I know that I truly love her because she hurt me on a whole another level and I still love her. I have a right to be mad at her, but I’m not. I “should be” speaking poorly of her, but I’m not, I only speak positively about her. I could have flipped out on her, but I didn’t, I don’t want to, I see no need to. I could be the most bitter thing towards her, but I’m not, I don’t want to be, I let her go knowing that I love her and I always will, she will always have someone to turn to. I could have left her before she got the chance to leave me, but I didn’t, I gave her the decision, because if it was up to me we would be in each other’s lives forever. I want her to be free, I want her to be happy, I want her to know that she matters, I want her to know she is so dearly loved, I want her to know she is so incredibly unique and special, I want her to know I will always love her, I want her to know that my arms will always be wide open for her, I want her to know that I have yet to find anything that compares to her, I want her to know that she is so valued, I want her to know that there will always be a spark of love in my heart for her, I want her to know that I love all of her, even though I don’t know every single detail of her life, I see who she is because of it, she is strong and beautiful and so gentile and she has been hurt, I can see those parts of her and I love her. I don’t only love her because she is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, I loved her because she was raw, she had such spark about certain things, she understood, she listened, she was patient, she had a way with words, she could make me melt in a single sentence, she worked so hard, she made me feel like I mattered to someone, to at least her and that is all I needed in life, she gave purpose to life, she saw the beauty of things and the sad side of things, her mind took a while to learn, but once I got a drift of how it worked I fell in love, she has so much genuine love for her pets, she was true, she was the definition of cuteness, she was such a goofball, she had sass, she changed me, she made me happy, she made me smile, she made me cry, she made me sad. She was the only person I let my walls down for. I gave her my heart and forever I think she will have it, maybe one day it won’t be all of it, but she will always have the majority of it. I wanted to know all of her. I wanted to know her full story of life. I wanted to know why she is the person she is, I wanted to understand her in a way that no one had before, I wanted to be the one for her, I wanted to know all major events of her life, all the little ones too, I wanted to know the little things that she loved, the tiny facts that no one pays attention to, I wanted to truly know her, I wanted to feel her pain and joy, I wanted to know her favorite memories and her least favorite, I wanted to know her favorite thing about herself, I wanted to know her least favorite thing about herself. I wanted her to know I would love her no matter what. I wanted to spoil her, I wanted to take her on dates, I wanted to love her in her best and worst moments, I wanted to take her places, I wanted to finish that game of 20 questions, I wanted to love her through every mood and phase, I wanted to take her to the movies and leave not even knowing what the movie was about, I wanted to hold her hand, I wanted to give her my jacket when she got cold, I wanted to hug her, I wanted to kiss her forehead just because I could, I wanted to stare into her beautiful eyes and just think “wow”, I wanted to take her out to dinner, I wanted to stargaze with her by my side, I wanted to give her a massage after a long day at work, I wanted to dance in the rain with her, I wanted to hold her at night when she got frightened because of a nightmare, I wanted to fall asleep next to her, I wanted to wake up next to her, I wanted to see her do something she loved and watch how she would light up, I wanted to go on deep conversation walks, I wanted to be with her, I just wanted to be in her presence, I wanted to do that cute little run hug thing and then fall on our butts because it’s not a movie, I wanted to show her everything, I wanted to take her to New York City and Paris, I wanted to love her forever, I wanted to wake up every day just feeling so happy because I got to be with my love, I wanted to take her to that place she dreamed about, where we could love each other endlessly, where we could be ourselves without worries, where we would shiver from closeness, where nothing would stand in our way, where it would be every thing that she dreamed of and so much more, I want to take her there and be with her. I wanted to fall asleep listening to her voice, I wanted to show up at her work and order breakfast, only paying in change, because I know it annoys the crap out of her, I wanted to look at her, I mean just look at her, take in her beauty, I wanted to know every scar on her body and where it came from, I wanted to give her some of my own clothes, so that she would think of me every time she wore them, I wanted to buy her everything that her little heart desired, I wanted to give my little girl a kiss whenever she was down, I wanted to be a brat whenever she would try to kiss me and turn my head so that she would end up kissing my cheek, then she would get upset and she would make me kiss her, I wanted to tell her all of my useless knowledge, I wanted to tell her all of my stupid thoughts and ideas, I wanted to horribly sing love songs to her, I wanted her to meet my puppy, I wanted to meet her little bunny, I wanted to do all stupid cheesy sappy stuff with her, I wanted to teach her how to play soccer, I wanted to watch the sunset with her, I wanted to wake up early and see the sunrise with her, I wanted to enjoy her favorite month (October) together, I wanted to tackle her into a pile of leaves and then run away from her chasing me trying to tackle me, I wanted to carve a pumpkin with her, I wanted to just sit with her watching the leaves fall, enjoying the silence that we rarely ever have, I wanted to wake up extra early to make her breakfast, I wanted to get all bundled up with her go to the beach and watch the way the waves crash onto the shore, and see how the fall waves differ from the summer time waves, I wanted to catch lightning bugs with her and then let them go because we want them to be free, I wanted to take her to Starbucks and get the cliche seasonal drinks, I wanted to go through a flipping corn maze holding her hand, and I wanted to get lost doing so because we were being such morons, I wanted to watch her kick ass on the court, I wanted to kiss her in the moonlight on a night time fall walk, because I can’t resist kissing my little cutie, I wanted to be with her while the seasons changed and we had to deal with the terrible winters that we get up here, I wanted to play in the snow with her, because we truly are children at heart, I wanted to tackle her into pile of snow and again have to run away from her chasing me, I wanted to catch snow flakes on our tongues, I wanted to have snowball fights with her, I wanted to go ice skating for my first time with her, and you know of course fall on my ass and have her laugh at me, I wanted to go around looking at Christmas lights with her, and a cup of hot chocolate of course, then I wanted to kiss her when the ball drops and we start a New Year, after that I wanted to give her the absolute best birthday and birthday present ever, whatever that would have been, I would have made it happen. I wanted her to be my cheesy valentine I wanted to buy her a teddy bear and all of that stuff, I wanted to take her out on a ton of dates, whether that be dinner, a movie, stargazing, napping, breakfast, watching the sunset, dancing at 4 in the morning, watching the sun rise, cuddling, going to a carnival, or anything really. I wanted to get to know her in a way that I have never known anyone else before, I wanted to know all about her, I wanted to know all of her thoughts, I wanted to know all of her ideas, I wanted to bring her flowers, I wanted to give her everything, I wanted to be there when she gets sick so that I could give her soup and medicine and make sure that she rests and gets better, I wanted to be there when she gets a tummy ache and just needs to relax, I wanted to do all of this and soooooo much more. She will always be my 11:11 wish, my birthday wish, and my wish upon a star. I truly do think that I love her, I can’t say for sure because love never really was my forte. I believe that I am, because if I’m not in love with her, then what the hell does actually falling in love feel like?!?! Like that must be some crazy shit! I mean this is some crazy shit that I’m feeling to begin with soo….
Thank you for reading my “rant”. If anyone is hurting, I’ve heard that it gets better eventually. I feel your pain, we are all hurting together. Try listening to some Halsey she understands pain. Huge thank you to you guys too! Thank you for letting me air out my thoughts, feelings, and pain, it has helped me so much!
Newt is boiling. Oh, he’s absolutely pissed as he downs another drink, finishing it off by running his bare forearm over the froth caught on his upper lip. You’re across the room, clearly busy with Queenie and Tina as you play pool, but this one man’s been circling the table, his eyebrows apparently eternally raised as he watches the three of you play through the round.
He can hardly hear whatever Jacob’s saying in his ear over the noise. Deafening swing music pounds through the one-room bar. The new Friday drink special dragged a giant, sweaty crowd of people in to celebrate, and Newt’s constantly bumping shoulders with strangers that reek of whiskey and tequila.
He long ago rolled up the sleeves of his white button-down, a style of shirt he now regrets choosing, and his hair’s a mess – ruffled time after time by a drunk Queenie so that strands of it are constantly falling into his eyes. Still, he cares about none of that, attention focused only on you, watching your reactions as the man circles his way toward you again when Queenie excuses herself to head to the bar.
This time, the man goes too far, not just shouting something over the music, but instead stepping closer, hand reaching out for your waist, fingers trailing over the sliver of bare skin you were already nervous about showing off tonight.
But it’s not the way the man smiles at you that sends Newt leaping to his feet, nor is it how his hand lingers on your waist or the way he leans in to whisper something in your ear. No, it’s the look you send Newt – eyes wide, mouth half open in a small O, pleading for help.
And it’s that helplessness that the man is taking advantage of that sends Newt springing to his feet, chest burning in anger and frustration and pure disgust.
“’Scuse me.” He mutters without even looking at Jacob, shoving his chair back. Who in the hell does this man think he is, talking to you – touching you ¬– when you don’t want him to?
A jazzy tune breaks into motion as Newt weaves through the crowd. His hands are rolled into fists, jaw clenched so tight his teeth hurt, and his stride parts the dancers swaying in his way. The crowd shifts, and, through the gap, you’re still staring at him, frozen in shock and terror.
And then Newt’s at the pool table, stepping around the side and reaching for the man’s shoulder without considering how much smaller he is, how easily this man could probably knock him out. No, the only thought running through his whiskey-clouded mind is getting this guy far away from you.
Which is why he reaches across the table and shoves the man, sending him reeling backwards, arms flailing to catch his balance.
“Man, what the hell?” The stranger spits, his own words slurred and pissed as he regains his footing. You reach for Newt, but he shrugs your hand off his shoulder, stepping between you and the man.
“She isn’t interested.” His voice is low, dangerous, wavering on a dark note he didn’t know he had in himself.
“How the fuck would you know?” The man steps toward Newt, shoulders back, eyes boring a hole in the shorter redhead.
But Newt doesn’t back down, not even when you tug on his hand. This man terrified you, insulted you, touched you without your consent. He deserves whatever’s coming to him. “Just leave.
“And if I don’t? You’ll… what? Make me?”
“Yes.” Newt’s so drunk, he knows, and he knows he’ll regret not just taking your hand and leading you to another bar, but he also knows that there is not a single situation he’ll leave you undefended in, including one where he is clearly overpowered.
so obviously kara has spent her entire life trying to fit in right? and this has translated over into her wardrobe and how she presents herself as an unassuming nerd. but as demonstrated by red!k kara, she’s also aware that she’s hella attractive, and if she feels like it she can be sexy as hell, like when she just fuckin. slow motion walks into the bar in that black dress and everyone has to pick their jaw up off the floor??? so IMAGINE if kara had decided to own that part of her, and like, not cared if she stuck out as the sexy, smoldery goddess that she is? because then she would still have her cinnamon roll personality, but wrapped up in the sexy red!k kara aesthetic.
I’m making this a series of some short now, I guess xD. Another small doodle (this one slightly bigger) of Gajeel. I really enjoy making these tiny colourless portraits, it’s pretty relaxing, especially during finals season. It kinda takes the stress out. I may do some more, they’re pretty fun^^
I got a prompt from @fullwizardstrawberry for “Maya proposing to Lucas”. This has been so fun to write, and it’s longer than I anticipated, so I hope you enjoy it.
She was convinced that she met her soulmate 3 years ago to this very day. They had met at a bookstore while she was shopping for a birthday present for her best friend, Riley. She was shopping in the fiction section, on her hands and knees, because Riley had already read practically everything on the top shelf, when suddenly she felt a leg hit her side and they both toppled over. “What the-”
“Oh God, I’m so sorry. I’m sorr-” They were both attempting to stand up, brushing off the dust and dirt that somehow managed to get all over them during the fall. He cut off when he saw how her hair seemed to glow and her eyes sparkled a little bit. It sounded like it would be out of some cheesy fanfiction, but it was true.
“It’s fine. I’m fine.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I would have done if I had hurt you. The bigger you are, the harder you fall.” He was stumbling over his words, blushing like mad. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew that it was because of this girl.
“I’m Maya.” He just wanted to know what was going through her head. It was almost as if he could see the gears turning in her head.
“Lucas.” It came out strange, like it wasn’t really his name.
“Nice to meet you Lucas. Now if you’ll excuse me-” She bent down to get back to her books, but stopped when she heard his voice again.
“Let me take you out to coffee.”
“What?” Her eyes became squinty, and her right eyebrow raised like he had somehow just asked her an impossible question.
“I want to get some coffee with you.” The astounded look didn’t look leave her face.
“I-you-um. I knocked you over and I want to make up for it.” The blush continued creeping, traveling up his neck and onto his ears.
“Like a date?” She said, smirking.
“I mean, only-only if you want it to be.” She could tell he was flustered, but she found it absolutely adorable.
“Sure, here’s my number. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow. Just text me your address.” She pulled a piece of paper out of her purse, wrote her number on it, winked, and then strutted away.
“Wait- where- I’ll see you tomorrow?” That was the first and certainly not the last that Maya Hart would leave Lucas Friar speechless.
She had left him speechless 6 other times since then.
The next one was that next night. He texted her not 20 minutes after she left the store, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Minutes felt like hours and hours passed like days.
She picked him up at his place at 7pm sharp. She got out of her car, and walked to his front door. She didn’t even have to ring the doorbell, he opened the door right as her heel hit the last step coming up to his porch.
She was wearing a red t-shirt dress, with black chunky wedges, and he was wearing a blue polo and pressed tan khakis
“Hey babe.” she said with a wink.
“Hey,” he said, trying to keep a cool persona (and failing). He had never been called “babe” before.
Her red lipstick matched her outfit perfectly, and her eyeliner could kill. He couldn’t say anything more for several minutes. Which provided perfect material for her to tease him with later.
The 2nd time was when she kissed him (later that night), the 3rd when she showed him her art, the 4th when she sang for him, and the 5th was when she cried in front of him after telling him about her dad.
The 6th was last night.
They had moved in a couple weeks ago after dating for almost 3 years. He had asked her to move in with him after she had already been staying with him for a week. They had been talking about it, so it wasn’t totally out of the blue, but she still smiled every time he said “our apartment”.
“We need more milk,” she said groggily. She was never a morning person, but for some strange reason, Lucas was. To him, it was just natural to get up and do something like shop or workout, but Maya would rather sleep in, and do everything productive around 11 pm. That doesn’t always work for every couple but it never seemed to be a problem with them.
“I feel like we are always out of milk?”
“Huckleberry, we both eat cereal every morning. Unless we get a cow that lives in the living room,” his eyes perked up, and his eyebrow raised in attention, “no,” she interjected, “we are going to run out of milk.”
“I’ll grab some on my way home from work.”
“Thank you,” she said before she blew him a kiss. “Remember that we have date night tonight at Murphy’s.”
“Yes, you can get steak.” She got out of her chair, her messy bun bobbing as she trudged over to him. “I love you babe. Have a good day at work.”
“Love you too.” He kissed her on the forehead and walked out the door.
She immediately perked up. “Time to prepare,” she muttered to herself. Lucas was under the impression that it was just a date night and that she would be heading into work in about a hour, but she had requested the day off, and was planning a special night. She had been thinking about it for a while, but had finally decided to propose. Nontraditional, maybe, but when had they ever been traditional?
She still had a few things left on her to-do list, she had to pick up the rings, grab some sunflowers, and pick up her dress from the dry-cleaners. She went around the city, almost in a trance, just imagining what she’s gonna say. She had never been great with words, but for some reason, everything just flowed when he was around.
She got everything ready at the restaurant, one of her best friends owned the place, and it was their date night destination every 2nd Friday of the month. They got a discount, which she liked, and he got steak, which was his favorite. She wanted to make everything seem as normal as possible, so she just texted him that “hey, work is running late, so I’ll meet you at the restaurant at 6. I brought clothes with me. hope you’re having a good day. love you.” This wasn’t really unusual, sometimes working in an art gallery made you run a little late. He sent her back a “k love you <3” and her plan was set into motion.
She started getting ready at 4:30, doing her makeup and slipping into her dress. At around 5:15 she headed over to the restaurant, arranging the sunflowers and her rings to where they needed to be. At 5:45 she went into the bathroom to give herself a pep talk.
“He loves you. You love him with all of your heart. Just follow your plan and say what you feel and everything will be alright.”
She headed back to their table, and texted him that she was there a little bit early, and that they were at their usual spot. He arrived about 5 minutes later, and walked over. He was wearing a black suit that perfectly matched her red dress that was snug around her hips, and matched her lipstick once again.
“Hello Maya Penelope Hart. You look gorgeous tonight.” He had a smirk in his eyes.
“Why hello Huckleberry McBoingBoing. You look quite dapper yourself.” They sat down at their table, and their usual waiter came over.
“The usual?” she said.
“Of course,” Maya said, giving the waiter a wink. The waiter walked away to the kitchen, and Lucas started talking about his day. Everything was going to plan.
Soon the waiter was back with his steak, and her pasta. “Here’s your meals. Hope they taste delicious.” Another wink was exchanged. Lucas raised his eyebrow at her as the waiter handed her a book along with their food.
“You might wonder what this book is. It’s the book I was grabbing when you first fell for me.” She giggled at her own pun. “Ironically, it was ‘How to Fall in Love in 10 Easy Steps’. I came back to that store later that night and bought it. I’ve been paging through every page since then. Marking it up and writing in our stories that matched all of their steps. I’ve loved you for a long time now. I haven’t needed to pick up this book in over 2 years. I picked it up last week to read through what I wrote in it, and started laughing and crying at how much we’ve learned and grown. We still argue about buying milk, and laugh at how sappy ‘The Notebook’ is, but now we live together, and I want to spend every single day with you for the rest of my life.” She got on one knee, pulled a box out of her purse, and wiped a tear out of her eye (good thing she put on waterproof eyeliner and mascara). “Lucas Friar, my Huckleberry, will you marry me?”
And for the 6th time after first meeting her, he was speechless. He could only say one word.