love-me-anyway

Trust

Summary: Dean comforts the reader.

Characters: Dean x Reader; their daughter, Katie

Word Count: 1161

A/N: Pure Dean Fluff


DEAN’S POV

I hadn’t been in bed long. You’d turned in early needing your sleep. You were still recovering from giving birth to our daughter. You were so beautiful; I couldn’t help but lie next to you and watch you sleep.

I brushed a lock of hair out of your face and tried again to understand just how lucky I am. You had accepted my crazy life, and you had accepted me. You knew everything there was to know about me, and you loved me anyway.

The way I felt about you was so powerful it scared me sometimes. The love I felt for Sam was fierce and protective, but it was nothing compared to the love I felt for you and our baby. Asking you to marry me wasn’t optional. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. I wanted you to have my name; it makes me proud and humbles me to call you Mrs. Winchester. I do that a lot, still. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.

My hand was still on your cheek when your face scrunched up, and you started to say our little girl’s name over and over. You were getting more upset calling for her, and I put my hand on your shoulder to try to wake you. You didn’t respond to my touch. Tears were oozing from the corners of your eyes. “Y/N. Wake up, Sweetheart.” You were still lost in the nightmare, and I couldn’t pull you out. Something was threatening our baby, and you were scared.

I had to get you back to reality, back to me. I wanted to make you feel safe, to let you know Katie was safe. I’d promised to protect you both, and I needed you to know I was keeping that promise. I shook you gently. “Y/N. Love, it’s me. You’re with me. It’s not real. You’re with me.” You suddenly sat straight up in bed and wrapped your arms around your waist hugging yourself tightly.

“Dean!?” I was next to you in a second pulling you close against my chest and holding you tight. I rested my chin on top of your head and closed my eyes. I held you in my arms reassuring you as much as I could. You’d grabbed onto my t-shirt with one of your hands grasping it in your fist. Eventually, I felt the tension leave you. You whispered, “Dean, is she okay? Did you check on her?”

I buried my face in your hair before kissing your head and answering, “She’s fine, Love. She’s fine. I won’t let anything or anyone hurt her.” I turned your face to look at me. “I won’t.” I kissed your lips, and when I looked at you again the fear had left your eyes. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

I got up from our bed slowly making sure it was really okay to leave you. It was a short walk next door to the room we had turned into Katie’s nursery. I walked over to her crib. There she was sleeping peacefully under the butterfly mobile you bought for her. It was the girliest thing you could find. I loved it.

I lifted her out of the crib. She was still sleeping. I wanted to kiss her, but I hadn’t shaved that day so I didn’t. Our baby girl makes me feel vulnerable in a way I never have. It feels right. “Hey, little one, Daddy’s here. Daddy’s here to keep you safe. I love you, my sweet girl. Mommy needs to see you. She needs to see that you’re safe. Okay?” I walked back to our room carrying our daughter. She was complete innocence in my arms. When I opened the door, you were still sitting up in bed. Your eyes landed on Katie, and a smile spread across your face. You reached out for her, and I put her in your arms.

I sat down in front of you looking at your face as you looked at her. You were radiant. I can’t think of any other word. I brushed my fingers across your cheek and then hers. I’d die or kill for either of you without hesitation. She started to stir and fuss. It was time for her to eat. You’d been sleeping in my flannel shirts lately. You said they were perfect for breast feeding. I unbuttoned the top few buttons for you. You pulled my shirt aside and guided Katie to your nipple. Awe can’t even describe what I felt while I watched you nurse her.

“You are amazing, Y/N. You’re everything she needs. You carried her inside you. You gave her life.”

You looked up from her and locked your eyes onto mine. “I didn’t do that by myself, Dean.”

I smiled at you and felt the tears at the back of my eyes. “I was just showing you how much I love you.”

You smiled back at me. “That love made her. She’s here because you love me, because I love you. I’m so glad you’re her father. I know how special you are going to make her feel, how loved. She won’t grow up like I did believing a man would never love her. That’s what I thought until you.”

A tear made its way down my cheek. “I do love you, Y/N.”.

You handed Katie to me. “Will you burp her?” She was so small on my shoulder. I started to pat her back as I stood up and walked toward the door. I turned to look at you before I left the room. You nodded. “I’m okay.”

She spit up on me in the process of burping. I settled her back in her crib, and she snuggled in already falling asleep. I pulled off my shirt and tossed it in the hamper in the corner. You weren’t surprised when I came back to bed not wearing a shirt. This wasn’t the first time this had happened.

I climbed into bed beside you. You had left the buttons of my flannel undone, so it was easy for me to reach inside and put my hands on your back. I just wanted to touch you. There wouldn’t be any sex. The delivery hadn’t been easy for you. It would be awhile before your doctor cleared us for that. I could wait. You were close to me, and you weren’t scared anymore. That’s all that mattered.

You laid your head on my chest, and I was rubbing my hand up and down your back. “Thank you, Dean, for always knowing what I need. In my dream, she was gone. Katie had disappeared. You brought her back to me.” You kissed my chest and then lay your head back down.

I didn’t know what to say, I really didn’t. You trusted me completely, and everyday I would do whatever I needed to do to keep that trust and be worthy of your love.

Tags: @nothin-after-79 @jotink78 @tom-is-in-my-tardis
@percussiongirl2017 @pain-of-artifice @raimie77
@fangirl1802 @roxy-davenport @mogaruke
@27bmm @jensen-jarpad @sea040561
@emptywithout @wheresthekillswitch @ginamsmith @bea789 @untitled39887

Paper Stars

Summary: Dan starts to get love notes in his locker in the form of origami stars, so he gets the help of his best friend, Phil, to figure out who it is.
Word Count: 2,398
Warnings: cussing
A/N: Thanks to @insanityplaysfics as always for giving me ideas. I’m a fucking sap recently because my boyfriend proposed to me and I just wanna write a crapton of fluff and puke rainbows everywhere. This is short and sweet, which is very rare for me! I hope you like it anyways!
Read it on AO3

-

The day Dan opened his locker to a strange slip of paper folded into an origami star was one of the strangest moments of his life.

“What,” Dan said simply, giving the offending paper a strange look. He bent down and retrieved it, staring at it long and hard. It was thin, made with a flowery paper, and he could just make out words written in very small print on it. “What,” Dan said again.

With a small amount of struggle, Dan managed to unwrap the star, revealing the writing inside. The script was sloppy to the point where Dan thinks it was written with the wrong hand. Dan said “what” again and the word didn’t even sound like it was real anymore. It took him a few minutes to read what it said due to the scribble, but he eventually managed.

‘i used to stare out the window because i thought the scenery was beautiful. Then i saw you and suddenly the world didnt seem nearly as captivating as before.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Top 6 Harry facial expressions.

Oh, this one is FUN!

1. The “Excuse me, Liam” is my absolute favorite:

Originally posted by hopeyoulikethat

2. The “I will stare into your soul and make sure you remember me when you’re alone” one:

Originally posted by mybeautylittlethings

3. The “I know exactly what I’m doing and I know how much you want me” look:

Originally posted by sstyles

4. The “I am a cocky asshole but you love me anyway” look:

Originally posted by nodenyingheisgolden

5. The “I’m trying to hold back a smile” look:

Originally posted by l-a-r-r-y-s-h-i-p-p-e-r

And last, but not least, number 6, the “I think I’m so funny” look:

Originally posted by botherashion

Honorable mention to the “I’m a dramatic ass hoe” look:

Originally posted by 16meets18

ASK ME MY “TOP 6” ANYTHING!

twitter

pairing: lin x reader

prompt: twitter war/their love story (told through twitter tho)

warnings: mentions of sex, swearing?

words: 1,528

a/n: bc i fell in love with hamilbye’s chicken nugget fic (no like seriously it’s the cutest thing i’ve read in my entire life this isn’t even half as good but i hope you like it anyways :)



February 22, 2016 - 7:40 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I don’t understand how people can be so narrow-minded. The world is your oyster. Be open to different interpretations and explanations.

@Y/N:

Got berated by some dude with a ponytail today because I asked why Alexander Hamilton was on the $10

@Y/N:

But thank u for the history lesson. I thought he was our fourth president

@Y/N:

I’m not sure how I passed APUSH


March 30, 2016 - 11:09 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I just saw a video of @Y/N singing a Regina Spector song at a concert and I don’t think I’ve ever been more in love in my life

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N pls be on the mixtape

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel: i don’t know enough about “the first secretary of treasury who happens to be a badass” and 20 more minutes of things that disqualifies me from this but thx!!

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N *finger guns*


You snickered to yourself at this. It’s not like you were actually pissed or anything. And you couldn’t deny that his play was amazing. He just was a little extra sometimes.


April 19, 2016 - 4:03 a.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I’m tired someone help me

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel go to bed

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N wow1!!1!! Didn’t think of that one!!

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel you asked for help :)

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N how can I repay you for this great suggestion

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel an apology

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N what’d I do this time

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel for keeping me up

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N post notifs for bae?! <3 luv u

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel you wish. i’m writing new music about the “narrow-mindedness of some people”

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N what’s it called? “I got a 2 on the APUSH exam”?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I’m leaning more towards “I rhymed sun with son


April 22, 2016 - 5:55 p.m.

@Y/N:

I’m ordering chinese food and I need an honest opinion on the chicken: sweet or sour?

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N definitely sweet

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel wrong

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N IT’S AN OPINION


April 30, 2016 - 6:59 a.m.

@Lin_Miranda:

Thought I rode next to @Y/N on the subway this morning. It turned out to be a loud man

@Y/N:

Thought I saw @Lin_Miranda at the subway station yesterday. Turned out to be just a rat

@livelovelin:

@Y/N @Lin_Miranda this has progressed from silly flirting to relentless savagery and i’m concerned


May 1, 2016 - 12:09 p.m.

@hamiltonorsomething:

@Lin_Miranda what happened with u and @Y/N ?

@Lin_Miranda:

@hamiltonorsomething ask her!

@Y/N:

@hamiltonorsomething nothing he’s just annoying

@Lin_Miranda:

@Y/N @hamiltonorsomething I think you meant amazing, energetic, handsome, compassionate… shall I continue?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Miranda not unless you’re describing a dog

@hamiltonorsomething:

@Lin_Miranda @Y/N woOf


May 5, 2016 - 11:21 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

Found out @Y/N was at the show tonight. Care to explain?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel my best friend treated me with tickets for my birthday. It was her gag gift.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N did you thank her

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel yeah

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N is ur friend cute

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel yeah

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N am I cute

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel well…

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N :///////

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N did u like the show

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel yeah

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N did u get the flowers I sent to you office for your birthday

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel yeah :)

@hamforham:

@Lin_Miranda you bought @Y/N flowers??!!

@Lin_Miranda:

@hamforham @Y/N ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


May 23, 2016 - 7:03 a.m.

@Y/N:

I was doing a crossword puzzle and the clue was “snakelike fish” @Lin_Manuel any ideas? Three letters with an L…

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N sure! Are you positive it doesn’t happen to have the same about of letters as your name?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel, no. that was 4 down: long reigning queen.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N I thought that was 8 across: savage

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel how do u go from asshole to friend in .00293 seconds

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N (it’s probably eel)


July 4, 2016 - 7:08 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

Bit of a crazy fourth.
My aunt: That’s your 3rd plate
My sister: That’s your 3rd husband 

@Y/N

@Lin_Manuel: I SCREAMED

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N sounds like you in bed!

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel like you’d know that

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N um you have cooties…


August 8, 2016 - 5:09 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I’m debating whether to wear the gold or the silver bow tie tonight. Gold is the color of winners, but silver is dashing.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel go with the silver and come second for a change

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N trust me, you’ll always come first in my heart

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N and literally

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I’m avoiding you all night.


August 8, 2016 - 7:12 p.m.

@baldlin:

should i be concerned that there are no photos of @Lin_Manuel and @Y/N at the show yet

@Lin_Manuel:

@baldlin probably not. Seeing as she’s sitting next to me right now. (She looks really pretty. But don’t tell her I said that.)

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I’m next to you, dork


August 11, 2016 - 8:05 p.m.

@Y/N:

I’m not sure whether to watch the Lion King or the Little Mermaid

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N you’re joking, right? The Little Mermaid is obvi the way to go

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel just bc you said that I’m gonna watch the Lion King

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N :(

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I’ll watch the little mermaid with you a different day

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N how’s this weekend sound?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel did u just ask me on a date…
over twitter…
in front of all ur fans…

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N I mean we’ll have to sit on other sides of the room so I don’t catch your cooties but yeah

@Y/N: 

@Lin_Manuel text me the deets, dork


August 13, 2016 - 8:20 a.m.

@linterallyscreaming:

@Y/N how was the date with @Lin_Manuel ?

@Y/N:

@linternallyscreaming if I’m being honest… :) he’s the reason we have safety warnings on everything.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N @linternallyscreaming says the girl who literally broke my bed last night

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel THAT IS OUT OF CONTEXT


August 30, 2016 - 9:30 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N are you from France bc madamn

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel are you from Africa bc Kenya not


September 13, 2016 - 7:06 a.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

Good morning! 
Okay so @Y/N went home and then brought me back coffee this morning and she put salt in it instead of sugar. I’m still not sure if it was on purpose or not

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel next time it will be on purpose.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N next time just make it at my place.


September 15, 2016 - 2:02 a.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

People who make your heart smile are so important in the world


October 8, 2016 - 1:07 a.m.

@Y/N:

Okay so you know that feeling when you almost drop something but like rlly quick catch it and everyone is like OHHHH
You’re gonna find someone who makes you feel like that all the time


October 26, 2016 - 3:09 p.m. 

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N looks fire in her latest shoot

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel you have to say that we’re dating


October 30, 2016 - 6:47 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N wrote a song about you today

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel what’s it called

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N “she didn’t know APUSH but she knew me”


November 22, 2016 - 10:08 a.m.

@Y/N:

Just left @Lin_Manuel at the airport. His flight was at 8, I just didn’t want to leave him yet.


November 22, 2016 - 3:25 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N landed. Please don’t make me cry.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N too late

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N the security guard just asked if I was okay and I explained to him out lives for the past 40 minutes.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N it hasn’t even been 24 hours and life sucks without you.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel life sucks without u :’(

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N I love you

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel you’re okay

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel jk I love you too


November 29, 2016 - 9:06 p.m.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel wrote a song about you today

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N what’s it called

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel “I miss you please come home”

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N just started crying in the cab. I’ll be home soon.


December 3, 2016 - 8:56 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I hope you all got your Hamilton Mixtape! It’s got some really talented people and so really cool stuff!

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel remember when you asked me to be on the mixtape

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N remember when you asked why Hamilton was on the ten dolla


December 7, 2016 - 4:51 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N picked me up at the airport with a dog in the backseat. I don’t know who I was more excited to see.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel I think we both know who you were more excited to see

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N the dog?


December 19, 2016 - 1:19 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I’ve almost spoiled @Y/N ‘s Christmas gift four times. I need self control.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel tell me

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N DONT DO THIS TO ME


December 24, 2016 - 2:05 p.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

I don’t know if I’m more excited to have a girlfriend for Christmas because of the chance to kiss under the mistletoe

@Lin_Manuel:

(There is LOTS of mistletoe in our house)

@Lin_Manuel:

Or if because it means I get to eat extra cookie dough she’s baking rn


January 15, 2017 - 9:00 a.m.

@Lin_Manuel:

You’re so pretty I can’t look directly at you.
You’re an eclipse.
Good morning.

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel i’m right next to you, dork

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N how’d I get so lucky

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel it was honestly the rant about Hamilton last year

@Lin_Manuel:

@Y/N love me anyways?

@Y/N:

@Lin_Manuel love you always.

Arachnophobia Headcanons

-An Alpha trying to get their Omega to go to bed with them and being very thrown off when the Omega stubbornly refuses to go. Thinking maybe they’ve done something to upset their mate, the Alpha asks why they refuse, the Omega than mumbles something about how they saw a spider earlier and they are now afraid to go in the bedroom. The Alpha is torn between laughter and fondness as they observe the Omega’s anxious expression…they sleep on the couch together that night, just to make the Omega feel better

-An Alpha returning home from work and realizing that the house reeks of fear and distress so they rush off just to find their Omega crouched on the kitchen counter clutching a frying pan and staring intently at the floor. The Alpha is immediately like, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” and the startled Omega instantly becomes very red faced as they slowly lower the frying pan and sheepishly explain, “I was making lunch and I thought I saw a spider so…” a pause and then, “Lunch…? Its after eight at night.” another pause, “…I really don’t like spiders…” after thoroughly searching the kitchen the Alpha confirms that there are no spiders anywhere and the Omega just feels like an idiot

-An Alpha freaking out over a tiny spider and begging their Omega to kill it for them and the Omega is just, “Why are you scared? Its way smaller than you are.” and the Alpha is like, “Yes most things are. Now, less talk more squish please.” and the Omega just gives a fond eye roll before quickly squishing the unwanted house guest

-A pregnant Omega making their Alpha knock down a spider web for them because they are terrified of spiders…but after it’s down they promptly dissolve into tears because they just destroyed some innocent creatures home and how can they possibly raise a child when they are such cold and cruel people…and the Alpha is left standing next to the fallen web like, “…what just happened here?”

-An Alpha low-key panicking because they saw a spider go behind the couch so they turn to their mate like, “You’re small, crawl back there and kill it pleeeaase!” and the Omega is just, “You think it’s gonna hurt you but you don’t mind sending me near it?” a slight pause, “….yes?” the Omega just stares at the Alpha for a minute before reaching down to remove their shoe, “Alright sure, stay here.”

-An Omega meeting with a potential Alpha and being asked if they thought there was anything the Alpha should know about their expectations right off the bat and the Omega’s expression instantly becomes very serious so the Alpha assumes they are about to hear something really important…only to be thrown off when the words, “You kill the spiders.” are the only thing the Omega says before immediately switching back to their relaxed cheerful state once again and the Alpha is like, “Okayyy then…”

-An Omega spotting a spider in their nest so they have their Alpha take it all apart so it can be put back together somewhere else in the house. The Omega being low-key distressed about having to move it from the very specific and comfortable spot they had originally chosen, but they don’t want to risk more spiders invading their source of comfort…and possibly crawling on them while they sleep…

-An Alpha hiding plastic spiders around the house as a joke, not realizing how badly it would scare their mate, and instantly regretting it when the Omega panics and then gives them the silent treatment for two weeks after realizing the spiders were fake

-An Omega being afraid of a little baby spider and their Alpha laughing their head off about it until the Omega is just pouting like, “You’re the Alpha, stop laughing and act all concerned and protective dammit! Stick to the fucking stereotypes for once!”

-An Alpha choosing to watch Spiderman on one of their first movie dates with an Omega, not knowing the Omega is beyond terrified of spiders and being very confused when the Omega ends up practically in their lap, clutching the Alpha’s shirt in their hands and ducking their head against the Alpha’s chest when they get scared. The Alpha embracing the situation and just thinking, “Oh I guess I don’t need to try the horror movie thing after all, Spiderman is just as effective apparently.”

My self esteem has taken a huge hit since I cut off all my hair and I’m honestly so glad. I have been shattered. I got rid of something I was known for to an extent. I used my hair as a safety net. I let it define me. I relied on it a lot and I got a ton of attention for it. All the people flipping out over it telling me to grow it back just proves what a big deal it was and still is. I am forced to look at myself as a human being and decide who I am. I’m redefining myself. Some people are saying I’m being dramatic and it’s just hair or that I talk about it too much but I think it just shows how much people don’t understand. My appearance is such a huge part of my identity and it’s wrong. It’s harmful to me. I feel so much pressure to look perfect every day and if I don’t I feel like I don’t matter or I’m letting everyone down. Obviously that is so dramatic and not true at all but it’s such a weak spot for me. When people say things like “sorry you look better with long hair” or “you were prettier before” it can hurt me so bad if it’s at the wrong moment. I am so detached most of the time it really doesn’t affect me but if someone catches me in a weak moment it can get to me and bring me down. I’m tired of seeing myself for my outer shell. I’m tired of feeling scared people don’t love me anymore. As if the entire world loved me before anyway omg 🙄😑 the people who are telling me I’m not pretty anymore never loved me to begin with and I don’t want their approval or anything from them really. I need to stop caring about people who don’t know me. Everyone close to me has been SO supportive and encouraging and it’s been so fun. When I’m calm and comfortable and I look at my hair, my natural reaction is pure happiness. There is no fear, no doubt, no questions. I love my hair! If I wanna grow it out later I will but right now I do love it and want to keep it for a while. I only think about growing it out when the desire to please people starts to creep back in. Thoughts of growing it out come from a place of fear and that sucks. This entire new chapter has been about ditching fear and it genuinely has been so positive. There is the negative undercurrent of fear, yes, but it doesn’t negate the good. I want this to stop. People can and will say whatever they want but I’m doing my part to cut off all negativity. My self esteem is more important than random insensitive strangers on the internet who prefer long-haired women. There are so many accounts you can look at if you want some rapunzel chick. I can’t live for other people. Again, it’s not that they don’t love me anymore, it’s that they never did. The people that know me are so supportive because they know it’s not that big of a deal and that I am SO MUCH MORE THAN MY HAIR. But I need to remind myself of that!!!! And it’s time I show that to the world too. I have so much to share, so much I’ve created and so much that I think about and I intend to put that into the world this year. I am actually finding myself for the first time outside of my appearance. I’m seeing myself in a new light. Of course I’ve always been aware of the fact that I’m more than my looks, I consciously understand that but I can actually FEEL it now. I didn’t truly believe it before. I guess what I hope you guys can take away from this is that if people are defining you by something superficial or if YOU are, challenge that. You are more than what people say about you, what you look like, your circumstances, really anything external. You’re so much more. We have to get in touch with our value as humans, feel it, believe it, live it and SHARE it with the world. Confidence comes from knowing you are full of light and goodness and that no one can change that. I’m only sharing myself with safe people, people who know and understand me. I’m going to continue to be myself to the fullest and put myself out there but I’m no longer giving weight to what people think of my appearance. Of course it’s hard but I welcome the challenge. If I like it, that’s all that matters. My happiness is important and so is yours. So anyway I just wanted to update you guys on my life and let you know that recently I’ve been struggling with this but I’m working through it. If it seems like I’m always dealing with something, it’s because I am hahaha. That’s life when you’re in touch with your feelings, it’s not bad! It’s more challenging but WAY more fulfilling at the end of the day. I love feeling my feelings and acknowledging them and dealing with them, I didn’t always do that and my life was nowhere near as good as it is now. Overall I’m happy and very optimistic, I’m working on myself, my relationships, my music and my health and this year is already turning out to be one of the best yet, despite some bumps. Love you guys and hope this helps you understand me a little more 💜

EDIT: I wanna add on to the first thought that I’m glad my self esteem has been shattered. I wrote this in between takes while shooting a cover today and I forgot to finish that idea. I’m glad I’ve been shattered because I was building myself on a flimsy foundation. My infrastructure was so shaky and flawed, I was doing okay but I needed to be rebuilt. Those pieces of me that were clinging to other people’s opinions and approval needed to crumble so I could rebuild into a better, stronger version of myself. This is a theme in my life. Every few years, whatever pieces of me start to go in a bad direction are eventually destroyed and then I rebuild into a better version of myself haha