love you lads

If You Love Me, Come Clean

by @victoryjacketwiththethieves on AO3

Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne

Chapters: 15/15; 120k words

Rating: Explicit

Summary: “Can I help you?” Louis inquires, with a hand on his hip and the tone of someone who feels like doing the exact opposite. He’s already had enough of this character, and he hasn’t even said a word yet.

The tall and unkempt boy turns to face him. In a substantial contradiction to his overall rough appearance, his pale green eyes flash with child-like amusement. This only serves to agitate Louis even more.

“I don’t know, can you?” the yet-to-be-named boy utters with a teasing tone, striding towards him. Louis focuses on his voice, which is low, and husky, and not sexy at all. He sounds like a chainsmoker, Louis notes to himself, and this observation is in no way an attempt to distract himself from how incredibly disarming the boy looks up close.

Louis pulls his thoughts together in time to respond, “Well, that depends on how much of my time
you’re planning on wasting.”

Or, AU in which Louis works at a recording studio where Harry’s ‘up and coming’ and ‘exciting’ soon-to-be famous indie band has just signed a deal to record their debut album at, and Louis’ never even heard of them for Christ’s sakes, but that doesn’t stop him from repeatedly catching the eye of the raven-haired, eyeliner-wearing, and slightly dangerous-looking frontman (but he’s not interested, he isn’t.)

thank you to @louiswantstomarryharry for making me this edit and also thank you to @melmanpur for letting me use your manip!

okay, but can we all take a moment to appreciate chosen jacobs? he is an actual blessing and i hope he is getting all the love in the world.

Oh my god.
Reblog if you would hang this up on your wall ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

2

Happy birthday my Lima Bean!! I hope you have an amazing day with the ones you love. I’m very proud of everything you’ve achieved so far in this new era of your work. Keep being this amazing person you are. I love you a lot 💜

10

anyways today i can’t stop thinking about the fact that his relationship with aaron is the first time in his life robert has been completely, utterly and honestly himself in a relationship and it’s making me Hella Emotional.

because like, while it’s clear robert never denied his attraction to men (largely his sexual attraction if canon is anything to go by) he denied the part of himself that was romantically attracted to men for most of his life, until aaron, and we’ve seen him become more sure of himself in his sexuality since the affair and now robert has a label that he feels comfortable with and he’s out and he’s trying to be prouder and he’s the outwardly bisexual man he probably told himself he never would be.

but more than that, aaron knows the worst parts of him and still chooses to love him, and want to be with him, and we’ve seen it make robert want to be a better man. you just *know* he holds on to what andy said about aaron making him a better man for dear life, and he definitely ties his self worth to his relationship with and love for aaron, because robert believes it’s what makes him the kind of good he thinks he’s never been in his life.

so can you imagine how terrified robert is to lose that? his whole life, who he is, is wrapped up in aaron, and loving aaron, and he probably doesn’t believe he’ll be worth a damn without him. robert probably lies awake and wonders when aaron is going to leave him and wonders how he’ll cope without the one person in his life who’s pushed him to want to be more, and better.

Happy 7th Anniversary my loves!

2

BERNIE WOLFE

“The toughest most valuable lesson I ever learned was focus on the job in front of you..whatever the outcome here, you are strong enough to fight this”. 


Soon I’ll be taking a tumblr hiatus for a few months to focus on adulting..so under the cut is a truly indulgent post of me waxing lyrical on how much I heart the Wolfe..some of it is speculative because I imagine I’ll be offline throughout her “exit arc” and so I won’t get a chance to freak out and fangirl with you all in real time…  SEE BELOW  BUT ONLY IF YOU WANNA…


Oh god lord, Berenice bloody Wolfe.  I vaguely remember deciding to watch Holby City for Jemma Redgrave way back when it was announced she was going to play Bernie and I’m not one bit sorry I did. I love Bernie Wolfe, have done since day 1 and even through radio silence-gate and severe lack of screen time-gate. She’s fantastic and completely fearless in matters of work/ war/ stressful situations and all that big macho army medic stuff. But in matters of the heart Bernie Wolfe is really rather fragile, completely uncertain and rather scared to destroy the things she holds so dear. I imagine she’s lost an awful lot of relationships throughout her life to a fear, or a reluctance, to express just how deeply she feels things and how much she cares. She’s always been entirely brilliant as a surgeon and leader, shown herself to be a great team member and friend, and a source of strength for others when they’re feeling the very worst a person can feel. That good old British reserve is steeped so deep within how she approaches and reacts to every situation..she’s always a pillar of strength, but never stoic. She never wavers in the face of others expressing extreme outbursts of emotion despite that being a world away from how she expresses herself..she gives them time and whatever it is they need from her at that moment. 

We know the trauma unit is going..and I just hope that there is someone there for her, to return that favour, and I hope she feels safe enough to really allow herself the time to grieve for all the things she’s lost and all the things she’s been through..in whatever way she chooses. I’m not just talking about crying or shouting out rage in the face of Nina and Guy those fucking snAKES . I know some fans have long thought “something HAS to give, she has to break down”, but it isn’t like that for everyone. Yes loss and hurt is sometimes a roaring and screeching thing, tangible and on the surface for all to see..but sometimes for others it’s silent, never outwardly expressed but it is ever present. I just want Bernie to feel safe enough to express herself when she’s upset or angry in whichever way works best for her. Obviously this all depends if holby city have actually taken the time to treat her like a fully-realised person, a character within her own right, but let’s face it they’ve probably taken the trauma unit away from her and then provided little to no follow up.. but in the face of optimism I just deeply hope that holby city have at least written something to show those emotional complexities before she leaves (because we know Jemma is doing theatre so there’s only a matter of time). So if the trauma unit being taken away is the beginning of the end for Bernie Wolfe (pre Jemma’s play..I’m not saying she’ll never be back but as of yet..we don’t have a lot to go on).. I just hope Jemma Redgrave is given ample time to really shine, because she’s a bloody fantastic actress and she plays Bernie so beautifully. Bernie Wolfe entered holby as an already very complexed character but there is still so much untouched potential because holby city have rarely focused on her long enough since Life in the Freezer to provide us with more insight. I just hope Holby city have done her justice in her last few episodes if they are to be her last on the show because if they haven’t it’s a disservice not only to the actor but to the character who’s made a massive impact on the show within such a short space of time. If she does return and there’s to be more Bernie Wolfe in the future then I hope the show’s writing is more reminiscent of the days before Kiev, where they actually cared about their characters. S19 has not been a good year imo, for any of the characters because the writing just hasn’t been that good. 

Long like really long story short, watching Bernie Wolfe has been a riot and something I’ll relive for as long as the youtube’s exist..praise jesus for Nat’s Playlist and if I was laid out on the table, I’d want her to be the one standing over me- and I don’t just mean that in the smutty way, but in the fictional surgeon way. For me there’s no-one better than Bernie Wolfe. The BMAM/ the precious pupper/ the woman that invented legs. I more than like her. 

Sorry this all seems a tad previous, she hasn’t left yet and to be honest she might even still be on the show when I come back to tumblr LOLS, but I’m guessing she won’t be and so preemptively wanted to share some feels. I’m gutted it won’t be in real time and that I’ll miss all the bantz and gifs etc. Being part of this fandom has been SO MUCH FUN omg it’s been brilliant and for the sake of actually focusing on my job and eeek personal life for the next few months, I’m tapping out. I’ll be back and I hope you have continue to have loads of fun, I’m looking forward to seeing all the quality content when I’m back :)

oops edited to add ~ I’ve been given an amazing opportunity with my work and I’m going to Holland tomorrow for placement wheee hence my “I better bloody focus and get off my blog” decision hah! I’m tremendously excited but also shitting a brick™ ..here goes nothing,

Thanks for getting this far if you’re still reading!!

Laura X

I have just realized that there are only four issues that are usually used to summarize Tim and Kon’s Friendship. Batman-Superman #26 (Tim’s eulogy at Kon’s funeral), Teen Titans #37 (cloning Conner, though it started in 34), Adventure Comics #3 which I’ve talked about in length myself (the “I know you and support you” issue) and Red Robin #9 (the hug and gazing at each other’s eyes issues). But besides AC#3 they’re all mostly about Tim, so how about I give you one good “summary” issue of their relationship but for Conner.

Superboy v4 (2011) #7.
In this issue Conner helps Psionic Lad who intercepted a space ship calling for help. Basically Conner ends up being a victim to the lifeform found on the ship which makes him see his worst fear play out as if he was in a virtual reality game. In his case, he “travelled to the future” only to find that he really is Lex’s boy and he ended up destroying the JLA and most of the other heroes only leaving “C-list” ones.

Basically this nightmare could have taken him at any point of this ‘future’ but he ended up in a destroyed Smallville with one of his civilian friends (his cousin, no matter how they try to pass it since she is Lex Luthor’s niece : Lori) being deadly afraid of him (for good reasons, as I said, Conner has killed pretty much every one and everything he loves). Which is when we get this :

Here we see that Conner truly believes that Tim can turn any one into worthy heroes, that’s his level of faith in the guy. He also believes that if anyone can survive him, it’s Tim because he’d have the knowledge (as his bff) and the intelligence to deal with Superboy but also because obviously it didn’t happen all at once which means that the little ‘good’ part that was left in him is what kept Tim from being a direct victim…. at first.
Mostly, as I said, this nightmare could have taken him at any point in time during his killing spree :

He could have found himself at the moment he killed Cassie (while I don’t like the ship and think they were mostly crushes and not actually in love -which is another story- they still cared a great deal about each other and at this point either were together or had just broken up). But he didn’t.

Because his worst fear is the moment he gave up enough good that he tried to kill Tim, that Tim Gave Up on Him. Tim doesn’t give up on Kon. He’s the one person whom Conner trust to keep him from going too far, to stay by his side. But here ? Tim gave up to the point that he doesn’t hesitate to get Conner killed. Tim ! the one person who couldn’t stand Conner’s death.
It also shows how well he understand Tim, again. That he knows Tim can get to the point where he’ll have someone killed if they go too far, as we see in Red Robin #26 which was released 4 months after this issue, but in RR he’s still at the point where he gives himself excuses, where it’s insidious. Here Conner drove Tim to the point where he asks for Conner to be killed without a second thought, without an excuse, directly. Well he still asks for someone else to do it which supposes that maybe Tim can’t bring himself to do it.

And Tim gets killed because of him. Because of his plan.This is Conner’s worst fear. Not just killing everyone he loves. Being responsible for Tim’s death, for Tim’s descent into “coldness” (here’s the guilt for dying on his friends yay), for taking away everyone Tim loved. 

Despite being about Conner’s general fear of his Luthor genes taking over :

[BTW this is Simon, Conner’s best (and pretty much only aside from Lori) civilian friend who apparently goes on to become Conner’s greatest friend and greatest enemy according to the Legion (which I will only accept if this is because his friendship with Tim can’t be put into this simple of a category). He’s pretty much a boy genius. Apparently he’s been helping Conner wipe out everyone.]
So as I was saying, Despite it being about Conner’s general fear of turning into a Luthor, it focused heavily on Tim, on how this change would affect Tim, on how Tim is used to represent the effect on the hero community and the world in general.

Bonus point of this issue : when Psionic Lad tried to reach Kon through his “dream”, his voice took Ma Kent’s form instead of Superman, making Ma Kent the Anti Lex Luthor in Kon’s eyes.