i am Still. very tired and i am sorry i dont have the energy to reply to anything at all right now but @ everyone whos sent me supportive messages i really want to thank you w all my heart and @ everyone who initially blocked me after seein th callout and later sent me a message abt it i want u to know its alright im sure its a mistake anyone could have made and theres no hard feeling alright? i love you all very much and i hope ur day goes well <3
Some of you already know this but, I’m pretty sick at the moment, and it’s got to a point where it’s physically tiring to open social media and chat/scroll. It’s taking me days to write (what feel like, half-hearted) messages. And you beautiful people don’t need that. So I’m signing off till I improve.
A/N: This was requested by three different people (all anon). I hope you all enjoy this! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! I love you all so much! <3 <3
For the past week you had been incredibly stressed. You never gave yourself time to relax. There was no time to relax, or so you thought. Realistically, there was time to relax, but you never did. You wanted to keep going. You were afraid that if you slowed down your thoughts and feelings would catch up to you. The thoughts that stopped you for a whole week only two months ago. It was as if your whole world as going to crash down around you once again.
Sam was always there by your side through it all. He never failed to see the signs that things were getting bad again. Sam saw the way you blocked them out. Sam noticed how you didn’t sleep at night. He could see that it was only a matter of time before you would snap.
Unfortunately, that day happened to be today. After the three of you returned to the bunker, you went straight to your room. Sam and Dean watched you with concerned eyes. Dean thought it was best to let you work it out yourself, but that’s not how Sam felt. Sam kept a reasonable distance behind you as you walked to your room. Sam could hear your sniffles as they echoed off of the hallway walls.
I had to sneak a peak into the schedule before I started to write this down because there was just SO much going on this weekend and I have lost track already. Sensory overload.
Sunday started off for me with another early breakfast and then photo op Bryan and Hugh at 10. With queuing like 30 minutes early and by then the queue had already formed…. I saw the lines later when I went out and it was incredible…. Bryan wore his Firefly sweater (yay!) and Hugh a dark blue shirt, really really nice^^. I wasn’t as nervous as before but still plenty and I walked up to them and told Bryan that I had asked him already, turned to Hugh and asked him to give me bunny ears. We turned to the camera and Hugh made quotation marks around me. Bryan said something along the lines “Noo, that’s not what she wanted, she wanted bunny ears, you made quotation marks” and Hugh was like “Oh right, ok, I can do that as well” and he like concentrated on it? At least that’s what it looks like on the picture. They both grinned at me after and I thanked them and you know they’re both such beautiful human beings…. just inside and outside.
I’m glad that I’ve got the other picture as well where Hugh is smiling so beautifully, because here he seems quite serious (even though he really wasn’t when we took the pic^^). Still, look at that jawline. Guh. I hope he never reads this.
Some time and space afterwards to meet and try to find some people, distribute badges, hug, flail, etc. The usual :). Went early to the main hall to get my seat, 5th row this time. Talk by Ellen and Demore was very nice, a lot of beautiful little moments, with Demore telling us about his daugther, Ellen that she wants another kitty etc etc. Been such a pleasure to have met them. #Scott and Aaron came up and… well they are something else. Shaking with laughter and squealing from the whole hall. They reaaaalllly like to play off each other. And don’t take no prisoners^^.
I ran and got my autograph stuff in the break, because Hughs and Bryans signing was set to directly after Hughs and Bryans talk. I didn’t tweet much this time because I wanted to actually watch them.
All in all it was a bit more serious, the questions were deeper. Bryan said he had wanted to put a cover of “Wouldn’t it be good” on the end of Aperitif back then, but it didn’t work out for some reason…. trying to remember the title, Hugh prodding him to just hum it etc very cute. They answered questions the whole panel, way past time, until they -had- to cut it. Bryan emphasized again that Hugh wrote the last scene with him and is responsible for the last line, “It’s beautiful”.
We all ran and got in line and … you know, I just love that they -both- took their time. I mean, the closing ceremony was delayed by almost 3 hours and apparently Bryan (and Hugh?) went BACK to signing afterwards, but I was happy to wait because I think it’s so much fairer to every attendant that they get the autographs they want and get the chance to say something if they want.
I had several items with me, two for me from each and several for other people who couldn’t be there. Bryan said “Hi, how are you” and I was like “I’m fine, how are you holding up?” and he grinned a moment and said something along the lines of “Just great, thank you”. When the ads were put in front of him I said that one was for Katrina and one for me and he looked up and really at me and was like “oh, of course, I’m sorry” and I was like “Oh, no problem”, feeling incredibly happy. IDK, it is scary AF and at the same time exhilarating that he acutally knows who I am. Because he is just such a genuine beautiful human being. And he said “I have it on my wall” or smthg similar and I grinned and said “I know” ;)). Anyway, I asked him for his life motto for my ad and he stopped and thought for a moment before signing. He wrote “Be kind” and I grinned, tears in my eyes and I said “I try.” Next was the sword sheath and he looked at it, hesitated and I said “it’s from one of the origami heart swords from Primavera” and he was like “omg, yeah..” - hesitating and pointing - “Is that Eddies?” And I was like “yeah” (grinning). He said something like “Oh wow” and signed it, giving it to me with a grin. Last was the beautiful pic drawn by Sophie, and he admired it tremendously, carefully signing it while I held it down for him.
I hesitated a moment after and then looked him straight into the eyes and told him “Thank you for encouraging us”. IDK who of you feel addressed, but I’m tearing up writing this because I feel like he DOES encourage us so much, is always there for us and gives us so much back, in a way that feels so very close to this fandom that’s risen as a counterpoint to the shows darkness. He said “Thank -you- for being encouraged.” And you know, I loved his emphasis and I can’t believe I just nodded yesterday and am -now- sitting here crying but it felt so real. So genuine. So beautiful.
Then Hugh. Right before me someone had the “Bloody Will” calendar signed and boy, he did look through the pics. Yes, more or less all of them. Also the Fannibal before me (responsibel for January?! (Sorry, I forgot your @!!)) gave one to him as a gift. :))
Hugh took the sword sheath first and was like “Oh wow” (or similar) as well and I explained in one sentence and he was like “ohhhhh” and then signed it, handing it to me afterwards with both hands, looking me in the eye and saying: “There, I knighted you.” I…. seriously cannot say how much of my day that made. But a lot. Grinned like an idiot probably. But then when do I not. Anyway, he took the ad prints next and went “Oh, I know these” and I said “Yeah, Katrina and I made it” and he was like “yeah, I know, awesome”. I asked for his life motto as well (if it would fit) and he did that thing he does with his eyebrows when he’s thinking *g* and then looked into space for a moment before writing “There is a time and space for everything” on it.
Oh look, tearing up again, writing about it. Somehow irritated and yet proud I didn’t yesterday, lol. I told him that “It was a pleasure meeting you” and he said “It was a pleasure meeting -you-” (or “being here”? Don’t quite remember, rushing in my ears you know) and I smiled at him and he gave me a grin as well and I was off. His eyes really do take up the colors of his surroundings btw.
I brought my stuff back up into my room, meeting there with @Sirenja-and-the-stag, who stayed over with me that night and then I went down again to find something to eat. Because it was already 6pm by then I decided to order one of the hotels pizzas (12 GBP but indeed quite yummy) after all, heading up with it to the main hall. I left the pizza outside, got seats and went back to it, more or less inhaling it. If you ever want to do this con (and haven’t been yet of course): Do take snacks with you. If you want to “do everything” you can, there is almost no time to eat.
As mentioned before the closing ceremony was almost 3h late… because Bryan (and Hugh) took their time. And I love it. Who cares for waiting when you know they are so dedicated and kind to throw themselves into it like that.
Finally they came all in (minus Bryan) and Hugh told us he was still signing. Bryan arrived a few minutes later, and Sean said a few words to everybody, letting them speak after, respectively. I don’t quite remember it all, but they all praised Bryan for his ingenuity, his genius, being a kind genius (not as “Scott” as Aaron Abrams put it^^) and they said thank you to us, for creating something as beautiful as this fandom.
Bryan said that he knew something special was happening when he read the first time that the fandom called itself “Fannibals” because he said that he recognized the pun of course and Hannibal had been visited by the “pun bun” (if I remember correctly). TBH I don’t remember too much of what he said after, I need to go through the tag myself. Hugh thanked us and emphasized that we are what keeps it alive. Don’t remember much more after that either. Damn^^.
I remember that Sean closed with a surprisingly on point political statement, praising our fandom as an exemplary one, in counterpoint to all the shit happening right now, threatening to undo all the progress we’ve made the last 20 years. I liked it very much and have tweeted him so.
Btw, he spoke to us when we waited and he told us that he is aware of who we want to see at RDC4, but that it just all comes down to scheduling. We’ll just have to cross our fingers.
Btw. I will be there, February 2018. Hope to see you there. *hugs*
This was requested by @abitofayla: Could you do no. 44. “I have loved you since we were 18.” with Lasalle? Please? :D
This was definitely a challenge, but I hope you all love it anyway <3 I hope it inspires people to send in more LaSalle imagine/oneshot requests <3
Word Count: 328
You padded up to LaSalle, who was seated at Pride’s bar. He had a beer in his hand and he was intently staring at the bottle in his hand. You sat down next to the agent, rubbing your hand on his shoulder. When his blue eyes met yours, you could see an instant difference in them.
“Hey Sugar Belle,” LaSalle greeted sweetly, allowing a small smile to unfold on his lips. “Glad ya could join me.” LaSalle rested his arm around your shoulders lazily as he sipped on his beer..
“I knew I’d find you here,” you laughed, shaking your head. “I hope your day went well.”
Bless you kind soul for telling me where to find those chats! Btw you're one of my absolutely favourite people on Tumblr and I love your tags and your posts and I love how you love my favourite boy in MM<3 I wish you all the best:)
Aww, thank you so much! I’m glad to be of service to Zen fans ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I’ll make sure to share all my findings. Since we’re on topic and I happen to be replaying Zen’s route, I’m making a detailed list of all the outgoing call times for his route + Common. Bringing efficiency to stalking
This was requested by an anon: “If the whole world was watching, I’d still dance with you” with Pride
And it came out so much longer than I expected, whooooooooops. I hope you all enjoy it anyway <3 I LOVE This Town by Niall Horan and I suggest you listen to it. That’s where the prompt came from <3
Word Count: 921
(gif belongs to of-badges-and-guns)
You padded into Pride’s bar knowing that it was closed at this hour. Pride’s car was still parked outside so you knew he still had to be here. Tonight was one of those nights where you didn’t want to be alone. Sometimes, all you needed to do was be around Pride; he always made you feel better. Perhaps it was because the two of you felt something for one another? It was unfortunate that neither of you had said a word about it.
You padded over to the jukebox, picking one of the songs. You hoped Pride wouldn’t mind. As the music started to play, you could feel the stress starting to melt away. When you heard footsteps behind you, you quickly spun around on your heels. You felt your heart swell as you saw Pride leaning against his bar and sipping on a beer. He never had to wear anything special; he always seemed to look great in anything he wore.
“Ah would say we’re closed, but you’re already here,” Pride mused, setting his beer down on the counter. He knew there was a reason why you came in when the bar was closed. He didn’t want to probe you with questions as if you were a suspect. You meant more than that to him. He was going to handle this delicately.
HEY everybody, so I wasn’t able to do anything big like I wanted but here’s this picture my friend Neomi-trix drew for me. Thank you all for the follows, I’ll try to keep up blogging but work will slow me down a little. Love you all <3
k but autistic Kara really is beautiful because i'm on the autistic scale and i find Kara to be the most adorable human being on the planet and the idea that i'm not weird and more like Kara is super... nice?
Yes – you’re not weird, you’re super (see the pun I made there? Like Supergirl ;) ), darling. You are perfect and you are absolutely fantastic. Another lovely person on the spectrum actually asked me to write about Kara stimming recently, so I made this – http://archiveofourown.org/works/9122290/chapters/22101560 – I hope you enjoy it! You deserve all the positive representation in the world! Sending you all my love, darling <3 <3 <3
I challenged @ghostofthering to find a clever URL that suits my Atem and if they did I would change over because the dashes in my current URL make it hard to keep up with tags and for my followers to tag things. Therefore in the next couple days I will be retiring Destiny-be-damned and moving over to Duelingdestiny, I can’t believe this damn URL wasn’t taken. So I’m giving everyone a heads up when you see the new URL that it’s just your friendly neighborhood Tiffers and the Atem you all know and love <3
Um I feel like Alex's mom is exactly like my dad. Like I could constantly get all kinds of verbal rage and shame spewed at me, but on Valentine's Day I'd get the "sweetest" card about how great I am. I figured out the BS in that about 10 years before I got to 28, at least.
Motherfucking same. I’m so sorry you’ve experienced that, sweetheart. I am
sending you all my love <3 <3 <3
Okay so I’m gonna take a break from questions and get some sleep. I love all of you and you’re all valid and amazing and PAN FUCKING TASTIC. I’m more than happy to scream angrily about how valid all of you are but alas I am literally falling asleep on my keyboard as I type and wanna lay down.
I’d just like to say thank you for all of the questions because the fact that I’m actually helping people and making people smile just makes me so happy I can’t even explain. Thank you all so much, I love you guys<3