A paradox: If it’s true that ‘friends are the commodity by which we should all be judged’, I’m a living contradiction because I am surrounded by genuinely kind, lovely, incredible people, so therefore according to this theory I’m a goddamn gem, and yet these people are all too good for me. It is their virtue and natural generosity that makes them tolerate my lesser presence. So while their value and worth defines my own, this system is not at all indicative of a natural correlation of character? Or am I somehow overthinking this? Does the quality of my chosen neighbors reflect on my own quality, or am I merely a fortunate fellow blessed with friends of the highest caliber through no merit of my own? Should I trust that their judgement deems me worthy, or chalk it down to the naïveté of the considerate and compassionate? I know which answer I naturally gravitate towards, and yet verbally expressing this view irritates my friends. Understandably so, because it’s admittedly both patronizing and quite unhealthily self-depreciating. It’s probably wise to just keep my trap shut and appreciate what I’ve got without doubting its veracity every other second. What good is it to have something nice in your life if you waste all your time with it wondering whether you deserve it or not? Especially if the nice thing is nice people. Human relationships are finite. There is such a thing as too much introspection, after all. It turns circular. And that shit eats you alive. So if our perception is truly what defines things, for the moment I choose to put aside the question of whether or not I’m worthy of the people in my life, and use my energy in better, more productive ways: in showing my appreciation, giving back as much as I can in the ways I know how, and trying my hardest to live up to their example and standard. After all, my friends would want me to be kind to myself. Who am I to deny them?
hey viria i was just wondering..... maybe you might've answered this before.... but how did sasha and you first meet and got into, you know, love? im really curious (i've never fallen in love before!!) and what was your experience like? im sorry if it's too personal, but.... you were the reason i started tumblr, because i wanted to reblog your arts! i feel so happy for you!