A letter to the one who loves me next,

I can’t wait for this day, but there are a couple of things that you should know. It’s not going to be easy, I don’t know if I’m even capable of being loved at this point in my life, but I’m ready to fight for it.

I question my sanity most days, and love to run away from reality. I may fight for everything and about anything, but it’s only because I crave attention. Even if it’s negative. I need to be your world, and I need you to show me that. I need to be constantly reminded I am something because I do have a past.

I’ve been broken, many times. It’s hard for me to trust, and it’s even harder for me to love. But I’m going to test you, because that’s all I know how to do. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s going to take effort.

I have many scars and unhealed wounds. I’ve struggled with mental illness for a really long time now, and more days than not I’ll have a bad day.

But when you love me, I’ll love you hard. I’ll love you deep. You’ll be my world. You’ll be my everything. It may take a lot of effort, but dammit when I love, I love with everything that I have. My good days make 20 of my bad days seem like nothing.

But most importantly, I may not catch you when you fall for me, but that’s only because I’ll be holding your hand and falling also. I believe in fairytales and happily ever afters. I’m ready for this rollercoaster of adventures with you. And I’ll be someone you’ll never forget. Love me with everything you are. I’m ready for us.