This has nothing to do w/ anything and I know people have talked about it before BUT I want to as well. Usually my metas tend to be angsty af and then end on a hopeful note, and this will probably be no exception. But anyway, a delve into Victor’s love of fairytales!
I can recall on 2 occasions Victor specifically comparing Yuuri to a fairytale.
Which may not seem like a lot but we have 12 episodes and if something is pointed out twice in a story, it has some amount of significance. Anyway, I just think it’s so damn cute that Victor considers Yuuri prince-like. Even the visuals and story of On Love: Eros is like a fairytale!
We go on about how extra Victor is (and he 200% is…that 50s pink cadillac tho) but I wanna here more about how much of a true romantic Victor is.
This entire thing is like an hc-palooza courtesy of me. Here we go!
I like to think of a little Victor, watching all these fairytale movies–Disney or otherwise–and dreaming of one day finding a prince of his own.
A 12 year old Victor with his first real crush, staring at a pretty boy with darker hair and kind eyes in one of his classes or at the rink. Victor thought he had found his prince, until one day the affection faded and his mind focused on other things.
A teenage Victor, going through various relationships like others would go through clothing. He’s a busy young man after all, and no one seems to want to look beyond the Victor Nikiforov on screen, one the ice, and actually date him. Victor starts to wonder if there is a prince out there for him.
Victor as a young adult, still a romantic at heart, but has pretty much entirely lost hope on finding his true love. No one sticks around, and he hasn’t found anyone he cares deeply enough about to chase. Victor’s lonely, to put it simply. He sits up at night sometimes, and watches all those fairytales from when he was a child. Victor smiles sadly at the end of them all, and dreams of a prince of his own.
And Victor in his late 20s, as we see him pre-series. He’s frosted with depression and loneliness; the never-ending cold discs of metal, the isolation from other skaters, people kissing up to him left and right. Everything is predictable. He’s running out of motivation, out of ideas. Victor knows people only want him as what they see when he performs. It’s a saddening thought, that Victor is not lovable as himself. Some people were not meant to find a true love, he supposes.
Until one night, a night we all know well.
The Sochi GPF banquet. Victor is intrigued by this attractive man flitting through the room, clearly intoxicated, but with this charming energy no one can resist. Not even Yuri Plisestky, himself pulled into a dance with Japan’s Yuuri Katsuki.
Victor manages to escape from his sponsors to laugh and point and take pictures from the sidelines. Yuuri whirls past him and the way the light shines on his hair and eyes makes Victor’s breath catch and his heart skip.
Victor watches as Yuuri dances with Chris–and wow, is that a show and a half. Yuuri strides over to Victor and holds him in place, hips shaking and Victor can only stare on in wonder. This beautiful, energetic, charming young man is staring up at him, like he’s the only person in the room. Victor can’t understand Japanese, but that doesn’t matter–what matters is the warmth of Yuuri’s body, the sparkle of his eyes, and the earnestly fond tone he speaks with. Victor’s heart is beating out of his chest and he can’t imagine this moment getting better until-
Be my coach, Victor!
Victor’s face flushes with a little gasp and he can’t find it in himself to refuse the request or the next dance they share together.
As Victor laughs spins and smiles like he hasn’t since child, looking at Yuuri all the while, he can feel it in his chest.
A prince. A prince is with him!
And oh, when Yuuri dips him low, the lights above framing his face and hair like a halo, Victor knows that his prince has finally come for him.
Do you know what I will always be bitter about from the waste that was TW?
That in order to give us cheap escalating horror and tragedy, they never let us saw the smallest things about the day to day life in the Pack.
Like what waitresses think when they see this mismatch group of beautiful people cram into the booth of their dinner at 3AM, clothes half torn up and smiling like crazy people. Do they think they are a kinky sex club? Do they think they are actors in a horror movie on a break? Do they just don’t bat an eye because they have seen so much worse (and they are polite and give good tips?)
Or what shopping is life as a werewolf. Are you able to smell if a fruit is ripe? are there security footage of Derek helping an old lady chose the right watermelon somewhere?
Where is my boy scout type moment, with Derek trying to teach as many things as he can about surviving into the woods? Where is my “don’t fuck with boar. Seriously don’t do it. You are a werewolf but they are boars, if you see one just climb a tree for fuck sake, don’t be a hero”. Where is my Scott and Jackson fighting about a type a moss and what it means.
Where are my “craming for exams” night, with lot of junk food, Lydia looking vaguely condescendant, and Derek not understanding why they are highschoolers spilled all over his floor? (but looking secretly pleased about it)
Or the pack reaction the first time they saw Derek hale in a suit (because damn). Lydia would sigh happily (because she totally chose the suit and she’s the best), Erica would stay silent and poker face and take so much pictures with her phone it’s basically a movie, Jackson would grumble something, kira would be all excited, etc…
(Stiles would totally screech and nope right out of the door in self defense, let’s be honest)
I just… I miss the little things that would have been (even if it made me love the fandom that much more)
The Young Victoria (Queen Victoria & Prince Albert)
“Victoria and Albert were a very real, lively young couple and he had a lot of ambition. Had he not married Victoria, he would have been king of his country, and I think that his drive coupled with her ambition and forcefulness inevitably would lead to a clash. What was extraordinary about it is that every time they did have arguments – and they argued a hell of a lot – they did make up, and I think it made them stronger. They didn’t give up, and I was inspired by that. I didn’t realize that theirs was a genuine love story; that they were a team, they ruled together. They had a family together. It wasn’t a cold, ‘You father my children and then go sit in the study’. They did everything together. They were never apart for a day and I hadn’t realized quite why she was still wearing black at 80. It was just that. She’d had half of her soul ripped away from her when he died.” Rupert Friend
rhodey is the cutest person i can’t believe this,,, saying “boom” when something goes his way…Dad Jokes™… being So Into Being War Machine oh my god literally every one-liner rhodey has is life-changing i can’t believe how good he is??? “welcome to the dance floor, boys. oh no, i didn’t say you could leave” “I think it’s weird. you look like two seals fighting over a grape” “you look damn good mr president but i’m gonna need that suit back” WAR MACHINE,,,COMIN AT U,,, “no, it’s your fault, I just wanted to say I’m sorry”
he adapts so quickly to ridiculous situations he’s brave and resilient and selfless and incredible and his password is WARMACHINEROX with an x all caps what a giant dork i love him @ marvel where the fuck is my war machine movie
-LOGAN WAS SO FUCKING GOOD HOLY FUCK
-never in a million years did i think i would cry so many times during an xmen ~related~ film but bitch!!!
-this movie came after me so many times i am shook
-this was such an emotional experience
-it was so packed too i usually go on discount days but i had to see this and wow literally not a seat left open!!!
-first movie from the franchise to be rated r and damn!!! It really needed it, i can’t imagine the film being pg 13
-i really loved the r rating… the gore the cussing the darker and more mature tone was something i didn’t think i needed til i saw this film
-the darker tone made it so much more intense and made logan feel more human
-fight/action scenes were all pure gratuitous fun i enjoyed all of it
-laura is adorable and shes a bad bitch my daughter will be like that!!! like wow this girl got paid to deadass be silent for half the movie but when she talked i was shook af
-and the nurse gabriella being aleida from oitnb like hey girll!!
-the banter between professor x and logan ugh and when logan called charles his dad
-this side of wolverine/ logan was so raw and sad.
-he def was not the mutant hero ive grown up watching but that was also the refreshing part bc it made it seem more realistic to me
-heartbreaking to watch someone spiral downward especially with the drinking and self hatred and the suicidal thoughts ugh
-laura is a mini wolverine but gonna grow to be so much stronger i love her every time she fucked someone up i was screaming YAAS
-finding out shes his daughter ugh i knew it bur dang!!
-honestly pierce the bad guy was sexy af i was having dirty thoughts while hating him at the same time
-i’m not a box of avocados logan
-logan is really so broken and traumatized inside
-charles telling logan that this is what its like to be normal before he left with that mans to fix the water or whatever
-and its sad to see charles so weak and sick and trapped in his mind and broken as well after what he did in westchester
-losing control is so awful and seeing someone who was once so great be at this point hurts
-THIS FILM WAS AFTER ME YALL I WAS SO ATTACKED
-when charles woke up in that familys house and was talking about how he remembered things and that it was the best night of his life but he didnt deserve it I WAS CRYING
-then i was like OMFG LOGAN IS ABOUT TO KILL HIM??? Turns out it was his fuckass clone mutant but i was still shook
-hugh jackman is a daddy he can still get it
-logan coping with charles was so sad this father son relationship rly fucked me up it was so cute when they were joking abt the past at academy during dinner
-laura gives me life!!! W her docs and cute ass outfit in sunglasses but she still vicious yas queen
-her relationship w charles was so beautiful too
-her driving!!! Aha and finally speaking that was a funny cute lil scene i was expecting her to be a little sassier but that wouldnt fit the tone of the movie so its all good
-all the cute lil mutant kids!!!! omfg so adorable its really fcked up what they were doing at transigen i was heated ugh
-they were so sweet helping him and ugh the scenes just between logan and laura rlly fucked me up like when she held his hand after he buried charles…
-my god the development of these relationships really messed me up!!!
-honestly his self loathing and pity party was getting a little annoying and the whole im no good for you act etc etc but i understand i guess
-telling laura she and her friends reminded him of the xmen RIP
-“people hurt me” “were different i hurt people”
-ugh i literally love them so much when he told her he was gonna shoot himself w that bullet then she took it from him wow cryin
-him being like u dont need me everyone i care about gets hurt or killed then she roasted him with the “THEN I GUESS ILL BE FINE” like damn girl
-ugh him coming to the rescue and taking the green stuff ugh i just knew this wouldnt end well but the fight scenes and seeing some of the kids use their powers was nice
-also enjoyed all the bad guys gettjng absolutely destroyed
-literally FUCK clone logan so hard she was really goin at him but i knew logans fate was inevitable since it was hughs last hoorah but wow
-SOBBING HES LITERALLY IMPALED ON THAT FUCKING TREE DYING ANS SHES CUTTING THE TREE AND REALIZES SHE CANT SAVE HIM
-SHE LITERALLY LOST EVERY ADULT WHO CARED FOR HER “dont be what they made you”
-i was in fucking puddles then she held his hand and called him fucking daddy!!!! THAT RUINED ME WHEN SHE ACKNOWLEDGE HE WAS HER FATHER HOLY FRICK
-“so this is what it feels like” logans last words realizing what its like to care for someone again/what it feels like to die omg laura crying made me cry
-then her speech after she buried him!!! THEN SHE WENT AND TURNED THE CROSS TO AN X AND I FELT APART OF MY SOUL DIE LIKE KNOWING EVERYONE IN THAT UNIVERSE FROM THE XMEN WERE DEAD. IT HIT ME SO HARD
-the end. thank u for sticking w me if u read this whole thing talk to me about it im emotionally unstable
-idk i prob left some stuff out but this is a lot already im lowkey so sad rn
-i cant wait for the next xmen movie with the other cast i need more this was all my childhood upto now i need it all please
So I’m watching the first Iron Man movie and I’m just thinking that no one really acknowledges how freaking bad Tony’s PTSD must be.
Like okay so he was in a truck that got blown up, he almost died bc of that, he got taken hostage and was kept there for 3 months and was forced to build the suit to get out alive, while he was building it he had a car battery hooked up to his chest keeping him alive, and in the scene where they show his surgery he was awake a lot so that’s pretty damn traumatic, he wore the suit and fought his way out of there, watched his friend die, crashed in the desert, found out his friend paid to have him killed and then tried to kill him himself.
I mean, this guy, I swear. I love him so much.
So I watched Iron Man 3 and I have more to add.
So people with PTSD need a support system. This movie is after New York and everything else that happened in Iron Man 1 & 2, which is a lot of trauma for one person to go through. New York was bad for Tony, he almost died flying that thing into space. He is so very obviously in pain in this movie but Pepper is so blind to it!
He blatantly told her that he is having a hard time coping and her response was “I’m gonna take a shower, and you’re coming with me”. He just told her that he can’t sleep and that he’s different after the New York battle. But she didn’t care. She didn’t take him seriously.
And then when he had a nightmare and ACCIDENTALLY called the suit in his sleep and it grabbed her so she freaked out and left him alone to sleep downstairs because she was mad. Yes, that is a scary experience, the suit grabbing her like that but Tony apologized, he didn’t do it on purpose. It’s not like he asked for the suit to attack her. He was having a nightmare about all of the trauma he has gone through and the suit perceived her as a threat because she was there and shaking him. He didn’t mean to do it. He loved her.
He literally chose to put the suit on her to protect her over himself.
She was so insensitive to his pain and he deserves and needs so much better.
God Damn it - why doesn’t Sam Wilson get more love? He’s important and I’m gonna keep saying it ‘til you all hear me.
Did you know/reasons Sam is awesome:
He was the first black superhero who didn’t have “Black” in his title
He was born in Harlem and was a social worker before he became a superhero (There is no other backstory for him and there NEVER was, okay?)
He’s funny, smart, and superhot (comics and movies)!
He can not only communicate with birds but has a telepathic link and can see through their eyes! His pet/sidekick is a Falcon named Redwing and he is badass.
Sam can fly! T’Challa made his original flying harness using advanced Wakandan tech. Marvel: He is one of the “best aerial fighters in the world exceeding the skill of other flyers such as Iron Man and Ms. Marvel.” And he’s also a master of martial arts!
He and Steve were roomies - with twin beds! (It’s true, you can look it up).
He was the first one (!!) to join with Cap against the Superhero Registration Act, and working right along side Cap, helped lead the Secret Avengers.
When Tony Stark couldn’t continue giving Steve Rogers’ eulogy, Sam took over and was so goddamned munificent, eloquent, and moving that it brought the divided superhero community (Civil War you know) together. Grown men wept and I’m not just talking about in the comics.
He’s his own Captain America, kicks ass, takes names, and stands in no one’s shadow.
When bigots bitched about him picking up the shield, he said this: “I’m Captain America - deal with it!” The “bitches” was understood. :-D
me: *writes another meta about victor fucking immediately*
I’ve been on a hell of a writing kick lately so here we are. I addressed this sort of in my last post about Victor, but I REALLY want to give it it’s own post so without further ado, let’s get into this.
The topic today is self-worth. Or, how Victor’s and Yuuri’s concept of themselves is the same yet drastically different.
Yuuri is incredibly easy to address because his expression of anxiety and self doubt is incredibly stark. Also, we get to be privy to his thoughts more than any other character’s, so pretty much everything that directly bothers him we already know about. Yuuri is a perfectionist, he doubts his choices, his abilities, his worth (not just as a skater but as a person), I think he believes himself to be plain and not particularly attractive, but that’s more speculation on my part based on his chronic anxiety. It’s an Anxiety Thing™.
(If you’d like to see more extensive thoughts and evidence about Yuuri’s anxiety, I wrote a thing here to backup my statements)
Yuuri is also rather expressive, while Victor just, isn’t really.
Sure, he’s goofy and bubbly, but he hides behind walls of pleasantness and restraint. I’m sure it has to do with media training, considering how long Victor has been in the public eye.
What I mean to say here is that Yuuri and Victor experience two different facets of self doubt. Yuuri can’t recognize his abilities, doesn’t believe in his own potential, can’t accept his achievements, etc etc. But I think Victor can do all those things. Victor knows his skills, he knows he’s essentially the best around, he knows he’s attractive and sought after. Victor knows this and can accept it. Victor’s biggest issue is his belief that if he doesn’t keep up a mask, he’s unlovable.
I think it’s been implied that Victor isn’t close to many people at all. When the video of Yuuri skating his routine went up, Victor seemed to easily jump on the next plane to Japan. He had no qualms and was clearly excited to leave. It’s been suggested in multiple fics (one off the top of my head being pt3 of Even Ice Gods Can Melt…what a fucking amazing little series, please go read it) that the only things in Russia Victor felt truly attached to were Yakov and Makkachin and Victor took Makkachin with him…
He interacts with several people in the skating community friendly enough (Stephane in ep12, those 3 girls in Russia Jackets in ep4), but the only person he seems to be friends with is Chris. They seem to know each other well and clearly get along wonderfully.
We don’t really see Victor interact closely with others other than Yuuri, Yuri, and Yakov. Yakov seems to be a father figure while I think Victor views Yuri as sort of a younger brother. However, he still runs out of the country, essentially forgetting about Yuri, so there you go.
Right, so. Victor isn’t close to many people. Humans are social animals, we need to have frequent, positive interaction with others to maintain mental–and, subsequently, physical–health. If you don’t get these interactions, it’s easy to form misconceptions about yourself. Such as, if I can’t get close to or speak to others, there must be something wrong with me, right? Or, no one knows what I’m actually like, and that’s probably for the better.
Both Yuuri and Victor struggle with the idea of love and support. Yuuri, as he says in ep5, couldn’t feel the love and support around him for a very long time. Victor, as he says in ep12, felt that he had to work completely alone to advance himself. I think this implies that Victor deliberately pushed people away by keeping up this pleasant mask and never allowing them to see in any deeper.
Yuuri’s distancing is incredibly physical (actually avoiding people, literal pushing, curling up, etc.) while Victor’s is more emotional (he doesn’t physically avoid but exclusively emotionally walls off).
I keep coming back to this mask of publicity pleasantness. It’s what got me thinking about this idea in the first place. In that Victor meta I linked to up there, I talked a bit about the beach scene, among other things. Victor names off a ton of options to gage what Yuuri wants him to be. It doesn’t occur to Victor to be himself until Yuuri asks him to. It doesn’t occur to Victor that he could be desired as himself.
He has this media image that people are accustomed to: handsome, elegant, playboy, pleasant, a gentleman, etc. This is what Victor is liked for. He probably hasn’t dropped that persona–at least for an extensive amount of time–in front of others for a very long time. It occurs to Victor to be whatever Yuuri would like, and it doesn’t cross his mind that Yuuri just likes him.
I love Victor and his character arc so damn much. Really looking forward to this movie–whenever it’s coming out–to see if they look further into this insecure side of Victor.
(I feel like this post is just me rehashing stuff but like I really adore how Victor is written and idk how to shut up)