s ever seen and that you’re stupid not to see that. He told me I was “the sweetest fucking thing ever” and not to change for anyone. So fuck you, I’m over it.”