my two pieces for the @thirdgymzine! i love purikura but everyone else hates me because my usual deco technique is to find the most ridiculous stickers possible and obnoxiously spam them as much as i can within the time limit
Collapsed in the hallway because my friend wasn't paying enough attention to me, spent hundreds of dollars on a gift for same friend, and pissed off a bunch of my other friends by declaring said friend as my favorite
Accidentally kicked one of my friends in the head, then laughing when she got pissed
Woke my mom up at 2am because of all the racket I was making in the kitchen while stress baking cookies
Showing my friends photos of my boobs because "don't they look so good in this photo?" and getting the response "your boobs are fantastic"
Keeping a folder of all the ugly selfies my best friend has ever sent me to give to her future boyfriend
Picked up friend and ran to PE because "your legs are too short to keep up with mine, either buy roller skates and hold onto my sleeve or let me carry you, we don't have all day"
Sent my girlfriend at the time 500 seconds of snapchats in under 10 minutes before she woke up and then continued to send more after she woke up
Gave an hour long lecture to one of my best friends who I consider to be family on gender roles and why I generally dislike men who aren't fictional that some how turned into me listing reasons why girls are beautiful and I Love them
Have given the same two pieces of dating advice to one of my friends for years, "dump him" or "give me your phone, I'm going to fight him"
Hugged one of my best friends for over an hour, actually it was closer to two, I only let go when I fell asleep
Talked for a full hour about how hot I am to one of my friends and then after a few minutes of silence, whispered "oh god, I really hate myself" and then curled up into a ball and cried
Consistently terrifies friends with shrieking flying tackle hugs from behind, screams of terror usually ensue
Robotically wrote the Bee Movie Script on the classroom board when we had a sub, "Do you have work you are supposed to be doing?" "Yes." "Is this it?" "No, do you have any more questions?" "I- uh, no, I guess not."
Texted someone that if they messed with my best friend I would brutally murder them and then followed up with blushing emojis and flower emojis
Listened to the same song on repeat 12 hours a day, for over a week, until I could hear the song playing in my dreams
Bonus, Coaches + Teachers:
Some how became the mom friend despite the fact that I can't even take care of myself, "I swear to god if you skip physics oNE MORE TIME", "Do your homework, I know where you sleep", "Oh for fuck's sake, come over to my house, I'm not going to listen to you bitch for weeks because you didn't want to disinfect your cuts"
Was running a high fever during my physics final to the point where I was fading in and out of consciousness, and aced it
Developed a reputation for having terrifying kicks after I realized that the men in my karate class couldn't hold back their punches if they were too busy avoiding getting nailed in the balls
Refused to stop smiling and laughing for a full day, actually got kicked out of class because I laughed so much
Michael regrets the words when he sees Jeremy’s shoulders tense up, his whole body going rigid. “Shit, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“No, I–” Jeremy swerves around to face his best friend, blinking owlishly. “I’m fine. Sorry.”
Michael studies him closely. He seems fine, but the blue of his eyes is a bit duller than usual–an airy blue adulterated with gray, like a sky anticipating a rainstorm. It’s a little concerning. His eyes only look like that when he’s sad. Or tired.
“Are you okay?”
Jeremy blinks, clearly startled by the question. “What? Yeah. I’m–good. I’m great.” He smiles–thank god it’s a genuine smile–and Michael relaxes just a little.