love-is-a-four-letter-word

He’s giving her the silent treatment. Curt yes and no answers, professional but cold as ice towards her. Prickly Julius who shuts her out and asks to get switched to a desk job in Germany to get away from her where she knows he probably spends the morning meetings imagining using the suits for target practice while they drone on about expense reports he couldn’t care less about. Do me a favor and shoot me in the head if they ever send me to be a paper-pusher, Night, he used to say to her. He was always more afraid of the mental suicide of boredom than he ever was of physical death. But he chose to be one of the living zombies back at headquarters to get away from her and that hurts. He gets up to go take a cigarette break outside and she follows him.

He leans against the back wall of the alleyway and she stands next to him, the tense silence in between them. He doesn’t look at her.

“This is how it’s going to be, Julius? You aren’t even going to talk to me for the rest of your life?”

He lights up a cigarette, the bright flame illuminating his face. He blows out smoke into the night. “I have nothing to say to you, Jess.”

“Why can’t it be the way it was? Why can’t we just be friends?”

“I don’t want to be your friend, Jess. If that’s what you want, find some other guy. You’re not the type of girl who ever has to go home alone at the end of the night.”

“But they aren’t you.”

She steps into his personal space and he lets her. She fits herself against him, her face tucked into the hollow of his throat. “You weren’t supposed to fall in love with me, Julius,” she whispers to him. “You promised.”

He cups her cheek with his hand. “I know. I’m sorry. For that, I’m sorry.”

She looks into his eyes and he’s open to her again. Not Prickly Julius but Warm Julius, Teddy Bear Julius who likes to wrap his arms around her when he’s sleeping and take her dancing when no one else is looking. Her Julius who looks at her with love in his eyes and loves her even when she can’t love him back. 

“In or out, Jess?”

She can’t love him. She can’t love anyone. But for him she wants to want to. For him, she would try. “In.”

She leans in to kiss him but he takes a step back from her. The door opens behind them and Ryan steps out. He looks in between them. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Julius says gruffly. Prickly Julius again. Julius with a titanium heart who lives with ice water running through his veins.

Ryan shrugs and lets it go. “Phone call for you, Julius.”

Ryan turns and goes back inside. They follow him. In the hallway, behind Ryan’s back and where no one else can see, her fingers graze the palm of his hand like a promise. Julius grasps her hand and squeezes it briefly before he lets her go.

I Won't Give Up
Jason Mraz
I Won't Give Up

Jason Mraz

I Won’t Give Up

When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There’s so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you’ve come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up

And when you’re needing your space
To do some navigating
I’ll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

‘Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We’ve got a lot to learn
God knows we’re worth it
No, I won’t give up

I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not
And who I am

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
Still looking up.

I won’t give up on us (no I’m not giving up)
God knows I’m tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We’ve got a lot to learn (we’re alive, we are loved)
God knows we’re worth it (and we’re worth it)

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up

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Jason Mraz - 93 Million Miles [Official Music Video]

Filmed at Red Rocks, Morrison, Colorado.

There’s no better place!

Love Isn’t a Four Letter Word  (Steve Rogers x reader)

Prompt:  Can I make a request where the girl who’s an avengers is best friends with Steve but he secretly likes her and so he keeps drawing her secretly but then the girl finds his drawings? Thanks so much I love your writing :D

~~~ 

The first puzzle piece that you found wasn’t hidden very well. It was hastily taped to your morning coffee mug.  The drawing was of a hand holding a book.  It was elegantly drawn despite its simplicity, and you knew who put it there.

Steve had been your best friend almost immediately after he was found in the ice.  The first SHIELD agent to see him as he woke, you took a personal interest in helping him to acclimate to the modern world.  In those first months, you were spending every day together.  You taught him how to survive in this new version of New York, and he taught you to slow down for the simple pleasures around you.  He was the perfect gentleman, and never once were you concerned of his intentions.  In fact, you’ve recently begun to wonder if he would ever find that ‘special someone’ and settle down.

“Hey, Cap.  Sleep well?”

All you could make out was a low mumble as he dropped himself into the chair next to you, head in his hands.  “I don’t think I slept all night.”

Reaching over to him you ruffled his hair, but he quickly sat up straight into an uncomfortable posture.  “I’m sorry, (Y/N), guess I’m just jumpy this morning.”  He grabbed his coffee and quickly exited.  

Yeah, that wasn’t weird at all.  

The next few puzzle pieces were scattered around the tower for you to find.  Each one became harder to find than the one before, but also with much greater detail in the drawings.  As each piece was found, you built the puzzle on your bedroom door.  So far you had much of the form, but never any hair or facial features.  What was Steve doing?  You hadn’t seen much of him lately, and when you did he was quick to find a reason to leave.

Finally, you were down to the last piece of Steve’s puzzle. It was the body of a woman, graceful and soft, but so far unrecognizable.  The face was all that was missing.  It suddenly occurred to you that it could be Peggy.  Was he struggling with dreams again?  Is that why he isn’t sleeping?  Frantically searching the tower, you began to lose hope that you would find the final piece to unlock Steve’s message. Exasperated, you laid back on the couch in the common room, hoping to clear your head.  Two hours later, you woke to a dark room.

Dammit.    

The faint sounds of Steve working in the gym caught your attention.  You were going to figure this out once and for all.  Just go up to him and ask.  He’s your best friend; if something is bothering him then he should know he could ask you for help.  When you entered, the gym was dark, with a small light in the back of the room. Feeling your way towards it, you recognized your puzzle on the far wall; it looked complete.

It was you.  It was exquisite.  And suddenly you couldn’t breathe.  

“Hey, (Y/N).”  

You jumped, turning around to find Steve behind you. He was as gorgeous as you had ever seen him.  Even in the dark room his blue eyes shined.  He actually looked rested and happy, something you hadn’t seen for days.  He gently smiled at you as you regained your composure.  “Steve, what’s going on?”

With a deep sigh he began, “(Y/N), we’ve been friends, best friends, for a long time now.  I see you every day and still I miss you the moment the day is over, and I can’t sleep because I want to get to the next day with you.  But each day gets harder and harder because I want nothing more than to tell you how much I love you.  And I’m terrified that you don’t feel the same way, but I’m even more scared to not try because I may be missing out on starting the best part of my life with you.  I didn’t know how to say it, so I tried to draw you so that you could see the way I see you, and hoped that you would just know.”

You didn’t realize that your mouth was open, a look of shock on your face.  “Steve…I…”

“I know, I’m an idiot.”  His face dropped a bit, his arms lowered to his sides.  “Anyway, here, these are for you.”  Tears filled your eyes as he handed you a bouquet of your favorite flowers, starting to slowly back away.

Rushing forward, you threw your arms around him, standing up on your toes to kiss him.  His hands moved to your hips, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you. For just a brief second, you had worried that this first kiss would be awkward; the end to your friendship.  

But it was perfect, and you wondered why you both had waited so long.