He told me that he loved me, but it hurt.
I knew he would never love me like he loved her. I knew he’d never see me in that light, the light I wanted him so desperately to see me in, the one I shone on myself, begging him to please notice me.
Begging him to see my beauty, and my wit. Begging him to think my jokes are as funny as I try to make them. Begging for him to look at me a little longer, a little harder, so he could see all that I am. So he could see all that I could give to him.
Begging for him to one day come to his senses and realize that all along I was the one he needed.
oh how I miss you it aches a cavity in my chest a wound that haunts me like my shadow at 2am when I write with my flashlight trying to hide my troubles from my neighbors who wonder why my light is always on at ungodly hours of the night if they took the time to ask why I stay up so late I would say your name in a quiet whisper before awkwardly explaining my insomnia that nothing can cure nothing but you and you are so so far from me thinking of other girls at 2am I am left in my room in the shadows drenched in loneliness utterly missing you
I wish he could see himself the way I do. I wish he could see all the reasons that I fell in love with him because maybe then he’d understand the pain he inflicts every time he says that I deserve more than him, that I’ll find better than him. I could meet a billionaire with a heart of gold and it wouldn’t change a thing because in the end, no one is him. No one is good enough.
My heart chose him and I don’t know if it’ll let go. I don’t know if I want it to -Jess Amelia
I hold my breath under water so I can listen to the sound of my thoughts rushing by. I watch as the bath stains me red, only then do I see the stars you left me with.
I always think of sleeping there, wishing I could fill it up higher to fit both of us. I always think of mixing the water with the love that ruins through my vains. I think of how easy it would be to drain the mess I’ve made.
Then maybe when you look to the sky you’ll think of me. I know the clouds can’t hold my weight if I’m still holding on to you. So I hold my breath until only you fill my lungs.
I had always hoped that someone artistic would love me,
That they would see the beauty in my faults.
Play me songs that would make my heart weep tears of joy,
And paint me so beautifully, how could I hate myself any longer?
It wasn’t until I loved you, your lack of any artistic ability and all, that I realized the only artist who could love me that way,
You broke up with me because you said you lost yourself when you were with her and you needed to figure some things out. So when you left, I was excited for you to find the person that you used to be. But instead you went back to her and are worse than ever.