On your loneliest night,
I still wonder if you’re thinking of me.
On your coldest night,
I still wonder if you’re missing me.
On the darkness of the night,
I wonder if you’re looking for me.
On the dead of the night,
I wonder if you still love me.
Every night I always wonder,
Hoping that you’ll always remember.
There are a lot of things that you should know about me.
My mind is a dangerous place–it is dark and messed up. I might be reluctant to let you in because even I would get lost in my thoughts of drowning in a sea of blood, of sinking my teeth into the decay of my mortality, and of all of the monsters I trade my secrets with at night.
My heart is still something unknown and something I have yet to own. It breaks every time it beats and anchors my body to the ground. It is shameful and worships metaphors and similes. Desire seeps out of my skin and I use it to set myself on fire on the darkest of dawns.
My body is a constellation of scars and bruises. It is an immense space full of clandestine ramblings, a dusty box filled with unsent love letters, a map of veins and worn-out skin. I am made of crossed fingers, 11:11 wishes, false hopes. I am stitched by dilemmas, fears, insecurity and depression and there will be times that you won’t be able to understand me. I have the tendency to be very clingy and sometimes, insensitive.
There will be times that I will push you to the verge of giving up but please, don’t tolerate me. Don’t whisper prayers of your love for me. Do not ever try to worship me. And most of all, do not ever try to save me.
Because I don’t need to be saved.
I won’t need one. I am not that damsel in distress who cries and wait for her prince to swoop in and save her. I’m not going to be bruised nor damaged. Nor gonna need any kind of repairing.
If I ever find myself deciding to love you, it’s going to be because I am complete enough for it. It’s going to be because I’m prepared to capitulate, carrying the knowledge with me that I won’t let any piece of me to be a patch of yours and vice versa. It’s going to be because we already are better for one another. It’s going to be because I am confident in my own skin that I won’t need any saving, I am confident in my own self to have faith in love even when everybody else is trying to make change of that faith.
s.a., to the boy who will have the courage to delve deeper in my sea
Talk dirty to me…” It’s the title of rock and pop songs… It’s something you’ve probably been asked to do… And maybe you fumbled around with trying to come up with a response… Maybe you just changed the subject and … Continue reading
one time when leah and i were first dating, there were a bunch of food trucks on campus. it was dark though, so when she was walking by them, she just saw all these lines of people standing silently (waiting for food)
and she texted me like “there’s some kind of silent protest going on right now! it’s really cool to see that kind of activism on campus. everyone’s always so apathetic.” then a couple minutes later she smelled the food and was like “… i fucked up.”
Please understand that you’re going to handle a girl who’s not in a perfect condition. You will meet me and maybe you think I am whole outside - but there’s actually gonna be a lot of repairs I need inside me.
I gave rightful love to people I thought would give back what I made them feel. I have been lied on, dumped, hurt and numerously cried over my pillow every night.
I want to remind you, that I may still be partly lost when you will have me. In fact, I don’t even know if I’m still lovable. I will be complicated sometimes. I will be hard on you. I know you will struggle on making me believe that you will not like be anybody else. And I’m already sorry for that, now.
I don’t need a superhero or even a knight in shining armor. Because of all these chaos I went through - I have already learned how to save myself.
Regardless on all these uncertainties, I promise to love you in every way, as long as I can. There’s nothing much I have to require from you. And I hope this will assure you to stay for a long time because no one has done that yet.
I am excited to finally meet you and feel as if I’ve never been in pain.
I am excited to be happy again without getting worried if am I still gonna wake up in the morning holding you. My tummy is ready to harbor butterflies as you tell me how much you love me and when you hug me everytime. I am excited too as well to make you happy, contented and make you feel loved more than anyone could. I am excited to listen to your heartbeat and listen to the rhythm of your breath or the scent you leave on my blanket. I am excited to watch my favorite cartoons with you, and eat my favorite ice cream flavor with you.
You will be the first person I tell how my day went, my rants and my opinions over things. You will be everything to me, as I am to you.
I will love you unconditionally regardless of the times I have told myself that I’m not going to love anyone else anymore
To you, who I will love next - you will be my last.
@iknowhecheatsatcards YOURE A BITCH!!!! A BITCH!!!! YOURE SO NASTY TO EVERYONE EVEN YOUR FRIENDS!!!! YOU CANT STAND TO NOT BE THE BEST AND YOULL INSULT ANYONE FOR ANYTHING
@aterriblebore YOU TURN FRIENDS ON EACH OTHER AND START FIGHTS AND THEN ACT INNOCENT YOURE AN ASSHOLE TUGGER
@brightpounce YOURE A PUSSY!!! JUST FUCKING ASK JEMIMA OUT WE’RE ALL SICK OF YOUR JEALOUS WHINING EVERLASTING CAT
@tumbl-r-brutus YOURE EVEN WORSE YOURE SO DESPERATE FOR VALIDATION YOULL DO THINGS THAT MAKE PEOPLE RESPECT YOU EVEN LESS STAND UP FOR YOURSELF FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE
@moonjellicle YOU ACT ALL QUIET AND SENSIBLE BUT YOU LOVE DRAMA AND YOU LEAD PEOPLE ON
@keentobeseen YOU!!!! YOUR PATHETIC IDOL WORSHIP OF TUGGER MAKES ME SICK YOURE SO FOCUSED ON HIM YOU FORGET YOUR FRIENDS EXIST AND YOU DONT EVEN REALISE WHEN YOU SAY CRUEL THINGS
@withbookandwithbell WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP RIDING ON ETCETERAS WAVE OF CONFIDENCE AND GET SOME OF YOUR OWN, YOURE SO SCARED TO BE LEFT BEHIND YOULL DEMEAN YOURSELF JUST TO BE INCLUDED
@areblackandwhite YOU TURNED ON ME AND YOURE A VAIN SELFISH PRICK WHO CARES MORE ABOUT HAVING AN ASS TO GRAB THAN THE PERSON THAT ASS BELONGS TO!!! YOURE LIKE A SPONGE YOU TAKE TAKE TAKE AND YOU GIVE NOTHING BACK YOU ONLY SUPPORT ME WHEN ITS CONVENIENT FOR YOU
@mvngojerrie youre good and kind and i love you but WATCH YOURSELF because if you pull a dick move i am coming for you.
ARRERDRGEHHFJFJHRHDHJDUDJEJJENBWJEJ I AM SICK OF THE JELLICLE DRAMA