I, I loved you in secret First sight, yeah, we love without reason Oh, 25 years old Oh, how were you to know and
First off the beginning of the song is in the past tense because she is looking back on emotions she previously experienced in the relationship not ones she’s feeling at the time of writing this
Taylor’s only relationship thats been a secret is joe in case anyone had any question who this song is about.
love without reason: when you fall in love you don’t know whyyyy you do, you just did. no reasons. you just did. And ‘first sight’ is throwing back to her sentiments expressed in Gorgeous - she felt something for him right away. Which she has unequivocally said was a song about joe.
25 years old, how were you to know - how did you know at 25 you were going to fall in love with me (joe was 25 and taylor 26 when they started dating)
My, my love had been frozen Deep blue, but you painted me golden Oh, and you held me close Oh, how was I to know what
I could’ve spent forever with your hands in my pockets Picture of your face in an invisible locket
she’s looking back at a time when he was holding her close with his hands in her back pockets. you know when a guy puts his hands in the back pockets of your jeans and you hug. she is saying she couldve stood like that with him forever. She had thought she couldnt love again, that it was dead/frozen (blue) but he brought it to life again, made it shiny and new (golden). Before the fears set in.
face in an invisible locket. She’s not wearing an actual locket w/his face in it but she is holding him and the idea of him close to her heart as if she was. (Sooo again this isnt a calvin song since that locket was actually real)
You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it I had a bad feeling
he told her there was nothing that could stop them from falling in love, their feels were so strong
She was nervous to get into a relationship and fall in love so fast - probably due to the last 2 rs she had.
And darling, you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis
People started talking, putting us through our paces I knew there was no one in the world who could take it I had a bad feeling
she may have had a bad feeling at first but he changed her mind. She thought she would never love again, that her bed was a desert (dried up, infertile, cracked). But he turned it into an oasis. An oasis is a place in the middle of a desert where there is water and fertile land. He showed her she could still love and be loved.
But then ….”people started talking putting us through our paces” is a key line. Remember she’s already said she’s loving this man in secret. Remember the plane info being spread online at halloween. About why did taylor go to london. Remember the articles about ‘where is taylor’. Remember perez posting that she’s secretly in london later in early ‘17. imagine you are taylor, a highly visible and recognizable person and you are hiding from the world but not only that, a huge secret. a relationship. Thats a big burden on both your shoulders. if people are talking about where taylor is, what is she doing, that can be nervewracking. is she going to get caught? will they get found out ? ‘putting us through the paces’ things got complicated for them.
‘knew no one in the world who could take it / i had a bad feeling’ think back to the many articles where she’s thought that no one could handle her fame or the media if they got caught. where she worried that it would get to be too much. that the media would inevitably crush what she had. She is saying that she started to worry that the same thing was going to happen again. That they were gonna get caught and the media will ruin it. AGain this cannot be tom nor calvin becasue the media was well aware of both those relationships, no secrets.
But we were dancing Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied Yeah, we were dancing Like it was the first time, first time Yeah, we were dancing Dancing with our hands tied, hands tied Yeah, we were dancing And I had a bad feeling But we were dancing
She’s still looking back at when they were scared of getting caught. They were enjoying their time together, being close. Metaphorically dancing. Enjoying the feeling of being together was great and still felt fresh and new - like your first dance is. Still exhilarating. But they were sort of prisoners to their situation. Their hands were tied. They couldnt do everything they wanted, bc they were a big secret. Their hands were tied. they couldnt go out in public freely. She was worried they were gonna get caught hence the “bad feeling” but they persevered; they were dancing. They were still enjoying themselves despite feeling like prisoners of their own situation.
This is key because she wasnt in this situation with any of her previous boyfriends, worried about getting caught.
I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us So, baby, can we dance Oh, through an avalanche? And say, say that we got it I’m a mess, but I’m the mess that you wanted Oh, ‘cause it’s gravity Oh, keeping you with me
“i loved you in spite of deep fears the world would divide us” – throughout all the fears she had felt, she loved him, despite being so worried about something tearing them apart. again going back to worrying that when/if they got found out that the media and everyone would try to tear their rs apart, ruin it, force them apart, literally. She is talking about the future here. hence future tense “would”.
Can we dance through an avalanche? can we stay happy and together through a massive shitstorm? ie. our secret rs getting found out? can we say that we got this, that we’ll be okay? Can we do this?
i’m a mess but the mess you wanted - she was definitely a mess going into this rs; this goes back to what she talks about in Delicate - that he likes her for her. Mess and all. And a mess about getting found out. But she’s his beautiful mess.
cause its gravity / keeping you with me - callback to the magnetic field she refers to in Gorgeous. which again was about joe. she might be a mess, but there is something bonding them together that they can’t control. You can’t control gravity. Gravity just exists. This force was keeping "you with me”
[…] I’d kiss you as the lights went out Swaying as the room burned down I’d hold you as the water rushes in If I could dance with you again I’d kiss you as the lights went out Swaying as the room burned down I’d hold you as the water rushes in If I could dance with you again
Now Taylor is looking to the future again and switches tenses.
She’s saying…If their relationship gets ruined by the media, (this is future tense now, the “I’d” - which is impt to note) she’ll kiss him til the very end, as the lights go out (metaphor). She’ll sway with him dancing as everything burned around them and it was turned to ashes, she’s going to hold on to him. if the floods come in and people try to drown them, she would hold on to him. She doesnt want to give this relationship up if they have to face a storm, she’s gonna hold on to him through anything. if any of these disasters happened (electricity went out, avalanche, flood, fire) …she would want one more dance, one more minute, she would stay with him through any of that.
So now she has changed, she’s saying if these things happen….i’d hold you, i’d kiss you, i’d stay by your side if it means i can still dance with you again. if i can still be with you. She’s now gotten to a place in the story where she is saying she’ll be by his side, no matter what they face. She thinks they can make it through and she is saying she isnt going anywhere.
The dancing while maybe stemming from something literal, is mainly a metaphor for being together.
⚡️ “Howl to the moon, to the stars, when the weight of the world… Is just too much for you.” ⚡️
mY SATURDAY WAS SPENT DRAWING OUT SOME DETAILS OF A H ORRIFYING OBSESSION
ALL BECAUSE MY LOVELY AMAZING WONDERFUL TALENTED KIND FRIEND @immaplatypus sHOWED ME “HOWL” BY THE FAMILY CREST
BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING HEMLOCK “SCUM OF THE EARTH” CRUENTO WOULD SAY TO LYRA
AND I THOUGH T SHE WAS SO SO SO RIGHT AND THEN THIS HAPPENED!!!!!! @welcome-to-abnesia iT TOOK FOREV E R BUT IT IS D ONE OMG G G G G G G