I know it hurts. It hurts that he never told you why. It hurts that he never said goodbye. It hurts that he never tried to talk to you again. It hurts that he lied to you. It hurts that he has moved on already. It hurts to see him with someone else. It just hurts that you are not a part of his life anymore when that’s all you ever wanted to be. It hurts so fucking bad, I know.
1. I just don’t care anymore. I care about you as a person, sure. I always will. But not as my person. 2. I no longer feel butterflies in my stomach when you text me, only apprehension and confusion. 3. Your life no longer impacts me; there is no “us.”
4. I always thought of you as an appendage to me and so when you left instead of sadness it felt more like phantom limb syndrome, but it doesn’t hurt like it used to. 5. I will always miss you a little; I will miss the person I first met and the opportunities we once had. But that was the old you, and I don’t think the old you is coming back. 6. I never fantasized about having your last name next to mine or scribbled it into the margins of my notebook, and maybe that says something about the future we never really had together. 7. Each day I find myself thinking of you less and less and maybe one day I won’t think about you at all. 8. I thought we could be friends; I thought I would need your companionship, but we were never friends and we probably never will be. 9. I finally threw out the pictures of us together. I had been so afraid that if I threw out the pictures I would be throwing out those moments too, but memories aren’t disposable. I will always cherish them, but I don’t need them anymore. 10. The human skin replenishes every 27 days. My mind remembers you, my heart remembers you, but my skin has never met you. It has never felt your hand on it while you laughed at one of my jokes. It has never felt you dig your fingers into my neck when you tried to keep me. I don’t think it ever will, and that’s ok with me.
10 things I wanted to tell you since we broke up
It’s funny. Because we’re not together anymore, and we’re not in love anymore, but every single love song still makes me think of you no matter how long it’s been.
2. I don’t know why my chest still hurts when I think about you but I don’t want to throw up every time I picture you kissing her so let’s call it character development
3. I didn’t know that “forever” implied “forever until you’re too fucking hard to deal with anymore” but I really wish I did
4. I still leave space for you in my bed.”
—The things I tell you in my head while I’m trying to fall asleep