i’m just gonna be out there and say this. take it in any way you’d like to interpret it, but please at least read to the end, because i know this affects most people on here in some way.
when i was 11 years old i found tumblr.
it was especially fun for me because everything was new and fresh and i hadn’t seen anything like it and it was finally a place for me to hang out and talk about things i loved with other people who liked similar things.
i got totally, completely sucked in, and i’m just going to outright admit that i loved every little bit of it.
i met my first online friend there. his name was mike and he’s long gone, but he was everything to me and if i could go back and talk to him and change what i had done to him, i absolutely would.
he was older and cooler and he was trans and gay and 17 and he helped me figure out so many things about myself that i hadn’t known before.
we roleplayed together every single day and we were the best of friends.
everything was good for a while, in my head. i think it was more of the matter that i hadn’t thought through what was happening, i had let it completely consume me.
everything went to my head, and i started getting horrible thoughts and doing horrible things that i won’t even begin to list here, because as far as i knew, tumblr was right. everything i knew before tumblr was wrong, and my family was wrong, and my teachers were wrong. nobody understood me or what i was going through.
i got manipulative and started doing horrible things to people without realizing.
mike got sick of my bullshit really quick.
i kept making excuses and crying and guilt-tripping and eventually mike told me something i would never forget.
mike told me i needed to stay a kid, and tumblr wasn’t going to help me do that.
and i kept telling him i didn’t know what he meant, and he would just tell me to come back when i figured it out for myself.
mike was an extremely patient person and i had worn his patience thin and that said something.
it didn’t say something when i was 11 years old, but it does now.
and even if you’re staring at the screen right now, wondering what the point to my telling you all of this is, the point is that when you’re a kid and you look up to all these internet icons and you get engaged in everything they do and want to be just like them,
tumblr isn’t a good place.
because false fame goes straight to your head and corrupts you from the inside.
and even as someone 5 years older with a completely different set of interests and new labels and new knowledge, i can tell you right now that it’s still getting to me now, just like it did when i was younger, and it’s not even an age thing.
tumblr’s mindsets just aren’t good for people in general.
i’ve gone through so many usernames, so many deactivated blogs, so many sets of pronouns and labels and names, and i’m telling you right now.
as someone who’s gone through so many friends–who’ve all resembled mike in more ways than one–tumblr’s way of thinking isn’t good for kids.
Jungkook’s heart felt like it would leap out of his chest, and he could feel the heat rising to his face. Never in his life, had he been this nervous before.
Glancing down at the envelope in his hands, the boy had to admit that a love letter was a little bit cliche. But there was no way Kookie could confess to the boy in person, and just thinking about it sent another shade of red onto his cheeks. Biting his lip and questioning his decision for the 54th time that day he gazed at the name on the locker in front of him with conflicting feelings ‘Jimin’
Just slip it in. No wait don’t, he’ll think it’s weird. Ah, but I promised myself I’d do it… But what if he never talks to me again, no no no, I would definitely die!
Back and forth he fought with himself, until finally, taking a deep breath, he slowly started sliding the scented letter through the slot. With only the tips of his fingers holding on, he paused, about to reach the point of no return.
He shook his head, deciding that it wasn’t worth the risk. No, rather just hide these feelings for now…or maybe just forever. With a sigh, Jungkook was about to pull the envelope out, when he heard the unmistakable sound of Jimin’s laughter.
All colour draining from him, Kookie nearly had a heart attack, panic infectiously spreading throughout his body. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he’s coming this way! Trying to yank the letter out, he lost his hold on it, and it fell-
Right into the locker.
Jungkook internally screamed, wildly flailing his hands in front of his face. Hearing the footsteps of the older boy draw near, he dived around the corner, pressing his back against the wall and tightly squeezing his eyes shut.
Don’t notice me, don’t notice me. Become a coatrack, oh please let me become a coatrack.
He could hear the lively chatter and friendly conversation being made, one of his friends cracking a joke as they all laughed at the funny remark. And then he heard it. The horrid sound of metal scraping against the steel frame, as Park Jimin, opened his locker.
“And I said, how was I supposed to-”
“Hey, what fell out of your locker Jimin?”
Jungkook prayed to the heavens that against everything, his crush might not open the letter. He pushed his whole body into the wall, wishing he could just dissapear into it.
Picking it up, Jimin looked at the letter, a look of surprise flitting across his features. “It’s a love letter.” His friends broke out into excited shouts, loudly exclaiming over the light blue envelope.
“Isn’t it a little old fashioned?” “Jimin, you sly fox!” “Open it, open it, open iiiiit!”
Jimin chuckled under his breath, a lopsided smile stretching out across his lips. The sound made Jungkook’s knees weak. “Okay, okay calm down! I’ll open it.”
Kookie’s hands flew to his mouth, covering it as his eyes grew wider by the minute. As if it wasn’t bad enough that Jimin was going to find out, all of his friends were going to know as well. How would he ever show his face at school again? He should just move to Mexico now before all the flights are booked.
“Dear Jimin, I know this is probably very sudden, but I’ve liked you for a long time now.”
More excited shouting from the group as Jimin read, and Kookie could feel his spirit physically leaving his body.
“I’m too shy to say it in person, and I hope you’ll accept this letter instead.”
“So she’s the shy type,” one of the boys remarked, Jimin grinning from ear to ear.
“Keep reading, keep reading!”
Oh no. This was it. The part where Kookie confessed all his unrequited, mushy feelings and revealed it was him who had written the letter. He could just run out and claim it was all a prank. Or just eat the letter before Jimin had the chance to read it. Wait, was Mexico still an option?
“I get nervous from just saying hello, and whenever you smile I forget how to breathe. Even though I’m so awkward, you always patiently listen to what I have to say, and never rush me when I stutter. I know I’m bad with conveying how I feel but…”
Jimin trailed off, his eyes scanning the letter as realization set in. Hearing the silence Kookie held his breath. Was it gross? Being confessed to by a guy?
“Why’d you stop? What’s it say!?”
“Sorry guys…I um, don’t think I can read this after all.”
There it was. He was probably disgusted, maybe even shocked too. Even so, he didn’t reveal Jungkook’s identity. Damn it, why did he have to be so nice. His niceness is what got him into this mess in the first place!
“It’s…kind of personal.”
“Look at him, he’s blushing!” “Geez, leaving us hanging like that. It was just at the good paaaart~”
Jimin smiled apologetically at his friends. “Sorry sorry. Go on without me, I’ll catch up with you okay?”
“Fine, but you better tell us about it later.” “See yah round Casanova!”
Kookie heard the lively group - still gossiping about the letter - leave the room (luckily through the other exit). Jimin slumped against the lockers, and Kookie heard him sigh. Was his letter causing trouble for the older boy?
“What the hell…” the orange haired boy murmured. “Why does he have to be so freaking cute?”
It took a full half-a-second for Jungkook’s face to become flushed with colour. His stomach did five flips, before he sank down to the floor. Oh my gosh. He covered his face with his hands, his heart going a mile a minute. Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.
He- Jimin said- He called him- Aaaaah, of all things he- Cute.
As Jimin put the letter into his pocket, and turned the corner to go home, he couldn’t help but hide his smile behind the back of his hand.
Because on the floor, with his knees pulled up to his chest and his hands hiding his face, was the licorice-haired boy. He was pressed against the wall, and red all the way up to his ears.
I loved every bit of this episode! Omg like I squealed at Mateo’s outfit and those moments he shared with Elena was like icing on the cake for me. <3 And seeing Shuriki and the others again was really good! I can’t wait to see what they do next! Second season already starting off on amazing start. So yes I couldn’t help making a small edit of them.:D
I am 17 and single, will i ever find my significant other? Or am i just hopeless?
Girl, you are so damn young do not stress for ONE MORE MINUTE about finding your S.O.
Be patient, keep being you, and work on improving and loving yourself, and I promise you, you will find someone who loves every bit of you.
Focus on school and work, take care of your body, eat right, exercise, sleep well, moisturize, do a face mask every once in a while, just work on loving yourself and caring for yourself. You’ll feel better, look better, and just all around attract others better with your killer personality and confidence. Health, confidence, and intelligence are irresistible to the right people, and being in the right state of mind and body is essential to a entering a healthy relationship.
If you’re comfortable, try Tinder or Match, things like that. There’s always a healthy mix of hookup and relationship material, and you’re absolutely allowed to be picky. It’s a great way to meet new people, I actually met my current mans on Tinder.
Don’t let anyone push you around or force you into a relationship. Love yourself, and love from others is sure to follow.
Ok so I chickened out but I promised a fic my good friend @rebelliisms was sweet enough to write something !
From John to Alexander)
Where do I even begin? No words could honestly describe how I feel about you. Like is an understatement and love is just a bit too straight forward. I could get lost in your eyes and your smile just melts my heart. My life had been dull and gray before you made a difference, pulling me out of that trance that kept a fake smile on my face. Your brilliance and bravery was something I can never match; you are an one of a kind.
Time went by before you met the love of your life, while I had already found mine. The news of your proposal to Eliza broke me, but my tears didn’t fall until the wedding. Angelica proposed a toast to the new couple, I slipped out of the ballroom and cried.
One sided love is an awful thing; she was always on your mind while you were on mine. Washington called us back to camp to continue fighting, and I am ashamed to say that I was happy to have you all to myself. I felt like we got closer, but that wedding band on your finger was always a painful reminder that I couldn’t have you.
Then Lee ran his mouth and I knew how much you couldn’t stand it. I could see how angry you’d get, I knew how much you wanted to shut him up. The general told you that you couldn’t take action, so I took the risk for you. I was nervous when I held my pistol tightly in my hand, my racing heartbeat almost drowning out the man who was counting. Ten. I turned around and fired, the opposing bullet whipped past me while my hit its target. Lee went down and Burr took him to the doctor. Washington was angry with the both of us, but he scolded you instead. Before you were sent home, I knew I would be sent off with my first all black battalion as the one in charge. You approached the horse waiting for you but I quickly went to say my last goodbyes. You smiled and told me how much of a great friend I was. I couldn’t say what I wanted to in response, my heart aching and my throat suddenly dry. You loved her, I still loved you. I placed my hand on your shoulder and smiled, something to make at least one of us feel better.
“You won’t miss me.”