I found it funny and terrible. And yeah, heartbreaking.” she laughed bitterly. “How can I keep on saying yes, even if I wanted to say no. How I keep on believing in so many lies even if all I wanted was to know every little bit of the truth. Maybe because I know it would hurt me so bad. To see things far from what I wanted them to be. To hear the words that would bring me back to every pain I’m always avoiding—to feel. It hurts like hell. And I am so tired of pretending that it was okay.” she looked down and finally said, “And if I continue this, it would just tear me in the end. I just realized that I deserve to say no.” she sighed showing that she’s exhausted, then she softly said, “And this time, I’ll choose to say no.
Comedian Sarah Silverman confronted one aspect of the wave of sexual abuse and misconduct revelations that have come out in recent weeks: the anguish when the perpetrator is a friend.
“I wish I could sit this one out,” she says in a monologue for her Hulu show I Love You, America. “But then I remembered something I said on this very show: that if it’s mentionable, it’s manageable. So I’m going to address the elephant masturbating in the room.”
She means, of course, the comedian Louis C.K., one of Silverman’s best friends for more than 25 years.
“This recent calling out of sexual assault has been a long time coming,” she says in the episode that aired Thursday night. “It’s good. It’s like cutting out tumors — it’s messy and it’s complicated and it is gonna hurt, but it’s necessary and we’ll all be healthier for it.”
“It sucks, and some of our heroes will be taken down and we will discover bad things about people we like, or in some cases, people we love.”
Multiple female comics have accused C.K. of sexual misconduct, including masturbating in front of them. Last week, C.K. admitted that “the stories are true,” after previously declining to comment on the rumors about him. One of the women told The New York Times that for years afterward, she felt angry and betrayed, and the interaction was a factor in her deciding not pursue comedy.